The soccerball thread

[Trollheart]

Meh, I have to admit to being against the run of play here, in that stats being quoted don't bother me. Let's remember, mostly - and I mean mostly - these are quoted BEFORE the match - "Bournemouth have lost their last five matches/Arsenal on a six-game winning streak" etc - and what, after all, are they to say before the match begins? I'm not familiar with stats being thrown out during play, and if they are, I think they're rarer than you're all making out. Just watched MOTD and I didn't hear any. Not only that, but just exactly how much can you describe the play before it gets boring? "Silva passes to Doku. Doku passes to Silva. Silva crosses and Haaland nods it past the post."

It is funny when they trip themselves up,saying things like "Leicester have gone four games without a single goal OH VARDY SCORES!" or the inevitable "This looks like a win for Liverpool unless OH WHAT A GOAL!" 

Yeah but stats don't bother me. They can be quite informative. Of course, I tend to be something of a stats nerd, so who's going to listen to my opinion? One thing I do wish they'd get right is using the English language properly. "Statuesque defending" is NOT what they think it is (cue footballers sashaying down the catwalk) nor is "Fisting the ball away" (oops!) and my current pet hate, "Watching on". No such phrase. It's "looking on" or "watching." The combination makes no sense. Yeah I know.

[jimmy jazz]

I think they're rarer than you're all making out. Just watched MOTD and I didn't hear any.

Trust me Big T, we're living in a stats obsessed era.

Watch the games in full and you will see it. And also Twitter.

xG, heat maps, possession percentages, pass completions, 'goals and assists', we're even using 'pre-assists' now. This isn't including the completely coincidental shit like Kane never scoring in August or Messi never scoring against an English team that you used to hear (until they scored).

You even kind of mention one way which stats have affected the way the game is played, with the pass pass pass comment. It's rare to see players shooting from outside the box now or hoofing it up from a goal kick, preferring to pass from the back because statistically it's more likely a goal will result. It's more numbers driven and less exciting as a result.

Just fucking hoof it up to the big man!!!

[Marie Monday]

The problem with all the stats is the usual one: people throw stats at something to pretend it can be treated like a hard science when it can't be and there's no reason why it should be.

Commentary for the women's games is probably worse than for the men's, but they do spew stats during the entire game. Specifically a lot of the 'Kane never scoring in August' type too, which is what bothers me most. The type of stat that gives a brief summary of how a team is currently doing is the only reasonable exception, but that's not really what I meant.

What are they supposed to mention instead? Give some fun facts. Or discuss your opinion on the current form of the players and how you think the game will go. As to commentary during the game, an aspiring writer should know better than to think narration has to be that dry. Make it colourful, be enthusiastic, fill up the dull bits with analysis of how things are going. I agree with the complaints about the language quality though.

[jimmy jazz]

Sam Allardyce is the most successful England manager of all time in terms of win ratio (100%)

Big Sam 

[jimmy jazz]

Bayern Munich have lost every game they've ever played against Aston Villa, failing to even score a single goal!

[Marie Monday]

Yep that's the issue 

[Trollheart]

@jimmy jazz you have a point. I almost never watch full matches, so maybe I'm just not hearing it. The heat map is funny though. I suppose next it'll be a map showing how hard each player was breathing or one showing their heartbeat!

Since we're moaning, what is the deal with the fucking MOTD league table? Every poxy week it's shown side-on as the camera SLOWLY moves forward, so I'm squinting to see the top teams, and by the time it's face-on the fucking thing has racked down to the lower end of the league! Why can't they just present it flat, first time? Why does some stupid cunt of a director think he's Spielberg and have to have a fucking dolly shot? Arseholes. 

[Psy-Fi]

Women footballers urge Fifa to end Saudi oil deal

[Marie Monday]

Viv being a menace as usual 

[jimmy jazz]

If this story gathers momentum they will 100% get accused of racism and xenophobia for this, and people will start digging around for shit things western sponsors have done as proof of a double standard.

Saw it with the Qatar World Cup and also Man Citys owners.

Not saying I disagree though.

[Marie Monday]

oh yeah and people are already whining about 'hypocrisy' because their clubs are being sponsored by oil money/airlines. As if there's any way to be a top level footballer and avoid things like that. Fifa and football clubs are rotten, these women are just trying to make things a bit less bad

[jimmy jazz]

Big Ben <3

[Trollheart]

Your former name. I remember.

[jimmy jazz]

Breaking: Emi Martínez has won the Yashin Trophy again.

Best goalkeeper in the world confirmed.

Will surpass Paul McGrath in Villa legendary by he time he retires.

[jimmy jazz]

MAN CITY HAVE LOST AGAIN!!!