Annoying things people say?

[Trollheart]

One of my favourites that kind of illustrates that:

American tourist, looking at cottage: "Oh, ain't it quaint?"
Englishman: "You do not say ain't, you say isn't."
American: "Oh. Isn't it quisn't?"
 

Or there's the travel agent:
"It's not pronounced Maj-orca, it's May-orca."
"Oh. Okay. Then I'd like a holiday in Yune or Yuly please."

[Janszoon]

One of my favourites that kind of illustrates that:

American tourist, looking at cottage: "Oh, ain't it quaint?"
Englishman: "You do not say ain't, you say isn't."
American: "Oh. Isn't it quisn't?"
 

Or there's the travel agent:
"It's not pronounced Maj-orca, it's May-orca."
"Oh. Okay. Then I'd like a holiday in Yune or Yuly please."

*throws tomato*

[Lexi Darling]

"I'm a workaholic". Oh, so you're addicted to workahol?

[robhr]

"I'm a workaholic". Oh, so you're addicted to workahol?

Yeah the whole ____aholic thing bugs me.

[Trollheart]

Damn right! It's alcohol-ic, so at best it should be a workalic, although that does sound like someone who's a little too up the boss, don't it? Chocalic? Eh, even worse. Besides, who isn't addicted to workahol? It's a very serious problem and I'll thank you not to be trivialising it, or I may have to report you to Workaholics Anonymous. Anonymously, of course.

[jadis]

https://twitter.com/ChristinaUnkel/status/1645501810545754112

[Janszoon]

https://twitter.com/ChristinaUnkel/status/1645501810545754112

I'm confused.

[jadis]

"Things you love to see" is an annoying thing people say on Twitter. Why pick on this tweet specifically? See the soccerball thread

[Janszoon]

"Things you love to see" is an annoying thing people say on Twitter. Why pick on this tweet specifically? See the soccerball thread

Goddamn, you're going to make me read about sports?

Edit: I just skimmed the last few posts and still have no idea what this is about.

[Lisnaholic]

When I was a kid I once attempted to correct the Christian kids' grammar by saying it was "He HAS risen" rather than "He IS risen." I thought I was so smart but I also wanted to get back at them for their terrible bagel jokes toward me, lol.

Good one! "He is risen" sounds ugly to me. It seems like the speaker is, for some unclear reason, deliberately rejecting ordinary, correct grammar.
Oddly enough, I am reminded of someone in a completely different context doing something similar: in a uk soap opera, a hard-headed Englishwoman, uncomfortable about being sentimental, tells her friend, "We is mates". It's as if the deliberately incorrect grammar is a cloak to hide her embarrassment. Maybe that's a UK thing.

"God only knows" is a long established idiom though, it's not like The Beach Boys came up with it.

Yeah, "God only knows" has been around so long that it sounds perfectly natural regardless of any strict grammatical interpretation. And its familiarity is partly what makes Brian Wilson's song so good: he's turning everyday speech into music.

"I'm a workaholic". Oh, so you're addicted to workahol?

Yeah the whole ____aholic thing bugs me.

As you'll guess from my username, this is such a widespread formulation that I have no problem with it.

My opinion: I usually like decent grammar, but I try to avoid the trap of knowledge making me too picky - like those people who discover the right way to use hoi polloi and then call out anyone who says "the hoi polloi".

[jimmy jazz]

I am reminded of someone in a completely different context doing something similar: in a uk soap opera, a hard-headed Englishwoman, uncomfortable about being sentimental, tells her friend, "We is mates". It's as if the deliberately incorrect grammar is a cloak to hide her embarrassment. Maybe that's a UK thing.

[Trollheart]

The only interpretation I can put on "He is risen" is that it's supposed to be not an event that happened but an ongoing one, he "has" risen refers to an event that took place and is now over, and the Church wants you to see Jesus as an eternal, omnipresent thing, so they use he "is" risen as a way to say, he will always have risen. He rose today, he rose yesterday, he'll rise tomorrow. But not on Wednesdays; that's his day off.

Yeah it is silly. Another, to pick up on Lisna's "Working class English grammar" thing that annoys me is when they say "sat" when they mean "seated". That guy is sat behind the other one. There I was, sat in the front row. NO! Use seated or sitting. Sat is - I'm not great at the actual grammar terms, but it's some sort of past particle or something, maybe like a quasar or a pulsar or a black hole, (?) something that has taken place. You don't constantly sit; you sit once and it's over till you stand up. So I sat down, and while I was sitting there this happened, not I sat down and while I was sat there this happened.

Grrrr!

Oh, and going back to the Church: "He is Lord, He is Lord, He is risen from the dead and He is Lord. Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess..."

Knees don't bow. It should have been every knee shall bend. Idiots.

[Janszoon]

Knees don't bow. It should have been every knee shall bend. Idiots.

Maybe they have rickets. 

Also on the religious front, one that bugs me is "God bless America" (or wherever). People say it all the time, but what does it mean? It reads like a request (i.e. "God, would you please bless America?"), but no one says it like it's a request. It's always said like it's some sort of declaration, but if that's what it's supposed to be, why isn't it "God has blessed America"?

[Lisnaholic]

Another one they have a problem with, according to my brother, is "your man". I don't know if you use it, but over here we say "your man" to indicate a third party not connected with us, eg "Look at your man over there" or "The state of your man". These Americans (Boston I believe) could not understand.

There's something about the way "your man" is used in Ireland that I really like. I've heard it a few times in The Derry Girls sitcom.
Another phrase I really like from Ireland is something I read in a book by Brian Moore, when a landlord threatens an unruly tenant with eviction, "You'll be out, Miss Hearne. Bag and baggage." Brilliant!

Also on the religious front, one that bugs me is "God bless America" (or wherever). People say it all the time, but what does it mean? It reads like a request (i.e. "God, would you please bless America?"), but no one says it like it's a request. It's always said like it's some sort of declaration, but if that's what it's supposed to be, why isn't it "God has blessed America"?

Good one! It also isn't "God blesses America." In fact, it's actually an unusual bit of grammar called The Subjunctive, which is used to express wishes or hopes, but these days is mainly in old-fashioned set phrases only: Heaven help us! God save the King.
It's used in a few other places, but it's a difficult bit of grammar to notice: you have to look for the S that isn't there on the verb: Mary ignored the doctor's suggestion that she get more exercise.

[Guybrush]

Since I don't hear much spoken english (except from the telly), I hope you'll forgive me for venturing into the world of writing.

In text, it annoys me when I read my old posts and see I've written "it's" when it should've been "its". It still happens, but now it's mostly due to autocorrect and not me being an imbecile.