Manchester Meltdown: The Fall of a Footballing Dynasty

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XVI: Europe calling: The Special One arrives at Old Trafford

This time Manchester United looked to Europe for their salvation, and believed they had found it in the shape of Dutch manager Louis van Gaal, who had previously steered Ajax, Barcelona and Bayern Munich to glory, but his arrival at United in 2014 coincided with the departure of some of their better players, including Patrice Evra and Rio Ferdinand, and he was also the first non-British coach to take control of the team. At the time, though other teams were being managed by "foreign" managers (Chelsea and Liverpool being notable ones) there was still the kind of, let's not call it prejudice but perhaps uneasiness about a "foreigner" coming in to a club like Manchester United, which had always prided itself on having been run by men from the Home Countries.

So Van Gaal faced a lot of opposition and resentment, particularly in the wake of Moyes' failure and swift departure, and many may have thought this was something of a knee-jerk reaction by the board, expecting someone perhaps more like Terry Venables or Bobby Robson, a man linked to English football history. Or an ex-player. Many clamoured for Giggs to be given the job full time, but whether he wanted it or not, four matches in charge was certainly not seen as enough experience to take over running one of the most powerful clubs in English football, and so United made the choice to "go with a foreigner".

It was a gamble, and one that did not pay off, United losing their first match at home against lowly Swansea City, the first time the Welsh team had ever beaten them on their own turf, and the first time United had lost the opening match of a season in more than forty years. Two uninspiring draws against lower opposition followed as they failed to beat either Sunderland or Burnley, it taking them four games into the season before they finally registered a victory. Starting the season at a shocking 16th, they had clawed their way up to 9th but by the time future champions Leicester City had beaten them 5-3 they were languishing at 12th. It would, however, be the lowest they would go for the rest of that season. Their confidence was boosted by a repeat of the Manchester Derby, which they had lost in November 1-0, this time resulting in a 4-2 victory over their rivals in April 2015. United were now sitting third in the table and looking at European football. Their joy was short-lived however, as they now suffered three straight defeats, one victory and two draws to end the season fourth. It was still a massive comeback from their starting position, credit for much of which had to be given to goalkeeper David DeGea, who had pulled their fat out of the fire more times than seemed possible, keeping them in games they should by all rights have lost. Though City did not win the title this year either, they still ended up two places and nine points above their rivals.

United exited the FA Cup in the sixth round at the hands of Arsenal, and the League Cup humiliatingly to MK Dons with a 4-0 thrashing. With no European football for them that season, this was another one to end with nothing new to be added to the trophy cabinet. 2015 started well with two victories, against Spurs and Villa, giving United top spot for the first time in two years. They weren't able to hold it though, and would end the season a poor 5th, a long way behind surprise champions Leicester City. United would lose ten games (three in a row, like last season) and draw nine, including against their rivals nil-nil, though they would beat them later in the season. Defeats for United this season included a 3-0 thrashing away by Arsenal and an embarrassing loss to newly-promoted sides Bournemouth, also away, and Norwich City, at Old Trafford. Having lost to Southampton, United were booed off the pitch by their fans. Van Gaal must have been having a Moyesque moment, seeing the trapdoor opening under his feet.

February saw some respite for the under pressure manager, as Marcus Rashford, a product of the Manchester United academy, made his debut and scored twice to take down Arsenal, off the back of a shock defeat to relegation strugglers Sunderland. Rashford would be instrumental in United's fight to get back to the top, though he would have his own problems with the management. He helped them overcome their biggest rivals too, when United ran out 4-2 winners of the Manchester Derby, Rashford clinching the winner, but like much of their season, this was offset by another shock defeat, this time to West Brom, who had not beaten Man United in over three decades. Nevertheless, Van Gaal's Ferguson-like faith in the young hopefuls earned him points with fans, though a see-saw pattern of results - win, lose, win, lose, win, draw etc - kept United out of fourth place as City claimed this honour, and the right to play European football next season in the Champions League. United would have to settle for the Europa League.

They did win the FA Cup, after extra time against Crystal Palace, but lost the EFL Cup to another bogie team of theirs, the perennial party-poopers, Middlesbrough, exited the Champions League at the group stages, and, transferred to the Europa League, lost out to Liverpool, ending a poor season in Europe. Two days after taking the FA Cup, that trapdoor flopped open and Louis Van Gaal dropped through. Another one bites the dust, ja?

What was needed, clearly, was someone equal to, or at least comparable to Ferguson, and the board hunted about for a suitable successor, someone who was worthy of wearing the crown the Scot had worn for 27 years. United believed they had found him in Jose Mourinho, the mercurial and highly successful coach who had taken Chelsea to three Premier League titles, their first ever, three EFL Cups and an FA Cup. He's the man for us, they rubbed their hands and thought. If he can do all that for Chelsea, taking them from what was pretty much at the time a mediocre side and turning them into a team of champions, he can do it for Manchester United, return us to the top, get us back into Europe, properly.

He would have some success with United, mostly in Europe, but they would never again be Premier League champions. Things didn't start too well when United had a chance to do the double over City but lost the Manchester Derby, and then, to rub salt into the wounds, his former team beat them as Chelsea took them in a humiliating 4-0 defeat, though Mourinho was able to take revenge on City in the EFL Cup where his team ran out 1-0 winners. But whereas we expect players to cause trouble on and off the field, we don't always anticipate such behaviour from managers. Mourinho though, arrogant to a fault, questioned refereeing decisions, taunted opposing fans and made comments that got him into a lot of hot water. After United went out of the Champions League at the hands of Spanish side Sevilla, he held a 12-minute conference which turned into something of a rant as he defended his time at the club. Here's the report.

Directly addressing the fans' anger, he said they "have the right to their opinions and reactions, but there is something that I used to call football heritage".
He explained "football heritage" by saying United have only reached the Champions League quarter-finals once since losing the 2011 final.
Mourinho also compared United's recent league and European record to that of Manchester City, who have finished above United in every season since Sir Alex Ferguson retired in 2013.
He said: "Do you know what is also heritage? Nicolas Otamendi, Kevin de Bruyne, Fernandinho, David Silva, Raheem Sterling, Sergio Aguero - they are investments from the past, not from the last two years.
"One day when I leave, the next Manchester United manager will find here Romelu Lukaku, Nemanja Matic, of course David de Gea from many years ago, they will find players with a different mentality, quality, background, with a different status and know-how.
"I could be in another country with the league in the pocket, but I am here and I am going to be here, and no way am I going to change my mentality.
"I'm not going to disappear from the tunnel, running immediately; the next match, I will be the first to go out. I am not afraid of my responsibilities.
"When I was 20, I was nobody in football. I was somebody's son, with a lot of pride, and now at 55 I am what I am. I did what I did because of work and because of talent and my mentality."

You could take from that that he was refusing to accept responsibility for the loss, that he expected it, or that fans' expectations were too high. I really don't know, but he certainly was not one to take criticism lying down, seeming to see it almost as an insult, an attack upon him personally. He would see his old club come back to haunt him again as Chelsea beat Man United 1-0 to lift the FA Cup, while at least in the Premier League they went unbeaten until October, one of his new signings, Belgian Romelu Lukaku, scoring in almost every match. This included a 2-0 victory over new champions Leicester City and a 3-2 defeat of Manchester City, who would go on to take the title, as well as a 3-1 hammering of Arsenal and 2-1 defeats of both Liverpool and Chelsea later in the season. They finished second, their best result in years, but well behind City, who took the title with 100 points, 19 more than United. It was also the last season United would ever be in the top four. It must, however, have been some comfort to the ex-Chelsea boss to see his old team struggling in 5th with 11 points less than United.

They went out of the EFL Cup in the 5th round to Championship side Bristol Rovers, and as mentioned were knocked out of the Champions League by Spain's Sevilla in the knockout round second leg, prompting Mourinho's diatribe after the match. The next season, which would be Mourinho's last in charge, started poorly, with two bad back-to-back defeats, one to Brighton and one to Spurs, and continued with too many draws and defeats, including two more humiliating losses to Manchester City. By the end of the season, they could only win two of their remaining eight games, drawing two of the last three, and ending up sixth in the table, the beginning of the slide for the former champions of English football.

They lost to Wolves in the quarter-finals of the FA Cup, were beaten on penalties by Derby in the EFL Cup, exited the Champions League in also the quarter-finals, beaten by Barcelona in the second leg (having lost both) and would not qualify for Europe again the following season. After a terrible start to the Premier League, with United sitting an awful 16th, Mourinho remained unrepentant, calling himself the one of the greatest managers in the world. Clearly, he was not a fan of the maxim "you're only as good as your last job". United's board were though, and they parted company the week before Christmas. A lump of coal in your stocking, Jose!

The next man to try the job would come both from further afield, and closer to home, as United rethought the Ryan Giggs idea, and decided to give an ex-player a shot at managing the team he had once played in, though mostly as a substitute.

[Trollheart]

XVII: Ghosts in the wind: The world shuts down

2020 will of course always be remembered for one thing: the year Covid-19 arrived on our shores. As the virus moved insidiously across Europe and towards Britain and Ireland, people (and governments) began to take notice and venues were shut down. After some consultation, having been suspended for four months from March to June 2020, the Premier League made a partial return, to the eerie sound of footballers playing to ghost supporters, as fans were not allowed to attend matches (or, in most cases, even leave their homes) and games were played behind closed doors. To paraphrase Homer Simpson, I never realised how boring football is without commentary and the roar of the crowd.

City began the season as champions, but would find themselves unable to defend that crown, little of which, if any, can be laid at the door of the pandemic. They still maintained an impressive lead, holding onto the number 2 position (where they finished) for almost the entire season. They only lost 9 matches (one of which, to their delight, was against their red rivals, who put paid to what was at the time a three-game unbeaten run; United would emerge victorious in both their encounters with the champions) and drew three, with impressive victories over Arsenal, Liverpool and Newcastle. At the end of the season they would be 18 points behind a rampant Liverpool, who took their revenge for being pipped to the title the previous season by just a single point, but still 15 above their red city rivals. If they wished to partake of any footballing schadenfreude, City could gloat over the fact that Liverpool had to lift the Premiership trophy to an empty stadium, thanks to Covid restrictions. I'm sure they weren't that petty-minded, though.


Eager to defend their FA Cup title, they made it to the semi-finals but lost out to Arsenal, while they beat Aston Villa 2-1 to retain the EFL Cup. In the Champions League they were beaten in the quarter-finals by Lyon, leaving them with just the one trophy for that season. The euphoria of the previous year was certainly evaporating. Only temporary though, as the next season was to see them again top the table. With stunning unoriginality and a sense of it would be funny if it wasn't so sad, the FA and the Premier League decided that, with fans still not allowed to attend matches by the  government due to Covid concerns as infection rates and deaths spiked, the idea of "empty stadiums" was not catching on, and so they used applause and cheers recorded from the FIFA videogame! Why each club didn't just get its fans to record the noises and then use them is beyond me, but what do I know? At any rate, the 2020/21 season began in this way, and continued until more than a third of the way into 2021.

Things did not start well for City, with some shock defeats plunging them to the bottom half of the table, but they rallied in November and then went on a 21-game unbeaten run to end the season top of the table again, this time 12 points ahead of Man United, who would be spending their last season anywhere near the top. Considering this was a season in which both Sergio Aguero and Gabriel Jesus, their top strikers, were out injured for much of the time, this was a pretty remarkable comeback for City. This was also the season they signed Jack Grealish from Villa, infuriating me, and the year European Cup glory was so almost in touching distance, when they made it to the final of the Champions League but lost to Chelsea. An interesting quirk about that tournament is that in the quarter-finals they came up against Borussia Dortmund, who had Erling Haaland playing for them. The next year, Haaland would sign for City and be instrumental in their defence of their title.

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Intermission II: Greed is not good - The many deaths of the Super League

This 2020/21 season marked what many would consider potentially the darkest day in football (not counting tragedies or deaths) when a conglomerate of super-rich businessmen essentially tried to buy the game. The so-called European Super League, an intended rival to the UEFA Champions League, was an idea that had been around since the 1960s, but which had been shot down each time it was raised. The main idea behind it, to nobody's surprise, was the capability of making more and more money out of sponsorship and television deals, but most clubs and football associations - including UEFA and FIFA - had blocked it.

The most recent attempt was generally a Spanish idea, with the presidents of Barcelona, Real Madrid and Juventus trying to "steal away" the big clubs from the Premiership. The idea, apparently, this time ran thusly: one of the biggest impacts Covid had had on football was, supposedly, to tilt the already heavy bank balance of super-rich clubs slightly in a direction they would prefer it had not gone. Or in other words, they'd lost money, but were still richer than God. To offset this, it looks to me as if they decided to blackmail UEFA: implement the changes we want or we steal all the decent teams from you, and you can have your Champions League with teams like Young Boys and Schalke04, and see how far you get with that!

The "decent teams" of which they were speaking, other than their own, were of course the big English ones: Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea, Tottenham and the two Manchester clubs, as well as the three big Italian clubs - Inter Milan, AC Milan and of course Juventus - and the two Spanish clubs plus Atletico. These 12 teams would then compete in the new "European Super League" against each other, removing them from the Champions League, therefore denying the smaller clubs the chance to play them, and making the whole thing a lot more predictable and boring. Imagine the FA Cup without League 2 or lower participation. The other thing this would do would be to take away the chance of earning European revenue from the smaller clubs, creating a "super-tier" of English and European football, codifying the gulf between the leagues and further distancing the top clubs from the lower, poorer ones. It was, in essence, football by the rich for the rich.

A governing principle of the ESL was that "once you're in, you're fucking in, pal!" There was no mechanism for clubs to leave, unless the league was officially dissolved, and a reported £300 million penalty and "unlimited fines" for trying to do so. Sounds like the football mafia to me! The founders were not, however, prepared for the outraged backlash their plan received. Given that the whole thing had been conducted in secrecy (with FIFA involved through a codename, while publicly railing against the proposal) the enterprise stank to high Heaven, and possibly low Hell too. Governing football bodies were quick to condemn it, and warn that any club taking part would suffer serious sanctions, such as their players not being able to take part in other international competitions, or for their country in the World Cup or Euros. They would also be banned from taking part in their own country's domestic leagues, though the FA, presumably realising how much money the Premiership, FA Cup etc bring in, did not go this far. FIFA, anxious to abandon the rapidly-sinking ship and pretend it had been against it all along, turned coat and sided with UEFA and the various footballing bodies condemning the proposal.

Next to have their say were the smaller clubs, or, you might say unkindly, the clubs who had not been asked to join. In England, West Ham, Leeds and Everton all proudly proclaimed their working-class roots and their allegiance to English football, and condemned both the ESL and the "Big Six" teams who had initially signed on to take part. Fans took to the streets in protest, and as a consequence, politicians got involved, with the British Prime Minister at the time, Boris Johnson, who had probably never even seen a football match never mind attended one, pretending to be a man of the people and strongly coming out against the idea of the Super League. Current PM, then in opposition, Keir Starmer, agreed, as did the governments of Spain, Italy and France.

Former players of Manchester United had nothing but contempt for the proposal, and both expressed shock and anger that the club they had made their names in had acceded to the invitation to join. Jurgen Klopp was against it (but did not offer to resign from it), Pep Guardiola lived up to his name and was very guarded, arguing for both sides, and Chelsea's manager at the time also got splinters in his arse. This all at a time when nobody really knew what was going to happen, and most were, it seems, still hedging their bets. Sky, BT Sports and Amazon all backed away, hands facing outwards and promising they had not made any deals to broadcast the new Super League (though if they had, they would surely not have admitted it), but perhaps the most important and public demonstration against it was from the people who really mattered, the ones who paid to see their teams week after week, bought the shirts, videos, mugs and whatever else the clubs wanted to sell them, and in a way, paid their wages.

Fans were unanimously against the idea, and marched to show their disgust, holding placards like "Hands off our game" and "Football is for all", making impassioned speeches about how the whole deal was likely to destroy English football, and how they variously could not believe that their club endorsed the plan/were delighted and proud their club had said no. Anger was building to a fever pitch: like we Irish if you were to take away our pubs (or our churches, Henry VIII!) the worst thing you can do to an Englishman is take away his footy. For many people, that's all they have to look forward to after a full week's work, and not to be able to go and watch United or City or Arsenal was a step too far. This had to stop.

And it did.

On April 20 2021 all the six major English Premier League clubs withdrew from the Super League, leaving only the Spanish and Italian ones remaining. Protests at both Chelsea and Leeds grounds (where the latter were playing Liverpool) got heated, with the buses of both home and away players being blocked at Stamford Bridge by angry fans, until the club announced it was withdrawing from the agreement. Manchester City were the first to formally do so, followed by Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United and Tottenham. Chelsea, despite making the announcement first (probably due to that protest and its urgency) were last to actually leave the Super League. Soon after, Atletico Madrid, Inter Milan and AC Milan did the same. It took over a month for Juventus to shuffle off, but Barcelona and Real Madrid remain. Perhaps they can play with themselves?

The big English clubs all issued statements unreservedly apologising for their poor judgement and requesting, in the words of Krusty the Klown, "please don't quit the fan club!" Managers had had, so far as can be seen, no input into the decision, and most disagreed with it but had no say, so fans did not hold the likes of Klopp, Guardiola or whoever was in charge of United that week of any wrongdoing, but the debacle left a dark cloud over each club and built, or extended, a fundamental distrust between fans and chairmen. Of  Liverpool's board it was said, and probably with some justification, "They're not sorry; they're just sorry they got caught out." As a result of protests, some, but not all, of the clubs included fan representation at the boardroom level. Many top executives at the Big Six were fired or invited to resign, an enquiry was launched into the whole business, and large fines levied on each club. Plans were put in place to ensure British law and FA rules prevent any English club from attempting to join such an enterprise in the future, ruling out any possibility of Premier League participation in any version of the ESL that should struggle out of the coffin the fans, the media and the governments of various nations have nailed it into, and upon whose grave UEFA have danced.

For those of us to whom this news, while percolating away like bad coffee for years it seems, was fresh, the whole thing seemed to be over in a flash. I watched the report on Sky News about it, and either within the bulletin or slightly after (okay, it may have been a day later; I think I was left with a feeling of anxiety so probably not as immediate as all that) the announcement was made that the Super League had been scrapped, or that at least the big English clubs had all backed out, and the idea was as good as dead. Talk about a victory for the common man! When, before, has people power triumphed over tycoons and tyrants? Well, this time it did. Mind you, had everyone who mattered said yes, or said nothing, perhaps we would today have a far different football league, if any, and Gary Lineker might be out of a job!

From the start, the whole idea of the European Super League was to make money - it might as well have added "Rich" as its third word - but that's to be expected. Nobody who plays football, bar those in the really lower leagues, plays for free, and even those who do dream of one day making it big and being a household name. There's nothing wrong, in principle, with football clubs or organisations wanting to make money. Where it falls down though is when the only ones to make money are those who have already too much; the super rich, megacorporations and high net worth individuals who own clubs such as Chelsea, Real Madrid or Liverpool, and when those who really need a cash injection are to be left out in the cold.

It's quite clear that the men who organised this monstrosity had little to no interest in the game, and I say that realising fully that it was spearheaded by the president of Real Madrid. The weak excuses given, the vague promises that the smaller clubs would not suffer, the all but shrug at the downside speaks to people who are primarily and only concerned with lining their pockets and those of their friends, and don't give a curse how adversely their plans would affect European football. They don't care about the fans: they're just numbers, ticket prices, a demographic to be manipulated, used or ignored as suits their purposes. Not people, just figures and statistics on a balance sheet. VAR has already done a very good job of reducing our game to measurements, statistics and probabilities. We don't need some super rich elitist league stealing our players and our teams. Already too many are going to China and Saudi Arabia, the lure of lucre too strong for them to resist, or maybe they just don't care anymore.

But whichever way you choose to view it - some claim "global politics" was the big barrier to the Super League's being accepted, and maybe it was - in times of crisis for football, there'll never be a voice as loud as those of the fans.

Football is for all, not a piggy bank or rainy-day fund for a bunch of people who are rich enough already. In the end, money may very well make the world go around, but football makes it just that little bit more bearable.

[Trollheart]

XVIII: Norway, Jose! The Super Sub returns

Famed as the man who was always coming off the bench to clinch the winning goal, and nicknamed "the baby-faced assassin" for his boyish looks, which honestly make him still look about 12 when he's well into his 50s, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer was an instant hit with the fans when he was invited to take charge of the team on a temporary basis, as the bewildered board, surely amazed that the Special One had not managed to work his magic for them, looked around anxiously for another saviour. While they did that, Solskjaer led the team to five successive victories, their first being a 5-1 demolition of Cardiff City, a team he had previously managed. This was the first time United had scored five goals since 2013, and as the team strode on to victory after victory, it began to look more and more to everyone that Ole was the man to get them back to winning ways. In fact, they went on a staggering 13-game unbeaten run, only stopped by Arsenal in March, though after that they seemed to come to something of a juddering halt.

It's perhaps odd that as soon as Solskjaer was given the job on a permanent basis, his win ratio began to drop dramatically as the results dried up. Manchester United began to lose ground badly, losing four of their remaining eight games, drawing two and winning just two. They never really rose above sixth and that was where they finished, a jaw-dropping 32 points below champions Manchester City, and crashed out of the FA Cup in the quarter-finals, losing to Wolves. Derby County knocked them out of the EFL Cup on penalties, and lost to Barcelona in the Champions League. 2019, Solskjaer's first full season as manager, started well with a 4-0 thrashing of Chelsea, but very quickly United slipped into what was becoming the norm, losing and drawing matches to teams like Crystal Palace, Wolves, Chelsea and Southampton, though they did beat City both times they faced them. Towards the end of the season they made a spurt, winning 9 of their last 14 matches, and drawing the rest. It was an improvement, but too little too late, and they finished the season third, 15 points behind second-placed Manchester City and 33 points behind champions Liverpool. They were knocked out of the FA Cup by Chelsea again, and to their horror, it was Man City who booted them out of the EFL Cup. That just left the Champions League, but they hadn't qualified for that, so had to settle for being kicked out of the Europa League, again by Sevilla.

The next season, paradoxically the one in which United ended second in the league, their best result since Alex Ferguson had retired, was to be the last with Solskjaer in charge (thank Christ, because I'm getting tired misspelling his name!) with some highs (4-1 win over Newcastle away, 6-2 demolition of Leeds at home, 2-0 defeat of Man City at the Etihad) and some lows (6-1 loss to Spurs at Old trafford, 4-2 defeat at the hands of Liverpool at home too) and featured their best-ever result, and joint highest scoring match in Premiership history, a 9-0 savaging of Southampton.  Amazingly, the Saints had already suffered nine goals without response when they played former champions Leicester City in 2019, and United had also put nine past Ipswich Town way back in 1995, their own highest score being 10-0 against Anderlecht back in the mists of time, 1956, but of course that wasn't in English football, and was well before the formation of the Premier League. And long before most of these players had been born, including their manager.

Speaking of whom, with results like that, you'd have imagined Solskjaer (there! Last fucking time I have to spell it!) would have remained, but a club like Manchester United, while they want to win the Premier League, are more interested in Europe, and there United stumbled, losing to German side RB Leipzig in the group stages and again being transferred to the Europa League (which kinda seems like it might be seen as the remedial class for football; only the "special" teams play there) where they got to the final but could only draw with Villareal, and lost 10-11 on penalties. As well as this humiliating loss (can't even win the fucking Europa League, what use are you?) it no doubt stuck in the board's craw that City again won the title, United a full 12 points behind them. Add in exits from the FA Cup at the hands of Leicester and the EFL Cup courtesy of their deadly rivals, and Ole Ole Ole, it was time to say adios, and back to Norway he went. Not even the semi-triumphant return of another United favourite could save him.

[Trollheart]

XIX: Panic, Pandemic and Phantoms: I'm (Not) Alright, Jack

By 2020 the Covid-19 pandemic was in full swing, and football, like every other aspect of human society, had to take a back seat. Liverpool had won the 2019/2020 title but had been frustrated at having to hoist the cup to an empty Anfield, as nobody was allowed to attend games, under the British government's stay-at-home directive. The next season was delayed starting, so teams scrambled to catch up and, like I suppose waking in a foreign land, the "football body clock", so to speak, was out of sync. Players were used to starting the season in August but had to wait another month before the FA gave the go-ahead.

The season did not start well for City. Their second game was a humiliating 5-2 defeat to Leicester City at home, and shortly afterwards a 2-0 loss to Tottenham also at home. Despite investing in their defence with players like Nathan Ake and Ruben Dias being signed, as well as Ferran Torres, the first months saw them slide down the table, and by November they were out of the top half altogether. The smart money would say this was the beginning of a downturn in their fortunes. However, Guardiola's attention to his team's defence paid off, and the defeat to Tottenham Hotspur in November was the last time they would lose a game all season, going on an incredible 82-day winning streak and breaking records all over the place.

However, City, like, it must be said, most teams in the football league, were less than stringent about Covid regulations. I shook my head in despair as, with the advice being to stay two metres away from another person, to wear masks and avoid personal touching, players regularly high-fived each other, never wore masks and managers shook hands. It was as if they believed that somehow the virus was a football fan, and wouldn't affect them. In this, they were soon to be proven wrong. December saw an outbreak of Covid-19 at the City Football Academy, leading to the cancellation of their game against Everton, and a very sad Christmas for many players as they faced self-isolation over the festive period, including already-injured Sergio Agüero and Gabriel Jesus. Again, I want to make it clear that it was not just one team breaking the rules, nor indeed one outbreak: we had one at Villa. They were all at it. About as either arrogant or uncomprehending of the seriousness of the situation as it is possible to be. Luckily there were no deaths.

Nevertheless, by the start of the new year City were top of the table again, fighting off a challenge from Man United, who were second. 7 days before Valentine's Day City spoiled Liverpool's celebrations of the most romantic (sic) day of the year by pummelling them 4-1 at Anfield - Liverpool were the current champions - but their old enemy did the same thing to them a month later, bringing their seemingly unstoppable winning streak to a grinding halt as they beat them 2-0 at home, just to rub salt in the wounds. At the end of that month, the club announced the departure of their all-time highest goalscorer, the man who had scored the goal that had won them the title in 2011/12 and who had won just about every award there was and broken all records, Sergio Agüero. He would be a hard act to follow, and in the end his leaving would signal something of a slow collapse for Manchester City.

Once again they were going for the almost-impossible quadruple, and while the league looked in hand, and they advanced to the semi-finals of the Champions League, their chances took a knock as Chelsea kicked them out of the FA Cup. But the treble was still on, and they went on to beat Spurs and take the League Cup, the first of their trophies for that season. The day after their FA Cup exit City made the same mistake the other "big six" clubs made and announced plans to join the European Super League, which, as we've seen, set off protests and fired up anger across the UK. To some extent, not just City but Liverpool, Man United, Chelsea, Spurs and Arsenal have never quite regained the trust and loyalty of the fans after this blatant money grab, putting their pockets ahead of the interests of the fans. It was a low period in English football.

Having destroyed their chances of a quadruple, Chelsea went one better and took the treble from City, defeating them 1-0 in the Champions League final, though City went on to win the league so did at least have a double to celebrate. They also managed to take revenge on Leicester when they beat them 2-0 away in April, and were 12 points clear of Manchester United in second when they clinched their third title in four years.

The next season City made a permanent enemy of me when they enticed our top scorer, Jack Grealish, to join them as they prepared to defend their title. This year would see City divide their attention between foreign and domestic competitions and international ones, as the delayed Euros, slated for 2020 but postponed due to Covid, kicked off at the start of 2021. 15 players from the team played in various European sides. This did not stop Manchester City from defending their title, the start of a four-season stay at the top.

Again they began their season with a defeat, 1-0 to Spurs, but soon put that right in emphatic fashion with two 5-0 victories over Norwich City and Arsenal, and a 1-0 win against Leicester, and went all but the whole of the rest of the season unbeaten, just two defeats in total. This time they weren't letting United break their unbroken streak and they sailed past them 2-0 in November and 4-1 in March. Four more big victories on their way to their fourth title included a 5-0 win at home to Newcastle and a 5-1 home victory against Watford, as well as defeating Leeds 4-0 away and Wolves 5-1 at Molyneaux. In the FA Cup they were stopped at the semi-finals stage by Liverpool, and were beaten 5-3 on penalties after a nil-all draw in the finals of the EFL Cup. Again they made it to the semifinals of the Champions League, where they beat Real Madrid 4-3 in the first leg but lost 3-1 in the return fixture, making it 6-5 on aggregate to Real.

It's not just a case of sour grapes (well yes it is, but it's also a statistical fact) but the 100 million - a record transfer in English football at the time - paid for Grealish didn't really pay dividends, as throughout the season he scored a total of six goals in all competitions, well behind Raheem Sterling (17) and Kevin DeBruyne (19), both of whom scored hat-tricks. A young Phil Foden scored 9 goals, and was voted the Young Player of the Year, while Ederson won the Golden Glove for the third season running. Despite a fine run though, it's notable that this season City finished just a single point above second-placed Liverpool, United a poor sixth, 35 points behind City.

[Trollheart]

XX: Erik the Red: One last glimpse of glory before a slow slide into mediocrity

With the departure of Solskjaer, United looked to a local man to fill the gap while they attempted to draw the interest of a new manager. The problem was, their club was not the force it had once been, and whereas before men would have been fighting to take charge at Old Trafford, seven straight seasons without a trophy and an increasing bad run in Europe - when they were there, which wasn't too often - had seen the Red Devils more or less shorn of their horns and declawed. Their blue neighbours were literally the noisy ones now, and though Guardiola wasn't going anywhere, if there was a plum job going it would be the one people would want. Nobody really cared about Manchester United, Michael Carrick left holding the baby for literally a week until Ralf Rangnick arrived; he had barely time to pick a team before the German was taking the reins and trying to steer the coach back from the cliff. He in turn was only appointed till the end of the season, and while his tenure was defined by a lot of defeats, there were successes too. Examples of the former included a 4-2 defeat to Leicester City and a 5-0 thumping by Liverpool at home in October followed by two more in December, including one of two losses to their hated rivals Manchester City, 2-0 and then later 4-1, plus another 4-1 defeat by Watford away. Another 4-0 defeat to Liverpool in April and a subsequent 3-1 thrashing by Arsenal saw their season end miserably, with a further 4-0 defeat to Brighton and being beaten 1-0 on the final day by Crystal Palace. Their only notable victories during the season were a 5-1 win against Leeds United on the opening day of the season, a 4-1 victory against Newcastle at home, 3-0 against Spurs away and 3-2 against Arsenal at home, the winning goal being a 70th minute penalty awarded to United. They beat Leeds 4-2 away and Spurs again 3-2, this time at home, but the best way you could describe this season would be sporadic; more defeats and draws than victories, certainly, 22-16 on the side of the former, and United ended the season with 57 goals conceded, their worst since 1978/79, and with the worst points total since 1989/90.

This was the year that heralded the return of the king, so to speak, though it wouldn't be Cantona who would come back to try to salvage United's inconsistent league placings over the last few years and bring back the golden days, but their Portuguese legend. Again, I don't know if it's the only time - probably not - that a player returned to Manchester United having left, but the news was greeted at Old Trafford with the kind of delight perhaps only experienced by the French during World War II as they heard the codeword that signalled the beginning of the D-Day landings, and eventual deliverance from the Nazi occupation. That might be laying it on a bit thick, but there's no doubt that most of the fans saw Ronaldo's return as their chance to scale the heights again and be the team they had been.

The problem is, you can't be a one-man team, and the Portuguese striker could only be in one place at a time. If he didn't get the service, then no matter how fancy the footwork he was not going to score. He did certainly revitalise their fortunes immediately though, scoring on his first return appearance to engineer the defeat of Newcastle, and also their first win against Arsenal since 2018. You certainly couldn't say that the returning hero hadn't done his bit to try to turn their fortunes around, but though Ronaldo scored 24 goals in all competitions, he was one of only two United players to hit double figures, Bruno Fernandez well behind at 10. By season's end United had - possibly for the first time, I don't know - scored exactly as many goals as they had conceded. They ended in sixth place, fury at losing out on another title no doubt compounded by how different the fortunes of their hated rivals were, as City romped to another title win.

In the FA Cup they were beaten 8-7 on penalties following a 1-1 draw after extra time against Middlesbrough, their old bogey team ensuring they never even made it past the fourth round, a single goal from West Ham enough to put them out of the League Cup in the third round, while in Europe they went out in the Round of 16 of the Champions League, again a single goal enough to decide it when Atletico Madrid booted them back to England. Well, technically they were in England, as they were beaten at Old Trafford, but you know what I mean. At the end of a disappointing season, Rangnick departed as agreed (Carrick had left immediately after Rangnick had taken over) and United appointed Erik ten Hag as the man who would become Manchester United's, so far, penultimate manager.

Although far more successful than Rangnick, having managed Ajax and Bayern Munich, sometimes it doesn't matter how good the manager is; if the team is terrible then they will continue to be so no matter who is in charge. You know, it always amazes me that clubs who are doing really badly at home seem to think it's a good idea to waste money and risk injury travelling the world, but that's exactly what United did before the season began. They toured Thailand and Australia, and they weren't the only ones either. Liverpool were there and so were we. I really don't get it. Talk about the Grand Tour. Completely pointless.

Anyway they returned from their tour victorious, though the feeling wouldn't last. 2022 coincided with the FIFA World Cup, and so there was a break in the season, during which those players not selected for international duty headed to Spain for friendlies, both of which they lost, coming back to earth, perhaps, with a bump. They began the season with two defeats, one a humiliating 4-0 loss to Brentford, but won their next four against Liverpool, Southampton, Leicester and Arsenal, and in fairness they had more victories this season than defeats, 23-9 and only 6 draws. Their only other really big defeat was against Liverpool, who absolutely annihilated them 7-0 at home, while their results against their old enemy differed wildly, being beaten 6-3 in October away at the Emirates but taking revenge at home in January when they beat them 2-1. They would finish third this year, 14 points behind the winners, City again. It would also be the last time they would be anywhere near the top.

In the FA Cup Man City would again frustrate their efforts, beating them 2-1 in the final, though they did manage to win the League Cup, their first trophy in five seasons. Precious cold comfort really, considering how their results were going in the Premiership. Their sixth-place finish the previous season had meant they had not qualified for the Champions League, but had to make do with the Europa League, and here again Spanish side Sevilla came back to haunt them. Remember Jose going on about them in 2018? Well in the quarter-finals they beat United 3-0 and knocked them out of Europe. Again. Jose had of course by now moved on to bigger and better things, and could not be reached for comment probably. Their lucky charm had by now departed for foreign shores, but this was the season when Marcus Rashford really came into his own, scoring over twice as many goals as the second-highest in the club that season (Fernandez again) with a total of 30 in all competitions. In comparison to previous managers, it must be said a third-place finish was better for United, but as I said, it would be their last hoorah. After 2023, not too many cheers would ring out around Old Trafford, the Theatre of Dreams turning into a nightmare for both the teams and the fans, and resounding to the unfamiliar sound of boos, a sound that would become all too regular as the year went on.

[jimmy jazz]

Fuck you Grealish you piss-taking little prick. Villa fan my arse.

Villa