Trollheart's Hate List

[Lexi Darling]

For me it's less that Morrissey whines so much as he never gives me the impression of sincerity in his whining. He always comes off as cynical and it just takes me right out of relating to what he's saying.

[Trollheart]

Were I anyone else you would probably all say "surely you've heard Adele's music before?" But I remind you who  you're talking to, the man who used to say "I likes what I like" and evince your grandad's opinion on "today's music" at the grizzled age of 40. So no: like probably 98% of pop music from the 1990s onwards, and certainly from the twenty-first century, I've heard nothing from this woman who is, supposedly (see previous post) the "saviour of music". Yeah. Well, to be fair, I did encounter her once, and once only, for some other thread I was doing (Chart Fifty maybe? Not sure, not important) and the song was... wow. I mean wow. It was, and I think I can say this without hyperbole, really really all right. Meh. I sort of liked it, but I wasn't running down to enlist in her fan club, or getting out plans to build a church to her or anything.

I would predict that my reaction to her music, in general, is going to be that it's not shite but it's not the best thing I've ever heard. Of course, this is only my personal opinion, but when is it not? Feel free, as always, to chime in, but do remember that at no point am I saying this artist is terrible, just that in my opinion they may not deserve the often messianic adoration they seem to receive, and that there are better artists out there. I wouldn't imagine I have anything against the woman - if she's made herself a career in music fair play to her - but on the rare occasion I've come across what I would consider a "special" artist, I've been able to say why they're special, and back that up. It's all  matter of perspective and personal choice of course, but to me, a pop star (or rock star) is not "phenomenal" merely by being able to play and write music. Let me give you an analogy. No, sorry, I think you'll find the doors are all locked. Now stop whimpering and telling me you have a family and to have mercy. Sit down. This won't take long.

Last night I watched Gary Lineker explain on the Match of the Day Top 10 podcast (yes, they also broadcast it on the telly. Shut up) explain why professional football is so hard. He said it's great if you have a talent for football, but the amount of work, skill, discipline and even sometimes luck it takes to get into a proper team, then to get into the Premiership and finally play for your country leave a huge gulf between those who play, and those who play professionally. So while a football player in a local team might sneer at say Bradford and opine that he could do better, he doesn't realise the difference there is between what he does and what the Bradford player does, how much harder it is for the guy playing in the Championship, or wherever. This doesn't mean, in Lineker's eyes, that the guy slagging off the Bradford player can't play, just that he can't play as well as him, otherwise, well, he would be. He'd be in a club, maybe even playing at international level. But he's not, because he's not as good.

In the same way, a musician who plays good music is undoubtedly talented. I can't play - though I tried - and so in a way I know how hard it is. But by the same token, just being able to play (and/or write) does not make you the next big thing. It might (look at Prince at the time he exploded onto the scene, or I guess Dylan or The Beatles or insert artist here) but it doesn't necessarily follow. Just as there are good movie actors and bad movie actors, and some incredible movie actors, it doesn't mean that everyone who acts in a movie is a star. So while Adele (yes yes I'm getting back to her don't worry) can, I'm sure, write and sing and play, so can thousands of other artists, so what places her above the pack? What makes her the cream of the crop, the god-damn saviour of music? That's what I aim to find out, or to disprove.

But first, as ever, some background. So, who is Adele? Well, despite my pithy comment earlier, she does of course have a second name, but given that her full name is Adele Laurie Blue Adkins, one might wonder why she didn't make an acronym of it and become known as ALBA? Anyway, that's her. She's had a tough life apparently, with her father leaving her mother at age 2 (when she was 2, not her mother or father duh!) and then having to move from Tottenham to Brixton, which can't have been easy. But a tough upbringing doesn't necessarily factor in for me; lots of people came up the hard way, and if they found a way out of poverty or unemployment or crime through music, great. Still, as a certain young lady used to sing, really, that don't impress me much. Nor do all the Grammys she's won, as personally I think awards are a bit of a sham, as anyone who's lost out on one will no doubt agree. Sure, Grammys show that the music world thinks a lot of you, but as The Simpsons will tell you, they're not that highly thought of really.

Seems she got her break the old way, sending in a demo, so at least the dreaded X-Factor and YouTube path to fame don't figure in her story. There's the usual charity stuff and her support of the LGBTQ conmunity, which is always nice to read, and then some stuff about her being ordained a minister, about which I care nothing but am just telling you, and then we go into a long, somewhat arse-licking line of folks who talk about her legacy and how she is "the Queen of Hearts". Right. Okay. That's all very fine. Probably makes her a nice person, something I wouldn't contest, but again don't really care about. It's nice to be nice, but then, the Stones never made their career on being nice, and if you called John Lydon nice, you'd probably spend the next few hours trying to extract his boot from your arse. So being nice is not a prerequisite for being a good musician, or indeed, a star.

As they say, it's all about the music in the end.
So let's listen to some.


19 Year: 2008

I would say my first impression is that it's like listening to some sort of gentle laid-back folk or something, maybe, I don't know, Joni Mitchell? Not very familiar with the folk scene now to be honest, but I could hear maybe Janis Ian or a maybe Carole King idea there? Certainly nothing wrong with her voice, and she knows how to sing - very powerful at times - though her diction kind of annoys me. Is that affected? The way she sort of flattens th's and so forth? I suppose obvious comparisons must be made to the late Amy Winehouse, or Lana del Rey. I'd have to say that, right off the bat, it's not my kind of music: a bit drony, a bit whiny, a bit too stripped back, but we'll see how it goes.

Here's an interesting thing. The guy doing all the production on the strings is Will Malone, who will possibly be known to fans of Iron Maiden, as he produced their first album, which the band did not appreciate, believing his work made the production too muddy. Anyway back to this thing. "Chasing Pavements", which I suppose everyone knows (bar me) has a nice soul feel to it, with those orchestral arrangements filling out what has been mostly barebones music up to now. Not entirely sure though how you can chase something that doesn't move, but however. Yeah I would have to say I don't really like her voice personally.  Ironically, as JJ pointed out, one of the better tracks here is that Dylan cover. The last track is really nice. I think I can pick three really good tracks out of the twelve, these being "Chasing Pavements", the Dylan cover "Make You Feel My Love" and this closing one, "Hometown Glory", but for me that's not a good enough return. An all right album, but not a fucking revelation in any way. Good for a 19-year old I guess, but nah, don't get it.

[jimmy jazz]

@Trollheart sorry to bring the annoying bastard up again but I just said to Mother Jazz, do you like Daniel O'Donnell (she's in the demographic of his fans)

Mom: Not really
Me: What do you think of his music or him, give me your thoughts
Mom: Not much. Why? Is he coming round for tea?

She hasn't seen the Father Ted spoof 

[Trollheart]

@Trollheart sorry to bring the annoying bastard up again but I just said to Mother Jazz, do you like Daniel O'Donnell (she's in the demographic of his fans)

Mom: Not really
Me: What do you think of his music or him, give me your thoughts
Mom: Not much. Why? Is he coming round for tea?

She hasn't seen the Father Ted spoof 

Here; you'll love this. It's really him, so I suppose fair play to him for allowing the piss to be taken out of himself.

[Trollheart]

Seems she only has the four albums, so I guess we may as well listen to all four. On we go then.


21 Year: 2011

All right, does "Rolling in the Deep" not sound a little similar to Moby's "Natural Blues"? No? Just me then. Fair enough. I'm not saying it's the same song by any means, but that's what came to mind the moment I heard it. Well you can hear the progression here, from a fairly basic (mostly) acoustic-style folky debut to a fuller, more mature (at 21!) second album, so has she dropped the acoustic folk elements? Much better use of piano melodies this time around, and so far I'd have to say it's impressed me far more than the debut did. Just as I say that, of course, we get an acoustic folky tune, but even so, it sounds okay. Yeah, a much more mature album, bringing in influences from gospel and blues, and sounding a lot more together. Could probably do without the Cure cover, as this time I don't think the album needs it, but I really can't find anything here I don't like, which is a massive improvement on the debut.

I can see what they mean about the "anti-Lady Gaga" idea and the reverse of style over substance, as the songs are all very well written and sung, and the music is far fuller than on her debut album, as I guess she finds her feet, so maybe there's some truth in that claim about her revitalising pop music, but I still don't buy that. A much better album, certainly, but surely if its real legacy is that it was so different to what was being churned out at the time, that's more an indictment on pop music rather than laying the mantle on her shoulders, no? Can't deny it's a pretty excellent album though. And I won't. Can't say I'm a fan yet but this has certainly shifted my perspective, in a good way.

[Trollheart]

25 -Year: 2015

Flash forward four years, what have we got? If the previous album was what she called a break-up one, this, apparently, is a make-up one, though presumably not with the same guy. And if it is, I don't care. That's not what I'm here to find out. It says this album uses more electronica and programmed beats, which I have to admit doesn't encourage me, but let's see. Nice ballad to start off, then it kicks up a little but it's interesting to see how Adele has managed her three albums so far, with the first being (I guess) a kind of wide-eyed innocence, falling in love and all the discovery of her youth, then the second, as mentioned, focusing on her break-up and, if you will, the death of dreams of innocence, while this is a look back and a kind of "what did I know back then?" idea. In contrast to Taylor Swift (who's up next - no, I'm asking... forget it) who seems, from what I read, to use her songs to taunt and do down her ex-boyfriends, Adele seems to be more mature and forgiving. Maybe.

Sense of "In the Air Tonight" in "I Miss You", at least in the drum pattern, but like Taylor (I assume) is this not primarily music for women? Like, it's very good and all, but I can't quite see myself sitting listening to it as I imagine millions of girls and women did, and do. Spokeswoman for her generation, maybe. Future of music? Well no, it wouldn't be for me. Very good at what she does certainly, and a lot of other, more "fluff" artists could probably learn from her. If you enjoy this sort of thing, great. I'd say, in fairness, I could listen to this if I was in the right mood, but I don't see myself spinning it very often. I mean, I like my ballads as you know, but this album doesn't seem to change pace much at all. With the exception of "Send My Love (To Your New Lover)", "Water Under the Bridge", and "River Lea" (sounds like a Corkwoman, boy! ) this is basically an album of ballads and love songs.

Interesting to read how Adele had decided to give up music after 21, then when she tried to write for this album, how hard it was for her. I guess you'd say, given the fact that much of it is informed by the birth of her first child, that it's a real labour of love. "Million Years Ago" has a very Carpenters feel to it, and the melody is very familiar. I see there are court cases in train regarding plagiarism, but none of them are the song I'm thinking of. It's one of those old forties or fifties Bing Crosby/Sinatra-style tunes, I'm sure. Yes, overall it's very good, though I still prefer the second album, but even so, it's quite definitely music for the Misses, so to speak.

[Trollheart]

30 Year: 2021

And so we end on her, so far, most recent album, with at this point, eleven years of the music business under her belt, and herself now heading into her third decade on the planet. Each of her albums have shown a sense of growth, maturity and learning, so is this likely to continue that trend? I'd imagine the smart money says yes. Is it likely to again be a collection of ballads and break-up/make-up songs? Paddy Power will not give you very high odds against. The theme of this one seems to be her divorce, and how that affected her son. Okay. Not dancing in clubs or riding with biker gangs, then! Immediately apparent is the influence of organs, and the one song I do know, "Easy On Me", is on this album. It's the one that made me shrug and think yeah it's okay. Mind you, it does still come across, as I said when I reviewed it originally, as a case of "this was everyone else's fault not mine."

I would ask, having heard three albums now and on the fourth, is it not time this woman stopped moaning though? I really don't hear many songs expressing any real kind of joy, letting go or just having a good time, and while I'm not one, as you know, to espouse "empty" lyrics such as tended to characterise disco, where the idea was get on the floor and dance, have a good time, there is only so much bloody sad soul-searching I can take, and I think I'm reaching my limit. The addition of her fucking child on the tracks also pisses me off, as I think nobody who knows me will be surprised to hear. I don't particularly like spoken word on tracks, but I really hate it when it's children. Keep them off the album. Doesn't Adele read the label? Keep away from children. Good advice; I always do. I mean, half of "My Little Love" is her sniffling into a hankie and wittering on about how hard her life is. She's one of the richest fucking young (sic) people on the planet, for fuck's sake! Where's the "Every Day We Lit" here? I can cry: I have nothing. I'm afraid I gots no sympathies for ya lady. Cry all the way to the bank, huh? :rolleyes:

At least "Cry Your Heart Out", instead of being another self-indulgent weepy ballad, is a relatively uptempo motown style soul song, but for me now, it's getting a little hard to take her seriously. Sure, you can say we've been with her for eleven years of her life, from teenager taking, as it were, her first steps in the real world to, now, a woman broken by her divorce and trying to find meaning she can impart behind that to her son, but, um, what's the word? Oh yeah: enough! Give us a dance song, a getting drunk song, a cruising-along-with-the-top-down song - fucking anything other than sad, reflective, soul-searching self-pity. It's wearing wafer thin now. Got to move on.

Ok, "Oh My God" keeps the tempo up and while the lyrical matter is still self-serving and indulgent, it's something you can dance to (not me: you don't want to see me dance, take my word for it!) while the acoustic songs are back with "Can I Get It", oddly, perhaps conversely, the first of her songs I really have not liked. Just annoys me; sounds very ordinary and formulaic, which kind of invalidates what I just said earlier. Oh well. That's soon forgotten when we get to "I Drink Wine", which I have to admit I was kind of dreading, given that it says it was cut down from a 15-minute version, but it's damned good, a real gospel/blues/soul hybrid with a pretty challenging lyric, wherein she seeks to sort her life out, or, as she says herself, get over herself.

Without meaning to be racist, she sounds a lot blacker on this album, so much so that had I not known who she was I would have pictured her as an entirely different woman. She also has both her longest and shortest songs on this one, with "All Night Parking" missing the three-minute mark, and both the last two just short of seven. The last track, "Love is a Game" is a great way to wrap the album up, but I'd still say 21 is the only one I would be bothered listening to again, if I should do that. Some great tracks here, but some fairly weak ones too.

[Trollheart]

So again, what's the verdict? Well, I can't in fairness deny she's one hell of a singer and a very good songwriter, and I guess like some stars it's not her fault that she's been labelled as she has, carrying the "musical hopes of a generation", or whatever you're having yourself. Unlike Sheeran, she doesn't, from what I read, revel in her fame or feel herself above others, and does seem quite genuine. I couldn't honestly say I love her now, but I can honestly say I don't hate her. In fact, I imagine the odd time when I'm in the right mood I might listen to 21, though the rest of her music would be a specially picked playlist - I don't see myself listening to any of the other albums all the way through again. I still don't see how it is that she's seen to have changed music for the twenty-first century, or why her new albums are seen as a "global cultural event" - I mean, to use a technical term which you may have to look up if you're not a writer, that's pure bollocks.

Certainly I can see how she veered the general direction of - some! - pop music away from the more throwaway paths taken by I guess Kylie, Charlie XCX and Lady Gaga, and could probably be said to write music for the thinking woman (let's be under no illusions here: I'm sure she has her male fans, but the bulk have got to be female), but like the launch of the iPhone 20 or whatever, I don't feel I've missed out by not queueing for it all night or breathlessly awaiting its release. I mean, hyperbole aside, it's just music isn't it? Let's not get too bloody messianic here. Damn critics. Anyway, to answer my own question, no, she's not going on the list. Can't really love music like this, but equally I can't hate it. Or her.