Voices on the Wind: Trollheart's Compleat History of Music Banter

[Lexi Darling]

Cardboard Adolescent is a legend. Hope he's doing well.

[Trollheart]

Lounge Lizards and Drama Queens: A Frank Exchange of Views

If there was one place you could really let fly it was in the Lounge. Theoretically created as a place where "off-topic banter" could be posted, where you didn't have to know how many members were in A Perfect Circle or how many albums John Zorn had, where your musical taste didn't matter, or did, depending on what you posted. In reality, the Lounge was the scene of just about all the drama that rolled and cracked around Music Banter like angels playing bowling, or something. Because people were more relaxed (and many, it seemed, relaxed to the point of being refused service and/or barred) there was a more loose attitude to what was said, and everything from how your day went to how many marshmallows you could stuff up your nose was discussed probably. Wild and weird topics were posted here, many of them nonsensical, many of them either unintentionally or intentionally inflammatory, and to compare the Lounge, at times, to the Thunderdome is not entirely inaccurate. Debate would often spill over into argument, then insults, then outright fighting, a mod would step in (assuming he or she was not involved already) and threaten bans, and things would quiet down.

For a while.

The Lounge could also be renamed the Derailment Section, as, while threads certainly got pulled off-course in other sections, here the theme or subject of the thread was often quite nebulous - "Your Day". "The Bitch Box". And the ever-popular "Spill Your Guts" - so that really, derailment was almost inevitable and expected. After all, few people really wanted to know literally how your day went. Unless you fight fires or rob banks or dress up as a superhero after dark, who cares? And anyway, that would be Your Night, which oddly was a thread nobody ever thought to make. But in the spirit of The Lounge, I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah: nobody cared how your day went; more people cared about what it was you were Bitching about, and everyone wanted to Spill Their Guts, or more likely, someone else's. Only, mostly, we have to hope, metaphorically.

Those who spent the bulk of their time in the Lounge were known as Lounge Lizards, though to my knowledge none of them ever sported scales or spent a lot of time in the sun basking on a flat rock. I could of course stand to be corrected. For some time, these Reptiles of the Relaxation Room were frowned on by (some) other members, who somehow had the crazy and mistaken idea that this was a music forum, and people should be discussing music primarily! I mean, I ask you! Sure, Music was in the forum name, but so was the other bit, and that, let's be honest, mostly, is what we were all interested in. If you wanted to seriously discuss music, sure, you could do it, if you found someone as serious as you, but the majority of members were there to just chill and have a good time, talk about music but in a sort of offhand way, throwing down videos and talking about albums, but nothing really serious. Dissing the young's take on music was always a favourite of course, and while the Lizards may have been tut-tutted at and tsks nodded in their direction, we all spent time in the Lounge, and it was where we could relax and not take things too seriously. Especially me, who, after another sixteen updates a day in my journal (one at the time, soon to mushroom and burgeon out of all control, rather like the Red Weed in HG Wells' War of the Worlds) was happy to plonk my skinny virtual arse in a comfy chair, order up a Coke and shoot the breeze. I quickly learned I can't shoot for shit, and members take a dim view of open carry, and while sniffing up the white powder might be accepted generally, they didn't like to see it in the Lounge, messing up the nice French polished tables and making everyone sneeze. So in the end I settled for a Coca-Cola instead and would join in on the topic of the day.

And eventually, someone would either get into a heated argument with someone (I'm pretty sure one of the members, whose name escapes me right now, hit another with a large radiator; that's how heated these arguments got) or, if nobody would bite, would go looking for a fight. Sometimes, then, these involved me, as I either stepped in to speak up for or support someone I considered a friend, or more often became the target of the wandering argument-seeker, transforming before my eyes into something that would, in due course, bring the whole shoddy edifice down upon our heads. Lounge Lizards were fine, happy, harmless creatures, but when they got angry, a startling metamorphosis occurred, and in the place of a sane, reasoned and logical being stood the bane of the forum, the disruptor, the zen wrecker. The


Occasionally, though, these creatures arrived fully-formed and without artifice or disguise at the forum, believing totally in their own propaganda and ready to spread questionable beliefs and high-level drama all over the place before they'd barely got their coat off. Such people were of course recognised for what they were, and generally laughed at and fucked with by anyone who had a brain and failed to rise to their pathetic attempts at trolling. They were often so up themselves and so far down their own rabbit hole that to even attempt a rescue would be, well, hilarious. So, as god-fearing Christians (or not), we saw it as our sacred duty in those cases to rip the piss out of them.

I present to you then, in that spirit, Concept_V (no, we staunchly refused to ask him what it meant, which must have either driven him mad or made him feel even more insufferably superior), a suitable case for treatment.

This is so true in today's Woke society

[jimmy jazz]

Posted in the spam thread but this one seems apt.

I asked AI to make a song about the forum.

https://suno.com/song/30a528ac-292b-4c39-b4e3-256acc813838

Lyrics:

[Verse]
In the glow of that pixel-perfect light,
The music pulsed through keys all night.
Trollheart scrawled strange journals deep,
A new one posted ten times a week.

[Verse 2]
Jimmy Jazz, making friends and foes
Fixing his gaze on numerous toes
His affection spoke louder than words,
Dancing shadows, melodies heard.

[Chorus]
Oh, echoes, echoes in the forum hall,
Where secrets linger, where whispers call.
The tunes may change, the faces fade,
But there's a memory in every shade.

[Verse 3]
Chula spilled tales nobody had asked,
Baring his soul, unmasked, so fast
Batlord hummed tunes of distant lands,
Trolling so much he ended up banned.

[Verse 4]
OccultHawk prowled with a devious grin,
A scent of trouble would always begin.
His hygiene forgotten, desires unclean,
The strangest old hawk that I've ever seen.

[Verse 5]
The workout thread was full of young men
DJ and Tore setting records again
Eazy and Mindy changing their lives
And Jimmy was posing and flexing his bi's

[Verse 6]
Jadis had left as he got the hump
Lexi and Trollheart were dreaming of Trump
Everybody's a Nazi, it's all rather odd
JWB, intellectual God

[Verse 7]
Oasis were worshipped lots more than Pulp
Marie Monday swallowing fish with one gulp
Be careful with what you may type
Or beware, her banhammer may strike

[Bridge]
Then there's Steph, with a gaze of fire,
In her presence, all would conspire.
A feminist icon, coy yet severe,
Love and power merged crystal clear.

[ᑕᐧᔐᔫᓂᑯᒑᔥ]

[Lexi Darling]

Posted in the spam thread but this one seems apt.

I asked AI to make a song about the forum.

https://suno.com/song/30a528ac-292b-4c39-b4e3-256acc813838

Lyrics:

Wow, I post for 2 years on here about LGBT experiences and synthesizers and how much I love my husband and that's all the AI has to say about me, huh. I always knew to never trust robits. 

[jimmy jazz]

Wow, I post for 2 years on here about LGBT experiences and synthesizers and how much I love my husband and that's all the AI has to say about me, huh. I always knew to never trust robits. 

I had to put shit in for it to make it's lyrics but yes. Also you can reword them so they scan better. I did it a couple of times but the lyrics are 90% AI.

I was quite pleased with how the vocals fit the music. I'd bop my head to it. 

[Trollheart]

Meh, anything AI can do I can do better.


(To the tune of, well, you know)

There was a music forum
As busy as a bee
And it's been the ruin of many posters
You can count among them me.

Frownland he was saracastic
Cut me down to size
With guitars made of elastic
And a massive ego and pride.

Now Chula did not like him
And he possessed a gun
He threatened that old Frownland guy
And said he'd better run!

(keyboard solo)

Oh Batlord, wherefore are thou?
The forum's drama queen
Gone back to read your comics kid
No more to be seen.

Well there was a music forum
So busy like a bee
But now it's dead and it is gone
For its falling don't blame me.

(keyboard outro)

[jimmy jazz]

There was a lot of sexual tension between Frownland and Chula wasn't there.

Reckon those two would get on irl. Both pissed as farts in the bars of San Diego drinking Lagunitas or whatever it was Frownland liked.

[Trollheart]

Lexi's Song

(Tune: Life on Mars)

She is lurking within the thread
Watching posters argue with dread
But her shyness is saying no
And she doesn't believe it is so
That her friends who don't know her name
Act and talk and are just the same
All wants is to keep hid from view
In the shadows she will remain.

But it is such a saddening bore
Watching people post more and more
She begins to believe it's time
As they ask her her favourite

Bands and artists; she likes keyboards
Oh man! Look at that Synth Girl go!
She is joining the show!
Take a look at her skill now, posting and debating
Oh man! How could she ever know?
This is the way it would go
There is life - it's not hard.

Now she's learning the names of all
Having turned away from the wall
Like a flower opening to the sun
She sees she's not the only one.
But to lurk and wait has its time
And now she has seen the signs
Stepping out of the dark she smiles
Hoping and praying all the while.

Cos it was such a saddening bore
But she's not lonely any more
Fingers tapping out on the keys
She is writing about these

Bands and artists; she likes keyboards
Oh man! Look at that Synth Girl go!
She is joining the show!
Take a look at her skill now, posting and debating
Oh man! How could she ever know?
This is the way it would go
There is life - it's not hard.

[Lexi Darling]

Lexi's Song

(Tune: Life on Mars)

She is lurking within the thread
Watching posters argue with dread
But her shyness is saying no
And she doesn't believe it is so
That her friends who don't know her name
Act and talk and are just the same
All wants is to keep hid from view
In the shadows she will remain.

But it is such a saddening bore
Watching people post more and more
She begins to believe it's time
As they ask her her favourite

Bands and artists; she likes keyboards
Oh man! Look at that Synth Girl go!
She is joining the show!
Take a look at her skill now, posting and debating
Oh man! How could she ever know?
This is the way it would go
There is life - it's not hard.

Now she's learning the names of all
Having turned away from the wall
Like a flower opening to the sun
She sees she's not the only one.
But to lurk and wait has its time
And now she has seen the signs
Stepping out of the dark she smiles
Hoping and praying all the while.

Cos it was such a saddening bore
But she's not lonely any more
Fingers tapping out on the keys
She is writing about these

Bands and artists; she likes keyboards
Oh man! Look at that Synth Girl go!
She is joining the show!
Take a look at her skill now, posting and debating
Oh man! How could she ever know?
This is the way it would go
There is life - it's not hard.

Ahh this was so lovely!