2024 US Presidential Election

[SGR]

RFK Jr. challenges Trump to debate after 'Democrat plant' accusation

"When frightened men take to social media they risk descending into vitriol, which makes them sound unhinged," Kennedy wrote in an X post on Saturday afternoon. "President Trump's rant against me is a barely coherent barrage of wild and inaccurate claims that should best be resolved in the American tradition of presidential debate. President Trump, who has proven himself the most adept debater in modern American political history, should not be panicked to meet me on that stage."

This would be stupid for Trump to agree to (because really, the only upside here is for RFK Jr, with little to no upside for Trump). Still, I'd love to see it happen. I wanna see Trump and RFK Jr debate about all these aliens/UFOs we keep hearing about. And it would be quite something to see RFK Jr. put Trump in a position where he has to defend and support the COVID-19 vaccine.

[Trollheart]

RFK Jr. challenges Trump to debate after 'Democrat plant' accusation

This would be stupid for Trump to agree to (because really, the only upside here is for RFK Jr, with little to no upside for Trump). Still, I'd love to see it happen. I wanna see Trump and RFK Jr debate about all these aliens/UFOs we keep hearing about. And it would be quite something to see RFK Jr. put Trump in a position where he has to defend and support the COVID-19 vaccine.

That bit about Trump being the most adept debater: that's clearly him having a laugh, no? Trump couldn't debate his way out of a paper bag.  Mind you, place "mast" in front of the word and maybe he's on to something...

[Lexi Darling]

To his fans Trump is the best debater by default because they're in a cult that is convinced that anyone debating him is just a lying agent of the deep state shadow government.

You win every contest if you can convince your supporters that you're the only fair player.

[SGR]

That bit about Trump being the most adept debater: that's clearly him having a laugh, no? Trump couldn't debate his way out of a paper bag.  Mind you, place "mast" in front of the word and maybe he's on to something...

I think it's an appeal to Trump's ego and part of the challenge itself. Imagine you're the fastest kid in a small school (or at least, you think you are) and everyone knows it. A new kid starts coming to the school. Then, in front of the class, the new kid says to the fast kid: "I challenge you to a race at recess. Since you're the fastest kid in school, you should have no problem beating me, right?"

[DJChameleon]

That bit about Trump being the most adept debater: that's clearly him having a laugh, no? Trump couldn't debate his way out of a paper bag.  Mind you, place "mast" in front of the word and maybe he's on to something...

I think they meant to say entertaining debater. He runs circles around most politicians. There might not be substance but there is flash and he creates buzzworthy clips for days after.

[SGR]

I think they meant to say entertaining debater. He runs circles around most politicians. There might not be substance but there is flash and he creates buzzworthy clips for days after.

That's a very fair assessment. Trump can make many of the establishment politicians look foolish and inept not by engaging in the real substance of the debate, but rather by taking shots at their integrity (of which most politicians have none) or their past or their insecurities (which often includes their physical appearance). Trump comes from a media/TV background. He knows how to handle media optics in a way that gives him an edge over many politicians. The 2016 Republican debates will forever be some of the most ridiculously entertaining political spectacles America had the (mis?)fortune of witnessing:

The underlying problem is that people don't vote (by and large) based on a logical calculation of policy proposals, but rather based on their emotions. I think Trump realized this, leveraged it, and that's why he was able to win in 2016. Perception is reality for better or worse. Politics has always had an element of bloodsports to it. Trump amplified this further than we've so far seen. Which again raises the interesting question of what the GOP will do when he's out of the picture.

[Psy-Fi]

Inside the National Enquirer's hunt for a 'blockbuster' Trump story

[SGR]

I've heard this said in a couple different ways now, but I think there's definitely some truth to it.

The Republicans have nominated the only candidate who could possibly lose to Joe Biden.

And the Democrats have nominated the only candidate who could possibly lose to Donald Trump.

 

[SGR]

South Dakota Gov. Noem admits error of describing meeting North Korea's Kim Jong Un in new book

lol Kristi Noem didn't read her own book before it was released.  How the hell did the ghostwriter include a completely fictitious story about meeting Kim Jong Un? I'd be curious who the ghostwriter was, because it seems like this mistake was intentional to take Kristi Noem out of VP contention.

Yeah, she ain't getting Trump's VP spot. Especially after the 'dog story'.

[Trollheart]

South Dakota Gov. Noem admits error of describing meeting North Korea's Kim Jong Un in new book

lol Kristi Noem didn't read her own book before it was released.  How the hell did the ghostwriter include a completely fictitious story about meeting Kim Jong Un? I'd be curious who the ghostwriter was, because it seems like this mistake was intentional to take Kristi Noem out of VP contention.

Yeah, she ain't getting Trump's VP spot. Especially after the 'dog story'.

Come on now: don't you know that the divine Kim can be wherever he wants to be, even if he wasn't born yet? This is the man, remember, who, having never picked up a golf club before, scored eighteen holes-in-one on his very first try, and then retired from golf forever! If he wanted to be there, you can bet he was there. She probably just doesn't remember it because his awesome presence so overpowered her that it shorted out her memory.

Or maybe he had one of these.

[Mindy]

[SGR]

Well, we've had enough of Pecker on the stand, so now we get to hear from a porn star. Gag orders abound! Though there may have been some awkwardness and some sexual dissatisfaction, we've now settled it once and for all: there was no erection interference.



In other news, apparently a worm ate part of RFK Jr's brain. Now let me ask you, my fellow Americans; being president may be a job like no other, but it's still a job nonetheless. Even if you're not a business owner, I'm sure you've hired people to do a job before. Maybe a plumber to fix your pipes for example. Maybe you had only three plumbers in your town. Still, did you ever need to ask yourself: "Well, I've got three plumbers here who could do this job...but do any of them still have a functioning brain?"

Moving on, the federal court case against Trump for mishandling classified documents has been indefinitely delayed by the judge. And why might you ask? Well, it appears the prosecution/special counsel mishandled the classified documents and misled the judge and there are too many questions surrounding this to continue the case at this juncture. But not to worry, I'm sure once another independent special counsel is tasked with investigating whether or not this special counsel mishandled the classified documents in the case against Trump for mishandling classified documents, we'll hastily be back in the courtroom!

Stay tuned folks, as is your duty as proud Americans, things can only get more exciting from here!

[Trollheart]

I like this! Witty, sarcastic and cutting observations from the man on the ground (well, in the garden anyway, and I don't mean the Rose one) - always liked your writing style, SGR, and I'd definitely come back to check out more of your "updates" in this thread, so hope you considering making this a regular thing!

[SGR]

I like this! Witty, sarcastic and cutting observations from the man on the ground (well, in the garden anyway, and I don't mean the Rose one) - always liked your writing style, SGR, and I'd definitely come back to check out more of your "updates" in this thread, so hope you considering making this a regular thing!

Thanks Trolls! I had a lot of fun writing it, so maybe I'll make it a regular thing. Can't force it though. The stories have to be right, and the jokes will have to come to me, but this definitely won't be the last time I do a spoof of the presidential race news. I will certainly not be bereft of material to work with, that's for sure.

[Guybrush]

You mentioned a parasite, so I ofc latched on to that bit.

The brain eating worm is probably the common pork tapeworm. It has a stage where it lives in the intestine, which is what people know about, but that stage produces eggs that hatch into another stage, a stage that makes a smaller worm that burrows into tissues and lives inside the cyst it creates there.

If people ingest those eggs, say from drinking water contaminated with faeces containing tapeworm eggs, those worms can end up in the brain - or in the eyes even.

It really is awful and so if you want something new to keep you up at night, just Google pork tapeworm brain.