Emotional Intelligence Test

[Meatwad]

^ The Empathy-related aspects of the test must be a bit faulty, because your score does not mirror your very generous contributions to the Mental Health thread. 👍

I think empathy is terribly overrated since it relies on being familiar with another persons frame of reference, which if you think about it, can be interpreted as a form of self indulgence in regards to ones own personal history and not nearly as generous of a personality trait that people make it out to be. Some of the feelings that people are trying to tap into to make that connection in the course of their empathy are a product of their own personal melancholies so this process isn't uniquely targeting the individual receiving said empathy. Furthermore, its also rather serendipitous  which experiences we're able to be intimately familiar with in regards to whoever is needing assistance, so empathy isn't even a default skill as its sometimes just good luck if we can relate to someone elses narrative.

Conversely, with something like sympathy, at least you're attempting to appreciate someone elses situation without having any real personal experience relating to their predicament so its potentially a more meaningful interaction, albeit one that is more likely to fail due to a lack of intimate knowledge of the situation.

I also believe that how I feel toward someone else has very little pragmatic use to help assist in offering practical solutions to their problems.

[ribbons]

I think empathy is terribly overrated since it relies on being familiar with another persons frame of reference, which if you think about it, can be interpreted as a form of self indulgence in regards to ones own personal history and not nearly as generous of a personality trait that people make it out to be. Some of the feelings that people are trying to tap into to make that connection in the course of their empathy are a product of their own personal melancholies so this process isn't uniquely targeting the individual receiving said empathy. Furthermore, its also rather serendipitous  which experiences we're able to be intimately familiar with in regards to whoever is needing assistance, so empathy isn't even a default skill as its sometimes just good luck if we can relate to someone elses narrative.

Conversely, with something like sympathy, at least you're attempting to appreciate someone elses situation without having any real personal experience relating to their predicament so its potentially a more meaningful interaction, albeit one that is more likely to fail due to a lack of intimate knowledge of the situation.

I also believe that how I feel toward someone else has very little pragmatic use to help assist in offering practical solutions to their problems.

@Meatwad, I agree with you that empathy is somewhat overrated in that it can verge on self-indulgence, and that sympathy is actually the more appreciable quality as it does not arise from self-reference.  Both empathy and sympathy are very important and meaningful in human relations, though - depending on how they are *applied*. 

[Meatwad]

@Meatwad, I agree with you that empathy is somewhat overrated in that it can verge on self-indulgence, and that sympathy is actually the more appreciable quality as it does not arise from self-reference.  Both empathy and sympathy are very important and meaningful in human relations, though - depending on how they are *applied*. 

It has its place on occasion (and is usually only a sporadic occurrence to begin with), but quite often people aren't actively attempting to field solutions and are just mirroring the exact emotion of the individual in question, which really does very little to assist and could well feed into the distress that is being experienced.

[ribbons]

It has its place on occasion (and is usually only a sporadic occurrence to begin with), but quite often people aren't actively attempting to field solutions and are just mirroring the exact emotion of the individual in question, which really does very little to assist and could well feed into the distress that is being experienced.

Yes, totally agree with the bolded.  Speaking only for myself here, I am usually mindful to keep the focus on the individual in distress, even if there is experience in common, unless there is something really vital or helpful that I can share to aid that person.  Otherwise it's just me talking about myself/leveraging the other person's suffering for my own benefit.

[degrassi.knoll]

When I think of empathy I think of it in terms of having a meet-them-where-they-are mentality in regard to all people. You can't assume a persons history or experience, nor can you understand the context of what has brought a person to *this* current moment - therefore it's empathetic to accept others as they come without presumption.

Buddhists say we are all on our own path to The Buddha, and it's neither productive nor empathetic to judge another's journey along their path, nor is it effective to attempt to predict their future progress. All we can do is accept where a person is now. In my opinion, that is empathy.

[ribbons]

When I think of empathy I think of it in terms of having a meet-them-where-they-are mentality in regard to all people. You can't assume a persons history or experience, nor can you understand the context of what has brought a person to *this* current moment - therefore it's empathetic to accept others as they come without presumption.

Buddhists say we are all on our own path to The Buddha, and it's neither productive nor empathetic to judge another's journey along their path, nor is it effective to attempt to predict their future progress. All we can do is accept where a person is now. In my opinion, that is empathy.

Bolded for absolute agreeance.  Very well reasoned and well stated.  <3

[Meatwad]

This is the distinction that Merriam Webster gives and what I consider it to embody in that it involves an active vicarious feeling of emotion, thoughts and experiences : https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/empathy#:~:text=empathy-,noun,also%20%3A%20the%20ability%20for%20this

Their comparison between sympathy and empathy also states that no active sharing of emotion is present with sympathy.

"Sympathy vs. Empathy

Sympathy and empathy both refer to a caring response to the emotional state of another person, but a distinction between them is typically made: while sympathy is a feeling of sincere concern for someone who is experiencing something difficult or painful, empathy involves actively sharing in the emotional experience of the other person."

[degrassi.knoll]

Yep. To feel empathy is to be cognizant of the human condition. To be sympathetic is to say "better them than me."