Bigger, Badder, Balder: Revisiting Star Trek: The Next Generation

[Trollheart]

And so on to the chart. Any major changes? Well, yes..

The biggest one is a stunning climb for Wesley Crusher, who leaps a full six places and, perhaps rather rudely and ungratefully, and in a move which might earn him a clip on the ear, pushes his mother down one place. Wesley is now at number 3, one of only four characters to have broken the 100 point mark at this stage.

But one's rise invariably means the fall of others, and apart from the woman who bore him (as he bores all of us, sorry) Wesley also displaces his captain, who falls one place to number 6, Data, Q, Geordi and Deanna, who all fall one place as well, and even poor old Worf drops a place to number 9. Miles O'Brien, still without a name, miserably props up the table at number 10, how appropriate for an Irishman! Someone wake him up: it's chucking out time!

This, interestingly, gives Yar her fourth week, as it were, at the top: she's been there since "The Naked Now" and has retained that position through "Code of Honor", "The Last Outpost" and now "Where No One Has Gone Before."And she's not even here anymore! In fact, the only one likely to catch her is Riker, and he's a good 70 points behind her. Could be there for a little while...

[Trollheart]

Episode title: "Lonely Among Us"
Season: 1
Importance: 1 (mostly for Data's interest in Sherlock Holmes)
Crisis point(s) if any: Picard leaves the ship to become a being of pure energy. Sorry, a BALD being of pure energy.
Original transmission date: November 2 1987
Writer(s): Michael Halperin (teleplay by D.C. Fontana)
Director: Cliff Bole
Stardate:* 41249.3
Destination: Parliament
Mission (if any): Deliver delegates of two warring nations to a conference
Main character(s) in Plot:  Picard
Main character(s) in Subplot (if any): Riker, Data
Not appearing:
Villain/Monster (if any): Alien intelligence
Deaths: 1
Lives saved (episode): 1 (Picard)
Lives saved (cumulative): 3
Locations:

Shipboard:
Transporter Room
Bridge
SIckbay
Engineering
Beverly's Quarters
Outside the quarters assigned to the Antican
Observation Lounge
Ready Room


Space:
Energy cloud

Other:


Ships/vessels: 0
Space battles: 0
Bodycount
0
Historical
0
Incidental
1 :Assistant Engineer Singh

Direct
0
Total: 1
Running total: 84
Make it so: 0
Engage! 0
Combat factor: 0
Planets visited: 0
Planets mentioned: Parliament
Mysteries: Presence of alien intelligence on the ship
Patients in sickbay:1 (Worf)
Data v Humanity: Data falls under the spell of Sherlock Holmes, an obsession that will grow.
Data 1 - Humanity 3
Character scores:
Picard 10
Riker 10
Troi 20
Bev 10
Geordi 10
Data 45
Worf 10
Wesley 10
Yar 10
O'Brien 10
Earl Grey: 0
Shuttlecraft: 0
Admirals: 0
Starbases: 0
First contact: Alien cloudy intelligence thing
Humour: 4
Episode rating: 5/10
Episode score: 290

After the pretty great "Where No One Has Gone Before" it was probably unlikely they'd get another episode as good, and no they don't, but it's close. Basically though it's pretty much the TOS episode "Journey to Babel" rewritten: same idea; delegates being ferried to a conference and the Enterprise crew have to keep them apart. But the subplot about the alien intelligence is good, though I see it having been lifted later for the Babylon 5 episode "All Alone in the Night", which is kind of odd, as the title is somewhat similar. Hey! Doesn't Beverly look like a Borg when she examines Worf in sickbay? Don't tell Picard! Why, when the alien leaves her and she finds herself, to her surprise, on the bridge, with no idea how she got there, does she not report it? Surely this is odd to her, and she should report any such weirdness to Picard? But she just smiles and goes back to her quarters.


"Resistance is futile! You will be assimilated!"
(Come on: the caption writes itself!)

As things begin to break down, Picard is most upset when Data tells him subspace radio is out. Surely he can at least get BALD FM? No dice, says Data. This episode is the genesis for Data's ongoing interest in Sherlock Holmes, which produced some great episodes, including holodeck ones. Nice to see Bev out of uniform (stop that!), wearing a pretty red dress. A little too much Wesley for my tastes, but then, a second of Wesley is too much Wesley. The first time Picard is relieved of command (or at least, an attempt is made to do so), and slightly looking back to the terrible series finale of TOS, though Picard refrains from being as brutal as Kirk, and instead just orders Beverly, Riker and Troi to report to sick bay.

"Mom, I'm not Captain Picard: can you please take your hand off my leg?"

[Trollheart]

We're now six episodes in. Four more and I'll begin posting the episode chart, see which is doing better than the others. For now though, here's our sixth character chart, with a few small changes.

Not surprisingly, Yar remains on top and in fact the top three stay the same, while Data's efforts in this episode allow him to nudge Doctor Crusher further down the chart to number 5, while he picks up fourth place, rising three from last episode's position of seventh. This means Geordi has to make room for the doc and slides one to sixth while she takes fifth, pushing Geordi to displace his captain, who falls two places to eighth place as Deanna, a non-mover, remains at seventh. Another non-mover, Worf remains at nine while Q falls to ten, but expect him a resurgence from him soon. O'Brien, still with hardly anything to do and only a few lines, actually falls out of the top ten to become the first character to occupy the eleventh spot.

[Trollheart]

Episode title: "Justice"
Season: 1
Importance: 0
Crisis point(s) if any: Wesley not being put to death, sorry, Wesley being sentenced to death
Original transmission date: November 9 1987
Writer(s): Worley Thorne, Ralph Wills
Director: James L. Conway
Stardate:* 41255.6
Destination: Rubicun III
Mission (if any): None; first contact and then shore leave. Everyone can let their hair down. Um. With one important exception.
Main character(s) in Plot: Wesley
Main character(s) in Subplot (if any): 
Not appearing: O'Brien
Villain/Monster (if any): Big machine orbiting planet. Answers to "God".
Deaths: 0
Lives saved (episode): 1 (Wesley)
Lives saved (cumulative): 4
Locations:

Shipboard:
Bridge
Observation Deck

Space:
Orbit of the planet

Other:
Rubicun III


Ships/vessels: 1 (this "God" thing)
Space battles: 0
Bodycount

Historical
0
Incidental
0
Direct
0
Total: 0
Running total: 84


Make it so: 0
Engage! 0
Combat factor: 0
Planets mentioned:
Mysteries: What is this "God" thing anyway?
Patients in sickbay: 0
Data v humanity: Data operates as a way to exchange information with "god" so
Data 2 - Humanity 3
Character scores:
Picard 0
Riker 25
Troi 15
Bev 10
Geordi 10
Data 10
Worf 15
Wesley 60
Yar 25
O'Brien 0

Earl Grey: 0
Shuttlecraft: 0
Admirals: 0
Starbases: 0
First contact: 2 (The Edo; they shouldn't have bothered. No such thing as a free ride. Literally. Also the god thing)
Humour: 0
Episode rating: 3/10 (It's awful, but I give it some small credit for not taking the easy way out, and having Picard give the Edo the finger. Not like that. It would be... inappropriate.)
Episode score: 155

So do we call this a sexist episode? Well, it's hard to say. It's not like women - or men - are being treated any differently. It's certainly a sexually-charged one, which to some degree makes me wonder how it got through the censor? I mean, sure, there's no nudity (though a lot of flesh is on display) but the overall feeling is one of promiscuity, and in America, and especially on American TV, that's usually a big no-no. Of course, these are the permissive 80s, so maybe. Bush wouldn't spoil everyone's fun by trying to drag the US back into the 1950s for another two years, and Ronnie wasn't too bothered, so maybe. You have to wonder though, would the theme from Benny Hill be out of place here? So much running around in skimpy costumes. Americans wouldn't have got it though. You don't get it, do you? Probably just as well.

I'm sure I didn't think this when I first saw it, but I'm thinking it now, even though I know it's wrong. With everyone so pretty and handsome and vital, what of the older folk? How can they run around and would constant sex not wear them out? Is it possible this is a Logan's Run deal, where people only live to a certain age, so that all are young? I mean, yes, it's not what happened, but it could have been part of the reason why this planet is too good to be true. There's never any worse comment than "It's like Eden", because there's always something slithering through the grass.

"Why can't our God invent the fucking wheel? I swear, if I have to run one more time..."

It's quite funny when the Enterprise is put on high alert because what appears to be a soap bubble has penetrated the ship! When asked by the bubble why they left colonists on the last planet they were on (not that it's any of its fucking business, but anyhow) Picard says the colonists had sought to create a new lifestyle. The bubble could have said "A gay planet? Not in my system, buster!" But sadly, it does not. Oh well. Makes you wonder though what the hell these losers do all day? How can you sit around kissing and fondling and having great sex and you know what that sounds great: where is this planet again? But seriously: how does anything get done? We all remember the similarly named Eloi, don't we? Huh? Huh? 

This idea of the Punishment Zone: weird huh? No signs, no warnings, anywhere could be the Punishment Zone at any time, so nobody breaks any laws in case it just happens that they do so within the PZ. But then, isn't that the elimination of crime due to terror? And how can there be one punishment for everything, that punishment being death? What is the point? To hard-code the idea of never, ever breaking a law into the people? But no matter how law-abiding a society is, people will always break little laws. How many of us have crossed against the traffic light? Smoked in a non-smoking zone? Hopped on a bus without a ticket? Downloaded illegal mat... you know what, let's just gloss over that one. But the fact remains: nobody is totally and 100% lawful all the time. And for the slightest slip, you get death? Sounds more like a society living in fear to me.

"Didn't I  blow you out of my ass a few episodes ago?"

Fair play to Yar! All that time in Starfleet Academy, she sure can recognise a syringe when she sees one! It's hilarious how these mediators are completely taken aback by the fact that anyone would stand up to them. Total wimps. Very annoying Wesley's up-himself announcement "I'm with Starfleet. We don't lie." That is, of course, a lie. Starfleet lie when it suits them, and if they think they're some sort of Supermen, well, nobody need be any the wiser unless they want to be surveying planets out on the Galactic Rim for the rest of their career, right? When Liator says "God is somewhere out there" I keep expecting Linda Ronstadt to start singing, and images of a cartoon mouse to scroll across the screen. When Rivan asks why they don't just take Wesley back with all their superior firepower (well, the Edo have none unless you count those huge bazungas um, never mind) you can see Beverly going hell yeah, why don't you? This is my boy (possibly YOUR boy!) and if you ever want to get within a light year of my action again you'll go in there guns blazing and rescue my kid, or I'll know the reason why!


"Oh, typical man! A blonde cutie shows up and you forget all about me!"

"God" seems pretty pissed off about Picard half-inching his "child". A case of "she's my bird, wanna fight about it?" Picard gives in like the nerd he is. Hell, plenty more blondes in the galaxy, right? Certainly a case here of the needs of the many outweighing the needs of the one, though Picard doesn't see it that way. Funny when Beverly says "Then your god is unfair!" I mean, what god worries about being fair? That's for mortals. You can see though, after having to endure Picard's speech and then listen to Riker add his little bit of sidekick "Yeah" the God-thing surely goes "Oh hell with this. If I have to listen to one more platitude... I'm going for a lie down." Don't blame it.

To give it credit, this is the first TNG episode where Picard really steps up; he tries his best to satisfy the Prime Directive, the guiding principle behind his entire career, but when it comes down to a choice between following Starfleet rules and saving a member of his crew (even if it is only Wesley) - and possibly, more importantly, showing Beverly what a man he is and how he'll protect her (his?) kid, he's ready to throw the rule book out the window. It is quite likely that when he makes his report the brass back home will say "yeah I think he was right to do that. Fuck those promiscuous sexpots and their orbiting god - hold on here: sex at the drop of a what? Hmm. Where does it say that planet was?" Then again, it they re-read it and see it was only Wesley, maybe they'll change their mind and think he should have let him get the death jab.

Overall though, a pretty powerful episode which very easily and effectively swings from nudge-nudge fluff to deadly serious without seeming too abrupt a change. I would have to say, in retrospect, one of the better ones of the early first season. I see nobody, including Wil Wheaton, agree with me. And so I say, fuck all of them.

[Trollheart]

An interesting one this time: despite some gains in terms of points, they all seem to balance out and literally nobody moves. Everyone remains where they were. For those wondering how Picard managed a 0 when he definitely was in the episode, it's just that the things he did that went against what would be considered Starfleet protocol, weighed against the good he did, cancelled each other out. If anyone really wants the figures I can post them, but basically things like acting against Starfleet protocols, putting his feelings before his duty, bad command decision and so on just left him with a net zero score.

Here's the chart, for what it's worth.

[Trollheart]

"He's baa-aaack!"

Episode title: "Hide and Q"
Season: 1
Importance: 7 (reintroduces Q and gives Riker the chance to be one; starts a kind of weird relationship, a sort of respect Q has for Riker, almost, but not quite, friendship)
Crisis point(s) if any: Riker becomes a god. Still doesn't get him a raise though.
Original transmission date: November 23 1987
Writer(s):  C.J. Holland, Gene Roddenberry
Director: Cliff Bole
Stardate:* 41590.5
Destination: Sigma 3 Colony
Mission (if any): Rescue after mine explosion
Main character(s) in Plot: Riker, Q
Main character(s) in Subplot (if any):
Not appearing: Troi
Villain/Monster (if any): Q
Deaths: 1
Lives saved (episode): 2
Lives saved (cumulative): 7
Locations:

Shipboard:
Bridge

Space:

Other:
Unknown planet


Ships/vessels: 0
Space battles: 0
Bodycount

Historical
0
Incidental
1 (Child on Quadra Sigma 3; though I'm sure there are plenty more casualties, this is the only one we see or which is remarked upon)
Direct
0
Total: 1
Running total: 85

Make it so: 0
Engage! 1
Combat factor: 0
Planets visited: 2 (Quadra Sigma 3, unknown Q planet)
Planets mentioned:
Mysteries: None
Patients in sickbay: 0
Data v humanity: n/a
Data 3 - Humanity 3
Character scores:
Picard 10
Riker 265
Troi 0
Bev 15
Geordi 15
Data 15
Worf 10
Wesley 10
Yar 10
O'Brien 0
Q 25

Earl Grey: 0
Shuttlecraft: 0
Admirals: 1 (Technically, Q appears as an admiral)
Starbases: 0
First contact:
Humour: 0
Episode rating: 5/10
Episode score: 270

I love the pace of this episode, the way it totally wrong-foots you. Opening as an urgent rescue mission, it quickly takes a hard left into a Q episode (and all the better for it), where this time Q is presented not quite as the omnipotent godlike being he was in the pilot episode, and more as a kind of trickster figure. Never got the title though: Q episodes from here on in make sense - "True Q", "Q-less", "Q Who" etc - but "Hide and Q" is obviously "Hide and Seek", and the word seek has nothing to do with Q. Then again, there's a Voyager episode called "The Q and the Gray", so maybe it doesn't matter. This is the first - maybe only - episode in which Deanna does not take part, as it mentions at the beginning they have dropped her off for a visit to her mother. That's also the first mention of her mother, who, sadly, we will have more dealings with. It's also the point where the Q as a race seem to become less dismissive of, and more interested in humanity, though we are given later the general impression that it is only this Q that is obsessed with them.

Picard wonders if perhaps Starfleet are going a little too far with the cutbacks?

Although I never liked her, it is interesting to see Tasha Yar emotional, breaking down when she realises that she may die if someone else makes a slip-up down on the planet, and Picard eschews his usual gruff attitude and distance to comfort her. It's a nice snapshot of a captain putting off the rank and protocol for once and just acting as one human being to another. Q seems to be rattled for once when Picard says he sees his own race becoming as powerful as them - like gods - one day, and it would appear Q agrees that this is a possibility. Is it, then, fear, or jealousy that drives his contact with and interest in us? Can it even be a sense of insecurity? This is also the first we hear of the Q Continuum, or even that Q is not a single entity, but is part of a larger community of godlike beings.

"Don't take it personally, Tasha. Geordi knows a hunk when he sees one. On the bright side, you'll be dead soon."

I can understand Picard's agreeing that Riker should not have used his new Q powers to try to bring the little girl back to life on Quada Sigma 3 - after all, he's no lover of children. Sod the little brat: let her stay dead. Picard is however canny here; he realises that once Riker uses his powers and sees what will happen, he will see that this is not the gift Q says it is. Data's response is a little reminiscent of Kirk in Star Trek V: "NO! Don't take my pain! I NEED my pain!" Geordi's reaction to Tasha: "You're more beautiful than I even imagined!" Picard: "Sorry, that's me you're looking at, La Forge." Geordi: "I know." Heh heh.

There are elements of the TOS episode "The Squire of Gothos" here, not only in the military campaign thing, but in the ending too, where Q is seen to be under the control of other, perhaps older (if age means anything in the Q Continuum) beings to whom he must report. His anguish at being called or pulled back reflects the chagrin, even fear of both Squire Trelayne and Charlie X (the one being a virtual copy of the other) when they were returned to their origin. After a Picard-specific episode, this is the first real Riker-led one, and also has shades of "Where No Man Has Gone Before" in the conferring of godlike powers on one of the crew, so really not that original, but it's the magnetic presence of John de Lancie as Q that pulls the whole thing together and makes it very markedly a TNG and not a TOS episode. It's also nice to see Wesley die, even if it doesn't last.

[Trollheart]

Well, the big news is that Yar is down from the number one spot, having been basically hurled off the top by Riker with as much ferocity as Kirk kicking that Klingon captain off the crumbling cliff of the destructing Genesis planet in Star Trek III! Riker becomes the first character not only to smash the 400-point barrier but the 500 one too, and comes within a breath of racking up 600!

Perhaps surprsingly, or perhaps not, Q doesn't earn many points even in an episode which ostensibly revolves around him. The explanation is that it doesn't, not really. Q is there as the agency of Riker's rise to Q-hood/godhood, but really, when you think about it, he doesn't do very much. This episode is all about Riker, and that's why he finally makes it to the top. Everyone else remains where they are, pretty much for the same reason. Will Yar make it back to number one before she has a fatal encounter with Armus? I don't know but I would doubt it. Look at the gap now: we're talking a full 200 points, though on the other hand she does have most of the season to make that defecit up. My money would be on Riker though.

Incidentally, I did consider awarding a "final score" for any character killed, which would, at the end of season one, have given Yar a clear advantage for a long time, but there was no point. She's the only one who dies - sure, Worf does, but they bring him back to life, and Wesley here, and sort of Picard in "Tapestry", and Data gets buried but he's not really dead, and so on. But someone actually dying and leaving the show (shut up! I KNOW about "Yesterday's Enterprise"! What do you want me to do about alternate timelines? I've enough to be dealing with here, thanks)? Just her. So there's little to no point in making a special farewell score.

We'll see, then, how she gets on, but you'd have to imagine once he has his arse on that top chair, it's gonna be harder to move Will from it than it would be to get Picard to break the Prime Directive and maybe smile.

[Trollheart]

Episode title: "Haven"
Season: 1
Importance: 3 (introduces us to Deanna's mother, gives us some insight into Betazoids; kicks off the uneasy relationship between Lwaxanna and Picard, even if it is only in her mind)
Crisis point(s) if any: It's an arranged wedding; how could it be anything else?
Original transmission date: November 30 1987
Writer(s): Tracy Tormé, Lan O'Kun
Director: Richard Compton
Stardate:* 41294.5
Destination: Haven
Mission (if any): R&R
Main character(s) in Plot: Deanna Troi, Lwaxana Troi
Main character(s) in Subplot (if any):
Not appearing: O'Brien, Wesley, Worf
Villain/Monster (if any): Lwaxana (Nah just kidding: or am I?)
Deaths: 0
Lives saved (episode): 0
Lives saved (cumulative): 7
Locations:

Shipboard:
Bridge
Transporter Room
Ready Room
Deanna's Quarters
Quarters set aside for Lwaxanna
Observation Lounge
Ballroom/Banquet Room

Space:

Other:
Haven
Tarellian ship


Ships/vessels: 1
Space battles: 0
Bodycount

Historical
0
Incidental
0
Direct
0
Total: 0
Running total: 85

Make it so: 0
Engage! 1
Combat factor: 0
Planets visited: Haven
Planets mentioned: 2
Mysteries: The girl in the pictures Wyatt has been drawing since a child
Patients in sickbay: 0
Data v humanity: I think we can say Data gets a little too involved, and overwhelmed by all the human interaction, so we're going to give it to humanity here.
Data  3  -Humanity 4

Character scores:
Picard 10
Riker 10
Troi 150
Beverly 20
Data 10
Geordi 30
Worf 0
Wesley 0
O'Brien 0

Earl Grey: 0
Shuttlecraft: 0
Admirals: 0
Starbases: 0
First contact: 0
Humour: 6
Episode rating: 7/10
Episode score: 245

Ah, why the hell couldn't Majel Barret be happy doing the voice of the computer? Appearing here for the first time, she will become an annoying blemish on Star Trek (all franchises, or most) at least to me. I just can't stand the woman. Her treatment of Picard, her dismissive attitude and lack of respect, and then her arrogant belief that he is in love with her, make me want to slap her. It certainly gives me a sense of sympathy for Deanna! We also meet her very tall, silent companion/butler/attendant, Mr. Homm, and learn that she is the ruler of Betazed, which I suppose in some way makes Deanna as her daughter a sort of princess. The gift that transports on to the ship to announce the wedding reminds me of that thing in TOS "Is There in Truth No Beauty?"


"Don't just stand there, Data! This thing's fucking heavy, and I'm no spring chicken!"
"Spring... chicken, sir?"
"Jesus in a warp core breach! Don't start that shit again!"

If, as Wiki says, Marina Sirtis worried that her being left out of the last episode was an indication she was about to be written out of the series, this episode must have, initially, confirmed those fears, as it's said once she gets married to her genetically-selected partner she will be leaving the ship. I'm sure her heart must have fluttered as she read those lines. Picard's sarcastic bow as he is "dismissed" from Lwaxanna's presence goes completely over her head, despite her mental powers. Bit of a slip of the tongue when Wyatt's father accidentally calls Lwaxanna's attendant Comm instead of Homm; he recovers without missing a beat though and they obviously left it in, presumably to indicate he may have had one or two too many, or just been irritated by Deanna's mother, and who would not be?


"You want fries with that?"

I like how Homm gets totally squiffy and even though he can't talk, conveys a good impression of someone who is well on; I also like Data's amusement/fascination with human interaction, especially as Lwaxanna and Wyatt's mother argue: it's a good illustration of his studying of human behaviour, though again he's grinning, and isn't he supposed to have no emotions? I suppose it would be claimed he is aping human expressions so as to fit in better, as he does later when he mirrors the host's actions and gestures in "Starship Mine", seasons from now. More information about Betazoids, as we learn that their weddings are, well, interesting, everyone being required to be naked.


"Somebody get me OUT of here! And get my agent on the phone!"

There's a good sense of humour in this episode, a lot of catty bitching like a good episode of Dallas or Dynasty, and yet there are very serious subjects being explored here. It's a love story, a fairy tale, a story of arranged marriage, a warning about ostracising one sector of society because they're seen as incompatible with the rest of civilisation, like lepers or those with the Black Death. There's the desire to help, to do what you can to ease the suffering of others, a sense of sacrifice, and destiny. It's the first Troi-centric episode, the first real one centred around family. A really complex, well written and in the end quite beautiful episode.

And again, nobody agrees with me, and again they can all go fuck themselves.

[Trollheart]

If the charts have shown us anything, it's that, unlike its predecessor, TNG at least seems to be - for the first season anyway - a show centred mostly around one character. Oh, the others are usually there, but the way only one character advances each episode shows that the episode was based mostly around them.

And so it is with "Haven", where Deanna's starring role enables her to climb over the men and make her way to the third spot, advancing five places and in the process displacing Data and Wesley, as well as her captain, moving each down one place, and Beverly, who falls two places. Data and Wesley now occupy fifth and fourth place respectively, while Picard also slides one to number 6. Beverly is now at number 8.

Riker retains his place at the top for the second episode running, though his captain has a chance to move up again - though hardly to top spot! - as our next episode is built all around him. For now though, the top three has changed, with Riker, rather appropriately, at number one, Yar still making a good showing at number two and now the girls outnumber the boys with Deanna at number 3.

[Trollheart]

There was a hard rain falling that night, hard enough to wash the scum of this city into the gutters and... yes, you've guessed it.

Episode title: "The Big Goodbye"
Season: 1
Importance: 4 (First holodeck episode)
Crisis point(s) if any: Picard must greet an alien race flawlessly, but is trapped in the holodeck
Original transmission date: January 11 1988
Writer(s): Tracy Torme
Director: Joseph L. Scanlan
Stardate:* 41997.7
Destination: Torona IV
Mission (if any): Greet the Jarada
Main character(s) in Plot: Picard
Main character(s) in Subplot (if any): Beverly, Data, Geordi, Worf, Yar, Wesley, Riker
Not appearing: O'Brien
Villain/Monster (if any): None
Deaths: 1 ++
Lives saved (episode): 1
Lives saved (cumulative): 8
Locations:

Shipboard:
Captain's Quarters
Bridge
Observation Lounge
Dixon Hill's office ++
San Francisco street ++
Police precinct ++

Space:

Other:


Ships/vessels: 0
Space battles: 0
Bodycount

Historical
1 ++ (Dixon Hill's client)
Incidental

Direct

Total: 1
Running total: 86

Make it so: 0
Engage! 0
Combat factor: 0
Transports: 0
Planets visited: 0
Planets mentioned: 0
Aliens: The Harada
Mysteries: Why the holodeck is stuck and won't let them leave
Patients in sickbay: 0 (though presumably the historian was sent there, we don't see him there)
Data v humanity: Like the Holmes stories, the whole idea of the forties private eye captivates Data
Data 3 - Humanity 5
Character scores:
Picard 155
Riker 10
Troi 10
Data 40
Beverly 30
Worf 10
Geordi 10
Wesley 30
O'Brien 0

Earl Grey: 0
Shuttlecraft: 0
Admirals: 0
Starbases: 0
First contact: 0
Humour: 6
Episode rating: 2/10
Episode score: 220

God preserve me! The first of several Dixon Hill holodeck episodes! What idiot thought that Picard/Stewart could play a private detective? I mean, I know he's a good actor but look at anything he's been in: he's Captain Picard, always and forever. He has the wrong accent, the wrong demeanour, the wrong attitude for a private eye. This was, however, the very first holodeck-centred episode, so that's something I guess. The second Picard-led one too, with most of the action taking place in the fantasy world created by the ship's computer, set in San Francisco 1941. It does afford us the rare opportunity to see Beverly dressed up, and she looks well. Quite funny when she sits down in the police station, sees another girl sitting there whose legs are more exposed than hers, slides up her skirt a little and then realises the girl is a hooker! Oh dear.


Picard hopes Beverly never discovers that he uses her makeup...

Data gets fully into the role, as you would probably expect, and from having arrived there in his Starfleet uniform and looking totally out of place, Picard is now immersed too in his character, dressed as a 1940s private dick. Also funny when Bev is given some gum and swallows it. Riker arriving at the holodeck to Geordi: "Have you tried the intercom?" Geordi facepalming: "The intercom! Now why didn't I think of that?" The subplot is almost negligible, really only providing a reason why Picard needs to seek the sanctuary and release of the holodeck. In many ways, we're talking "A Piece of the Action" here, though perhaps not handled quite as well. Even at the end, Picard makes a gangster-style comment, as did Kirk in the TOS episode.

[Trollheart]

Can't keep a good captain down! Picard rises all the way to number three, while his, um, Number One retains the top spot and Yar holds on to number two.

In other news, Data and Wesley now share 5th spot, the former having fallen one place and the latter two, but Deanna climbs four to the fourth spot. Others move up one place, but it's mostly a false move, due to two characters sharing the fifth slot, leaving room for others to move up. Essentially, they're the same, but visually at least Q, Worf and O'Brien move up one place, with Beverly and Geordi non-movers, remaining at 6 and 7 respectively.

[Trollheart]

Isn't that the whole point of the holodeck though?  Living out your dreams and fantasies, even those you'd never actually do in real life?

Meh, possibly. Still, of all the people who they could have had to play a PI, Captain Picard would be at the bottom of my list. Even Wesley would be higher. I mean, Data was at least believable as Holmes, Geordi not quite so much in his role as Watson but not bad. Picard didn't even affect a Bronx accent or anything, and seemed, despite his supposed love for the genre and for the character, to know nothing of the lingo of the period. I just personally found it stilted and unconvincing. Maybe it's just me.

Anyway...

Now that we're more than ten episodes in, it's time for the first episode chart.
And here it is.

Obviously, episodes don't quite have the same ability to rise and fall as characters do, since once they're done, they're done, but they can move by virtue of other episodes being ranked lower than them. Also, once we have 20 episodes things will look at lot clearer.

For now, is this what you expected? I admit "Lonely Among Us" was one of the better episodes, but I did think "Encounter at Farpoint" would be at the top. It should be made clear, of course, that these rankings are based solely on the criteria I established at the beginning, and have usually nothing to do with my own personal like or dislike of the episode, or indeed its popular rating among fans, critics, or small blue things that go whoop on alternate Thursdays. In one way, you could say they're the truest and most honest ratings, because they depend entirely and exclusively on the facts: how much danger was in the episode? Was there a war? Were there aliens in it? And so on.

Anyway, we have "Lonely Among Us" at the top, followed by "Hide & Q" and then "Encounter at Farpoint", which in general is not a bad top three really. More of a shock, perhaps, to see "Haven" take the number four spot, while "Where No One Has Gone Before" being at five is no surprise, but a major amazement, really, to see "The Big Goodbye" so high, at number 6. "The Battle", "Justice" and "The Last Outpost" at number 7, 8 and 9 respectively does make sense to me, while the final episode in the top ten ends up being the awful "Code of Honor", leaving the even worse "The Naked Now", somewhat like its subject, out in the cold at number 11.

Again, if you don't agree, don't blame me. These rankings are based on whether or not the episodes attained the criteria set out by me, not any personal preference.

I won't do a chart after every episode, as there would be little movement, so the next one will be when we reach episode 20, and then perhaps at the end of the season.

Rankings, then, look like this for now:

[Trollheart]

Episode title: "Datalore"
Season: 1
Basic plot: Data meets his brother. And he's evil!
Importance: 8 (shows us the first real origins of Data, gives Brent Spiner, somewhat like Nimoy in "This Side of Paradise" and, to a somewhat lesser extent, "Mirror, Mirror", a chance to step outside the somewhat rigid constrictions of his character. Also allows him to pull a Kirk in "The Enemy Within", as in, play two opposing sides of himself, a good one and an evil one.
Crisis point(s) if any: Lore takes over and prepares to feed the crew to the Crystalline Entity - and it's been trying to cut down!
Original transmission date: January 18 1988
Writer(s): Robert Lewin, Maurice Hurley (teleplay by Maurice Hurley and Gene Roddenberry)
Director: Rob Bowman
Stardate:* 41242.4
Destination: Omicron Theta
Mission (if any): Maintenance at Starbase Armus IX
Main character(s) in Plot: Data
Main character(s) in Subplot (if any):
Not appearing: Troi, O'Brien
Villain/Monster (if any): Lore; Crystalline Entity
Deaths: 0
Lives saved (episode): 2
Lives saved (cumulative): 10
Locations:

Shipboard:
Bridge
Data's Quarters
Ready Room
Engineering
Observation Lounge
Cargo Bay

Space:

Other:
Omicron Theta


Ships/vessels (encountered): 0
Ships/vessels (mentioned only): 1 (USS Tripoli)
Space battles: 0
Bodycount

Historical
0
Incidental
0
Direct
0
Total: 0
Running total: 86

Make it so: 1
Engage! 1
Combat factor: 0
Planets mentioned: 1
Aliens: Crystalline entity.
Mysteries: Destruction of colony on Omicron Theta
Patients in sickbay: 1 (Lore)
Data v humanity: Data really drops the ball on this one, and it's up to Wesley to save him, so no, afraid he loses on this one too.
Data 3 - Humanity 6
Character scores:
Picard 10
Riker 25
Data  140
Troi 0
Geordi 15
Bev 20
Yar 15
Wesley 50
O'Brien 0

Earl Grey: 0
Shuttlecraft: 0
Admirals: 0
Starbases: 0
First contact: 1 (Crystalline Entity)
Humour: 3
Episode rating: 5/10
Episode score: 160

Having had a Riker, two Picards and a Troi-specific episode, it's Data's turn, and it will by no means turn out to be the last. This one, of course, concentrates on his brother, his evil brother Lore, and tells us not only how he was created and by whom, but how, had things been different, Data might have turned out to be a true adversary of humanity. Like they used to say about Sherlock Holmes, thank god he chose to work on the side of law: can you imagine Data as an enemy? Of course, this will happen later on in the series, when he teams up with Lore in the two-part episode "Descent", but that's getting a little ahead of ourselves. Picard shows admirable sensitivity in addressing the awkwardness the senior staff have about speaking of Data's "brother", by reminding them that we are all machines, of one sort or another.

We learn here that Data has an off switch, something which Riker will use to terrible effect in the episode "The Measure of a Man". It's interesting to see that both Chief Engineer Argyll and Beverly can work on Lore, as he is both man and machine. I always wonder why, if Picard was, as he says, certain of Data's loyalty, he had to ask him the question in the first place? He obviously was not as certain as he makes out. Wesley proves pretty insufferable here, but it's good to see he comes close to getting his comeuppance when Lore gets his hands on him. I am surprised though when Lore tells Data he can use contractions while his brother can't; I'm sure I heard Data using those before. We also get some hints as to the existence of the alien known as the crystalline entity here, which will reappear in a later episode.


Is this what they mean by not losing your head? Sorry...

I have to wonder why Deanna is not in this episode. It seems like there would have been ample opportunity to use her talents, especially to determine Lore's intentions. Maybe that's why: if she had been able to tell Picard Lore was up to something, it might have spoiled the episode. Still, Marina Sirtis must have been feeling on a bit of a roller-coaster: one week she's out, next week she's the centre of the episode, the next week she's not there at all. Well, not in that order, but you know what I mean. A small, almost insignificant role in the previous one. Lore's facial tic that gives him away is a bit of a lazy plot device, almost as bad as if he were to twirl a moustache, and it's pretty obvious how they're going to identify him, though he does a half-decent job of covering it up by pretending he's copying Data.


Picard: "I SAID, we will NOT do a Christmas episode, dammit!"

Both Riker and Picard show uncharacteristically poor judgement and insight when Wesley clearly has a problem with Lore. They ignore his warnings and never for once think this may not be Data who stands before them. I mean, I hate the little bastard, but it can't be denied he has saved the day more than once, most recently when he gained access to the holodeck in the last episode. Yet they're ready to jump on him for being rude to "a senior officer", without considering the cause of that impertinence. Again, given how much I despise Wesley it hurts me to say this, but surely they should trust him? And their suspicion is not any further aroused by Wesley's continued attempts - even though he knows he'll lose his position on the bridge, something that means more to him than almost anything - to continue warning them? Not to mention Lore's dismissive use of Riker's surname without rank and his inability to understand Picard's "Make it so"? Man, are they dumb.

It's also a bit crazy how easily Lore overpowers Data. I mean, he just pushes him, and suddenly two (or, I suppose, at a stretch, three) against one becomes meaningless, and they're all more or less hostages. Funny how it then devolves into a game of Donkey Kong! Nice how Picard apologises to Wesley for not believing him and for saving the ship. Oh no wait: he doesn't.

[Trollheart]

One more thing about Datalore. When Lore sees the CE he says "Beautiful, isn't it?" Not only is that an inappropriate thing for Data to say, he shouldn't be able to say it. He has no concept of beauty and can only go on what others tell him, so if the rest of the crew are repulsed by, or scared of the thing, then he should be too. He should not be able to make an independent appraisal of the beauty of an unknown object. So that should have raised suspicions. Picard does raise an eyebrow, but that's about all.

Anyway, on we go with the chart.


To nobody's surprise, Data makes strides up the chart, displacing his captain as he moves two places from 5 to 3, pushing Picard down to 4 from 3, while everyone else drops one place, the exception being Deanna, who, by virtue of not being in the episode, slips two places from 6 to 8. Wesley, despite his performance here, remains at number 5. He's about to become the fifth character to break the 300-point barrier, while Yar has already punched through the 400, with Data not far behind her - remember "The Naked Now", Tasha! - and Picard also heading for that milestone. Out on his own, Riker of course is well into the 600s.

It's not been, um, glorious for poor Worf yet, despite taking on Lore - read, having the crap beaten out of him - and even the blind guy is ahead of him. Mind you, consider poor Miles, who still can't get arrested, with a paltry 30 points after a dozen episodes! Even Q, who has only been in two, has more points than him.

[Trollheart]

Episode title: "Angel  One"
Season: 1
Basic plot: Riker ends up on a planet run by women. It's not as great as it sounds. Oh no wait, it is. Kind of.
Importance: 0
Crisis point(s) if any: Sort of none other than the trouble out Neutral Zone way
Original transmission date: January 25 1988
Writer(s): Patrick Barry
Director: Michael Ray Rhodes
Stardate:* 41636.9
Destination: Angel One
Mission (if any): Track down any survivors from the freighter Odin
Main character(s) in Plot: Riker
Main character(s) in Subplot (if any):
Not appearing: O'Brien
Villain/Monster (if any): None
Deaths: 0
Lives saved (episode): 14
Lives saved (cumulative): 24
Locations:
Shipboard:
Bridge
Sickbay
Holodeck

Space:

Other:
Angel One


Ships/vessels (encountered): 0
Ships/vessels (mentioned only): Freighter Odin, USS Berlin, Romulan Warbirds
Space battles: 0
Bodycount

Historical
0
Incidental
0
Direct
0
Total: 0
Running total: 86

Make it so: 0
Engage! 1
Combat factor: 0
Planets visited: Angel One
Planets mentioned:
Aliens: The Angel One-ians
Mysteries: None
Patients in sickbay: over 100 ("More patients than beds", according to Bev)
Data v Humanity: n/a
Data 3 - Humanity 6
Character scores:
Picard 10
Riker 175
Data 15
Geordi  10
Troi 15
Bev 20
Wesley 30
Worf 10
Yar 15
O'Brien 0

Earl Grey: 0
Shuttlecraft: 0
Admirals: 0
Starbases: 0
First contact: 0
Humour: 4
Episode rating: 1/10
Episode score: 65

Oh god this is the one about the planet of women isn't it? And not in a "Space Bikini Girls on the Moon" sort of way, or anything. This is a matriarchy, where Riker has to dress in an embarrassingly revealing... oh no. My dinner! It's rather typical that in a story where the women are in power (written, I should note with some asperity, by a man) there has to be rebellion fomenting. Like male equivalents of the Suffragettes, the men who have survived from the Odin are now leading a rebellion, helped by women who don't enjoy the status quo. Sort of a reversal of the movement here, where certain women went against the idea of suffrage. But the underlying sentiment, though it's cleverly presented as "no one gender should have power over another" is really "women should not be in power and the natural order of things is that men should be in charge." To illustrate this, the arrival of the manly men - as opposed to the somewhat vain and effeminate native ones - has sparked feelings long suppressed in some of the native women, who just want the men to take over and rule them as they feel should be how things are.


"Ah yes! At last, the power is mine!"

It doesn't help that the central figure of this matriarchy, the authority, Beata, is presented as gruff, masculine, butch and uncompromising, unfriendly and not exactly all that pretty. You are, as a man (or I am anyway) more or less immediately annoyed by and turned off by her, and your sympathies quickly lie with the "rebels". It is interesting that, when they're located, and refuse to leave, because they're civilians they can't be forced to go. This episode does give the two main men the chance to bare their manly chests, if you're into such a thing, and also for a sort of reflection of the planet below to occur on the ship, as Beverly is the one running things, since somehow she hasn't got sick. The ending is very poe-faced I feel: Riker basically talks Beata into letting the captives live. It's very fucking Star Trek, isn't it?

A few seasons later, they might have been executed and we'd be left with an uncomfortable reminder that sometimes you just can't and shouldn't interfere with internal planetary politics. Still, you'd wonder, given that Ramsay and his men are all Federation citizens, if Angel One is risking a diplomatic incident by attempting to execute them? And why Riker - or Data - doesn't point this out in an attempt to change yer wan's mind? Seems like with a race that prides themselves on strength so much, an open threat might be more respected than a plea.