I have some interesting life stories...

[robhr]

Overall at the moment I'm living a pretty boring life, but in my 20s I had a few moments.

I hope it doesn't seem too egotistical to post some of my life stories, just that I've had some interesting experiences and I want to share them, I think they will be entertaining.

Here's the first one...

The Crackwhore

Several months before the story I had met the only love of my life. She was a crack... whore. A crackwhore. She sucked cock for crack. Never would have thought I'd fall in love with a crackwhore, but I did. I wanted her to quit and she too wanted to quit. I never smoked the crack with her.

Then she's just dead. Dead from a crack overdose.

In my grief I decided I need to know what's so great about crack that she would risk her life for it. So I walked down to the rough end of the city, the north end, and started asking around until I found this prostitute.

I gave her the money and she went in to the house, but came back out and says we'll have to try again later, in the meantime she has a small amount and I had my pipe ready to go. We walked over to a bus stop and smoked the crack. She asked me if I like sex. I passed.

So she goes back in to the house later while I sit on the steps of an apartment building next door analyzing the crack high. I don't even know what the fuck happened here, something about her being thrown out of a moving car, which she was pretty casual about, it must happen a lot. Anyway there was no crack and I'm out 60 bucks, this was after I left my job but before I started getting government money so I was gonna need that money back. She volunteers to call this guy who's always willing to fuck for cash but we had to wait awhile so we went back to my place.

So she asks if I have any drugs, I say I have some designer drugs in the freezer. So we both snorted 2C-I and drank wine. Her nose burned from inexperience and she asked me to give her a nose blow job so I did. She asks if she can borrow my phone and goes into the bathroom. Right after that she's yelling "WAILLIN WAILLIN DON'T LEAVE ME!" and then leaves.

As she's walking out the door I yell at her down the hall all "Where the fuck is my phone!?" and she says she left it on my shelf. I said "oh shit sorry" but I don't think she heard me. And in retrospect I'm not that sorry, as she broke my wine glass on the steps outside my apartment.

[Guybrush]

I'm sorry the woman you were in love with died. That's rough.

The rest of this story sounds like something out of trailer park boys with just a bit more grit to it. What's 2C-I?

[robhr]

I'm sorry the woman you were in love with died. That's rough.

The rest of this story sounds like something out of trailer park boys with just a bit more grit to it. What's 2C-I?

Thank you.

2C-I is a synthetic psychedelic phenethylamine. Phenethylamines are things like mescaline and MDMA.

[robhr]

The Drunk Tank

I'm sitting at home in my underwear and a t-shirt, with my bong and my scotch & dr. pepper. I'm walking back to my computer when bam! The police kick down the door guns drawn. I say "What the fuuuuu..."

Apparently a neighbour heard yelling and a gunshot. I had been yelling over the phone but the gunshot must have been from outside or she made it up. So they get me a pair of pants from my room, put me in cuffs and take me to the drunk tank. Sent to the drunk tank for being drunk and yelling in my own apartment.

In the drunk tank I get more time because I won't stop yelling about society and my predicament. "I'm locked in a room with a drain and a mat because I was caught drunk and yelling in my own apartment!" For some reason when I yell I get a subtle German accent, I guess I get it from my mother's side.

I'm there until about 4 in the morning, then I get to walk home through dangerous downtown streets at 4 AM holding up my pants by the pocket because I didn't have a belt.

Got home and finished my drink and my bowl that they were nice enough to leave me. This was back when weed was illegal.

[robhr]

The Fucked Up Face

So I'm outside a 7-11 in Brandon on summer break from university when this guy comes up to us. He had beef with the friend of one of the people with us so I guess that means he has a beef with us. So he hits the one guy, then tugs at the shirt of one of the other guys, then he asks if I want some of this... And I may have said yes, so I may have had it coming, so he punches me in the head, I go for him but because of drunkenness and his friends getting between us I miss, he knocks me down, my head hits the corner of a phone terminal and he punches me six more times.

So I'm at home the next day with a black eye and a swollen lip and I'm elevating my cat onto the basement window when the darkening shade falls down and freaks him out and he severely claws my face up.

With the bruises and the scratches, people at work the next day thought I got beaten up by a girl.

[Guybrush]

Haha, oh man. So how long has it been since the last time you were in a fight?

I'm enjoying your stories

[robhr]

Haha, oh man. So how long has it been since the last time you were in a fight?

I'm enjoying your stories

That was the last one, 'bout 15 years ago.

And thanks.

[Toy Revolver]

Back to the first story, I'm interested in the woman. How did you meet? What did she look like? What attracted you to her? Did her appearance suffer because of her addiction? Did you try to get her to rehab? Did you find her deviancy exciting? Was she a good lover? Did she have a job? Did she ever steal from you? Did she have a funeral? Who first contacted you about her death? Was she black?

[robhr]

Back to the first story, I'm interested in the woman. How did you meet? What did she look like? What attracted you to her? Did her appearance suffer because of her addiction? Did you try to get her to rehab? Did you find her deviancy exciting? Was she a good lover? Did she have a job? Did she ever steal from you? Did she have a funeral? Who first contacted you about her death? Was she black?

She was the woman who used to live in my apartment before me, I met her at a neighbour's party.

She was very attractive, blonde.

I was attracted to her creativeness and intellect. She wanted to make movies with me.

I only ever knew her during crack days so I couldn't say if it affected her looks but I'm learning towards no, no facial scarring or anything.


We never discussed rehab but we both wanted her to quit.

I must admit I kinda did. I'm deviant too but, yeah, less than her.

I'm going to say she was a good lover but honestly I'm not very experienced so I wouldn't have noticed if she wasn't.

She had a job, retail.

She never stole from me.

She had a funeral.

Her brother told me.

She was white.

[Toy Revolver]

first time i snorted coke was in homeroom in 9th grade - a lot of friends smoked freebase but i never did - i remember them handing me the pipe and i said i don't want to - nobody tried to peer pressure me they just argued over who was going to get my hit

i'm not sure if they just called crack freebase or if it was richard pryor style real pre-crack freebase

whatever it was i wasn't interested in going down that road

[Toy Revolver]

scotch & dr. pepper

you kinda deserved it tbh

just kidding- that's what fascism is - kicking your door in and dragging you off for no reason

that happens to some people and the cops throw in a resisting charge and suddenly five years - happens everyday

[robhr]

scotch & dr. pepper

you kinda deserved it tbh

just kidding- that's what fascism is - kicking your door in and dragging you off for no reason

that happens to some people and the cops throw in a resisting charge and suddenly five years - happens everyday

It mixes better than you'd think.

It's true, I was lucky I was white.

[Toy Revolver]

my head hits the corner of a phone terminal and he punches me six more times.

did you suffer anything similar to ptsd

that's a hard beat down

[robhr]

my head hits the corner of a phone terminal and he punches me six more times.

did you suffer anything similar to ptsd

that's a hard beat down

Not from that, no.

[robhr]

The Synchronicity Car Accident

In high school I was walking to school from lunch with an acquaintance. I slipped and fell on the ice and these two seniors drove by and gave me the slow clap then turned down the next street. We then turned down the street and the seniors had slipped on the ice and crashed into a tree. We laughed and gave them the slow clap.