A thread for nothing

[DJChameleon]

So a mate at the office said he's read a poll in the news where randos were asked if they thought it was okay to have friends of the opposite sex. He said most females said yes and most males said no. Then he asked us guys sitting there, I think we were like five guys, if we have any female friends who we could visit or do stuff with. I'm like.. of course! I have female friends and often prefer the company of women.

I was surprised to find I was the only guy out of that group who had female friends.

It's so weird to me. Why would it be like this?

Depends on if they are in a relationship or not I think. Some women feel threatened by their partners having female friends while obviously others don't care and trust their partners.

[Guybrush]

Depends on if they are in a relationship or not I think. Some women feel threatened by their partners having female friends while obviously others don't care and trust their partners.

I hate the idea that everything a guy and a girl does together should be considered a date. I also realize there's a reason people think like this, but I love a good Elaine & Jerry dynamic.

There's a female colleague who loves horror movies (we have so much in common) so I wanted to ask her if she'd like to see Smile 2 at the cinema. Is that weird, then? I'm not physically attracted to her. I just like her. I'll just tell her to bring her BF 🙂

[Lexi Darling]

I have some male IRL friends, though most of my IRL friends are some form of LGBTQIA+, in alternative relationship communities, are neurodivergent or otherwise break from the paradigm of traditional cishet romantic monogamy, so I'm not entirely sure if something like that even applies to very many of us. But even with cishet friends of mine, a lot of people I know are married or in long term relationships and I often become equally friendly with both members of a couple. I really don't even think about the gender of my friends in such an analytical way.

As far as the issue of trust in my relationship goes, having a partner who is bisexual probably influences my feelings on this, if I felt threatened by him spending time with his friends, I'd have to feel threatened by literally everyone he's friends with regardless of gender, lol. His partner before me was a man, for example. So it's not something I feel is worth not trusting him over.

[jimmy jazz]

Most of my friends are women. My best friend from school was a woman. Well a girl, she's a woman now.

[Marie Monday]

Depends on if they are in a relationship or not I think. Some women feel threatened by their partners having female friends while obviously others don't care and trust their partners.

the fact that it's the man voting no points at least as much towards them feeling threatened. Anyway it's obviously ridiculous. I think my own friends are pretty 50/50 male female

[jimmy jazz]

When I was younger, my male and female friends were different. I had different relationships with them.

The lads I'd go round their houses more and have them come round mine and I'd just have a different type of bond with them. Computer games and playing sport, that sort of thing.

I had two or three girls I was close to who I'd stop at theirs or they'd stop at mine and then lots of friends outside of that group. People often accused me of doing sexual things with them but it wasn't like that. Just talking shit and drinking. BTW I'm not gay.

If I'm feeling emotional or need to discuss something like that I'll go to a woman. I'm not sure why just initially I'd feel more comfortable with that.

Men are becoming more understanding in this regard I think and I do have a few lads I'd confide in.

[jimmy jazz]

Old women nearly always have the exact same haircut.

[DJChameleon]

I hate the idea that everything a guy and a girl does together should be considered a date. I also realize there's a reason people think like this, but I love a good Elaine & Jerry dynamic.

There's a female colleague who loves horror movies (we have so much in common) so I wanted to ask her if she'd like to see Smile 2 at the cinema. Is that weird, then? I'm not physically attracted to her. I just like her. I'll just tell her to bring her BF 🙂

Just go to the movies with her. If she feels uncomfortable about it and needs to bring her BF then that's fine too.

I went to a Halloween hayride with a female friend of mines and it wasn't a date. I have 80% female friends and 20% male friends. I feel like I hang out and do outside activities equally with both genders. It's not a big deal to have a platonic friend of the opposite gender.

[jimmy jazz]

Just go to the movies with her. If she feels uncomfortable about it and needs to bring her BF then that's fine too.

I went to a Halloween hayride with a female friend of mines and it wasn't a date. I have 80% female friends and 20% male friends. I feel like I hang out and do outside activities equally with both genders. It's not a big deal to have a platonic friend of the opposite gender.

[Lexi Darling]

I mean, speaking as a trans person I actually more or less agree that there are two genders. I think a lot of people conflate different ways of expressing gender identity as there being a large amount of genders.

A nonbinary person can correct me if I'm wrong, but to me, a lot of the time nonbinary identities seem like different ways of gendered expression that are still ultimately rooted in being a combination of various masculine/feminine identifiers, rather than some unique third/fourth/etc gender completely separate from male and female. There are men and women, some NB people identify as both (e. genderfluid), some as neither (e. agender) but I question whether such NB identities are genders unto themselves.

I know there is a contingent of people who insist that there are 70 million different genders, but I really don't think they have nearly as much influence or pull on the academic or cultural fields of gender.

So no Jimmy, you're not in trouble, not with me anyway lol

[Guybrush]

I am vaguely aware that I must be very ignorant on the topic of gender. From my academic background, I know a lot about biological sexes identified by either small or large gametes. I have a decent grasp on why there would be two types for most kinds of organisms. It's clearly defined and convincingly explained by theory. I also know of some curious cases where organisms don't have sexes (isogamy), but have mating types instead 🍄

But gender is a word I feel is more tied with identity.. based in something abstract and ever-changing. It makes sense to me that gender would reflect sexes, but I also realize it's influenced by all these wishes and idealism and has room for ideas that come out of a struggle that I don't know enough about. So I tend to be humble with my opinions and I don't have any strong ones either way.

So it's like one of those I know something about and for the other, I just try not to mess up too bad.

By the way, thanks for sharing, guys 🙂 I'm happy to see I'm not the only one who can have regular ass friends of the opposite sex.

[jimmy jazz]

I mean, speaking as a trans person I actually more or less agree that there are two genders. I think a lot of people conflate different ways of expressing gender identity as there being a large amount of genders.

A nonbinary person can correct me if I'm wrong, but to me, a lot of the time nonbinary identities seem like different ways of gendered expression that are still ultimately rooted in being a combination of various masculine/feminine identifiers, rather than some unique third/fourth/etc gender completely separate from male and female. There are men and women, some NB people identify as both (e. genderfluid), some as neither (e. agender) but I question whether such NB identities are genders unto themselves.

I know there is a contingent of people who insist that there are 70 million different genders, but I really don't think they have nearly as much influence or pull on the academic or cultural fields of gender.

So no Jimmy, you're not in trouble, not with me anyway lol

Its OK I'm only pulling his leg anyway 😎

[Trollheart]

I'd be happy with any friends of either sex. Or none. Even amoebas hate me, single-cell-dividing bastards. 

[QuantumSync]

https://x.com/nbcsnl/status/1854223897513623730?t=FzY2hnTVWt500S7skKKzqg&s=19

[SGR]

https://x.com/nbcsnl/status/1854223897513623730?t=FzY2hnTVWt500S7skKKzqg&s=19

This should be good