Trump Redux: The Death of Democracy, or Overblown Hyperbole?

[Trollheart]

Some interesting and slightly amusing information about the founding of Greenland, from my history of America journal (plug, plug!)


Red, White and Green: Erik the Red and the Flotation of Greenland

Life could be tough for Vikings around the tenth century. Known as vicious marauders who would quite literally kill you as soon as look at you, they worshipped the fierce Norse gods Odin (or Woden), Thor and Loki, and believed the only way to die with honour was in battle yadda yadda but eventually all of this killing, pillaging, plundering and stomping about became tiring, and Vikings began to consider a change of god, the Christian one looking a decent substitute. Which is to say, by the tenth century most Norse had converted to Christianity, given up the plundering, pillaging and fighting (perhaps indulging in the odd rape, but sure you can't expect a man to change overnight can you now?) and settled down to be farmers and traders.

That's all very well and good. As most warrior civilisations have found out down through history, that sort of full-on-us-against-the-world attitude can't last, and as you get older as a people you need to have the odd breather, these becoming longer and more frequent till eventually you say "Ah fuck it! I'm not going plundering today. There's Goldfinger on the telly!" or words to that effect, Basically, all warrior peoples go one of two ways: they settle down and ditch the warrior ways or they warrior themselves right out of existence. So the Norse chose the first option, and life became a lot easier and quite possibly better.

Except for poor Erik the Red, that is.

Erik was born in Norway but his father was exiled to Iceland for manslaughter. Now, in the good old days of the "real" Vikings, this would have engendered likely nothing more than a few grins down the local and a round of beers, clapped shoulders all round and maybe one or two guys might fight it out to the death, just for the hell of it, as Vikings did. In fact, it's not widely known (since I made it up but it could have been true) that a Viking heading down to the Axe and Sword for a quiet twenty pints or so with the lads might growl to his wife "I'll be back at sunrise, unless I get killed, in which case make sure my sons have a father. Cheers love!" A night on the razz in downtown Oslo or Bergen could be a dangerous affair.

But after the Christian God was adopted the kind of harmless fun Vikings had been known to indulge in became illegal, murder even, and thus Thorvald, Erik's dad, was kicked out of Norway for explaining the finer points of his argument with, well, the finer points of a battleaxe maybe. Not wishing to be outdone, Erik too got himself exiled. See, neither Erik nor his old man had accepted Jesus into their lives. In fact, they told the shocked priests  just exactly where Jesus could stick his eternal salvation and brotherhood to all men, and further, went on to say that if he and Erik could find their way into the Kingdom of Heaven, they would be sure to ransack it and carry off as many angels as one man could manage.

In other words, Thorvald remained a staunch supporter of Odin, and when Erik followed in his dad's footsteps his wife, a true Christian now, told him she'd be damned (literally) if she would lie with a pagan, and that if he wanted some he had better make with the holy water and that sign of the cross that was becoming so popular, adding that she was sure Mrs. Sharpaxe at number seven didn't have this trouble with her husband, who converted dutifully when told to, nor even Mrs. Wolfclaw, who she had never liked but at least knew how to keep her man in line. How, she may have wailed, could Erik embarrass and scandalise her so? Clinging to outmoded beliefs, talking about Valhalla as if it existed, when everyone knew that the only real place you went when you died was Heaven? Did he realise that everyone was laughing at him?

Erik may have realised, but did not care, and so when - possibly due to having been forced into celibacy - he took exception to his neighbour killing all his slaves, and addressed his concerns by killing said neighbour, the council of elders shook their heads and said come on now, this isn't the seventh century you know Erik. Perhaps a spell in that undiscovered land to the southwest is just what you need, yeah the one with no name. Off you go, and don't come back for, oh, let's say three years.

And off he went. The land he was exiled to turned out to be pretty much the same as Iceland, but in a move worthy of the greatest spindoctors and PR executives today, and completely ignoring the fact that it was a total lie, Erik named the new land Greenland, and began trying to attract settlers. Many of them, perhaps fed up with the Christian god and his incessant bans on just about everything that was enjoyable, to say nothing of that fucking Latin they had to listen to, joined him. It's not recorded what the first would-be settlers to arrive there had to say on seeing what they had invested in, but it's a fair bet that it would have gone along the basic lines of "Fuck me! Where's all this green then? Don't see much of that. White we got, grey too. No green though. You sure you named this place properly, Erik me old son? Did you maybe mean Greyland?"

As an aside, you have to laugh at the names these guys either gave themselves or were given. Erik's neighbour, to whom he was most un-neighbourly, was known as Eyjolf the Foul, and one of the men who rose against Erik later in the ensuing dispute went by Thorad the Yeller (I'm going to assume that meant he shouted loudly, not that he was a coward). But what did Erik the Red have to do with the exploration of America? Well, nothing actually, but his son sure did.

[SGR]

Nice enrichment, Trolls! Reading your post ended up sending me down a Wikipedia rabbit hole about vikings. 

Did you ever hear about Leif Ericson's encounter with sasquatch?



Greenland's leader ready to talk to Trump

Trump should send Rick Harrison to negotiate.

[Trollheart]

Yeah I can just hear Rick now: "No, that's the best I can do. I won't go a dollar more. Listen, I'm taking all the risk here. I have to feed these people, get them fuel, sort out their government: it's a lot of work. If we can't do business today, maybe put Greenland in an auction, but those fees will crucify you. Hey, if you change your mind I'm always here!"
 

[Weekender]

It's all a troll.

Maybe Americans have voted Trump because he's so annoying. "you didn't listen to us now you get this guy".

Except they didn't so much throw a brick through the window as bake a cake for the oligarchy.

[SGR]

"I'm the president of the United States, and I'm suing the United States" 

[SGR]

Trump's new official presidential portrait was released - here's a side by side of his 2017 one with his new 2025 one:



I was trying to figure out what it reminded me of...and then it hit me...the Hank/Dean Norris meme 

[Trollheart]

That face says "You thought it was bad the first time I was in power, motherfuckers? To quote some old white rockers, you ain't seen nothin' yet!"

[Lexi Darling]

The new one looks like he just got hit with some wicked stomach cramps.

[Trollheart]

The new one is just begging for someone with graphics skills to paint in some flames and a pitchfork! Maybe turn him into Pinhead! 

[Lexi Darling]

The new one is just begging for someone with graphics skills to paint in some flames and a pitchfork! Maybe turn him into Pinhead! 

Your wish is my command.

[SGR]

Your wish is my command.

[Trollheart]

Totally brilliant! 

[Psy-Fi]

Bill Gates had 'intriguing' three-hour dinner with Trump: 'I was frankly impressed'

[SGR]

Bill Gates had 'intriguing' three-hour dinner with Trump: 'I was frankly impressed'

Gotta keep those antitrust investigations at bay, and that government contract money to continue flowing somehow 

[DJChameleon]

Rosanne came out of hiding for this.