Villa 😎

I'm looking forward to Wednesday more than any other game in my life.

Quote from: Toy Revolver on May 10, 2023, 11:14 PMdo y'all think it's wrong to jerk off a dog


Overview

This weekend saw the shock first defeat for Liverpool, virtually their only one of the season, though it won't stop their inexorable and inevitable march to the title. Chelsea held on to fourth place, though unable to beat a struggling Brentford, the London derby ending in a stalemate as neither team scored. Another London team were also held to a draw as Arsenal took on Everton, their quest to put any sort of pressure they can on Liverpool stymied, even in the face of the league leaders losing the next day. Villa beat third-placed Forest to move up the table, but then later results pushed us down again, but still better than before, and we're playing well.

At the other end of the table, Spurs finally put Southampton out of their misery as the Saints became the first team to be relegated this season, if not the least expected, and after a truly awful performance against Eddie Howe's high-flying Newcastle, Leicester look likely to be following them. The Manchester derby was a borefest, neither team able to score, and City slide another two places as Champions League football begins to slip away from them. Ipswich surely destined to be the third team for the drop, as Wolves confirmed their Premier League survival. Newcastle climb to 5th on their demolition of Leicester, looking likely to be playing in Europe next season.

Finally, mention must be made of two things: Vitor Pereira, the saviour of Wolves, who in his short time in charge has changed their fortunes from a side struggling with relegation - and often in the zone - to one which can now look forward to another season in the top flight, and that match between Crystal Palace and Brighton. 3 red cards, and none of them resulted in a penalty. Not sure I've ever seen that happen before.




Saturday April 11 2025

Manchester City v Crystal Palace
Nottingham Forest v Everton
Southampton v Aston Villa
Arsenal v Brentford
Brighton v Leicester City




Teams: Manchester City v Crystal Palace
Regions: Manchester v London
Managers: Pep Guardiola v Oliver Glasner
Targets: City looking to go 4th, Palace trying to get into the top half of the table
Expectation: I would think City
Ground: The Etihad
Respective current positions (Before match): 5 & 11

It only took Palace eight minutes to open the scoring at the Etihad, City attempting to level four minutes later but at the keeper and the rebound off the post. As we headed towards the midway point of the first half a Palace corner allowed them to double their lead. Again DeBruyne did his best but back off the post again, as Palace took their third goal, or did they? Deemed offside, City lucky not to be three behind. As the half-hour expired finally the retiring Belgian was able to help his team to halve the deficit, the home side coming close to levelling but scraped the post, then Marmoush did the business and we were all square before the break.

The second half was barely two minutes old before City took the lead for the first time, and just before the hour they had turned the game completely around with their fourth, as McAtee made up for his earlier miss. All City now as they went on the attack, and with ten minutes to go four became five, the home team cruising.

Result: Manchester City 5 - 2 Crystal Palace
Scorer(s): Eze, Richards (PAL); DeBruyne, Marmoush, Kovacic, McAtee, O'Reilly (MNC)
Penalties: None
VAR decision(s), if any: None
Red Cards: None
Controversies: None
Respective current positions (After match): 5 & 12
Respective final positions: 5 & 12
Effects: City hold on to 5th place, Palace remain where they were.



Teams: Nottingham Forest v Everton
Regions: Nottinghamshire v Merseyside
Managers: Nuno Espirito Santo
Targets: Remaining third for Forest, while Everton are trying to climb the bottom half of the table
Expectation: Can't see Forest having any trouble here.
Ground: The City Ground
Respective current positions (Before match): 3 & 15

With Chris Wood back in the side, even less chance for Everton you would think. Even so, first strike on goal came from the visitors, the keeper equal to it. Another attack just before the half-hour could have gone in but turned away by the defender. Still, Forest without a shot on goal in the first 30 minutes. Everton just kept hammering at the Forest goal, and the home side were lucky not to be behind, and when they got their chance to shoot they couldn't convert, so scoreless at the break.

More pressure in the second half from Forest as they tried to exploit perhaps Everton's failure to capitalise on their possession, but in extra time the visitors pounced after Forest had wasted chance after chance, to steal the points at the death. Very well deserved.

Result: Nottingham Forest 0 - 1 Everton
Scorer(s): Doucoure (EVE)
Penalties: None
VAR decision(s), if any: None
Red Cards: None
Controversies: None
Respective current positions (After match): 3 & 14
Respective final positions: 3 & 13
Effects: Everton move up to 13th


Teams: Southampton v Aston Villa
Regions: Hampshire v Birmingham
Managers: Simon Rusk/Alan La Lana  v Unai Emery
Targets: Southampton are gone, Villa want to try to take 6th place back, though we could go higher if other results favour us.
Expectation: Has to be Villa
Ground: St. Marys
Respective current positions (Before match): 20 & 7

Southampton already down, the first team this season to be relegated, were playing for pride, if such a thing can be said of a team who have barely been off the bottom position all season, so Villa must have fancied their chances after a poor display in Europe during the week and another hard-fought match to come next week. The Saints also handed Juric his marching orders, so were in the care of the interim managers. Would that be a good or bad thing?

They had the first effort on goal after 18 minutes but held off, then Villa went close but the Southampton keeper able to save, In the last five minutes of the half Villa again on target but straight at the keeper. Nothing to separate the teams at half-time, then on the hour almost an own goal by the home side from a Villa corner, but still the scoresheet remained blank, until Watkins won a penalty, Asensio took it but could not score, saved by the keeper.

18 minutes to go and an embarrassing draw was rescued by Watkins who latched onto a long pass and lobbed the keeper, then the floodgates opened as Malen added a second with 10 minutes to go, but Southampton still had a chance to pull one back near the end, the ball sailing wide from a corner, then Villa wrapped it up with another penalty, but just barely. Though Watkins wanted it, Asensio pulled rank (?) and claimed it - and fucking missed again! Luckily McGinn was on hand to tap in the rebound. Failing twice to score a spot kick in the one match will surely have Asensio off penalty kick duty for now!
Result: Southampton 0 - 3 Aston Villa
Scorer(s): Watkins, Malen, McGinn (p) (AST)
Penalties: 2
VAR decision(s), if any: None
Red Cards: None
Controversies: Asensio taking the second penalty after missing the first - and then missing again! That sort of arrogance will have to be addressed.
Respective current positions (After match): 20 & 5
Respective final positions: 20 & 7
Effects: After rising to 5th at the weekend Villa drop back to 7th with Newcastle's win


Teams: Arsenal v Brentford
Regions: London v London
Managers: Mikel Arteta v Thomas Frank
Targets: Arsenal's doomed quest to close the gap continues; Brentford's seemingly equally doomed efforts to get out of the bottom half of the table go on.
Expectation: Arsenal surely
Ground: The Emirates
Respective current positions (Before match): 2 & 12

Arsenal are setting Europe aflame, even if they have little to no chance of catching Liverpool for the title, and facing struggling Brentford should not have been a problem for them (though see Forest/Everton earlier) but it was the visitors who had the first shot on goal after 22 minutes. The Gunners then scored just before the half-hour point, but ruled offside by the new automated offside system. They had the chance to correct that five minutes later but still no goal as we headed for half-time.

It in fact took an hour before Arsenal gave their fans something to cheer as Partey scored the opening goal, and fourteen minutes later Wissa levelled for the visitors. Two minutes later Flecken left the Brentford goal open, Saka unable - somehow - to profit from a really bad goalkeeping decision. A draw not what Arsenal were looking for.

Result: Arsenal 1 - 1 Brentford
Scorer(s): Partey (ARS); Wissa (BRE)
Penalties: None
VAR decision(s), if any: First Arsenal goal ruled offside by the automated offside system
Red Cards: None
Controversies: How did Saka not score, with the goal at his mercy?
Respective current positions (After match): 2 & 11
Respective final positions: 2 & 11
Effects: Brentford move up one place


Teams: Brighton & Hove Albion v Leicester City
Regions: East Sussex v Leicestershire
Managers: Fabian Hurzeler v Ruud van Nistelrooy
Targets: Brighton can leapfrog Fulham in 8th, Leicester are surely going down
Expectation: Brighton
Ground: The Amex
Respective current positions (Before match): 9 & 19

Leicester lost out on what should probably have been a penalty, looked pretty blatant but not given. Worse news for the visitors as Brighton were then awarded a spot kick before the half-hour and scored to take the lead. Eight minutes later an unlikely goal for the Foxes and we were all level at the break. In the second half Brighton got a second penalty, same player and same result, the Seagulls now two to the good, but the Foxes as they say never quit, and back they came with 16 minutes still to play. Off the post then for what could have been a goal to turn the match around completely, but it ended in a rather unlikely draw.

Result: Brighton & Hove Albion 2 - 2 Leicester City
Scorer(s): Joao Pedro (p) (2) (BHA); Mavididi, Okoli (LEI)
Penalties: 2
VAR decision(s), if any: Two penalties, both awarded to Brighton
Red Cards: None
Controversies: None
Respective current positions (After match): 9 & 19
Respective final positions: 10 & 19
Effects: Brighton drop one place to 10th.



Sunday April 12 2025

Liverpool v West Ham United
Newcastle United v Manchester United
Chelsea v Ipswich Town
Wolves v Tottenham Hotspur


Teams: Liverpool v West Ham
Regions: Merseyside v London
Managers: Arne Slot v Graham Potter
Targets: Liverpool just cruising now, West Ham want to get higher in the bottom half of the table
Expectation: Liverpool
Ground: Anfield
Respective current positions (Before match): 1 & 16

3 more games will do it; 9 points will clinch the title, so it's just, as it has been for some time now, a matter of waiting. Would that translate into complacency for the champions elect though, and would they suffer an unexpected and unwanted defeat to a somewhat resurgent West Ham? Would Anfield be shocked? Not if Diaz was having anything to say about it, on the attack within six minutes, and coming close, but no early opening goal. Salah was almost in on 17 with a superb shot that just skimmed over the top of the net, but Liverpool coming closer. And one minute later Diaz did open the scoring.

West Ham weren't just standing around either, and six minutes after Liverpool's opener they went close themselves, Allison equal to it. The Hammers really growing into the game, and could have levelled just before half-time. As the second half opened a free for Liverpool could have doubled their lead but the West Ham keeper leaped to keep it at just the one goal advantage. Just after the hour another chance for the visitors, but only found the keeper. The pressure told as Liverpool were forced into an own goal with six minutes of normal time to go, all square now, and a precious two points lost? All hands to the pumps in the final minutes as the home side desperately tried to get the winner  - and they did. In the very last minute of normal time Van Dijk became Liverpool's saviour, rescuing all three points for the league leaders.

Result: Liverpool 2 - 1 West Ham
Scorer(s): Diaz, Van Dijk (LIV); Robertson (og) (WHU)
Penalties: None
VAR decision(s), if any: None
Red Cards: None
Controversies: None
Respective current positions (After match): 1 & 17
Respective final positions:
Effects: Liverpool now only need two more wins, six points in total and the title will be theirs. West Ham drop to 17th


Teams: Newcastle United v Manchester United
Regions: Tyne & Wear v Manchester
Managers: Eddie Howe v Ruben Amorim
Targets: Newcastle pushing for European football, Man United pushing to get out of the bottom half.
Expectation: Newcastle
Ground: St. James Park
Respective current positions (Before match): 5 & 13

Best wishes to Eddie Howe, who was unwell and taken to hospital and so missed the match, but the lads would be playing for the manager. We hope he's better soon and back where he belongs. His team were on fire, Murphy almost opening the scoring within four minutes, then Man United had a go on twelve minutes but saved by the keeper and over. Just past the midway point of the first half Tonali hammered the ball into the Manchester United net and Newcastle were ahead. A few minutes later and he could have had his second, just wide, but Man United all over the place until six minutes from half-time when, pretty much against the run of play, they scored to equalise, and like Tonali,  Garnacho could have had a second, but it was all square at the break.

Four minutes into the restart and Barnes had restored Newcastle's lead, and just after the hour mark he was on target again, the Magpies tearing Man United apart now. A terrible goalkeeping error let Bruno in for Newcastle's fourth, and the home side were worthy winners.

Result: Newcastle United 4 - 1 Manchester United
Scorer(s): Tonali, Barnes (2), Guimares (NEW); Garnacho (MNU)
Penalties: None
VAR decision(s), if any: None
Red Cards: None
Controversies: None
Respective current positions (After match): 4 & 14
Respective final positions: 4 & 14
Effects: Newcastle reclaim 4th place and are now in Champions League qualification; Man United slip another place to 14th.



Teams: Chelsea v Ipswich Town
Regions: London v Suffolk
Managers: Enzo Maresca v Kieran McKenna
Targets: Another team chasing Champions League football, Chelsea will be trying to hang on to 4th place; Ipswich can probably do nothing except plan for life in the Championship
Expectation: Chelsea
Ground: Stamford Bridge
Respective current positions (Before match): 4 & 18

Eight minutes in and Chelsea should have been ahead but Jackson could only rap it off the post, the Ipswich goal under siege as the match moved towards its twentieth minute but still no goals, until to everyone's surprise the visitors scored to take the lead. The half-hour mark saw Ipswich almost double their advantage, but just wide of the post this time. Then they did score, but was it offside? No it was not: Ipswich two to the good at Stamford Bridge.

The second half wasn't even a minute old though before Ipswich were forced into an own goal, gifting Chelsea a way back into the game, Hirst trying to widen the visitors' lead but not quite equal to the shot. A corner with ten minutes to go then broke Ipswich hearts as Sancho restored parity for the home side. Chelsea went hard for a winner but the Ipswich keeper was heroic in the goal, keeping out at least two good shots, and so the points were shared in the end.

Result: Chelsea 2 - 2 Ipswich Town
Scorer(s): Ensciso, Johnson (IPS); Tuanzebe (og), Sancho (CHE)
Penalties: None
VAR decision(s), if any: Ipswich second goal ruled onside
Red Cards: None
Controversies: None
Respective current positions (After match): 6 & 18
Respective final positions: 6 & 18
Effects: Chelsea slip two places to 6th, losing out for now on European football.


Teams: Wolves v Tottenham Hotspur
Regions: West Midlands v London
Managers: Vitor Pereira v Ange Postecoglu
Targets: Wolves, safe from relegation, just want to put as much distance as they can between them and the bottom three. Spurs, kind of the same.
Expectation: I'd hope Wolves will do it.
Ground: Molyneaux
Respective current positions (Before match): 17 & 14

Within two minutes Wolves were ahead, and almost doubled their lead when the Spurs keeper gave the ball away three minutes later, and seven minutes before the break another error as Spurs scored an own goal to give the home side a two-goal cushion. On the hour Tottenham pulled one back, scoring in the right net this time, but it was only three minutes after that that Wolves restored their two-goal lead with their third. In the dying minutes Spurs cut that to the one goal with their second, but the returning Cunha wasn't having that, and Wolves were four to the good, taking all the points.


Result: Wolves 4 - 2 Tottenham Hotspur
Scorer(s): Ait-Nouri, Spence (og), Strand Larsen, Cunha (WOL); Tel, Richarlison (TOT)
Penalties: None
VAR decision(s), if any: None
Red Cards: None
Controversies: None
Respective current positions (After match): 16 & 15
Respective final positions: 16 & 15
Effects: Wolves move up one place, Spurs fall one.

Monday April 14 2025


Teams: Bournemouth v Fulham
Regions: Dorset v London
Managers: Andoni Iraola v Marco Silva
Targets: 3 points and 2 places between them, both want to move up the top half of the table
Expectation: Draw?
Ground: The Vitality Stadium
Respective current positions (Before match): 10 & 8

The game was decided in the first sixty seconds, Semenyo getting the opening goal, and Bournemouth could have been two ahead early but the crossbar rattled as the ball came back off it, not crossing the line. Fulham had their own chances, but one wide and the other caught by the keeper so just the one goal separating the sides at the break. The home side came close again to doubling their lead in the second half, but the shot was across the face of the goal, then Iwobi could have pulled his team level but the keeper able to stop the shot, so the early goal enough to win it for the Cherries.

Result: Bournemouth 1 - 0 Fulham
Scorer(s): Semenyo (BOU)
Penalties: None
VAR decision(s), if any: None
Red Cards: None
Controversies: None
Respective current positions (After match): 8 & 9
Respective final positions: 8 & 9
Effects: Bournemouth move up two places, Fulham fall one.



Overview

Liverpool continue their inexorable march towards the title; played it a little cagey but pulled it out of the hat in the end, while Chelsea lost out on a chance to retain fourth spot and assure themselves of Champions League football. Manchester City are getting closer, retaining 5th slot and they fought back hard against Crystal Palace to run out comfortable winners in the end, while Forest were beaten by a resurgent Everton, who now see the heady heights of thirteenth place.

Manchester United are having their worse spell since, well, ever really, totally slaughtered by Newcastle away and leading to Roy Keane furiously accusing them of "not being good at anything", while Sir Alex demanded that Amorim be fired. Not really sure what that would achieve; it's the players, not the manager, as it has been for a very long time at Old Trafford. Spurs lose ground again, slipping towards the dotted line (but safe obviously) while Wolves pull away from it, another season of Premiership football secured. Villa battered Southampton, as expected, but there was the curious case of the penalty taker who missed twice.

Ipswich mounted a spirited defence when they took on Chelsea at the Bridge, and should really have won, but ended up leaving with a precious point, while Leicester came back late to force an unlikely draw with Brighton. They're still going down though.