What's the latest movie you've seen?

[costa_oscura]

Movie night at your place during elementary school slumber parties must've been all anyone could talk about at recess. 

None of those things happened in my childhood, but thanks for asking. 

[Trollheart]

I'd have to agree, particularly after you took me up so wrong about subtitles, that it's unfair to judge someone from a single comment or impression you form of them. Jansz is a cool guy, and I'm sure has been through plenty of trauma (haven't we all?) so I think making that assumption in the light of the hard time you gave me over a misinterpretation/misunderstanding of something I said is the wrong way to approach people.

[costa_oscura]

I'd have to agree, particularly after you took me up so wrong about subtitles, that it's unfair to judge someone from a single comment or impression you form of them. Jansz is a cool guy, and I'm sure has been through plenty of trauma (haven't we all?) so I think making that assumption in the light of the hard time you gave me over a misinterpretation/misunderstanding of something I said is the wrong way to approach people.

Just because I thanked you for your apology doesn't mean you didn't deserve to be called on your assumptive b.s. about me, troll.  I didn't want to drag that discussion out further with you, wanted to be done with it and move on.  But here you are, bringing it up again, and again making assumptions about me, as others here have done, without knowing anything about me.  That seems to be who you are and I'm not going to let you get away with that shit with me.

As a mental health professional, what I do know without question is that when people have a hard time identifying with others experiencing core level difficulties, such as survival, whether they'll live to see the next day, as the characters in the movie Flow are shown on screen enduring, and state they find it "relaxing," that's a clear sign of lacking empathy.  As I've written in my other comments here, that's not completely unusual.  There are plenty of people on the planet who live their lives lacking empathy.  Some who do lead completely serviceable lives with nothing worrisome or troubling about those lives.  Others who lack empathy engage in more clearly problematic and sometimes criminal behavior.  Everybody handles it differently.  There's no one clear outcome with that issue.

If, however, as others have stated here Janzoon usually exhibits some measure of empathy, then perhaps he's unable to do so here, with regard to recognizing the hardships the animal characters in the movie Flow endure because he's never experienced the challenge they face in the movie.  He's never had his survival openly threatened, as the animals in the film do.  He still may have some measure of empathy, but not enough to truly understand what it means to have one's daily survival challenged.  The lack of that experience in his life has dulled his appreciation and empathy for the animal characters in the movie who do undergo that experience.

I'm essentially calling him out for the same thing you assumed of me, troll, except my focus is not on racial or financial privilege.  It's on Janzoon's apparent privilege in having lived a life thus far having not ever endured having his daily survival challenged and the lack of understanding it's resulted in.  I've had my survival challenged many times and am going through it again now.  I have no interest in sharing any of that here because that's not why I joined this forum.  I have no interest in sharing that part of my life on this particular platform.

But if you can't recognize this person's apparent privilege, which you took your time to assume of me, the good fortune to live a life where you've never had your survival threatened, then you're just as much of a hypocrite as I thought you were when you first tried to come after me without knowing anything about me or my life experiences.  And if that's the part you're going to play here, troll, then you can step off and leave me alone.  I don't want to hear from you or engage in any further discussion with you.  I hope that's not who you are, but you've done nothing so far to prove me wrong.

[Buck_Mulligan]

I've not seen the movie, but have read a Review. It's been Oscar nominated so must have some merit.
I think Costa probably has a valid point, but has gone overboard defending it by being unnecessarily argumentative.
People are entitled to have different opinions.

[Janszoon]

So it seems like you've never endured potential danger to your life, to make it to the next day, to your ability to support yourself.  It must be nice to live without those experiences.

I have definitely "endured potential danger", weirdo. Who are you exactly?

[costa_oscura]

I have definitely "endured potential danger", weirdo. Who are you exactly?

I'm the person calling you on your b.s., Janzoon, that's who.  So if you want to call names and assert that you've "endured potential danger," then share the proof.  What danger have you endured, Janzoon?  Has your survival literally been in danger?  Because mine has and I understand that fear.  Do you?

[costa_oscura]

I've not seen the movie, but have read a Review. It's been Oscar nominated so must have some merit.
I think Costa probably has a valid point, but has gone overboard defending it by being unnecessarily argumentative.
People are entitled to have different opinions.

A lack of empathy is not an "opinion," Buck.  It deserves to be questioned, don't you think?  Not that a person can't exist without empathy and doesn't deserve the right to live their life as they choose.  But if they're sharing it publicly and expecting others to accept it as "truth," wouldn't you say that's a problem, Buck?  Because I think it is.

[SGR]

A lack of empathy is not an "opinion," Buck.  It deserves to be questioned, don't you think?  Not that a person can't exist without empathy and doesn't deserve the right to live their life as they choose.  But if they're sharing it publicly and expecting others to accept it as "truth", wouldn't you say that's a problem, Buck?  Because I think it is.

Janzs gave an opinion on an animated fictional film and described it as relaxing because of its music and animation. Nowhere did he describe it as 'the truth' of the movie. How does one go from seeing someone's mild-mannered take on a film everyone enjoyed to implying they lack empathy and haven't endured potential danger in their life? It seems fairly obvious that the movie connected to you and your life experiences very strongly, and that's cool  - it's great when art can resonate like that. But why get bent out of shape and argumentative with others who enjoy it and come away from it with different impressions than you do?

[Guybrush]

I agree with @SGR here, @costa_oscura. I don't think someone should have their entire person questioned in such a way due to a comment about how they enjoy a movie. Neither do I think your assessment of Jans seems accurate. He might be a stoic perhaps, but doesn't deserve your attack. And he's certainly no MAGA supporter.

[costa_oscura]

But why get bent out of shape and argumentative with others who enjoy it and come away from it with different impressions than you do?

Because it's alarming to me when someone expresses a lack of empathy so openly.  Why isn't that alarming to you, SGR?  Why does that behavior not worry you? ...Unless you don't see the problem?  Unless you think this is perfectly normal behavior?

I agree with @SGR here, @costa_oscura. I don't think someone should have their entire person questioned in such a way due to a comment about how they enjoy a movie. Neither do I think your assessment of Jans seems accurate. He might be a stoic perhaps, but doesn't deserve your attack. And he's certainly no MAGA supporter.

I never suggested he was, so I'm not sure where that assessment comes from, other than the groupthink here that seems to function on the "let's attack the new member" concept.  It's unfortunate, but not unusual in forums like these.  ...But I got it: shut up, don't question the establishment, toe the line to the status quo.  That's how things are here.  Lesson learned.  Real openness you've cultivated here. 

[SGR]

Because it's alarming to me when someone expresses a lack of empathy so openly.  Why isn't that alarming to you, SGR?  Why does that behavior not worry you? ...Unless you don't see the problem?  Unless you think this is perfectly normal behavior?

He hasn't 'expressed a lack of empathy', he expressed his opinions on one film. It's your opinion that it means he lacks empathy. I think it's important to reestablish some perspective here. This is the movie Jansz found relaxing:



Based on all the pearl-clutching you've been doing, you'd think he made these comments about a snuff film or something.

I never suggested he was, so I'm not sure where that assessment comes from, other than the groupthink here that seems to function on the "let's attack the new member" concept.  It's unfortunate, but not unusual in forums like these.  ...But I got it: shut up, don't question the establishment, toe the line to the status quo.  That's how things are here.  Lesson learned.  Real openness you've cultivated here. 

Give me a break, trying to recast yourself as a victim here is silly. People aren't attacking you, they're pushing back on your attempts to impugn Janzs's empathy and experiences based on his reaction to one animated film. It has nothing to do with the fact that you're the 'new member', it has to do with people disagreeing with how you're approaching this conversation.

[Trollheart]

Hmm. "Just because I accepted your apology doesn't mean etc". So I guess you didn't really accept my apology, accept that a comment I had made about - well, not even you, but people in general - was taken totally out of context, and your behaviour here towards others shows that it's typical of how you react. I didn't read your wall of text - I have the copyright on them - because now I see you're just going to dig your heels in, double down on what I said (even though I explained it and you seemed to understand/accept that explanation) and make out that you're being attacked. Did it ever occur to you that, as the old saying goes, if ten people are telling you you're dead, lie down? If everyone thinks you're overreacting, here's a thought: maybe you are. It's not a "groupthink" or clique mentality here - we frequently disagree with each other. But when everyone is saying the same thing, there must be some truth in it.

Just take a step back and look at what you're saying. Because a guy you don't know, have never met, know nothing about, calls an animated movie about animals (albeit, apparently, in danger) "relaxing", you make a snap judgement on his personality, and when everyone else tells you to cool it and that you're wrong, you just stamp your foot like a child and say no no I'm right and you're all wrong and now you're all attacking me. It's a real storm in a teacup, because all you had to say was something along the lines of well I don't agree but whatever, and nobody would have cared. Now you've started to alienate everyone here, which is sad, as it's the first time a new member has reacted in this way. But if that's who you are, if that's the kind of person you are, there's nothing anyone can do about it. I wish you would see that you have made a mountain out of a place where small furry animals live underground, and just drop it, let it go.

As for me bringing back up our little spat, don't you see you're doing exactly the same thing as you accused me of? Judging someone without a clue as to who they are? I did that (in your opinion, though not intentionally) and apologised for it and pointed out my reasons. You're doing the same thing, but won't apologise or even accept you're wrong. That's not going to win you any friends, and it's not going to help the dynamic here.

[Trollheart]

I'd also point out that what you're doing, both with Jansz and SGR, and to an extent with me, amounts to a series of personal attacks, and we don't allow those there. Ribbing is fine, slagging off is fine, disagreeing with others is perfectly fine. But if you attack someone's personal integrity, that's not fine.

So please, drop the attitude. Everyone will be a lot happier just to move past this. In the end, it's not worth all this upset.

From our forum rules:

Hi,

Thanks for checking out our rules. We expect you to adhere to the following:

Don't troll, spam, shitpost or be nasty to others
Be intelligible and post in English
Don't post porn or images that can reasonably be considered shocking without using [ spoiler ] tags and a disclaimer
Don't come here just to sell or promote something
Don't plagiarize others' content
Don't register multiple accounts
Don't impersonate anyone else

[Buck_Mulligan]

A lack of empathy is not an "opinion," Buck.  It deserves to be questioned, don't you think?  Not that a person can't exist without empathy and doesn't deserve the right to live their life as they choose.  But if they're sharing it publicly and expecting others to accept it as "truth," wouldn't you say that's a problem, Buck?  Because I think it is.

I'm not sure if you completely misunderstood, or are just being obtuse. I never claimed empathy was an opinion. I was referring to his opinion of the movie. You're the one who characterized his opinion as a lack of empathy.
Empathy is a multi-dimensional concept that has multi-dimensional characteristics that may not align exactly with yours.

Anyway, you fall victim to your own line of reasoning. You asked Janz to do something that you said you were not prepared to do yourself, i.e explain the circumstances of the danger you experienced.

You seem like a smart person, I think this is the 2nd time you've played the victim card. That's beneath you.

I'm starting to form the opinion that because you say you have education and health experience in the subject matter, you were trying to goad Janz into a debate where you could show off your knowledge.

[costa_oscura]

It's very clear that there's no going against the status quo here and you don't respect women with education.  I worked hard for my degrees, credentials and years of experience and I'm not going to diminish them for anyone here or elsewhere.  I know the signs of lacking empathy and Janzoon has exhibited them, whether the status quo here wants to recognize it or not.  It's clear you all would rather defend an established member of this forum than ever consider the idea that I might be right.

And troll, I was serious when I wrote that you need to leave me alone.  If you comment any more at me in this forum, I'll take it as harassment.  When else do you ignore a woman's request to leave her alone, troll?  When else is this a problem for you?