Trollheart's Chart Fifty

[Trollheart]

And so we leave the 21st century behind and travel back to the 20th, to a time before 9/11, ipods or Spotify, a year when Nelson Mandela, released from his long imprisonment and but four years a free man, became South Africa's president. Meanwhile, what was creeping up - or down - the UK charts at that time?

Title: "Restless"
Artist: Status Quo
Nationality: English
Genre: Rock
Written by: Jennifer Warnes
Original release date: November 1994
Highest chart position (at time of writing): 39
Chart position (at time of writing): 39
Status at time of writing: Entry
Chart Progress: Peeked into the chart on Dec 3, wondering if anyone fancied some twelve-bar boogie? Nobody did, and it slid back down out of the top 40 the very next week.
From the album: Thirsty Work
What do I know about this artist? Ah who doesn't know the Quo? If you wanted rock and roll when I were a lad, these were the boys you came to. Sure, they only knew three chords (not really) but all their hits are classics. Who doesn't know "Caroline" (not that one), "Rockin' All Over the World" or "Down, Down"?
What have I learned about this artist? Nothing I didn't already know.
What do I think of this single? Oh dear. With a title like that I was expecting a boogie rocker, hair (or what remains of it) flying everywhere, but no, they chose to cover a really insipid ballad, complete with digital piano. Firmly stuck in the 80s boys. No wonder the charts kicked you out as soon as you stuck your nose in. This is dire.
What have I learned about this single? That it's a cover of a song by Jennifer Warnes. I only ever associate her with Joe Cocker, and they're up where they belong. Eagles may, or may not cry, so don't quote me, but I'm pretty sure the mountains are high. On what, I don't know.
My rating: 2/10

[Trollheart]

Back, back, ever further back, putting as much distance as possible between ourselves and that limp-wristed ballad from the men who used to rock all over the world. Back to the year darkly prophesied by George Orwell as being the age of Big Brother, when I was only two years in my job, unaware I would be there for another twenty-seven, and had much more and longer hair.

And a happier tune it is indeed that we find moving up from number 39. Remember, remember, the fifth of November. Who doesn't remember this?


Title: "We All Stand Together" aka "The Frog Chorus"
Artist: Paul McCartney
Nationality: English
Genre: Pop/Soundtrack
Written by: Paul McCartney
Original release date: November 5 1984
Highest chart position (at time of writing): 3
Chart position (at time of writing): 39
Status at time of writing: Rising
Chart Progress: Entered the top 40 Nov 24, three weeks later it was at number 3, where it spent 3 weeks, then took another five to slide back out of the top 40.
From the album: Rupert and the Frog Song OST
What do I know about this artist? Now, come on!
What have I learned about this artist? N/A
What do I think of this single? I think I kind of hated it when I heard it first, but like probably all of us I've grown to love its innate silliness, its return to childhood and its frankly fantastic video, even if it is from a movie about an upper-crust teddy bear who wears a tartan scarf. Speaking of Scarf(e)s, I do think though that those frogs have a very Geraldness about them.
What have I learned about this single? Nothing new.
My rating: 7.5/10

[Trollheart]

Our final stop takes us to 1974. I was eleven years old, still at school and 17 years away from the tragic loss of my mother, nearly 50 from the even worse loss of my sister. Life was, generally, good, even if across the water the miners were striking and we were probably experiencing rolling power cuts of some sort. Karen was four years old and we had just moved to our new home. And at number 39, not that I would have cared, was this.


Title: "Blue Angel"
Artist: Gene Pitney
Nationality: American
Genre: Chanson
Written by: Roger Cook
Original release date: No idea; sometime in 1974
Highest chart position (at time of writing): 39
Chart position (at time of writing): 39
Status at time of writing: Rising
Chart Progress: Came in at number 49 on November 2, rose to number 39 the next week and then dropped out of the top 40 the next week.
From the album: Not a clue mate
What do I know about this artist? Look all I know about him is two songs: "24 Hours from Tulsa" and "Something's Gotten Hold of My Heart", the latter of which was covered by Marc Almond, with him, decades later.
What have I learned about this artist? Nothing I can be bothered to.
What do I think of this single? Oh dear lord. A typical country/showband piece of crap. Let me out of here. I want to go back to my own time... my own time... my own....
What have I learned about this single? That it's shit and that the 1970s weren't always as good as I remember.
My rating: 1/10

[Trollheart]

Before I choose another number and start time-travelling back to the past again, let's see what is currently at the top, and then check back 50 years to see how it's changed. So, this week, or as close to it as we can get, what's at number


Title: "That's So True"
Artist: Gracie Abrams
Nationality: American
Genre: Folk-Pop
Written by: Gracie Abrams/Audrey Hobart
Original release date: November 6 2024
Progress to the top: Entered the top twenty on Halloween at no. 19, progressed the next week to no. 3 and the week after that to number 1, where it has so far spent five weeks.
Weeks spent at number one: 5 (at time of writing)
From the album: The Secret of Us
What do I know about this artist? Nothing
What have I learned about this artist? Well, she's been around for decades, hasn't she? No she has not. Only released her first album last year. Okay, in fairness, her first single came out in 2019. She's the daughter of J.J. "I can remake Star Trek and Star Wars" Abrams, has been writing songs since she was eight years old, and is on tour with Taylor Swift, which surely can only help raise her profile. She's also one of the dwindling number of artists who use their music to say something, being politically active and realising she has a huge platform from which to express her views and perhaps influence those of others. Can't fault that.
What do I think of this single? It's okay I guess; kind of typical what you hear from these sort of artists, but I wonder if the influence of Taylor Swift on her is showing more than she realises? Sounds like it could be one of her songs. It's catchy and bouncy but personally I don't see anything special about it, certainly nothing that would keep it over a month at the top (so far). But then, what does this old codger know?
What have I learned about this single? Nothing, other than it was a hit both sides of the big water. They even dug it in Lebanon!
My rating: 5/10

[Trollheart]

Ten years ago, it was a different story.

Title: "Do They Know It's Christmas?"
Artist: Band Aid
Nationality: Multi
Genre: Pop
Written by: Bob Geldof/Midge Ure
Original release date: November 17 2014
Progress to the top: Straight in on the week of release, fell to number 2 the next week, number 12 the week after that, then rallied just before Christmas, returning to the number 3 slot, but fell the next week to number 17 and exited the top 40 the following week.
Weeks spent at number one: 1
From the album: N/A
What do I know about this artist? Although using the same name and generally the same song, it was mostly different artists recording a new version of the song. Only Bono and Chris Martin reprised their roles, with new Band Aid members including Paloma Faith, Guy Garvey, Sinead O'Connor (RIP), Ellie Goulding, Ed Sheeran (spit) and Seal. The lyric was changed to reflect the Ebola crisis in Africa.
What have I learned about this artist? N/A
What do I think of this single? It's the same old song, being changed subtly and trotted out on this occasion for the fourth time. It wasn't the last time; they did it again this year. I think everyone is sick to the back teeth of it now. It just smacks of self-congratulatory indulgence at this point.
What have I learned about this single? N/A
My rating: N/A - You can listen to it if you want; I refuse to. I am the Grinch.

[Trollheart]

Was 2004 any better, or did the record buyers flock to itunes and into soon-to-be-closed record shops to help prop up the ailing bank balance of yet another singer who had had the foresight to record a Christmas single, the gift that, literally, keeps giving, even when the songwriter is dead?

Ah. A charity single. Almost as bad.


Title: "I'll Stand By You"
Artist: Girls Aloud
Nationality: British/Irish
Genre: Pop ballad
Written by: Chrissie Hynde/Tom Kelly/Billy Steinberg
Original release date: November 14 2004
Progress to the top: Came right in at number one November 27 (no surprise, being a charity single and probably coinciding with the Children in Need week), spent two weeks there and then fell out of the top 10 over five weeks, taking two more to exit the top 30, and leaving the top 40 by the end of January.
Weeks spent at number one: 2
From the album: What Will the Neighbours Say?
What do I know about this artist? Another creation of Simon Cowell, and of course an offshoot of the "Girl Power" era championed by The Spice Girls.
What have I learned about this artist? N/A
What do I think of this single? I preferred the original by The Pretenders, though the song does gain added poignancy and meaning when applied to kids who may be in need of someone to stand by, and up for them.
What have I learned about this single? That it was released for charity, in this case Children in Need.
My rating: 5/10 (9/10 for the original)

[Trollheart]

Another time-hop backwards, into the past another century. What was in pole position in 1994?

Title: "Let Me Be Your Fantasy"
Artist: Baby D
Nationality: English
Genre: Breakbeat/Hardcore/Italo-House/House
Written by: Floyd Dyce
Original release date: 1992?
Progress to the top: I don't know if this is a re-release (but I imagine it must be) but this version anyway came in on November 19 at number 3, moved to number 1 the next week and spent 2 weeks at the top. It then slowly fell out of the top 20 over six weeks, and two weeks later was gone.
Weeks spent at number one: 2
From the album: N/A
What do I know about this artist? Nothing
What have I learned about this artist? Nothing
What do I think of this single? It's dancy and catchy. Would I listen to it again? Doubt it.
What have I learned about this single? Nothing, other than it apparently was released originally in 1992 and so must have been re-released two years later.
My rating: 5/10

[Trollheart]

And back to the era of Big Brother, as we approached the Christmas season, what was holding court at the top? A band synonymous with tongue-in-cheek risque lyrics and t-shirts that advised people to relax.

Title: "The Power of Love"
Artist: Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Nationality: English
Genre: Pop ballad
Written by: Holly Johnson/Peter Gill/Mark O'Toole/Brian Nash
Original release date: November 19 1984
Progress to the top: As Dcember began it arrived at number 3 and quickly moved to the top spot the next week, however even though it featured an incongruous nativity/Christmas-themed video, the single was not able to hold on to the top slot for Christmas, falling back to its entry point the next week and over five weeks exiting the top 20. The following week it was gone from the top 40. As a matter of interest, on Christmas week it had fallen to number 6.
Weeks spent at number one: 1
From the album: Welcome to the Pleasuredome
What do I know about this artist? Famous for "Relax" and "Two Tribes", this was their third hit single and more or less spelled the end of them as a force in the pop world. In-fighting tore the band apart and these days they're only remembered really for those two, maybe three singles.
What have I learned about this artist? Nothing I didn't know already.
What do I think of this single? It's a departure for them, a move away from their upbeat, dancy pop fare which had got them to where they were and filled dancefloors as well as their coffers, and to my mind it closely parallels Pink Floyd's classic "Comfortably Numb" in the synth outro. Yeah.
What have I learned about this single? Nothing, other than it's at least the third single, and hit, to be so titled, the two others coming to mind being that by Jennifer Rush and the other by Huey Lewis and the News.
My rating: 5/10

[Trollheart]

Our final jaunt back in time takes us to 1974, when men with long hair and platform boots were not at all glanced at oddly, and you could wear glasses as large and as colourful as you wanted. Ah, the seventies! Topping the chart as 1974 approached a close was this. They literally do not write them like this anymore.

Title: "You're the First, The Last, My Everything"
Artist: Barry White
Nationality: American
Genre: Philadelphia Soul
Written by: Peter Radcliffe/Tony Sepe/Barry White
Original release date: October 25 1974
Progress to the top: Barry didn't like to rush things. The single entered (ooer) the charts at 38 on November 2, then slowly slid up (shut it) the top 20 till it was at number 2 by the end of the month. It then spent two weeks at number 1, but Barry knows it's always good to leave them wanting more, and slipped away after that, teasing us with a slow withdrawal (oh now really stop) over three weeks, and then finally said "See ya baby" three weeks later as he headed out of the top 40. What a class act. We shall not see his like again.
Weeks spent at number one: 2
From the album: Can't Get Enough
What do I know about this artist? Ah Jaysus who doesn't know Baz? The man with the deepest, sexiest voice in pop, who often began his songs with a deep, bass paean of love to his lady, and who made pop sexy again. How many women swooned to his seductive voice declaring his intention to make love, and then rising (pun intended) to a climax (again, pun intended) as he launched into the singing part with a "Whoa, whoa, whoa-ooohhhh!"?
What have I learned about this artist? He's unassailable.
What do I think of this single? Ah ya got to love it. Pure class.
What have I learned about this single? Quite surprisingly, it had been around for two decades before it became a hit. Peter Radcliffe originally wrote it as a country song but called it something else - "You're My First, You're My Last, My In-between" - then Barry got a hold of it and showed it what a song should be, and remade it in his image, adding that throaty drawled oh-so-sexy intro, and music history was made.
My rating: 10/10

[Trollheart]

And so, on the day the new year begins, we up the year and begin at 2025. Now, the only way I can do that, with this being January 1, is to take the chart for the last week in the previous year, i.e., one week ago, but I will treat that as 2025, which means I'll then be going back to 2015, 2005 etc.

But first: time to roll the dice, or, in these enlightened days of computerisation when the internet tells us what to do, hit the Random Number Generator and see what the gods bestow upon us on this, the first day of 2025.

And we have 17. So what's at 17 this week? Sorry, but that lands me in a world of Christmas songs, and I have had those up to here! So let's trip back a month or so, and try again. Any better? I'll let you know. But this, anyway, is what was at number 17 on the first week of November last.

Title: "Die With a Smile"
Artist: Lady Gaga featuring Bruno Mars
Nationality: American
Genre: Soft rock
Written by: Lady Gaga/Bruno Mars/James Fauntleroy/Dernst Emille II/Andrew Watt
Original release date: August 16 2024
Highest chart position (at time of writing): 2
Chart position (at time of writing): 17
Status at time of writing: Falling
Chart Progress: Very very strange. It had a slow journey to almost the top, entering at number 7 on August 23 and spending three weeks there, moving to number 6 after that, then one week later to 5, then to 4, again spending two weeks there, then to number 3 on October 11, the next week taking the number 2 spot, its highest position, where it spent one week before falling back to number 3, then a pretty dramatic fall to 17 (where we catch up with it) after that one week later it made a surprising recovery and took the number 14 spot for two weeks, then fell to number 18, then 23 and finally on December 6 exited the top 40. Only to make a brief resurgence as it climbed to number 37 the next week, then 32 the week after that, and finally falling all the way down to 64 this week. What a ride!
From the album: I don't know; it says it was (to be) included on her 8th album, but as far as I can see she has only had six to date?
What do I know about this artist? What everyone knows. I may have heard one or two songs, and I know about her controversial dress choices. Mars I know virtually nothing about, nor I think do I wish to.
What have I learned about this artist? N/A
What do I think of this single? You know, it's a hell of a lot better than I had expected. Sort of an acoustic ballad with a sense of 70s soul blended with Bryan Adams-style AOR/Pop rock. Not too bad at all.
What have I learned about this single? That she and Mars collaborated on it, it being one of his unfinished works, and that they finished it in a night.
My rating:

(From now on I'm using the stars rating. Get used to it).

[Trollheart]

And so we leave the freshly-minted new year behind and head for 2015. Yes, I know the last one was technically 2024 but that's how I'm doing it. So what was at number 17 10 years ago?

Title: "How Deep is Your Love?"
Artist: Calvin Harris & Disciples
Nationality: Scottish/English
Genre: Deep House
Written by: Calvin Harris/Nathan Duvall/Gavin Koolmon/Luke McDermott/Ina Wroldsen/Marvin White
Original release date: July 17 2015
Highest chart position (at time of writing): 2
Chart position (at time of writing): 17
Status at time of writing: Falling
Chart Progress: If I thought the chart progress of the previous song was odd, this is off the wall. 12 weeks in total spent in the top ten, but 34 spent in the top 40! Came in at number 7 on July 24 and moved to 6 the next week, then to number 2 where it spent two weeks before falling very slowly out of the top ten as I said: number 3 then three weeks at number 4, then back to 3 for one week and back to four for one, then a week each at 7, 9, 11 and 14 before we catch up with it at the end of October, whereafter it spent another week there (so two in all), and I'm not going to go into forensic detail on what places it slid to and how long it remained there, but it took a further 11 weeks to move out of the top 30 (with some bouncing back up a few places before falling back) and then spent three fucking weeks at 44 on its way out! Crazy.
From the album: N/A
What do I know about this artist? I've already noted all I know when he cropped up last in this chart thread.
What have I learned about this artist? Nothing new
What do I think of this single? Yeah I can see them dancing in clubs in Ibiza, off their faces on ecstasy or whatever, but to me a lot of these house tunes sound very similar. Probably just not my thing. For what it is, I guess it gets the job done. I prefer the Brothers Gibb, personally.
What have I learned about this single? That it is not, as I had originally thought, a cover of the old Bee Gees hit. That it was originally written by Disciples and the Norwegian singer Ira Wroldsen, that he (Harris) was sent it as part of the system his production company uses to check out new stuff by their artists or some damn thing, he liked it and decided to collaborate on it with them. Good for him: he ended up taking first name credits of course. Poor old Ira wasn't even credited even though she sang on it. Git.
My rating:

[Trollheart]

Back then to close to the beginning of the 21st century, as we end up in 2005, where we find this at number 17.

Title: "Bad Day"
Artist: Daniel Powter
Nationality: Canadian
Genre: Pop/Pop Rock
Written by: Daniel Powter
Original release date: January 9 2005
Highest chart position (at time of writing): 2
Chart position (at time of writing): 17
Status at time of writing: Falling
Chart Progress: Another weird one. Came in at number 2 on July 31 and spent three weeks there before moving down to number 3, where it also spent three weeks, then two weeks each at 5, 6, one at 10 and two at 8 (yes, in that order: what's happened to the chart?) then one at 13 before we meet it at 17, dropping out of the top 20 three weeks later and then taking another six to leave the top 30 before finally exiting the top 40 two weeks later.
From the album: Daniel Powter
What do I know about this artist? Virtually nothing
What have I learned about this artist? That he began writing songs at 13, was bullied by the kids in his school because he played the violin, they smashed it and he changed to the piano.

What do I think of this single? You know, I like(d) it, but during one of my many depressions the fucking thing would not stop playing in my head, and it drove me around the twist. I still like it, but I'm not so sure I can stand to hear it again. I'd just about got it out of my mind when of course it would come up here! But you have to respect someone who writes their own music in this age of multi-songwriters and producers, so fair play to him. Even so, was it the curse of the big hit? Can you name a single other Daniel Powter song since? Hey, maybe you're just having a bad day.
What have I learned about this single? That it was his first ever release, that he wrote it himself, and that it was used on American Idol and also for a Coca-Cola advert.
My rating:

[Trollheart]

That takes us over the line that separates the past from the, um, more recent past, and the centuries from each other, as we head back to 1995. At number 17 around that week we find these ladies, singing about the

Title: "Power of a Woman"
Artist: Eternal
Nationality: English
Genre: R&B
Written by: Carl Sturken/Evan Rogers
Original release date: October 9 1995
Highest chart position (at time of writing): 5
Chart position (at time of writing): 17
Status at time of writing: Falling
Chart Progress: At least this one had a more conventional journey. Arrived at number 5 on October 15 and a week later dropped to 6, then 9, then hooks up with us at 17 before dropping to 25 and then leaving the top 40 almost a month later.
From the album: Power of a Woman
What do I know about this artist? Just "Waterfalls". Oh no, that's TLC isn't it? Well, in that case, nothing.
What have I learned about this artist? That they were English - assumed they were American - and are no more. Oh, and that Louise Redknapp was in their band. But not for this single; she'd left by now to pursue a solo career. And very well she did, too. Hey wait a minute! They're all black, and Louise, well, isn't. How did that work then? Token white girl?
What do I think of this single? Meh. Sounds like the Spice Girls if they did R&B. Maybe they should have tried writing themselves. This is generic pap.
What have I learned about this single? Nothing, other than, despite the title, it was written by two men!
My rating:

[Trollheart]

10 years further back brings us to my favourite decade, when I was growing up. Well, grown up. If I ever did. I always consider the 80s the best decade for music - well, maybe the 70s too - but then, who doesn't rate the years they were young(ish) as the best? Nevertheless, I am right.

And in 1985 we had this little gem making its way up to number 17, more or less at the height of their commercial fame, when suddenly everyone - including very much me - suddenly became aware of their existence, and tried to pretend they had always been a fan.

Title: "Road to Nowhere"
Artist: Talking Heads
Nationality: American
Genre: Pop-Rock/New Wave
Written by: David Byrne
Original release date: September 30 1985
Highest chart position (at time of writing): 6
Chart position (at time of writing): 17
Status at time of writing: Rising
Chart Progress: A lot more conventional. Made an unobtrusive entrance at the beginning of October at 66, then the next week advanced to 48, then 41 the next week and 26 the week after that, after which we meet it at 17 before it moves to 12 and then into the top 10, taking its highest position at 6 on November 24, then falling the next week to 8th place, exiting the top 20 two weeks later and the top 30 two weeks after that, finally leaving the top 40 after two more weeks.
From the album: Little Creatures
What do I know about this artist? Who doesn't know Dave and the lads?
What have I learned about this artist? N/A
What do I think of this single? Love it. I'm not a big fan of Talking Heads but this song is so infectious, especially the a capella ending, the marching drum beat rhythm, the gospel intro, and, um, everything about it.
What have I learned about this single? Nothing much, other than the fact that David Byrne was embarrassed that it consists only of two chords (he says) and so wrote the gospel introduction. Hey, it works.
My rating:

[Trollheart]

Our final recession through time takes us back to the good old days of the seventies, and having said that, no doubt I'm going to end up having to listen to a right turd (and believe me, like any decade, there were plenty of them in the seventies!) but hopefully it'll be a rock or pop classic. Hell, I'll settle for it not being Renee and Renato or Clive Dunn! If that means nothing to you, then consider yourselves lucky.

Oh no it's not. It's this guy. Remember "Music"? He wishes you didn't.

Title: "Highfly"
Artist: John Miles
Nationality: English
Genre: Rock
Written by: John Miles/Bob Marshall
Original release date: Unknown, but we can work it out. The album was released in March and the single entered the charts in October, so realistically speaking, it must have been released somewhere around the beginning of October 1975.
Highest chart position (at time of writing): 17
Chart position (at time of writing): 17
Status at time of writing: Highest position
Chart Progress: Not much really. Came in at number 42 October 12 and moved to 25 the next week, 18 the next and then hit 17, which is where we meet it, and after which it began to fall, back to 18 and then to 24 as it exited the top 40.
From the album: Rebel
What do I know about this artist? Nothing other than that one hit he had.
What have I learned about this artist? That after leaving school he had a job making signs for toilets (!), that he went to Jarrow Grammar School, the town from which began a big march to protest unemployment, and the town itself was so decimated by the Great Depression that it was described as "cursed". Nice. It's always good to learn something, even if there's not always a lot there to learn. You find these titbits of information, these nuggets of interest if you look.

As for Miles? Well, you know, given the fact that "Music" was such a huge hit, I always assumed he was in one of the bigger bands, but it doesn't appear so. In fact, that was his only hit, so rather like poor Daniel Powter, he's only ever remembered, and occasionally commemorated on hits albums for that one song. Seems to have had pretty poor luck. Despite opening for Elton John, Fleetwood Mac, Aerosmith and The Stones, among others, his lack of success and general recognition led one critic to lament

In the world of Rock music, there can be no greater travesty than the way John Miles' music has been ignored, especially by the weekly music press. Musical skill has never been high on their list of pre-requisites for stardom and as soon as John's fifteen minutes of fame had terminated in the mid-Seventies, the shutters came down with a resounding bang. 'Passe' and 'old-fashioned' were the usual glib diatribes flung insultingly in Mr. Miles' direction with every subsequent record release, yet to those prepared to listen, each and every album contained material that consolidated his status as an exceptional songwriting talent.

And you can understand that. How can you put yourself out there, have a big hit, associate with all these bands and yet not really ever make it? Miles died in 2021, still more or less only known, if at all, for that one song. At least Alan Parsons appreciated him, saying after his death I am hugely saddened by the news that my good friend and musical genius John has passed. I am so very proud to have worked with him on some of the greatest vocal performances ever recorded, including of course 'Music', which as well as being a big hit internationally, became an anthem for the hugely popular "Night of the Proms" concerts. Whenever I invited John to sing on the Alan Parsons Project albums he always delivered magical and sensitive renditions. He will be greatly missed not only by his many friends and associates but also by the millions of fans who recognize his amazing talent.
What do I think of this single? You know, I think I've heard this before. It's certainly familiar. I hear his work with the Alan Parsons Project here, certainly. Decent rock song. Don't see any reason why it wasn't a hit really. Quite catchy, with a bit of Queen and T-Rex about it, maybe some Bowie too. Good stuff.
What have I learned about this single? Not a damn thing.
My rating:

(I would source another copy, but I think this is ironically a metaphor for poor John's lack of musical appreciation by the general public)