Trollheart Goes Pop!

[Trollheart]

No, not like a bubble, worse luck for you. This is my attempt to explore a music genre that is everywhere and yet which I have little experience of. I'll be looking at the sort of albums I perhaps - almost certainly - slagged off as a teenager and young man, the kind of things my brother maybe listened to, and stuff that was in the charts. I'll be trying (not very hard, admittedly) to give them a fairer listen, and see if I was too harsh on them in my youth - or perhaps not harsh enough! I may also add in albums I have never heard, just to see what today's music is like. (Spoiler: it's probably crap). Feel free to disagree, comment, send death threats or your credit card details to my Paypal which is...

Be aware, some of my journals are relatively serious. This one will not be. It will be quite tongue-in-cheek and very irreverent and flippant a lot of the time. Many of you may think the albums I feature here are good, or even great. Some of you may have them in your collection. Hell, some of them may now be in MY collection! But I'm approaching this from the standpoint of my teenage self, when I was into metal and rock and really had no time for pop music. Back then, these are the albums I would have never considered listening to, never mind buying. Now, I want to look at them in a little depth and see if they are as bad as I had made them out to be, thirty or so years ago. Please don't take offence; this is just one person's view, and a naive, somewhat conceited one at that, considering how little I actually knew about music at the time.

All the above notwithstanding, I always hated the Pet Shop Boys. There was something about them that just seemed the antithesis to a rock band - a rock band being far from what they were of course - and they fitted in with the glut of what one of my workmates caustically termed "Puff bands": the likes of Thompson Twins, Fiction Factory, A Flock of Seagulls (though I liked them), Human League and Dead or Alive. Bands who seemed to have little or no soul in their music, whose output did not excite or interest me and who, rather annoyingly to the young teenage me, were storming the charts every time they released a single or album, while my own favourite bands were lucky to appear once on Top of the Pops. Not that I wanted to see Maiden or Marillion or Blackfoot or Genesis in the charts: to me, at the time, the charts were the worst place you could be. They meant you had most likely  written something that was a "sellout", that you had turned from your core fanbase and were busy pandering to the masses. I know, I know: stupid, but when we're young...

But my brother loved Pet Shop  Boys, and bought all their albums. And he was not the type to listen, as I did, secluded in my bedroom with headphones on, happy to have my music to myself. No. He kept trying to get me into the band. But the more I heard - mostly if not exclusively through the charts - the more I hated them. When this album came out I pointed to the cover and say AH! AH! Look! They're not even interested in their music! Tennant is YAWNING! Oh dear...

Anyway, the music of PSB has never spoken to me, though like probably most people of my age I have the melody for songs like "West End Girls", "Left to My Own Devices", "Opportunities" and a dozen others ingrained on my consciousness from overplay on the radio and television. Doesn't mean I like them, or have come to like them, but in total fairness I have to admit I have never once listened to an album by these guys all the way through. And that therefore is what I intend to do in this journal. Trying to look at the album with a dispassionate eye, I'm going to review it and see if I can discover if I've been missing out on great music (or even good music) all these years, or if I was right in the first place to give Pet Shop Boys a wide berth.

Sure, sure; that's the plan. Just keep telling yourself that, Trollheart...

Actually - Pet Shop Boys - 1987 (Parlophone)


The first time I heard Neil Tennant sing I knew I had heard that voice before. In fact, when "West End Girls" hit the charts I was convinced it was ... Al Stewart. Even now, I find it hard to tell the difference. I've thrown in an Al Stewart song below so you can decide if I'm raving mad or not, but for me the two are virtually inseparable, other than by time of course: Stewart had all his big hits in the 70s while PSB only got going a decade later. At any rate, in case you don't know, Pet Shop Boys are a duo, consisting of the aforementioned Tennant and keyboard player Chris Lowe. Tennant does all the lead vocals, also plays keyboards and some guitar, though most of their music is digitally sequenced and played back onstage via banks of computers hooked to synthesisers. They seem to profess a lack of interest in and dislike of rock music, making their own sound very electronic, dancy, new-wave and club-orientated. This is another reason why I personally have no time for their music: any band who says they don't like rock music has, in my opinion, no business being a band.

But to the album, which became one of their most successful and spawned four top ten singles, taking them to number 2 in the UK albums charts and outside the top 20 in the USA. This is an increase in popularity for them on their debut, Please, which hit number 3 in the UK, but a major failure for them in the US, where the debut had kicked in at number 7. Though they would continue to do very well on this side of the water, with most if not all of their albums reaching the top 5, the USA seems done with them. After an initial flurry of interest for Please, which pushed it into the top ten there, there's been a steady decrease in chart positions over the years, with a small amount of ground being made up on the last two albums, but nothing like the success they would have wanted to have. Hey, maybe you Americans have better taste than us after all!

A big rolling drumbeat, a piano glissando straight out of ABBA's "Dancing Queen" and then we're into bongo-type beats and a trance-y rhythm with the sounds of traffic, crickets and then Neil Tennant's voice basically speaks the opening lines before adding a little musicality into his voice. Chris Lowe's synths swell now in the background and "One More Chance" is underway, lots of little bits of synthage going on as various sequenced parts take their turn fitting in, and a funky bassline merges with the conga percussion. The chorus brings at least some sort of tune, with keys sounding a little like strings in places, then halfway through it appears to just repeat, with a not-too-bad synthy bridge before it goes back to the chorus. Very dancy, very electronica, very upbeat and very Pet Shop Boys. Way too long though at five and a half minutes, but then, that's dance music's very raison d'etre, isn't it? Extended mixes, remixes, and so on.

The next one I know, as it was a hit and features the vocals of fifties legend Dusty Springfield - indeed, her presence on the song sparked something of a mini-revival in her career. "What Have I Done to Deserve This" is another dancy tune, perhaps more in the Human League/ Giorgio Moroder style than the previous, and I do have to say that the professional vox of Springfield lend the tune a sense of class it would possibly never have otherwise. Tennant does his (to me) annoying usual on this: talking his vocal part  - not all the time, but a lot of it. Matching Dusty's style of music it's quite soulful and relaxed in places, and Lowe's keyboards do a good job. Touches of the great Annie Lennox in there too. "Shopping" starts off on a big bassy synth, then handclap beats as it takes a new-wave turn, quite Depeche Mode or even New Order in feel, tinges of Visage also discernable buried somewhere in the melody. Vocoders abound (how I hate them) and big bright bubbly synths, and it's a little slower than the other tracks to date.

As vacuous as this song is, "Rent", one of the four hit singles, has at least something to say, speaking about the relationship between a toyboy/kept woman or man (PSB apparently keep their lyrical content deliberately vague in terms of gender so that they can't be accused of promoting a pro-gay agenda) and it's pleasant enough. Nice synth lines, but hell, what else can you say about this band? Everything's driven on keys and sequenced sections. They say Tennant plays occasional guitar, but I ain't heard it yet. Again, I find this song, after the initial idea is expounded, just to keep repeating itself, and it seems to be a failing common to a lot of their songs. Nice little trumpeting synth at the end, then we're into "Hit Music". With an almost Art of Noise intro on the synthesiser, it has a nice bassy synthline going through it also, and Tennant is on form on the vocals. Nice unexpectedly slow, langourous instrumental ending too.

For some odd reason, Ennio Moricone is credited as helping to compose "It Couldn't Happen Here", I really don't know why, although the song does have a very dramatic, cinematic atmosphere and you could see it being used as a soundtrack - which of course it was: they released a film themselves with this title. It's quite progressive rock in a weird way, swirling synths, slow pounding drums and a full orchestra. I must admit I like this, the first track on the album yet that I have expressed any preference for. Pity this sort of music was in the minority for the Pet Shop Boys. Very effective, quite moving in its own way. Then there's the big hit single, "It's a Sin", which bops along nicely and has some nice trumpeting keyboards, is quite catchy and was a song you just couldn't avoid when it was in the charts. Kind of hits out at the Church as an institution I think, though perhaps a little more subtly than it could have done. There's certainly a similarity in the way the song is constructed to Cat Stevens' "Wild World", so much so that Jonathan King took them to court over it, claiming they copied the then-retired singer's hit song from the seventies, but he lost the case.

A little more restrained, but still using samples and vocoders, "I Want to Wake Up" has touches of Kylie in it, a driving beat and banks of synthesisers as ever; we're three tracks from the end and I have yet to hear anything I could recognise as a guitar. There is something familiar about the melody on this song, though for the life of me I can't place it. That takes us to their last single released off the album, "Heart". With an annoying sampled voice synth opening, it's a slower song than the last one, and was another to get to the top for the Pet Shop Boys. That driving bass is there as is the handclap percussion, and no doubt it went down well in the clubs, but not my sort of thing at all. A description that could be applied to pretty much all of this album really: no surprise there. There's a completely pointless false ending about ten seconds before the end - why? Who knows? The album then closes on "King's Cross", a slow, moody ballad with bassy synth and swirling synth and, well, synths all over the place. For what it is it's quite nice, restrained and atmospheric with a hint of ambient about it, and a better closer than I might have expected.

TRACK LISTING

1. One More Chance
2. What Have I Done to Deserve This
3. Shopping
4. Rent
5. Hit Music
6. It Couldn't Happen Here
7. It's a Sin
8. I Want to Wake Up
9. Heart
10. King's Cross

There were, and continue to be, many things about Pet Shop Boys that don't sit well with me. To my mind, they were never a band, just a money-making machine that reached its goal through the medium of music. You could say that this could apply to any band, and at its heart yes that may be true, but I would argue that primarily most bands play to have their music heard and appreciated, and if that makes money then all the better. Of course, everyone has to support themselves and it'd be a true idiot that played and didn't want to get paid for their performances, but in the case of PSB it seems to be the be-all and end-all of their intentions. Even their fans, when they debate apparently argue over which track on the new album is likely to be the biggest hit single, and thereby bring in the most revenue to the band. Never mind the quality, seems to be the mantra, how much is it going to make? Seems like all their fans may as well be accountants for all the interest they have in the songs actually being good, just listenable or well-written.

Although this may be anecdotal, I do recall hearing once that Neil Tennant, while working for UK pop rag Smash Hits opined that all these bands he was reviewing and interviewing weren't so special, that he didn't see how hard it could be to write a pop song, and that given the chance he could do as well, or better. Then he had the opportunity to form PSB and away they went. Their popularity initially seemed based on their almost static performances: Lowe would stand behind the keyboard barely moving (not surprising as we now know most of their music was sequenced and probably just took a push of a button or a flick of a mouse to playback) and Tennant stood around looking bored and singing mostly in a monotone with a pained scowl on his face. Oh yeah: rock and roll.  This attitude to music has never gone down well in my book. A band should be excited about, or at least interested in their music, but Pet Shop Boys never seemed to be. Their only real interest ever appeared to be how much money they could make, perhaps enshrined in their 1986 hit "Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money)" rather than how they could create the best music they were capable of.

No, after listening to this, and being reminded of how much I pretty much despised the Pet Shop Boys and all they stood for, I look upon Actually no more kindly now than I did when my brother was trying to force-feed me this pretentious, vacuous, empty soulless pap. If you like it, fair enough, but my own personal musical tastes are never going to slip sufficiently that I would be tempted to buy any of the albums from this poseur duo.

[Trollheart]

Aphrodite - Kylie Minogue - 2010 (Parlophone)

Ah yeah, I'll admit it: I've always had a soft spot for Kylie, at least since she broke away from the Hit Factory. It takes great guts and indeed vision to tamper with a winning formula, but Kylie didn't want to be another manufactured commodity, basically a mouthpiece into which messrs. Stock, Aitken and Waterman fed their pop pap recycled garbage, and made money off her. So she struck off on her own, met Michael Hutchence, dabbled in recording with the Prince of Darkness, Nick Cave, and carved herself a whole new identity, or three.

I'll also admit that Kylie records are not numerous among my collection, I have Light Years and The Ultimate Kylie, and that's all I need. But then I heard the lead single from this album, and I liked it so much I thought hell, why not? And I bought the album. So is it any good, or was I fooled by one excellent track into buying a disc full of rubbish? Well, let's see.

(Hey, believe me, it's worth just watching the video! )
As mentioned, "All the Lovers" was the single that preceded the album, and it is DAMN good! It's pure pop/dance heaven, with great hooks and a bouncy beat. Kylie is on top form as ever, and though no-one is expecting to hear deep lyrical ideas or intricate instrumentation on this album, it's musically very rewarding, with not surprisingly keyboards and synth taking centre stage, among a battery of drum machines.  As you might expect on a dance record, it's all pretty much programmed stuff, and there's a very electronic feel to the music. There are guitars, bass, banks of keyboards, but nothing really sounds individual, everything sort of sucked into the mass to produce the hybrid sound that seems to permeate most dance music - one of the reasons why it does little for me.

And producers! This album must break some sort of record for the number of producers it credits. I count no less than seventeen, including Stuart Price (executive producer) and Calvin Harris. In fairness, the production of the album is pristine - you would certainly hope so, with that many separate producers involved - it's bouncy, clean and clear. But after the initial euphoria of "All the Lovers" has worn off, things take a dive towards the mundane.

"Put Your Hands Up" is essentially "Hand On Your Heart" updated for the 21st century, while "Closer", despite an interesting line in synth and an almost Abba-like melody, doesn't step far enough from the formula to establish its own identity. "Everything is Beautiful" however, raises the bar a little. A semi-ballad, penned by Fraser T. Smith and Keane's Tim Rice-Oxley, it's a nice break from the constant dance rhythm, though make no mistake about it, this is unashamedly a dance album. There are no attempts to rock out, or break into any other genres here. This is, basically, Kylie returning to what she does best, and excelling at doing so.

The title track comes in on bongo-like drumbeats and then gets going as another catchy dance track, with interesting vocals by Kylie, nice electric piano recalling the heyday of ABC at their best. I guess it's par for the course with a dance album - of which genre I admit I have very little experience - but the drum machines always sound very dry and soulless. It's a pity she didn't draft in the services of a human drummer for at least some of the tracks. I think this may be why so many sound the same, or at least similar.

"Illusion" is the first song which Kylie co-writes, but to be honest you wouldn't know, and you'd ask yourself why she bothered, when it sounds pretty much like the ones that have gone before. Nice ELO-style strings in the song though, and decent backing vocals. Also reminds me of China Crisis, for some reason...

It's probably my own fault for trying to review a dance album. No doubt a true Kylie fan, or someone better acquainted with pop/dance music would have a lot more to say about this album, but I find it hard to find anything really positive to say about it, apart from of course the opener. Everything sounds contrived, constructed and pre-programmed, and ultimately I find myself sort of listening and typing on auto-pilot as the album winds on towards its eventual conclusion. "Too Much" is a faster, piano-driven song that has a little individuality about it, for about thirty seconds, then it falls back into the same old groove. I would normally stop the album now, bored out of my mind and quite disappointed, considering the high hopes I had had having listened to the opener, but this is a review and so I owe it to you, my readers, to finish it. So I'll listen on, but I don't expect too much. Sadly, there haven't been any ballads even, which might have helped rescue this album for me. Can't beat a good love song.

To be fair, for anyone into dance music this is going to be a blast, and there's no doubt it'll be a favourite on the dance floor and at parties, but it's not an album I would put on to actually listen to. One thing I really hate about drum machines is those bloody handclaps! Is there any drumloop that doesn't use them? And don't get me started on the overuse of vocoders! Anyway, "Cupid Boy" is the longest track on the album, at just under four and a half minutes, and it's more of the same. The only good thing about it is that it denotes that the end of the album is coming up: only two more tracks to go! Can I last?

It's a real pity, as I do like Kylie, but I'd love to see her bring in some proper guitarist (Slash, anyone?) and try some rock. I think she could really handle it, and could be very good at it. However, she knows her market and she plays to them, and you certainly can't fault her for that. She has taken her share of chances in the past, so at this stage in her life - and having survived a cancer scare into the bargain - you can't blame her for playing it safe. Hey, it's all money in her bank account, and she'll certainly never be short of fans, or people to buy her albums. I just don't feel I'll be bothering in future. File under "took a chance, failed".

Ah well, despite it all, I still love ya, Kylie!

TRACK LISTING

1. All the Lovers
2. Get Outta My Way
3. Put Your Hands Up (If You Feel Love)
4. Closer
5. Everything is Beautiful
6. Aphrodite
7. Illusion
8. Better Than Today
9. Too Much
10. Cupid Boy
11. Looking For an Angel
12. Can't Beat the Feeling

[Trollheart]

This is Serious - Marilyn Martin - 1988 (Atlantic)

Those few of you who even remember the name will probably recall the hit Marilyn had with Phil Collins, on the single "Separate Lives", and in truth though she was thought to be destined for big things, this, her second album, was her last, as the label dropped her on the back of poor sales. It's not a bad album though, and it certainly has its moments, but to be honest it was never going to set the world on fire. Even the inclusion of a song co-written by Madonna was unable to interest the record-buying public in this album, and in my own case I must admit I really bought it only out of curiosity, having heard her on the abovementioned duet with Collins.

It's that Madonna-penned song that opens the album, and perhaps that's a bad move, as it's very dance-oriented, quite throwaway and not at all representative of the quality this album often shines through with. But first impressions last, and anyone hearing "Possessive Love" is likely to have thought here we go, another disco diva who thinks she's a star. It's the sort of song any female singer you care to mention could make work, as in it hasn't got too much about it, and I'm actually quite surprised to find that Madge was involved, as it's really pretty sub-par. But things don't stay that way for long, and the title track, up next, ups the ante a little, giving more of a glimpse into the sort of music this woman could make.

It's still poppy and dancy, but puts me more in mind of the likes of the late Laura Branigan with a more, well, serious track, some very good guitar throughout the song, though who plays what seems to be a closely guarded secret. Marilyn's voice here is more ragged, raunchy and you can hear her love for rhythm and blues coming through, very sultry and with a lot more swagger. My old friends Terry Britten and Graham Lyle, who so damned the first half of Break Every Rule for Tina Turner, are back to pen another weak song for Marilyn, and again "Best is yet to come" is almost worth skipping, though at least the title does hint at the truth. Very dancy, very bland, very Britten/Lyle.

Thankfully, that all changes with the introduction of "Quiet Desperation", the first of two ballads on the album. With a gentle, rippling keyboard melody carrying the tune, this is where Martin shines as she takes it down several notches, cutting back on the raunch and allowing her own naturally smoky sensuality to bleed through, imbuing this song with all the heart and passion she can muster, almost emulating the power and passion of Sam Brown. Lovely emotional little guitar solo and some measured drumming move the track along as it reaches its halfway point, but they never attempt to take it over, and the simple keyboard line drives the song into the instrumental ending, which takes up almost two of the five minutes and change the track runs for.

After that tour-de-force, Martin kicks out the stays and rocks out hard for "Lay Me Down", perhaps one of the rockiest tracks on the album, and certainly one of the standouts. With a hard guitar  and organ opening, it's suffused by pure joy and wild abandon as Marilyn plays the rock chick to perfection, letting her wild side out, her voice rising to meet the highest registers in the song, with some great soul-style backing vocals and a ripping guitar solo. "Love Takes No Prisoners" scales back the rock a little, with a dance beat but still some decent guitar, a real air of Prince about it, circa Sign o' the Times, then it's kind of a Huey Lewis mix of pop and AOR for "Try Me", very catchy with some stabbing keyboard chords and a busy bassline.

Much of the blame for Martin's lack of success must surely lie with Atlantic, who decided to showcase her talent by releasing two singles from the album, choosing the boring soundalike opener and following it up with "Love Takes No Prisoners", thereby giving perhaps people the wrong impression of this artiste, while ignoring better tracks like "Lay Me Down" and "Homeless". I don't consider either single to be properly representative of Marilyn Martin, and I really believe they missed an important point, and a chance maybe for her to break big. As it is, we continue on with the boppy "The Wait is Over", again quite dancy and with a  drumbeat that slightly echoes Phil Collins' "You Can't Hurry Love", but with some pretty impressive guitar which largely goes unnoticed, and uncredited.

The second ballad comes in the form of "Homeless", where again Marilyn reduces everything to basics, with a quiet digital piano melody almost like someone walking, short, booming percussion and a passionate and aching vocal as she relates the tale of homeless people better than, I believe, "Another Day in Paradise" ever managed. With the instrumentation so sparse and measured, it's left to her to carry the song, which she does in a voice almost cracking with emotion, some very nice backing vocals and then a beautiful little burst of Spanish guitar, and the album closes very well on an AOR tune which again recalls the best of Branigan, as "Pretender" brings down the curtain.

Dropped by her label, disappointed with her lack of success after her one big shot with Collins on the number one single "Separate lives", Marilyn Martin went back to her original career as a backup singer, a position from which she had been "discovered" by head of Atlantic Records, Doug Morris, who thought he saw something in her that should be encouraged. Sadly, her attempt to break into the big time faltered after two albums, and she eventually got out of the music business entirely.

Nevertheless, though this may not be by any means a perfect album, it's a short glimpse into something that could have been big, a talent that could, perhaps, had it been handled and managed better, have blossomed into something quite remarkable. This could, indeed, have been serious. But it wasn't to be, and after dabbling in the music world for a few years, Marilyn decided her future lay elsewhere.

TRACK LISTING

1. Possessive Love
2. This is Serious
3. Best is Yet to Come
4. Quiet Desperation
5. Lay Me Down
6. Love Takes No Prisoners
7. Try Me
8. The Wait is Over
9. Homeless
10. Pretender

[Nimbly9]

This is a superb journal TH.  Love discovering 80's pop that I didn't know.

[Trollheart]

Brood - My Friend the Chocolate Cake - 1994 (Liberation Music)

I've said it before and, guess what? I'll say it again: sometimes the only thing to attract me to a new artist is the name, either of the band or the album, or sometimes both. This is one I just came across yesterday, and had to check out. With a name like "My Friend the Chocolate Cake" it just had to be worth delving into! Turns out it's not such an obscure album after all, winning the Australian Recording Industry Association (ARIA) Award for Best Contemporary Album, 1995. So it's well known and appreciated, at least Down Under.

But who, or what, is or are My Friend the Chocolate Cake? Well, it seems they're a duo, based out of Melbourne, consisting of David Bridie and Helen Mountfort. Both were part of another Australian combo called Not Drowning, Waving, but started this as a side-project, continuing on after the original band had split. Their music is characterised by mostly acoustic pop with folk tinges, as well as elements of chamber music and other influences like Celtic traditional sounds. Bridie is the main songwriter, takes the lead vocal and also plays the piano, while Mountfort is a cellist, and leads the in situ string ensemble that always plays on their albums. To date, the band have released seven studio albums, their last being 2011's Fiasco. This is their second album, and was re-released, along with most of their catalogue, in 2005.

It starts, quite beautifully, on slow cello and strings with soft choral vocals as "Dance (You Stupid Monster to My Soft Song)", already a candidate for strange track title of the album, flows out of the speakers and into your ears. Some lovely piano joins in and it's clear this is going to be an instrumental, as it proves to be. And a short track to open, just over two and a half minutes. Ambient folk music? You'd not be too far wrong, to be honest. In contrast, "I've Got a Plan" recalls the best of Deacon Blue, with a laidback poppy number, a soft drumbeat carrying the piano and a little further in, viola, cello and violins, David Bridie's voice calming and soothing but with a slightly ragged edge that gives you the idea he can let loose when he wants to. A lot of emotion in this, and then we're into "Throwing it Away", with a little more punch but still quite poppy.

It's mostly the piano of Bridie, as well as his almost hypnotic voice that pulls at your attention throughout this album, backed up by Helen Mountfort and her sometimes mournful, sometimes energetic cello, and the rest of the string section. Some great upbeat fiddle or violin on this track, and it's the most uptempo on the album so far. "Greenkeeping" brings in some gentle mandolin to join Mountfort's cello, very pastoral, and another instrumental, with some very celtic overtones, then Bridie is back, and very welcome at that, for "The Old Years", where Mountfort's soulful cello melds perfectly with his tired, wounded voice on a lovely little bitter ballad.

The only cover on the album, Magazine's "Song from Under the Floorboards" is a lot more uptempo, with almost Bowie-style vocals from David and a jumping little beat, the song more piano than cello-driven, though Helen certainly plays her part. There's a slight sense of Men at Work about the song too, then it's back to very celtic beats for the very boppy "Jimmy Stynes", great reels and jigs with some fine mandolin and ukulele (yeah, that's what I said!) taking us into the longest track on the album, at just over five minutes, "Slow Way to Go Down". This slows everything down to a crawl, and is the closest to a dark song on the album. Trudging along at the sort of pace that usually accompanies funeral marches, it's almost Nick Cave-like in its use of dark cello and slow, measured drumming, Bridie's vocal sharp and thick, with some heavy, almost discordant piano lending to the feeling of unease in this track. It's the more unsettling as it's so out of step with the rest of the album, which mostly seems to be going for the cheery, breezy, happy angle, and for something like this to slap you upside the head out of left field: well, it's a shock.

It's followed by what can only be called a virtuoso performance by Helen Mountfort on the cello, and with some ghostly vocals from the lady too, though more in a backing style than lead, even though there are in fact no lead vocals. She's really using her voice here as another instrument, you feel, and what she sings is not anywhere near as important as how she sings. Halfway through the acoustic guitar of Andrew Richardson joins in, and "Bottom and the Rustics", essentially an instrumental, takes on a more celtic and then even heavier edge as the song moves towards its end. "Rosetta" has a much more lively violin opening it, and Bridie is back to sing a simple love song that licks along nicely, but ultimately comes across as something of a throwaway; MFTCC are much better than this.

A point they quickly prove, if any doubted it, with the heartbreakingly beautiful piano ballad "The Gossip", which in places reminds me of the best of Roger Waters. Helen's sumptuous cello again works its magic, as do the violins and violas in the ensemble, all creating a backdrop for Bridie's soft but gently angry vocal, wistful and bitter. I'd have to say this is the standout, and considering how excellent this album is, that's praise indeed, and not a decision taken lightly. The title track is another instrumental love affair between Helen and David, gentle piano meshing almost seamlessly with flowing cello, no percussion to speak of, no other instruments, and no words needed.

The musical marriage is carried through into the next track, the oddly-titled "Yandoit", where some tin whistle from Andrew Carswell adds a very celtic feel to the music before it suddenly kicks up a gear with some organic vocals from Bridie, more sounds than words, though I think I hear the word "Why" in there; again, what's sung is not important. It's the sounds that you listen to, not the lyric, if indeed there is one. This takes us into the almost bluegrass-tinged "The Pramsitters", which ups the tempo a lot and gives your feet something to tap to, until Bridie's slow gentle piano takes it all right back for "Aberystwyth", some more lovely lonely tin whistle from Carswell creating the scenery against which Bridie sings his song of longing for home in the Welsh highlands.

And ukulele, of all things, carries "The Red Wallpaper", a short instrumental and showcase for Greg Pattern, somewhat in the vein of Waits' weirder and more organic tunes, before heavy cello and violin introduce "John Cain Avenue", with Bridie's strong piano adding its muscle, a lovely little semi-ballad to take us to the closer, simply entitled "Low", and a showpiece for Bridie on the piano, with Michael Barker adding some effective but not overly intrusive percussion, and the vocal from David so low as to be almost inaudible most of the time. Low-key ending indeed.

I would compare the style of this band somewhat, though certainly not entirely, to Prefab Sprout at their less energetic and, as already mentioned, Deacon Blue, mostly in their quieter moments. But it would be unfair to lump My Friend the Chocolate Cake in with those, or any other bands, and just write them off as another pop band, for they are certainly not. With strong elements of classical, ambient, folk and celtic influences, this band is something very unique and special, and I'm very impressed. I've always had a liking for chocolate cake, but now I have even more reason to.

TRACK LISTING

1. Dance (You Stupid Monster to My Soft Song)
2. I've Got a Plan
3. Throwing it Away
4. Greenkeeping
5. The Old Years
6. Song from Under the Floorboards
7. Jimmy Stynes
8. Slow Way to Go Down
9. Bottom and the Rustics
10. Rosetta
11. The Gossip
12. Brood
13. Yandoit
14. The Pramsitters
15. Aberystwyth
16. The Red Wallpaper
17. John Cain Avenue
18. Low

[Trollheart]

Maria McKee - Maria McKee - 1989 (Geffen)

You know, I sometimes wonder if it's me. This album produced a chorus of yawns and shrugs when I selected it for my choice on our Album Club on Music Banter, and I just don't understand that reaction. To me, this is an amazing album, full of excellent and thought-provoking songs taking in a range of styles, that shows a burgeoning talent whose chance at the big time was sadly sabotaged by, of all things, a hit single, which overshadowed her writing talent and remained forever the albatross around her neck that eventually dragged her down into undeserved obscurity and left her to be forgotten, other than being the girl who sang "that song", oh yeah.

I know my music tastes aren't shared by everyone, but nobody could see anything good, anything special, anything unique or promising in this album? Is it just me? Nah. Nah, it's them. They don't know good music when it kicks them in the - uh, face. Has to be them. How could it be me? Listen to this and see if you disagree.


Sometimes you just buy an album on spec, you know? On instinct, or on recommendation. I think this was the latter, with a bit of the other two thrown in: I feel that I read about this in my publication of choice as a twenty-something, Kerrang!, and they had praised it highly. This was prior to her hit with "Show Me Heaven", which would the following year propel her to international stardom, but forever paint her as a one-hit wonder, this despite being already known for her helming of the rock band Lone Justice and having written Fergal Sharkey's chart-topping hit, "A Good Heart".

But this album was pretty much ignored, reaching a measley 120 on the US Billboard chart, and failing to chart any singles released. Is that because it's a crappy record? Quite the reverse: as a solo debut this is nothing short of stunning, but in an era obsessed with quick-fire, repeating formulas for success, thoughtful, insightful music like this became criminally overlooked, and it wasn't until "Show Me Heaven" made it that people would stop saying "Maria who?"

The album opens on hard acoustic guitar in a sort of folky/rock bopper, and certainly one of the longer song titles I've come across. "I've Forgotten What it Was in You (That Put the Need in Me)" is filled out by breezy organ and piano, but it's the soulful, aching voice of McKee herself that takes charge and demands attention, like a cross between a country songstress and a rock chick, retaining the best of both. It's a powerful, bitter, almost wistfully angry song that really gets things going well, and some well-placed fiddle from Steve Wickham really adds to the country sound, then the mood slows down for "To Miss Someone", with a sort of James Taylor feel to it, a downbeat song of realisation as Maria confides "I'm petrified of running/ Out of things to do" and admits "Guess I'm not so independent after all."

Lovely piano lines here, backed by solid organ and some gentle guitar, and you really get a feeling for Maria's songwriting when you see how she speaks to the everyman (and woman) in songs like "Am I the Only One (Who's Ever Felt This Way)?" - you can really idenitify with her lost loves and her failures, see that she's not some big star writing about other people's experiences, but a human being who has been hurt, loved and lost, and who often feels as confused, betrayed and dismayed as you and I do. This is a big, open country mid-pacer, with great fiddle, mandolin and guitar driving the song, in an upbeat melody though the subject is certainly not happy.

She teams up with the famous Robbie Robertson for one of the standouts, the lovely, slow, gentle "Nobody's Child", which rides mostly on the mournful organ sound laid down by Bruce Brody, with a great little guitar solo in the middle and of course Maria's wistful, almost tearful voice rising above it all. "Panic Beach", up next, is an angrier song, lyrically very in Springsteen territory, on acoustic guitar and piano. This song is a real vehicle for the versatility of Maria McKee's vocals, and she reaches some notes that quite surprise you, as Brody's organ drones along in the background, adding a sense of gravitas and weight to the song. The sense of desperation, trying to survive, comes though strongly as she describes her landlord in lines like "If a tear comes to his eye/ He may let a month go by/ Before he takes my key" and "I'll do my time/ Then say goodbye/ To Panic Beach."

Rocking out to the full then, another long title, "Can't Pull the Wool Down (Over the Little Lamb's Eyes)" kicks the tempo right back up as the mistakes referred to, and cried over in the first few tracks are thrown aside and a fierce determination not to be fooled again takes their place. Another great organ performance by Brody and some powerful backing vocals, and Maria screaming her anger and frustration and promise to open her eyes in future makes this song, yeah, another standout. There are a few, believe me.

It's good to see that McKee writes, or co-writes every track on the album, bar the closer, and can she write a good song! We go all gospel for "More Love Than a Heart Can Hold", with Brody excelling himself on the ivories, and a vocal chorus to wring tears from a stone, Maria singing like a diva possessed who has seen the light, her voice seeming to reach to the very heavens themselves, climbing on the strength of her love and devotion, then her anger returns for "This Property is Condemned". Carried on sharp acoustic and electric guitar backed up by Hammond organ, it's nevertheless a stripped-down sound which again allows Maria to shine on vocals, her rage and frustration reaching dangerous levels, her band knowing just when to back her and when to fall back and leave her to fly solo.

"Breathe" is a dark, moody grinder of a love song, if you can imagine such a thing. Slow, heartbeat drumming and rising keyboards with a few pin-sharp flourishes on the guitar shape this song, flute and mandolin coming in to add their own touches, with some really nice double-tracked backing vocals helping maintain the atmosphere and mood of the song. We close on what I consider to be the standout, not just because it's a simple piano ballad, but because it approaches the whole idea of love and dating in a somewhat unique way.

Featuring Maria herself on the piano, "Has He Got a Friend for Me" is the only song on the album she does not have a hand in writing, penned as it is for her by Richard Thompson. It's the painfully simple question of a girl who is not pretty or socially active, and wants to know if her more glamourous friend has someone she can date. Something in the vein, lyrically at any rate, of Janis Ian's "At Seventeen", it's quite heartbreaking as she breathes "If he knows someone who's graceful and wise /Doesn't mind a girl who is clumsy and shy/ I don't mind going with someone that I've never seen..." A beautiful yet painful end to a wonderful album.

I personally hated it when Maria hit fame with "Show Me Heaven", as rather than then reissuing her album and getting it more notice, the label ignored it completely and she ended up basically living on that as her only claim to fame. She obviously hated it, as she refused for years to play the song live, and who could blame her? But if you like well-written, well-thought-out and, well, real music, you could do a lot worse than take a listen to this album. Just don't hold that single against her, okay?

TRACK LISTING

1. I've Forgotten What it Was in You (That Put the Need in Me)
2. To Miss Someone
3. Am I the Only One (Who's Ever Felt This Way)?
4. Nobody's Child
5. Panic Beach
6. Can't Pull the Wool Down (Over the Little Lamb's Eyes)
7. More Love Than a Heart Can Hold
8. This Property is Condemned
9. Breathe
10. Has He Got a Friend for Me?

[Trollheart]

Water Sign - Chris Rea - 1983 (Magnet)

The first time I heard this album was when a workmate brought a copy in on cassette tape (insert humourous reference to my old age and technology now deemed ancient here!), which is actually quite apt, as when the album was offered to Magnet they were so disinterested that they wouldn't cough up for the recording fee so that it could be made professionally, and instead Rea had to offer them the demo he made, which was overdubbed a little here and there. Ironically, it sold very well and of course in the fullness of time Chris Rea became a huge property, selling out large venues and earning platinum status for many of his albums.

You can actually hear the rawness on the album, and yes, in a lot of places it does sound like a demo, but to be honest that doesn't take away from it at all. In fact, it kind of endears you to the album. At a time when so many artistes were overdubbing to death, tripling vocals and using all sort of electronic wizardry to make what were often mediocre songs into hits, Rea's honest and earnest approach came as something of a breath of fresh air.

The quality of his songwriting, and the power of his voice is evident from the very beginning, when you hear opener "Nothing's Happening By the Sea", a slow, lazy ballad, with sounds of waves and surf and seagulls conjuring up nothing less than an ideal relaxing day, looking out over the horizon and watching the waves come and go. Recalls echoes of Otis Redding's classic "Dock of the Bay". It's Rea's deep, soulful and passionate voice that really carries the album though: every song, you feel like he's singing just for you. The opening lines of "Nothing's Happening..." set the scene, to a lovely, unhurried guitar track, laid over a deep, bassy keyboard harmony: "Salty river falls asleep in the bay/ Always gets there, never early, never late." There's also a really nice harmonica solo in the song, adding to the almost acoustic feel of the song and making you feel even more like closing your eyes and just letting yourself get lost in the melody. If you ever feel under pressure and need to tell yourself to relax, this is the song to do it to.

"Deep Water" raises the tempo considerably, very much driven by the rhythm section: great bass line. Cool saxophone solo too! Then we're into "Candles", a very fragile, gentle beginning, which develops into a powerful little song, concerned with freedom and oppression, and on which we first hear Chris on the guitar. It's followed by "Love's Strange Ways", a nice little ballad which again suits Rea's deep, rich voice, and "Texas" is another ballad. Curiously, the same title would appear on his  album The Road to Hell, but a totally different song.

Things get a bit funky then for "Let it Loose", the drum machines giving this song a touch of the discos, though it's still a great little song, with some nice guitar and some serious synth. It leads into "I Can Hear Your Heart Beat", which became one of Chris Rea's first major hit singles; with its boppy, danceable beat it became a favourite with clubbers, giving Rea a foot into a world he had perhaps not ventured into prior to this. Next up is "Midnight Blue", a slow song but not a ballad, - about a guy buying a suit, would you believe? - with some great slide guitar. "Hey You" is just a throwaway piece of fun, almost calypso in its rhythm, but the album ends on "Out of the Darkness", which is perhaps one of the better tracks on the album, boppy with a great bassline and nice keys, great sax too, certainly closes the album in style.

It's a vindication of Chris Rea's talent that an album recorded on so low a budget and with such lack of interest from a record label could still produce hit singles and provide him a springboard to a long and successful career. After The Road to Hell in 1989 Chris Rea parted company with his record label, Magnet. Considering how dismissive they had been of him about this album, I'm surprised he stayed with them that long. I bet someone's sorry they hadn't faith in him.

TRACK LISTING

1. Nothng's Happening By the Sea
2. Deep Water
3. Candles
4. Love's Strange Ways
5. Texas
6. Let it Loose
7. I Can Hear Your Heart Beat
8. Midnight Blue
9. Hey You
10. Out of the Darkness

[Trollheart]

Fantastic - Wham! - 1982 (Innervision)

Hell, you want pop, you got pop! And you could not get more pop back in the early to mid 1980s than these guys, who seemed to come from nowhere and exploded onto the scene, starting not only a craze in white T-shirts with snappy slogans, but also springboarding the career of one half of the duo, who would go in a totally different direction and become a worldwide superstar and respected songwriter and musician. But first he had to make his mark. And how did he do it? By roping in his childhood mate to play guitar and pose with him while he planned world domination. How did it turn out? Well, check the title of this, the debut album.


Yeah, it's that one. Any of us who had a kid sister at the time this came out would have been driven mad by the incessant bop-bop-bop of tracks like "Bad boys", "Young Guns" and of course "Wham! Rap", possibly one of the first/only times a sentence was composed of two words, the first finished with an exclamation mark, making it really two sentences... Not only that, but that bloody sleeve! The sneering arrogance of the duo on the album cover just made you want to punch them both in the face until your fist was sore!

Of course, that wasn't the end of it. Far from it. Two years later Wham! Would release their second album, which would do even better than the first, inflicting on us such "classics" as "Wake Me Up Before You Go-go" and "Everything She Wants", though in fairness it would finally point to the development of the songwriting of one of the duo (guess which one?) in the closer, another number one hit which would in fact be credited only to George Michael, and would signal the beginning of the end for Wham!, as George, emerging as really the only talented one, embarked on a solo career that would lift him to the sort of heights that would make even the big success he had here with Wham! seem paltry and fleeting. Which it sort of was.

But enough of the history of this band. We're concentrating here on their debut, the album that introduced them to the world, set a generation of females all a-quiver and a generation of males sneering that Ridgeley and Michael were gay. Prophetic words, in the end. Well, sort of. Fantastic unleashed Wham! (What? Yes I'm afraid the exclamation mark is very important: part of the image, dont'cha know?) on the world, and how the DJs loved them! For a long time, they could do no wrong, and when they broke up in 1986 there weren't quite the scenes of devastation we saw with the demise of Take That, and more recently Westlife, but their poor fans still found it hard to take.

That was all in the future though, and in 1982 this album delivered four hit singles for Wham!, all inside the top ten. Overnight sensation is a hackneyed term, especially these days when stars can be discovered, manufactured, marketed, promoted, broken and forgotten all in the time it takes Simon Cowell to count a thousandth of his vast fortune. But back in '82 there was no X-Factor, no You Tube, no quick route to the top for musicians or pop acts, and for a band to be unknown one day and within a few weeks be a household name was not all that usual. To their credit, Wham! Did not rise to the top on the back of a huge cheque book and cigar style manager's coattails, but promoted themselves, and only accidentally made an appearance on Top of the Pops when another act pulled out and they had to fill in. Their performance that night earned them overnight success and the Wham! Train was ready to roll.

And roll it did.

Some of you may look at Fantastic and say, why bother reviewing it? It's only just over half an hour long in total, with eight tracks, half of which we know as they were big, big hit singles. Yes, well normally I would treat such hits with my usual you-know-these-so-I-won't-go-deeply-into-them philosophy, but because I'm putting the entire album under my microscope, I actually will be looking at even the well-known tracks deeply, trying to figure out why they were hits, if they deserved to be, or if they were just lucky to catch the record-buyer's imagination and frame of mind at the time they were released.

Wish me luck: I'm goin' in!

It's typical eighties disco beats as "Bad Boys" opens the album, with some trumpet and brass that was becoming more popular around that time on disco and pop records, especially thanks to the solo career of Phil Collins, with a certain flavour of Earth, Wind and Fire though without of course their innate class. From the off though you can hear George Michael's confident and powerful vocal delivery, and his presence is all over this album, whereas Andrew Ridgeley is immediately reduced to the status of a session man, playing the guitar and adding backing vocals, but really, there's no reason why George wouldn't have had great success with this album had he released it solo. Then again, there is the image, which was one of the defining factors of Wham!'s success, so perhaps he might not have been such a big hit on his own at that early time, but this certainly sets the scene for the future. His voice is a little more falsetto than we became later used to, but as Waits once remarked (not about him), he sure can sing, that sonofabitch!

But the song itself is throwaway, certainly caught the spirit of the time though and became a big hit for them. It's followed by another disco styled piece, a little funkier in "A Ray of Sunshine", another Michael-penned track, with some cleverly-sped-up backing vocals, more brass and it must be said a nicely smooth bassline. Another "good time" song, it hasn't got much to say, although others on this album would, surprisingly perhaps, pose some hard questions for the "yoof" of that era. Some biggish names in the plethora of backing vocalists, too, with D.C. Lee, who would go on to work with Paul Weller in the Style Council, and Katie Kissoon, known for her work with Meat Loaf.

Next up is a cover of the Miracles' "Love Machine", which gives the album a certain amount of street-cred, and was a good decision by the guys, or the label. I'm not that familiar with the song, though I do know it, but I think Wham! do a fairly okay job with it, although nothing special. If nothing else it hopefully introduced the work of Smokey Robinson's band and the sound of motown to a generation of kids, who let's be honest probably didn't care. Still, if this turned on just one percent of those who bought or heard the album to motown, it was a good move. I do have to say though that so far I really haven't heard anything remarkable from Ridgeley on the guitar, and his contribution seems workmanlike rather than indispensable or definitive.

Everything changes though with the next track, one of their bigger hit singles. One of the first rap songs by a British band, and the first on which Andrew Ridgeley contributed to the writing, "Wham! Rap (Enjoy What You Do)" took them into the top ten, and it must be said that at least here Andrew's jangling guitar takes command, coming far more to the fore, though as ever it's Michael's vocal, which alternates between low baritone and high falsetto, that draws the attention. The horns play their part, and the guitar is at times low down and dirty enough to almost qualify as rock. Well, not really, but nearly. The song contains a message, perhaps the first on the album, but not a great one really, as it glorifies the delights of not having a job and being on the dole: "The benefit gang are gonna pay" and "Having fun with the boys/ Down the (welfare) line" and therefore encouraged youngsters not to look for a job, as George cries "Do you want to work/ Are you gonna have fun/Do you want to be a jerk/ Are you gonna have fun?" Great piano work on this I must say, very funky, and some pretty good instrumentation all round. A far cry though from George's later, more pensive and deep work, such as "Mother's Pride" or "A Different Corner"...

Another big hit for the boys, even bigger than the last one above, and the only other song on the album to feature writing by Ridgeley, "Club Tropicana" is a dig at the "Club 18-30" package tour crowd, and is played in a sort of "Copacabana" style, with more happy brass and some nice sprinkly piano, and a more level vocal by George, more in a bar/club vein. With four hit singles on Fantastic, that was probably enough, but even so, it's surprising that the only slower song on the album wasn't released as a single, as it surely would have made an impact on the charts, if only for its difference in tempo. "Nothing Looks the Same in the Light" is a slow, moody, brooding piece (well, for Wham!, that is) and provides a nice respite from all the disco and dancing and mostly empty-headed songs, and could indeed be seen as the morning-after-the-night-before, when the clearer head prevails and reality asserts itself. Another fine George Michael composition, it's again indicative of the sort of classics he would later write when he pushed ahead on his own, jettisoning Ridgeley and forging his own mega-successful solo career.

Perhaps that song was considered too "mature" for Wham!'s mostly teenage audience and fanbase, but "Come on" gets the party restarted with another dancy, uptempo and ultimately empty and vacuous number, redolent of just about every boyband that has ever existed, or probably ever will. A funky disco beat, more falsetto vocals, handclap percussion, chunky bass, but in the end there's very little meat on them bones, and the album ends on their biggest hit single at the time, "Young Guns (Go for it!)" which took them to the number three slot and catapulted them to international stardom from a position of mostly obscurity. A little more cerebral than "Wham! Rap", this song concerns the dangers of settling down too early and losing the chance to sow your wild oats, and so was of course popular with the younger set, probably the lads, though I think you'll find few who would ever admit it - particularly those who are now happily (or otherwise) married!

It has a big, bouncing synth beat, backed with slappy bass and almost Bee Gees style vocal harmonies, and also contains a rap from George Michael, making this perhaps the first pop album to have two raps on it, both released as singles, both exceptionally successful. The brass section again helps to drive the song along, definitely imbuing a sense of soul into it, and there are elements of Kid Creole and the Coconuts in there too, particularly "Stool Pigeon" and "Annie I'm Not Your Daddy". It's also the first to properly feature contributions from the female backing singers, one of them taking an active vocal role as the main protagonist's (what is this, a novel??) fiance, though whether it's D.C. Lee or Sherrie Holliman I don't know. The song is followed by a short snippet of pianola music, god only know why.

I suppose the main draw this album had - other than the "two good-looking guys" on the cover - was its sense of rebellion and giving the fingers to authority, in songs like "Wham! Rap" and "Young Guns", allowing "the kids" to think/believe they could get by on a tough attitude and a dole payment. Ultimately of course, George Michael would remedy this by basically growing up as a musician and putting out some very thought-provoking music, even if it wasn't always to my taste. Ridgeley would quit the music business after Wham! broke up, following one pretty disastrous solo album, and concentrate on motor racing and acting.

The Wham! phenomenon lasted barely four years, but was enough to establish them as top-selling pop artists and pave the way for George Michael to conquer the world as a solo artist. No doubt some Wham! fans followed George's first few albums, and no doubt many remain fans of his to this day, but similarly, it has to be expected that many lost interest when he stopped doing the "pop" thing and became a more "serious" artist. I'm sure he doesn't exactly bemoan their loss though, having picked up millions more fans along the way and made his fortune. Perhaps in a way Wham! paved the way for the later boybands of the eighties and nineties, and today, but really, looking back there were no other acts like them. Perhaps the Pet Shop Boys, though they worked in a different sphere. You can say Wham! milked the formula and the success it brought them, but what artist doesn't, and who could blame them for that?

As for the album? I still see nothing special in it. The music is pretty  mediocre: high-energy sure, danceable and with the odd proper message, but on the face of it fairly banal, and its format would be repeated by other bands, boy and otherwise, down through the decades. I think what worked for these guys was the image: if Wham! had not been two "pretty boys", or if one of them (or both) had been a girl, then I wonder would they have had the success that they did? In the end, I have to conclude that for a short album with only eight tracks, one of which was a cover, "Fantastic" was a prime example of style triumphing over substance.

TRACK LISTING

1. Bad Boys
2. A Ray of Sunshine
3. Love Machine
4. Wham! Rap (Enjoy What You Do)
5. Club Tropicana
6. Nothing Looks the Same in the Light
7. Come on
8. Young Guns (Go for it!)