A Kick Through The 80s

[Suburban Placeholder?]

So here's a thing.

Back when I was a kid every Sunday night the TV would be switched off and our family would sit in the living room around our old Grundig radiogram (A kind of radio/record player in the style of a Victorian cabinet, very much like the one in the picture for all you millennials) where we would all listen and give our opinions on that weeks top 40 chart rundown.

As things progressed, in the early 80s we finally ditched the old radiogram and bought a brand new modern Hi-Fi system .....WITH A TAPE DECK!!!!!

And not only could you listen to tapes you could record songs you liked off the radio ..... utter madness.

As I was in charge of the radio when we bought the Hi-Fi my Dad gave me something else. Three C90 blank cassettes to record all of my favourite songs, no doubt influencing their decision to buy me a cheap knock off Walkman that Christmas where the battery life was around 20 minutes.

These were the very beginnings of my musical journey.

Fast forward to the present day (Well, about 18 months ago)  I'm on holiday from work, I've just treated myself to a Spotify premium account and I'm trying to think up some playlists. Then I hit upon an idea. Why don't I go to the official UK chart site, go through each week and just add the new entries into the charts for that week into the playlist and do one for each month?

So I figure I'll start this off by doing the 1980s as it's really the decade where it all started for me. So after doing these playlists off and on over the past few months I'm now up to mid 1984, each month taking about an hour to compile with between 40 and 60 songs each month. Then a couple of weeks ago I thought to myself "hmmm, I should journal this somewhere."

And here we are. A week by week look at each of all the entries coming into into the singles chart. As of 1980 the charts were a top 75 , when we get to 1983 that will expand to the top 100. I would say about 90% of them are on Spotify but the other 10% I may have to resort to other methods. If I can't find something I'll just list it.

Is this a massive undertaking, well yes. It'll be at least 510 entries minimum but I do have an advantage. I have a 43 year head start I reckon I know at least 60-70% of this stuff already. I think it'll be interesting to see the difference in perception of who we think of as being the big acts in the 80s as we do today, and compare it to what the reality of what people were buying back then actually was.

Enough talking , let's boogie.

[Suburban Placeholder?]

January 6th 1980 - January 12th 1980
At No.1 : Pink Floyd - Another Brick In The Wall


Highest New Entry : Joe Jackson - It's Different For Girls (No.50)

Very slim pickings this week. Only 4 songs enter the charts, I mean, obviously nobody would be stupid enough to release a song on Christmas week would they?
Well apparently four of them did.
Well, we have a stone cold classic jam to start us off with Joe Jackson's ultra cool It's Different For Girls off his fantastic Look Sharp album. Definitely recommended.

In at No. 63 we have a now Michael Schenker-less U.F.O. with Young Blood. A fairly decent track off their highly underrated No Place To Run album. Not sure why it was picked as a single (Should have picked Lettin' Go boys much better song).

At No. 65 we have Jazz Carnival by Azymuth. A Brazilian jazz-funk band who I know nothing about except they look like a couple of South American drug lords formed a band with an English teacher.

Oh and by the way, this song is 9 MINUTES LONG. Surely there must be a single edit somewhere. Oh there is 4 minutes long , thank God.

Actually it's not that bad,I can handle the 9 minute version it's pretty funky although I do get the feeling I should be staring at this picture while I listen to it.


The final new entry to this week's chart at No. 72 is Escape (The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes.
Do I like Pina Colada's?

No I don't, so fuck off.

[Lexi Darling]

I love pina coladas. In the past I would never think to have them all that regularly and the one positive thing about hearing that wretched song was that it reminded me of how much I liked them.

I don't drink anymore, therefore the song has no more reason to exist in my life and I will happily support it being purged in the flames of Tartarus.

[Guybrush]

What a great idea for a journal! And yes, I too like piña coladas but am a boring teetotal and that song can go fuck itself.

That English teacher and a couple of drug lords description is pretty spot on 😄

Looking forward to seeing what comes up next!

[Suburban Placeholder?]

Anybody reading this now has that song in their heads.

I'm sorry

 

[Nimbly9]

I'm a yacht rock guy to the core and even I hate Rupert Holmes.  He's just a bad knockoff of Stephen Bishop (who is pretty underrated now that I think about it).

[Suburban Placeholder?]

Now that the Christmas rush is over and I'm not working insane hours I can devote my time again to sitting on my arse listening to music and taking the piss out of it with a couple of cases of blood orange cider close to hand ....lovely.

January 13th 1980 - January 20th 1980
At No.1 : The Pretenders - Brass In Pocket

13 new entries into the charts this week, so plenty to sink our teeth into so let's get started


Highest New Entry - No. 41 : Kool And The Gang - Too Hot
Not really a ballad, more smooth gentle funk. I question the logic of releasing this song at the beginning of January as it has SUMMER GROOVE written all over it in big flashing neon letters. But when you realise that the song they did release off the album first in the summer was Ladies Night, one of their biggest ever hits you can see why this didn't come first.

No. 44 : Prince - I Wanna Be Your Lover
Confession Time, I adore the first four Prince albums, and later this year (1980 not 2023) he will release my all-time favourite album of his in 'Dirty Mind'. This song is off his S/T second album. In a time when funk bands seemed to consist of 10 or more members I love Prince's stripped back minimalist funk. Almost similarly that synth pop was stripping back pop music, Prince was doing almost the same thing to funk in a way that makes the music sounds very fresh and in tune with that era. this song is very typical of early Prince, Lots of synths and high pitched squeals.
Love it.

No. 47 : Sister Sledge - Got To Love Somebody
Got to write another tune more like, this is We Are Family with different lyrics no matter how bad the sax player tries his damnedness to save it.

No. 50 : Matchbox - BuzzBuzz A Diddle It
In the late 70s there seemed to be this sort of 50s Rockabilly revival with bands dressing up as 50s Teddy Boys (My Dad was a Teddy Boy in his teen years). On the cooler end of the spectrum you had elements of The Clash as well as The Cramps and Brian Setzer and the Stray Cats, and then on the BBC light entertainment end of the spectrum you had Showaddywaddy with their colour co-ordinated zoot suits.
I was actually expecting Matchbox to be closer to the Showaddywaddy end but this is actually pretty good. Not that far removed from the whole Pyschobilly thing that would happen a bit later.

No. 52 : New Musik - Living By Numbers
Never heard of this lot despite owning nearly every single synth pop / new wave compilation out there being of that era AND actively searching out this stuff for a good 25 years. Which is odd really because they seem to be quite a big deal in thier native Australia. The song itself is pretty catchy and is about typical 80s George Orwell paranoia about everybody being a number rather than a name. I've seen them described as folk/new wave which shouldn't work but does.
This is alright.

No. 53: Sad Cafe - Strange Little Girl
I HATED this band when I was a kid.
Whenever they appeared on Top Of The Pops that meant it was time to grab a drink or some food, or go on a bathroom break. I just found them DULL.
It didn't help that they always seemed to be introduced on the show by people like Simon Bates or Dave Lee Travis, the uncoolest of the DJ's on Radio 1's roster at the time. Almost like The Anti-John Peel or Anti-Annie Nightingale plaguing the nation with tepid Dad Rock.
It came as no shock to me then that lead singer Paul Young (Not that one) went on to join Mike & The Mechanics, a band who bored the shit out of me during my teenage years.
So you would expect me to hate this.........
Welllllllll

It's pretty fucking great actually. Young has a very Jagger-ish vibe about him. There's this great ominous bassline with chellos and strings helping it along the way with a short sharp jagged riff punctuating the song giving it a great edge to it. It kind of sounds like Jagger fronting a band who can't decide if they are Roxy Music or The Auteurs and that's pretty fucking awesome if you are me.
So I say to Paul Young (Who died very young in 2000 at the age of 53)
I am so so so sorry, forgive me?

Highlight of the week.

No. 54 : The Commodores - Wonderland
To me songs by The Commodores end up in either of two catagories. 'Brick House' and 'Smaltzy Crap'
This isn't a 'Brick House'

No. 57 : Herb Alpert - Rotation
Jazz with Synths?
No thanks.
The best thing I can find to say about this is it sounds like should be the title track from some late night detective show. But not one of the good themes like Miami Vice or The Equalizer, one of those generic ones.

No. 58 : Amii Stewart - Paradise Bird / The Letter
One of my biggest pet hates in music is R&B from the 80s onwards. All the grit and the rawness from the 60s & 70s has been lost replaced by boring ultra cleaned up slickness and it's so boring to listen to. At 6:33 Paradise Bird is a chore to sit through. Amii has a pretty nice voice but there's nothing here.
Thankfully this is a double 'A' side and we have a second song to save it.
That song is 'The Letter' and yes it's a funked up version of The Box Tops song, and as a card carrying member of the Alex Chilton fanboys club it's my duty to find it pretty fucking great, and Amii seems like she's having fun with it too.

No. 61 : Billy Ocean - Are You Ready
I was expecting a dull ballad but this is a pretty decent slab of Funk/Disco.
You'll forget it 10 minutes after you heard it, but for the 4:28 you're listening to it you'll be shaking those hips.

No. 64 : Suzi Quatro - Mama's Boy
Fuck off Joan Jett, The REAL Queen is in town.
Sure it's not the wonderful glam rock stomps of her heyday but this is pretty decent.
If Suzi wasn't so associated with being a 'Rock' Artist you could almost call this Power pop.
Another song I liked more than I was expecting.

No. 70 : Dexy's Midnight Runners - Dance Stance
I have a whole big entry about Dexy's Midnight Runners where I'm going to get on my soapbox and preach and try to convert people (I.E. Amercians) to this band. But I'm saving that for the entry for 'Come On Eileen'. So you'll have to wait.
So what about this song?
Well all you need to know is this is a song off their debut album 'Searching for the Young Soul Rebels'. A magnificent blend of New Wave, Punk, Ska, Funk and Northern Soul that deserves a much bigger audience (*cough* Americans).
And the irony is this is probably the worst single off it and it's still bloody great.

One hit wonders?
Fuck off !!!

No. 75 :  Barbara Dickson & Mike Batt - Caravan Song
This is the theme song to a movie of the same name about kidnappings and gun runners set in the middle east in the late 40s starring Anthony Quinn and Christopher Lee so I may well have to take a look at that.
Why am I talking about the movie?
Because it's a damned sight better than the turd of a song I'm currently listening to.

The only way you could get me to actually listen to this song again is to play it over a medley of clips from Top Gear of them destroying caravans.

Well that was fun, stay tuned for next week........

[Lexi Darling]

I'll have to come back to this later to read the rest, but I do want to say that Dirty Mind is my favorite Prince album too!

I think that album is the purest distillation of his early stripped down synthfunk style, only 30 minutes but none of them wasted.

[Suburban Placeholder?]

Sometimes I wonder how he would have sounded had Purple Rain not been such a massive success.
Kind of like indie Prince on a budget type thing.

[Nimbly9]

No. 57 : Herb Alpert - Rotation
Jazz with Synths?
No thanks.
The best thing I can find to say about this is it sounds like should be the title track from some late night detective show. But not one of the good themes like Miami Vice or The Equalizer, one of those generic ones.

'Rotation' and 'Rise' both got sampled like crazy in the hip-hop/rap world for awhile.  They know their smooth grooves when they hear 'em.

[Guybrush]

Thanks for the write up, @Suburban Placeholder?

I listened to your mentions and there's quite a few ones for me, like Matchbox and New Music.

Otherwise, besides Brass in Pocket being a classic, I think I enjoyed Prince the most and it was nice to be reminded of Suzi Quattro again. Is she the one who became a chainsaw artist?

I also didn't care much for Rotation.

[Suburban Placeholder?]

it was nice to be reminded of Suzi Quattro again. Is she the one who became a chainsaw artist?

Now that would be interesting.

She went on to do television, she played The Fonz girlfriend in Happy Days.
These days she does loads of musical theatre and the occasional solo tour, She's still got a massive following in the UK & Australia

She also gave Alice Cooper a black eye.

[Guybrush]

Now that would be interesting.

She went on to do television, she played The Fonz girlfriend in Happy Days.
These days she does loads of musical theatre and the occasional solo tour, She's still got a massive following in the UK & Australia

She also gave Alice Cooper a black eye.

The chainsaw artist is Cherie Currie 😄 not sure why I got those lines crossed.

[Suburban Placeholder?]

20th January 1980 - 26th January 1980
At No. 1 : The Pretenders - Brass In Pocket

Another 13 songs this week so let's go.


Highest New Entry - No. 15 : The Specials - Too Much Too Young E.P.
YESSS!!!!!!!!!
The highest new entry this week is an E.P. that had a massive effect on me as a kid. This was a part of the famous singles box that I have talked about in the past, where sometime in late 1983/ Early 1984 my father found a box of 7" singles in the park while at work one day. After nobody claimed it it was given to him, which he then gave to me. It was full of Ska, New Wave, Punk and post punk records. Through that box I discovered The Tubes, X Ray Spex, Sex Pistols, P.I.L., The Damned and many others. The three Ska bands in the box I had already heard of, Madness, Bad Manners and The Specials, not only had I heard of them but I also owned records by all three. This E.P. was the first record in the box I gravitated towards and, Christ I must have played that thing to death.
The whole thing crackles with energy and sounds like a band at their peak. With 5 songs (OK, 2 songs and a medley) that barely last just over 2 minutes each, the whole thing just hits you like a sledgehammer and then just leaves you lying there. Usually as a kid when I would listen to this there would be eleven minutes of frantic jumping around the room, followed by collapsing on the bed to get my breath back when it was all over.
It also has the greatest version of the theme tune to The Guns Of Navarone you will ever hear.
Just glorious, THIS is what a live recording should sound like.

No. 33 : Kenny Rogers - Coward Of The County
Well, Damn. That was a bit of a come-down.
Actually, I'm being a little unfair. I used to love songs that were stories when I was a kid, and so did the British public as it only seemed like country songs like these would do well in the charts.
I used to love to sit up late and watch the folk musician Mike Harding's BBC show even though I knew nothing about folk music at the time because he would tell jokes in between playing songs that had stories in them. You also had Billy Connelly and Jasper Carrott playing the odd folk song in their stand up shows which I would watch avidly also. Folk music and Country seemed to be the best type of music for this type of thing which is why I would listen to them back then and it wasn't until quite recently I appreciated the talent behind it.
And let's be honest, at least it's not modern country.

No. 45 : The Boomtown Rats- Someone's Looking At You
Is there a single celebrity that has more fame for so little work than Bob Geldof?
For a guy who's music was relevant for about 6 months in 1979 he somehow still manages to be a widely know figure in the world of entertainment, obviously because of Live Aid. But almost 40 years later?
I remember seeing him performing one of his solo songs on some chat show in the early 90s and being surprised that such a high profile figure could release something so boring, as I wondered to myself 'Who buys this shit'? I mean Sting takes a lot of shit but at least he wrote An Englishman In New York.
I'm not a huge Boomtown Rats fan, I know about 3 or 4 singles and that's it. I looked at the chronology and all those songs I had heard were before this one. In fact I looked at all their singles released between this one and their break up in 1986 and didn't recognise a single song.
I remember watching a documentary about Live Aid, on hearing that Bob wanted The Boomtown Rats to play the show the legendary promotor Harvey Goldsmith replied something along the lines of "Why? He's not had a hit in 5 years".
As for this song, It's OK but all it does is make you want to hear the other hits instead, The decline starts here.

No. 49 : Jefferson Starship - Jane
If you had told me this was Toto, I would have 100% believed you.

No. 54 : Buggles - The Plastic Age
Speaking of one hit wonders in my last entry here we have a genuine one.
This isn't as catchy as Video Killed The Radio Star but it is better. There's a kind of dark brooding background with tons of hooks over the top of it that'll you'll be humming for days. Also the video is basically a batshit insane mash up of early 80 special effects and some kids art school project that's well worth a watch. I have no idea what's going on. At one point Trevor Horn is singing inside a woman painted up like a telephone box.
Awesome stuff.

No. 60 : The Ramones - Baby I Love You
Phil Spector and The Ramones were made to work with each other. End Of The Century is the best Ramones album and this single is awesome.
And I'll fight you on that.

No. 63 : The Shadows - Riders In The Sky
My Father's favourite band.
I respect them more than I like them. Hank Marvin was Britain's first guitar hero in the late 50s and each of their songs is dominated by his 'Twang' sound, and they have made plenty of bangers in their time.
Why they decided to release a disco version of a country song dating back to 1948, that Johnny Cash had released his own version just a year earlier (And played live On The Muppet Show, go watch the video ....now!) seems very odd, and it doesn't work either.
Think of this song as Cotton-Eyed Joe's more serious Dad.

No. 67 : John Foxx - Underpass
I think about 15 years ago I had a discussion on MusicBanter about this guy where I told someone I'd never heard any of John Foxx's stuff that he did with Ultravox, but I was going to. (He was their original singer)
Well I've still not got around to hearing anything .... Oh Well.
As for the song it's like if Kraftwerk's Autobahn had a shorter seedier nihilistic younger brother.

No. 68 : Brass Construction - Music Makes You Feel Like Dancing
It's a disco song, It has a cool bassline , blasts of horns and strings. people go "OW" a lot, things that sound like samples from early video games. Just like pretty much every other disco song around this time.
Is it bad?
Hell no!

No. 70 : Barclay James Harvest - Love On The Line
Every time I see this bands name it just fills me with rage and I have no idea why. Yes, they sound like a firm of solicitors but my hatred shouldn't be this viceral just for that. After hearing this song my overriding impression is if you took all the most boring bits of Pink Floyd, Supertramp & Steely Dan and stuck it in a blender you'd end up with this garbage.

No. 71 : Revillos - Motorbike Beat
Well, someone has been listening to The B52s

No. 72 : Stevie Wonder - Black Orchid
The road to 'I Just Called To Say I Love You' starts here. What happened Stevie?

No. 75 : Captain Beaky - Captain Beaky /  Wilfred The Weasel
I remember getting a Captain Beaky book at a Christmas party at school possibly around this time.
I remembered him being an Owl for some reason, turns out he's some kind of hybrid Seagull / Chicken thing.
It was the brainchild of writer Jimmy Perry (Writer of Are You Being Served, Dad's Army, Allo Allo etc etc.......) and actor Keith Michell who was the illustrator and narrator of this 'song'
It's still better than the Barclay James Harvest song.
Ha!

[Lexi Darling]

John Foxx's Metamatic is fantastic if you're into cold, futuristic synthpop.

1980-82 or so is my favorite part of the 80s for synthpop, after that it felt like all the cornballs jumped on it and it led to a lot of really dated stuff IMO.