I have some interesting life stories...

[robhr]

Oh I have another one but I don't know if I should post it... It isn't the PTSD one you won't be getting that. No, no... This one... My god this one... So creepy. I let myself into such a creepy fucking situation and I'll be honest the other party didn't help. Then my parents had a big dumb ass reaction to it, I was 14, and I'll give you guys that one too. I'll just copy paste this one from my full writings that you'll get eventually. The writings aren't all about me but my life story is a small little part of it. It's mostly essays blah blah blah off the topic. Anyway yeah such a creepy story. Creepy creepy story. You guys want it? I won't post it unless you want it because it's a big fat vibe ruiner but I want to show you.

I started showing people and now I just want to show everybody I'm addicted to shame just kidding.

I swear I don't want to share it because of emotional issues it's just an interesting story.

So yeah you want it?

[grindy]

Oh I have another one but I don't know if I should post it... It isn't the PTSD one you won't be getting that. No, no... This one... My god this one... So creepy. I let myself into such a creepy fucking situation and I'll be honest the other party didn't help. Then my parents had a big dumb ass reaction to it, I was 14, and I'll give you guys that one too. I'll just copy paste this one from my full writings that you'll get eventually. The writings aren't all about me but my life story is a small little part of it. It's mostly essays blah blah blah off the topic. Anyway yeah such a creepy story. Creepy creepy story. You guys want it? I won't post it unless you want it because it's a big fat vibe ruiner but I want to show you.

I started showing people and now I just want to show everybody I'm addicted to shame just kidding.

I swear I don't want to share it because of emotional issues it's just an interesting story.

So yeah you want it?

Yes please!
Found your thread just now and it's an interesting read.
While I was never particularly fucked up, I did hang with a druggy crowd back in the day (also nowadays, now that I think about it) and did my share of substances (never crack or heroin or something like that, though) and a lot of this stuff resonates with me.

[robhr]

Alright here it comes. What the hell you can have my yelling at my parents too.

The thing I wrote about that my brain did after this incident, yet another thing fixed by writing this story. Just pop spark vanished. The miracle of writing, it helps you decompartmentalize everything.

The Elly Incident

So there was this girl on a message board and we started chatting on AIM. I was in love with her. She was sweet, adorable and flirty. And her avatar was that hot redhead from Xenogears and I pictured it as her. Eventually she finds out I'm a teenager and is all "I thought you were like 30 by your posting style, I feel really weird flirting with a teenager." This is where I find out she's quite a bit older. Old enough to have a masters in history. I convince her it's fine she can keep flirting with me and because she's so submissive she's all like "Okay..." One day I tell her I love her. She does not return it. I panic and am all like "I mean as a friend." Then one day we video chat and I find out she's ugly so my feelings towards her get quite complicated. Then one day it's my birthday and she wants to send me a card. So I figure okay I'll just be the one to check the mail every day so my parents never find out. God being God, the card comes on the one day I don't check the mail and my parents do. My mother is all what's this and I'm all nothing. My father comes home and asks what's up and my mother's all "Rob's got a girlfriend..." I read the card, it's a very long affectionate message about how great I am in her usually overly affectionate tone. She lives life as though she is on an empathogen, everybody is amazing. I hide the card. Later my parents go through my room and find the card and assume she's in love with me. They look her up, find out she's old, call the police on her in Texas, and now she has a record. Still pissed at them for that one but writing releases the rage. Eventually she did marry a younger member of that same message board, not nearly as young as me but younger. Then later one day I'm chatting with some other girl from the message board and we're making fun of Elly, I tell her the story like it's some kind of funny story and then she didn't like me anymore.

The Elly incident made me ashamed of my feelings and awkward with love. I know my love is creepy.

Ever since the Elly incident in the back of my mind I have hated and disrespected my parents, and this is only going to snowball. I love you. At this point you, my parents, may be thinking "We only did what we thought was best." Here is what you did: You misinterpreted a situation like you always misinterpret a situation, you thought I was helpless and you need to step in like you always think I'm helpless and you need to step in, you acted irrationally like you always act irrationally, you did the largest most unnecessary thing you could do, and then when the whole thing was over and I try to tell you what Elly's true feelings were you called me a liar.

[tristan_geoff]

Alright here it comes. What the hell you can have my yelling at my parents too.

The thing I wrote about that my brain did after this incident, yet another thing fixed by writing this story. Just pop spark vanished. The miracle of writing, it helps you decompartmentalize everything.

The Elly Incident

So there was this girl on a message board and we started chatting on AIM. I was in love with her. She was sweet, adorable and flirty. And her avatar was that hot redhead from Xenogears and I pictured it as her. Eventually she finds out I'm a teenager and is all "I thought you were like 30 by your posting style, I feel really weird flirting with a teenager." This is where I find out she's quite a bit older. Old enough to have a masters in history. I convince her it's fine she can keep flirting with me and because she's so submissive she's all like "Okay..." One day I tell her I love her. She does not return it. I panic and am all like "I mean as a friend." Then one day we video chat and I find out she's ugly so my feelings towards her get quite complicated. Then one day it's my birthday and she wants to send me a card. So I figure okay I'll just be the one to check the mail every day so my parents never find out. God being God, the card comes on the one day I don't check the mail and my parents do. My mother is all what's this and I'm all nothing. My father comes home and asks what's up and my mother's all "Rob's got a girlfriend..." I read the card, it's a very long affectionate message about how great I am in her usually overly affectionate tone. She lives life as though she is on an empathogen, everybody is amazing. I hide the card. Later my parents go through my room and find the card and assume she's in love with me. They look her up, find out she's old, call the police on her in Texas, and now she has a record. Still pissed at them for that one but writing releases the rage. Eventually she did marry a younger member of that same message board, not nearly as young as me but younger. Then later one day I'm chatting with some other girl from the message board and we're making fun of Elly, I tell her the story like it's some kind of funny story and then she didn't like me anymore.

The Elly incident made me ashamed of my feelings and awkward with love. I know my love is creepy.

Ever since the Elly incident in the back of my mind I have hated and disrespected my parents, and this is only going to snowball. I love you. At this point you, my parents, may be thinking "We only did what we thought was best." Here is what you did: You misinterpreted a situation like you always misinterpret a situation, you thought I was helpless and you need to step in like you always think I'm helpless and you need to step in, you acted irrationally like you always act irrationally, you did the largest most unnecessary thing you could do, and then when the whole thing was over and I try to tell you what Elly's true feelings were you called me a liar.

I don't believe we have ever interacted on this forum, maybe musicbanter but I'm not sure what member u were if so?  Anyways, jesus.  This story is tragic to read about I was audibly reacting to it and just asking what horrible event would happen next :/ sorry you had to go through that, it's so unfortunate that parents are often universally of this antiquated mindset of overprotection from "growing" dangers, dangers that are different but still comparable to ones they experienced growing up.  And because of that mismatch, it leads to things like this where misunderstandings blow up and disbelief is creating in both parties.  We can only hope to aspire as a species to bridge the gap and solve the traumas that our parents instilled in us, bringing us back together as people despite our differences.  I know that isn't possible for all, some parents are definitely best not spoken to ever again.  I mean shit, my parents are great kind people who I look to for guidance at times, but I still have my own share of trauma from their upbringing.  People often are not aware of the pain they are causing until it is too late.  Malicious people do exist though too.

I say that first sentence because it seems to me you are a very thoughtful person and I look forward to interacting with you further on here. 

[tristan_geoff]

It would be overlooking also if I didn't note that, yeah while Elly was kinda persuaded to be ok with it, she gave in wayyy too easily to this situation.

Idk, even if she was really altruistic about people, that could have been blinding on her sense of like, things that are definitely not ok to be doing.

The person on the same chatroom you brought it up to I hope was more weirded out by the situation than damning of your part in it, it seems like you had little control over what was happening at all, shit I hate that for you :/

[grindy]

That sucked. We should definitely be mindful about age gaps because it can lead to power imbalances that can in turn lead to abusive and damaging situations but we also should be able to look at such constellations with a bit of nuance and not just by doing the math, panicking, judging and leaving it at that.

[robhr]

I don't believe we have ever interacted on this forum, maybe musicbanter but I'm not sure what member u were if so?

We have not. I'm not sure maybe I had a very brief and unmemorable presence on musicbanter, I went by robhr there as well.

Anyways, jesus.  This story is tragic to read about I was audibly reacting to it and just asking what horrible event would happen next :/ sorry you had to go through that,

Thank you.

it's so unfortunate that parents are often universally of this antiquated mindset of overprotection from "growing" dangers, dangers that are different but still comparable to ones they experienced growing up.  And because of that mismatch, it leads to things like this where misunderstandings blow up and disbelief is creating in both parties.  We can only hope to aspire as a species to bridge the gap and solve the traumas that our parents instilled in us, bringing us back together as people despite our differences.

It's a shame misunderstandings can produce situations like this. I always try to clear up misunderstandings but the other party often refuses to see my side of it. I'm going to toot my own horn here, but I always feel I have a better understanding of what happened and the other party is still emotionally invested in their side of the story and will simply refuse any information coming at them that may change their opinion. It is very frustrating. Sorry, ego trip.

I know that isn't possible for all, some parents are definitely best not spoken to ever again.  I mean shit, my parents are great kind people who I look to for guidance at times, but I still have my own share of trauma from their upbringing.

I'm sorry to hear that, maybe we can talk about it some time, I wouldn't mind getting to know you.

People often are not aware of the pain they are causing until it is too late.  Malicious people do exist though too.

I have another snide comment about "emotionally invested in an incorrect opinion" but you can use your imagination it's mean.

I say that first sentence because it seems to me you are a very thoughtful person and I look forward to interacting with you further on here.

I appreciate it, the feeling is mutual.

It would be overlooking also if I didn't note that, yeah while Elly was kinda persuaded to be ok with it, she gave in wayyy too easily to this situation.

Idk, even if she was really altruistic about people, that could have been blinding on her sense of like, things that are definitely not ok to be doing.

Oh most definitely. She is far too submissive I'm sure it's gotten her into a lot of other trouble.

The person on the same chatroom you brought it up to I hope was more weirded out by the situation than damning of your part in it, it seems like you had little control over what was happening at all, shit I hate that for you :/

I think just weirded out, yeah. But I kind of had it coming for thinking it was an appropriate thing to share.

That sucked. We should definitely be mindful about age gaps because it can lead to power imbalances that can in turn lead to abusive and damaging situations but we also should be able to look at such constellations with a bit of nuance and not just by doing the math, panicking, judging and leaving it at that.

I am forced to think a little differently about age gaps as my father is 13 years older than my mother. Oops I got a 19 year old pregnant. But you are correct, there is most certainly a power imbalance that we must acknowledge. I will say that when you are an adult there is no excuse for a relationship with a child. Not that I'm calling Elly an accidental pedophile but she should have rejected the whole idea immediately.

[Guybrush]

It's a fascinating read, @robhr , as all your stories have been. Thank you so much for sharing.

Maybe you wrote it and I didn't see, but about how old were you when this went down?

[robhr]

It's a fascinating read, @robhr , as all your stories have been. Thank you so much for sharing.

Maybe you wrote it and I didn't see, but about how old were you when this went down?

Thank you. I believe I was 14. 14 or 15. I think 14.

[grindy]

We have not. I'm not sure maybe I had a very brief and unmemorable presence on musicbanter, I went by robhr there as well.

Thank you.

It's a shame misunderstandings can produce situations like this. I always try to clear up misunderstandings but the other party often refuses to see my side of it. I'm going to toot my own horn here, but I always feel I have a better understanding of what happened and the other party is still emotionally invested in their side of the story and will simply refuse any information coming at them that may change their opinion. It is very frustrating. Sorry, ego trip.

I'm sorry to hear that, maybe we can talk about it some time, I wouldn't mind getting to know you.

I have another snide comment about "emotionally invested in an incorrect opinion" but you can use your imagination it's mean.

I appreciate it, the feeling is mutual.

Oh most definitely. She is far too submissive I'm sure it's gotten her into a lot of other trouble.

I think just weirded out, yeah. But I kind of had it coming for thinking it was an appropriate thing to share.

I am forced to think a little differently about age gaps as my father is 13 years older than my mother. Oops I got a 19 year old pregnant. But you are correct, there is most certainly a power imbalance that we must acknowledge. I will say that when you are an adult there is no excuse for a relationship with a child. Not that I'm calling Elly an accidental pedophile but she should have rejected the whole idea immediately.

Yeah, it was definitely wrong of her, no excuses there but it didn't warrant hysteria.