The Longest Yard (American Football Discussion Thread)

[degrassi.knoll]

You watch the Receivers doc? Kittle is a god damn gem. #nationaltightendday

[SGR]

You watch the Receivers doc? Kittle is a god damn gem. #nationaltightendday

Thanks for reminding me about that. I had heard it was on Netflix and then I forgot about it (I don't use Netflix very often). Loved the Quarterback series from last year, so I'm guessing this will be just as good! And Kittle is hilarious - love how he hams it up for the cameras. 

[degrassi.knoll]

I liked it more than the QB one personally -
Sorry to wholesome af Kirk Cousins and all but god what a boring group.

A lot more personality in this one. I'm a new fan Amon-Ra St Brown especially. Also heard a rumor that Brandon Aiyuk and Davante Adams are going to swap teams and as much as I like Aiyuk I'm not mad about him knowing his worth.

[SGR]

I liked it more than the QB one personally -
Sorry to wholesome af Kirk Cousins and all but god what a boring group.

A lot more personality in this one. I'm a new fan Amon-Ra St Brown especially. Also heard a rumor that Brandon Aiyuk and Davante Adams are going to swap teams and as much as I like Aiyuk I'm not mad about him knowing his worth.

lol alright, I'm gonna be honest. I didn't have Netflix at the time it came out so I uhh....found a very legal link to watch it a different way - and I only watched the Mahomes bits (thanks r/KansasCityChiefs!). That probably colored my perception of the series. Because you're right, Cousins is awfully boring. And I can't imagine Marcus Mariota of all people is any less boring. For what it's worth though, if I had kids, and I was forced to pick an NFL QB to babysit them, I'd probably choose Kirko Chainz. He'd bring 'em to church, give them only one cookie, and get them to bed on time! 



I hadn't heard the Davante Adams/Aiyuk trade rumour. That would be kinda wild. Aiyuk is great, but Davante is even better. If you really wanna get rid of Aiyuk though, and the Davante trade doesn't materialize (I'm betting it won't), I'll trade you Kadarius Toney and a bag of chips for him. 

You think there's another series like this cooking for Netflix?

Long Snapper?

Kick Returner?

Jokes aside, I'd guess if they do another one, it'll be about either offensive and defensive linemen or running backs. Either would be interesting.

[degrassi.knoll]

I'm holding my breath for Special Teams

[SGR]

CHIEFS' CHRIS JONES OFFERS $1.5M FOR STOLEN WINGS 🍗 To Free Woman From Prison

Alright, I've officially had enough of the Chiefs offseason. Can we just start the season already? 

[degrassi.knoll]

Not nearly as cool as Flav sponsoring women's polo but alright lul.

Preseason has been annoying though I agree. Sounds like we're keeping Aiyuk though which is like, FUCK DUDE PAY THE MAN!!! Why are you playing like that??!? FUCK. I hate that the NFL is just another corporate business. Did I tell you my new boss used to play for the Raiders? He's told me so much shady shit that went down during his time it's hard to look at anything the same. It's certainly not the best players getting the best deals, let alone playing time. It's gross. And I feel like KC is the embodiment of purchasing star power. GROSS!

[SGR]

Not nearly as cool as Flav sponsoring women's polo but alright lul.

Preseason has been annoying though I agree. Sounds like we're keeping Aiyuk though which is like, FUCK DUDE PAY THE MAN!!! Why are you playing like that??!? FUCK. I hate that the NFL is just another corporate business. Did I tell you my new boss used to play for the Raiders? He's told me so much shady shit that went down during his time it's hard to look at anything the same. It's certainly not the best players getting the best deals, let alone playing time. It's gross. And I feel like KC is the embodiment of purchasing star power. GROSS!

Flava Flav sponsored women's polo?    I guess I'd never heard of that. (Public Enemy's fifth album is vastly underrated, as an aside).

You definitely did not mention your boss played for the Raiders lol. What position did he play? You don't have to give his name or anything. Was he with them for a long time?

I don't doubt that people in the NFL, whether players or otherwise, have a lot of dirty laundry they could air. The NFL is so entertaining that it is easy to forget that, at the end of the day, it's a business just like McDonald's is a business and the product on the field is the primary concern. By KC being the embodiment of 'purchasing star power', do you just mean they are at an unfair advantage in signing talent? If so, I mean, I think that comes with winning two Super Bowls back to back. Juju Smith Schuster did well in a one year deal there in his signing to the Patriots. Riding the coattails you could say.

[degrassi.knoll]

Flava Flav sponsored women's polo?    I guess I'd never heard of that. (Public Enemy's fifth album is vastly underrated, as an aside).

Yeah dude he found out the women's Olympic team were all working two and three jobs just to get by so he swooped in and sponsored them so they could go to Paris lol. Baller move.

You definitely did not mention your boss played for the Raiders lol. What position did he play? You don't have to give his name or anything. Was he with them for a long time?

He was drafted out of college and played from 2008-2010 until a back injury took him out (which revealed an entirely sinister subplot in his whole story). He was going to sign with 49ers in 2010 but their doctor couldn't clear him and actually told him that his previous docs did not have his best interests in mind. He ruptured some discs and they injected him with steroids to keep him playing until eventually his discs were just rubbing together bone on bone with his spinal cord pinched in between. He is very lucky to still be able to walk.

Then he got the boot and was hooked on pain pills and his wife left him. I don't know how he bounced back but he is the shit. I love working with him. Definitely some CTE there, but I'm good at figuring out the word he's trying to remember lol.

By KC being the embodiment of 'purchasing star power', do you just mean they are at an unfair advantage in signing talent? If so, I mean, I think that comes with winning two Super Bowls back to back. Juju Smith Schuster did well in a one year deal there in his signing to the Patriots. Riding the coattails you could say.

I mean moreso in terms of prioritization. KC will have a legacy of superstardom. I just don't find it as cute as my 49ers bloodline players.

[SGR]

Yeah dude he found out the women's Olympic team were all working two and three jobs just to get by so he swooped in and sponsored them so they could go to Paris lol. Baller move.

He was drafted out of college and played from 2008-2010 until a back injury took him out (which revealed an entirely sinister subplot in his whole story). He was going to sign with 49ers in 2010 but their doctor couldn't clear him and actually told him that his previous docs did not have his best interests in mind. He ruptured some discs and they injected him with steroids to keep him playing until eventually his discs were just rubbing together bone on bone with his spinal cord pinched in between. He is very lucky to still be able to walk.

Then he got the boot and was hooked on pain pills and his wife left him. I don't know how he bounced back but he is the shit. I love working with him. Definitely some CTE there, but I'm good at figuring out the word he's trying to remember lol.

I mean moreso in terms of prioritization. KC will have a legacy of superstardom. I just don't find it as cute as my 49ers bloodline players.

That's actually really cool. Flav has always been a hilarious and genuine dude.

And Jesus, it's not something I often think about, but the doctors most players deal with are on the payroll of the team, do I have that right? In other words, they've got the best interest of the team in mind over perhaps the best interest of the individual player. Very glad he's doing okay now though.

Speaking of addiction to pills, my Dad is who got me into football. He is a Chargers fan (one of the brave, one of the few, and one of the miserable) since he was a wee lad. You can imagine how much fun him and I have given that I'm a Chiefs fan. But anyways, I don't know if you remember, but the Chargers drafted Ryan Leaf second overall in the 1998 draft (after only Peyton Manning himself). Leaf was a legendary draft bust. He was a diva and he had a horrible work ethic and loved to party. He ended up fizzling out after a couple of disappointing seasons. He ended up going to prison after racking up drug possession, burglary, and domestic abuse charges. I believe he had at least a couple stints in prison. He was addicted to opiod pills.

Anyways, my father hates the guy, as most Charger fans do. A dark time for their franchise. So my brother and I, a couple years ago, hatch a brilliant joke Christmas gift for our father. We found Ryan Leaf on that Cameo site where you can pay celebrities to record custom video messages. So we come up with this idea - we got a whole bunch of friends and relatives to record personalized 'Merry Christmas' videos tailored specifically for our father and compiled it together with Ryan Leaf's video that he sent us - we pop it on the TV during Christmas - and then, after 5 minutes or so had passed...up pops Ryan Leaf, addressing my father by name and saying: "San Diego Chargers legend, Ryan Leaf here..." (we asked him to say that  ). Needless to say, we got Ryan Leaf to tell our Dad how great of a father he was and how special of a person he was to his boys. And believe it or not...my Dad was not happy about it. He said to my mother later on: "If they're going to just get me a joke gift, they might as well not get me a gift at all!" For my brother and I, it was still $150 well spent. You shoulda seen his face though after Ryan Leaf appeared on screen addressing him by name... 

[degrassi.knoll]

And Jesus, it's not something I often think about, but the doctors most players deal with are on the payroll of the team, do I have that right? In other words, they've got the best interest of the team in mind over perhaps the best interest of the individual player. Very glad he's doing okay now though.

Yeah dude exactly. He said it's changed a lot since his time, but on his way to an appointment he straight up overheard the Raiders doc say about the player who had just left his office, "let him play, he's not going to be with us in two years anyway." Supposedly it's better now.

Speaking of addiction to pills, my Dad is who got me into football. He is a Chargers fan (one of the brave, one of the few, and one of the miserable) since he was a wee lad. You can imagine how much fun him and I have given that I'm a Chiefs fan. But anyways, I don't know if you remember, but the Chargers drafted Ryan Leaf second overall in the 1998 draft (after only Peyton Manning himself). Leaf was a legendary draft bust. He was a diva and he had a horrible work ethic and loved to party. He ended up fizzling out after a couple of disappointing seasons. He ended up going to prison after racking up drug possession, burglary, and domestic abuse charges. I believe he had at least a couple stints in prison. He was addicted to opiod pills.

Anyways, my father hates the guy, as most Charger fans do. A dark time for their franchise. So my brother and I, a couple years ago, hatch a brilliant joke Christmas gift for our father. We found Ryan Leaf on that Cameo site where you can pay celebrities to record custom video messages. So we come up with this idea - we got a whole bunch of friends and relatives to record personalized 'Merry Christmas' videos tailored specifically for our father and compiled it together with Ryan Leaf's video that he sent us - we pop it on the TV during Christmas - and then, after 5 minutes or so had passed...up pops Ryan Leaf, addressing my father by name and saying: "San Diego Chargers legend, Ryan Leaf here..." (we asked him to say that  ). Needless to say, we got Ryan Leaf to tell our Dad how great of a father he was and how special of a person he was to his boys. And believe it or not...my Dad was not happy about it. He said to my mother later on: "If they're going to just get me a joke gift, they might as well not get me a gift at all!" For my brother and I, it was still $150 well spent. 

That's hilarious, I haven't thought of that dude in years lmao

Dad needs to one up you. Get Mahomes to tell you and your brother what failures you are lol.

[SGR]

Yeah dude exactly. He said it's changed a lot since his time, but on his way to an appointment he straight up overheard the Raiders doc say about the player who had just left his office, "let him play, he's not going to be with us in two years anyway." Supposedly it's better now.

Christ almighty, well I hope it's better now. The NFL is still working toward a better balance of entertaining sports and safety for the players (can we get rid of artificial tuf yet?) - I think I read that the new guardian caps will actually be allowed if a player wants to use them in season, but I'm guessing it will take a decent few brave souls before that starts becoming normal, otherwise they'll be shamed, which is sad to think about. Yeah, they look goofy, and yeah, it'd be better if a helmet could be designed without the goofy appearance that offers the same protection, but you gotta start somewhere I guess.

That's hilarious, I haven't thought of that dude in years lmao

Dad needs to one up you. Get Mahomes to tell you and your brother what failures you are lol.

Yup lol, if my Dad wants Mahomes to do it, he'll probably have to wait a long while. Heck, maybe he could get Ryan Leaf to do it, as a person who knows very intimately what a failure of a person is when he sees it. 

My brother is a die hard Patriots/Brady fan by the way. If it wasn't for my undying hatred and disdain of the Patriots, I may not have even got into football to the degree I have.

[degrassi.knoll]

Dude the saddest part of my guy's whole story is that he's featured in a few NCAA and Madden games but his character was given  the worst stats and he was universally one of the least popular characters. Talk about kicking him when he's down, fuck!

Btw I don't think I don't you I changed jobs either. I quit the school and am working at a different place now doing something more aligned with my social work goals. That's where I met the Oakland relic.

[SGR]

Dude the saddest part of my guy's whole story is that he's featured in a few NCAA and Madden games but his character was given  the worst stats and he was universally one of the least popular characters. Talk about kicking him when he's down, fuck!

Btw I don't think I don't you I changed jobs either. I quit the school and am working at a different place now doing something more aligned with my social work goals. That's where I met the Oakland relic.

Well, I guess it depends on how you frame it. If I was him I'd tell people: "I'm in a motherfucking video game!!!" I could be the 'Dan' of Street Fighter but damn, if I'm in the game, I don't know how much I'd really care about how effective my character is in terms of the stats. This hits because I'm considering buying Madden 25 when it releases this Friday - the last one I have is Madden 21, I definitely don't buy it every year. By the way, did this boss of yours provide any hot takes on Jon Gruden (despite that he wasn't there during his tenures)? 

So are you still working at a different school with the kiddos? Or is it a different thing entirely?

[SGR]

@degrassi.knoll did you see Will Levis recently partnered with Hellman's Mayonnaise to release his own custom cologne?  Commercial seems like an SNL sketch but nah it's real

And oh yeah, it's sold out

https://willlevisnumber8.com/products/will-levis-n08

I gotta buy this if I can as a joke gift for a number of people