Something Completely Different

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Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise, Enterprise NX-01, Enterprise -D, USS Voyager, Discovery, Protostar, Cerritos, Horizon, Dominion, Phoenix, Intrepid, Osiris, Odyssey, Excelsior, Exeter, Batavia,  the space stations Deep Space 9 and Deep Space 12, and every other location on which the franchise is set. Starting with the first ever series, now known as Classic Trek or The Original Series (TOS) my intention is to check out each series in the franchise. Along the way I will compare the series, see how it has changed or impacted on the franchise, and note any important points each series may have contributed to the Star Trek legend. Hopefully, there'll be time for some fun, too.

Feel free to join in, or watch with me as we go along, but equally, feel free just to read and comment, or just to read.

I also intend to tackle any "non-canon" or independent projects - fan series, that kind of thing - though in general I will NOT be looking at the movies, just TV series, or, in some cases, ones only available online. Some may only have one or two episodes, but that's ok. Quantity is not always a good indicator of quality. The fact that there may be only a handful of episodes could be- and most likely will be - down to the fact that in the case of fan-produced efforts, with very few exceptions, there is no funding, so these are labours of love financed by the people who made them, and, well, your personal money does not last forever. So this may have been all they could afford to do without proper backing.

What will the reviews be like? That's easy: there won't be any reviews. I have about thirty or so series to look at, and all I want to do is give a general overview of each, note the setting, characters, ideas behind it and fill you in a little on each series, how it came to be, how it differs from, or sticks to, the main Star Trek universe. This is just so I can see - and so can you, if you have not already - what the newer series are like, as well as introducing anyone who may not have seen the "big six" (TOS/TNG/DS9/VOY/ENT/DISC) to those shows. Not quite a beginner's guide, as such, but a grounding in the whole world originally created by one man with a vision.

If anyone feels I'm "glossing over" some series I should not, well, plead your case and if I'm sufficiently impressed/convinced then maybe I'll take a deeper look at them. For now, the idea is to take the first - or in some cases, only - episode and do a quick runthrough of that, give my general comments and compare it to the other shows, both authorised and unauthorised, that I have at that point seen.

Star Trek has lasted the test of time, running now for almost sixty years in , at the time of writing, ten different - official - series, some of which have only begun. Should a new one begin during this project I will of course include it. Although this can, as the title proclaims, serve as your introduction to the world of Star Trek, it should be of interest also to those who are hardened Trekkers, Trekkies or whatever you're having yourself.


Okay, a few points before we get going. Although I am well-versed in everything up to and including Voyager, I have seen little of Enterprise and only two seasons of Discovery. Anything from Picard onwards I am clueless about, so much of this will be familiar to me but some will be new, so I'll be learning too.

For those who don't know, a list of acronyms I will be using during this project (assume there is a Star Trek prefixed to each of these,  unless otherwise noted):

TOS - The Original Series; the first one, with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, screened way back in the late 1960s, ran to three seasons.
TAS - The Animated Series, speaks for itself. Shown during the mid-seventies. Two seasons.
TNG - The Next Generation, which was the first new series and introduced us to Captain Picard, Riker and Data. Screened in the 1990s over seven seasons.
DS9 - Deep Space 9. First ever Star Trek series to take place on other than a starship, it revolves (literally) around the space station Deep Space 9. Another from the somewhat Trek-saturated 1990s. Introduced the first real story-arc-dependent version of the series. Another seven-season spectacular.
VOY - Voyager. Takes place in the unexplored Delta Quadrant of the galaxy, and was the first to feature a female captain. They got five seasons out of this one. And yes, it was shown during the 90s too.
ENT - Enterprise. (Originally without the prefix, added later)  A sort of prequel, going back 200 years before the events of TOS and featuring the very first starship named Enterprise. Not very familiar with this one. Ran for four seasons. Final series made in the 1990s.
DISC - Discovery. The first major series since Enterprise ended. Shown from 2017, still on the go. In its third season as I write.
PIC - Picard, following the early career of the captain from TNG. Began in 2020. Two seasons so far.
STK - Short Treks, a two-season series of shorter episodes which take place between the events of DISC and PIC.
SNW:  Strange New Worlds. A prequel to TOS but not as far back as ENT, chronicling the adventures of the original captain of the Enterprise, Christopher Pike. Began this year, so at the time of writing, in its first season.
LD: Lower Decks. Animated series which appears to focus on comedy (it says here) and so far has run to two seasons, having started in 2020.
STP: Prodigy, the first completely computer-animated series in the franchise, aimed (again, it says here) at younger audiences. Began last year, currently in its first season.

Apart from these official series there is also a shedload of fan-produced material, some of it almost to Hollywood standards, some of it, well, not. Again, I will be ignoring movies (don't you think I've enough to do?) but that still leaves us with an additional SIXTEEN series, as below:

Note: I have no idea what acronyms relate to these, so I'll make my own up and note them here.

HF: Hidden Frontier: A series with fifty episodes, which ran from 2000 - 2007 and led to four spinoff series. This one takes place just after the Dominion War, which dominates seasons four to seven of Deep Space 9.
EX: Exeter, only two episodes released. Ran from 2002 - 2014. Wait, what? Twelve years to result in only two episodes? Okay, well, this one is set in the TOS era and takes place on, you'll be unsurprised to discover, the USS Exeter. Of course it does.
NV: New Voyages, also set in the TOS era and actually intended to finish the interrupted five-year mission of the original Enterprise. It was so well received that cast members from TOS were signing on to appear in it. Ran from 2004 - 2016 and had ten episodes.
DA: Dark Armada. Set after the events of the third TNG movie, Nemesis, it ran from 2006 - 2016 and had four episodes.
ODY: Odyssey. A spinoff from Hidden Frontiers, which sees the USS Odyssey trapped in the Andromeda galaxy, making it, I believe, the first and only series in the franchise to move outside of our own galaxy. Ran from 2007 - 2011 and had ten episodes.
FA: Farragut takes place in the TOS era on a sister ship to the Enterprise. Anyone want to guess her name? It ran from 2007 - 2016 and had eight episodes, though there may be more as the finale was only released last year.
INT (not to be confused, of course, with ENT): Intrepid, the first fan series to be produced in the UK, this is a Scottish production and although it ran from 2007 - 2018, I'm confused about how many episodes there are, as the producers seem to have also collaborated on episodes of Odyssey and Hidden Frontier, but I guess we'll find out.
OS: Osiris. Seems to have been one of the duds. Ran for one year and four episodes in 2008 but was slated. I'll make my own judgement thanks, as I always do. Set just before the events in Nemesis.
PHX: Phoenix, set after Nemesis, but seems to have only produced one episode in 2010.
CON: Continues, which, as the title suggests, attempts to continue, possibly in the same way as The New Voyages, the mission of the original Enterprise. Ran from 2013 - 2017 and produced eleven episodes.
VAL: Valiant is again set in the TOS universe and between 2014 and 2021 released three episodes.
POT: Potemkin Pictures (no Star Trek prefix), a huge franchise with ten spinoff series and over eighty episodes. 2010 - 2020, based in the TOS era.
TATV: These are the Voyages, a series of five (or possibly six) episodes set in the Enterprise (ENT) timeline. Ran from 2017 - 2019.
BOT: Blood of Tiberius (no Star Trek prefix) envisages a timeline occurring after the events in the TOS episode "Bread and Circuses", with descendants of the crew. Not sure how many episodes, but they're all animated.
DD: Dreadnought Dominion (no Star Trek prefix) also takes places in the TOS era, and ran for 13 episodes from 2015 - 2020.

As if that wasn't enough to be getting on with (it is, it is!) there are also a number of parodies and even some series that have had to distance themselves from the Star Trek brand thanks to draconian "guidelines" by CBS as to what they will allow in fan made productions, and I'll investigate these to see if they're worthy of checking out. But that will be a long time in the future, and possibly, to counter-paraphrase (or something) Star Wars, quite far away. I have plenty of work to do, and it starts today.

FYI I will be going as chronologically as I can, which means that where there are fan series in between even major official ones, such as Enterprise or Discovery, I will do those first, so that everything fits in together along a basic Star Trek timeline, rather than do all the official series and then the fan ones. That of course means we may in fact be emulating Doctor Who and jumping up and down that timeline, as some of the fan series have their programmes set in the TOS universe, some have them in DS9 and so on, but I still reckon this is the best way to see how the franchise as a whole has evolved.

And it all began here, with a "Wagon Train to the stars".

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Series: Star Trek (TOS)
Pilot episode title: "The Man Trap"
Original transmission date: September 8 1966
Total seasons (to date if current): 3
Span: 1966 - 1969
Writer(s): George Clayton Johnson
Director: Marc Daniels
Basic premise: Visiting an outpost planet, the Enterprise crew meet what appears to be Dr. McCoy's ex-girlfriend. But as will become usual, things are not as they seem.
Mood: Dark, depressive
Setting(s): Enterprise, Planet M-113
Themes: Loss, obsession, murder, hunger, survival, racial extinction, shapeshifting
Things I liked: The cute plant in Sulu's quarters, sort of foreshadowing a Tribble; the most action for Janice Rand until her almost-rape scene in "The Enemy Within"; the more mature nature of the episode in general.
Things I didn't like: The awkward flirting between Spock and Uhura (well, all Uhura really)
Timeline: 23th century
Stardate: 1513.1
Vessel: USS Enterprise
Registry: NCC-1701
Class: Constitution
Location: Alpha Quadrant
Mission(s): Standard health check and supply run
Dramatis Personae:
Main:
Captain James T. Kirk
Mr. Spock, Science Officer and S-I-C
Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Ship's Chief Medical Officer
Hikaru Sulu, Helmsman

Supporting:
Dr. Robert Crater, archaeologist
Nancy, his wife
Yeoman Janice Rand

Ancillary:
Crewman Darnell
Crewman Greene
Crewman Sturgeon
Starring (Main Cast): William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy (RIP), DeForest Kelly (RIP), James Doohan (RIP), George Takei, Nichelle Nichols (RIP)
With: Alfred Ryder, Jeanne Bal, Michael Zaslow, Grace Lee Whitney, Bruce Watson, Francine Pyne, Vince Howard, John Arndt

Note: in the following category ratings, in general this refers to the series as a whole, if I know it. If I don't, then it has to refer to the episode I get to watch.

Writing: 8/10
Acting: 7/10
CGI: 5/10
Soundtrack/effects: 5/10
Costumes: 8/10
Probability of watching more: n/a
Balance between animation and live-action: 3/10
Gender balance: 3/10


Synopsis

On the dead planet M-113, archaeologist Dr. Robert Crater and his wife are conducting research. Nancy was once Dr. McCoy's lover, so this mission is a little hard for him ooer, but when he meets her all is not yadda yadda yadda. He sees her as the young woman he fell in love with twelve years ago and remarks that she hasn't aged a day, and she hasn't: not for him. But Captain Kirk sees her as she is, a grey-haired, much older woman. Crewman Darnell, the third in the party, sees her as a woman he knew, also young and pretty. When he goes outside she lures him away. Dr. Crater (they call him doctor and professor, so I'm just going to go with Doctor) seems unhappy to see them when he arrives, saying he wants to be left alone with his wife. Other than a supply of salt, he wants nothing from them. McCoy however is under orders to check on their health and will not be brushed off. There's probably a little jealousy, too, that Crater got his girl, though his professional manner doesn't allow that to show.
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Dr. Crater seems concerned that Kirk and McCoy both see Nancy as quite different in age, but he brushes it off with the air of a man who does not want to broach a subject that may end up landing him with more questions to ask. Then Nancy screams, and they rush to find Darnell dead; Nancy says he ate a poisonous plant. Back on the ship however Spock and McCoy agree that, after an examination of Darnell, he was not poisoned. So why did Nancy say he was? And what is her weird obsession with salt? McCoy can't even understand what killed the crewman. After a further examination, he finds that Darnell has no salt in his body, but he had no idea how he could have lost it.

They beam back down to the planet, but again Crater is unhelpful when they demand to know why he needs all the salt he has requested. Meanwhile, two more crewmen have been killed, and Nancy now seems to take the form of Greene and when they again beam up to the ship she goes with them. She wanders the ship but is unable to find any salt, or manage to take any victims (it has now become obvious she is some sort of shapeshifting alien, who needs salt to survive, and that she is responsible for the deaths of the crewmen down on the planet) until she comes across McCoy's quarters. Meanwhile a dead crewman (yes, another one) is found in the corridors, and Nancy takes McCoy's form while he sleeps under her power.

Kirk and Spock return to the planet, where Crater has gone over the edge, threatening them with a weapon. They find the body of Crewman Greene, so Kirk now knows that whatever beamed up with them was not him, and raises an alert on the Enterprise. They  get the jump on Crater, and while stunned he reveals that Nancy is not Nancy, but an alien shapeshifter. Taken to the ship, he recognises the creature in McCoy but says nothing, as together they try to plead the alien's case, Crater pointing out that it is the last of its kind, that it is not dangerous (a claim that can be readily refuted as the bodycount mounts!) and that it needs salt, but also love. Kirk is not impressed with his comparing it to the buffalo on Earth, and Crater refuses to help.
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As a result, the creature ends up killing him. It would have killed Spock too, but his blood is based on copper, and the salt content is not to its taste. It returns to McCoy and rouses him, turning back into Nancy. When Kirk and Spock come for it, he stands in their way. Kirk offers the creature salt, and while he and McCoy tussle the creature grabs Kirk and entrances him, preparing to kill him by extracting all the salt from his body. Spock enters and growls at McCoy to kill it, or his captain will die. Torn by indecision, he waits, as Spock wades in but has his arse kicked by the creature. He snaps "Could Nancy do that, Doctor?" and as the creature again fastens onto Kirk, McCoy sees it for what it is, and fires. The creature, wounded,  briefly reverts to Nancy but McCoy knows it now for what it is, and finishes it off.

Comments

Although of course it worked, I feel the producers took a chance here, a real one. This opinion is, I'm not surprised to find, shared by almost everyone involved with the show. As Star Trek was to become known for its easy, friendly, almost family atmosphere between the crew, this episode, as a basic pilot, has none of that. It's very dour, very serious, and everyone is intent on their job. There's no ribbing between the three main characters - very much a feature of the show as it progressed, and possibly one of the main reasons for its success and longevity - there's little in the way of friendship, though there is some sympathy for McCoy, though pretty much only from Kirk. Spock remains aloof, as above, and makes no comment. Even when the message comes back that one of the landing party has died, he merely acknowledges it, though he has no way of knowing this is neither the captain nor the doctor. Uhura berates him on his lack of feeling, and perhaps it was decided he was too cold?

It's very much a product of the fifties and sixties science fiction movies of its day, with a kind of monster-of-the-week to be tracked down, and while there is a certain humanity towards the creature - only expressed, it must be said, by Crater, who has something to gain, and the creature itself while in the form of McCoy - they still kill it in the end. Look, for a comparison, at the Horta in "Devil in the Dark". The difference in the way the crew treat this creature is staggering, and remember, both have been killing humans, but there is a better understanding, mostly due to Spock's mind melding with the creature, so it's a pity they didn't use that here. But at this point the mind meld was perhaps not even thought of, as otherwise they could have got the information they wanted from Crater that way, instead of using the old CIA standard, truth drugs.

It would also be a feature of TOS that there would be, generally, few "sad" or "dark" endings, to the effect that a large percentage of the episodes would end up with Kirk and crew laughing at some joke, thereby leaving the viewer with the indelible impression of a group of friends, or even a family, jaunting around the galaxy and having fun. This definitely does not convey that kind of feeling. So all in all, a poor one to begin with. The cardinal rule of writing is hook them in the first sentence or few sentences, but once you've done that you have to retain that attention, and ideally give them a happy, or at least satisfactory ending. To see one of the crew have to kill a representation of the woman he had loved and probably be haunted about it ever afterwards, is not what you'd call a happy ending. So I think it was a bad choice to showcase the series, but as time and history shows, they overcame any initial doubts and got enough of the audience's attention to make them come back the next week, and the week after that, and the week after that. Soon, the new series was a phenomenon, and a legend was well on its way to being born.

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Series: Star Trek: The Animated Series
Season: 1
Episode: 1
Episode title: "Beyond the Farthest Star"
Original transmission date: September 8 1973
Total seasons (to date if current): 2
Span: 1973 - 1974
Writer(s): Samuel A. Peeples
Director: Hal Sutherland
Basic premise: The Enterprise gets pulled into the gravity of a dead star, and encounters a deadly ancient alien.
Setting(s): The Enterprise, the alien ship
Themes: Loneliness, power, abandonment, coercion, exploration
Timeline: 23rd century
Stardate: 5221.3
Vessel: USS Enterprise
Class: Constitution
Registry: NCC-1701
Location: Alpha Quadrant
Mission(s): Stellar cartography
Dramatis Personae:
Main:
Captain James T. Kirk
Mr. Spock, Science Officer and S-I-C
Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Ship's Chief Medical Officer
Hikaru Sulu, Helmsman
Montgomery "Scotty" Scott, Chief Engineer
Lieutenant Uhura, Communications Officer
Alien helmsman
Supporting:
Ancillary:
Transporter operative Kyle
Nurse Christine Chapel
Redshirts
Starring: (The voices of) (Main Cast):[/b] William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy (RIP), DeForest Kelly (RIP), James Doohan (RIP), George Takei, Nichelle Nichols (RIP), Majel Barret (Roddenberry) (RIP)
Guest Star(s):

Synopsis

In orbit around a dead star which appears to have what Mr. Spock describes as "hyper-gravity", the Enterprise encounters a much larger alien ship drifting in the planet's orbit. It appears to be dead, but there is some sort of signal coming from it, so they leave it alone and head on home. Yeah right. Spock's analysis of the strange ship dates it to about 300 million years ago. Kirk organises a boarding party where the idea quickly emerges that the ship is a living entity. Or was, once. There's also evidence that seems to suggest the crew destroyed the ship themselves. Uhura tells them the signal the ship was sending stopped once they beamed aboard.

Scotty reasons that the entire ship was set up to receive and store energy, and when they move into a sort of honeycomb chamber they find both that communication with the Enterprise has been lost and that their phasers do not work. Outside, something appears to be trying to get in, and they find some sort of communication that Kirk reckons could be the ship's log. Or a warning. Spock tries to translate it, and finds that it is indeed a warning, a warning about the lifeform which is now onboard the ship. Rather than allow it access to their civilisation, the crew have decided to let the ship be drawn into the orbit of the dead star in order to destroy it. They have given their lives to protect their race.

Things start to explode, and the party makes a quick exit, beaming back to the ship. Unfortunately there's a stowaway, and the alien creature in the form of a green mist seeps into the vents, into the computer systems and is gone. It then takes control of the ship (well, duh) and turns the phaser banks on the alien ship, destroying it. Then it starts shutting down life support, which is never good. It now communicates with them, confirming Kirk's hypothesis that it is caught in the dense gravity of the dead star and needs a starship to help it break free. Now that it has taken control of the Enterprise, that's exactly what it intends to do.

Spock tells Kirk that the alien is pure energy, but is capable of symbiotic relationships and has entered one with the ship, taking it over, in effect becoming the Enterprise. It orders Kirk to take the ship to the heart of the galaxy, where it can reproduce and take over all ships there, but Kirk has an idea. To avoid using the computers and alerting the alien, Kirk has his own walking computer do the calculations for a sling-shot manoeuvre to get them out of the planet's orbit; Spock can do that standing on his head. But as that would be far too undignified for a Vulcan, he remains on his feet and works out the maths. As they dive towards the planet, the alien, fearing that they too are about to destroy their ship, flees, and Kirk has Sulu cut in the warp drive and they sling-shot the fuck out of there! Score!

As a downbeat postscript, the alien whines and cries about being left behind as they warp off, saying it is so lonely. Aw. Fuck it.


The Resolution

Meh, general Trek stuff. Basically a game of chicken that the alien loses. All right I suppose.


Questions, and Sometimes, Answers

I know the animation here is early and crude by today's standards, but I always wondered what the deal was with the idea that whenever one of the characters ran they had to punch the air in front of them? Pretty funny really.

Personal Notes

It's interesting when you see how much more can be done with a show like this when it can just be animated. Some of the sequences, especially inside the alien craft, while they could easily be replicated today, would have been way out of the reach of the effects around at the time of the original Star Trek. It's good to see they can push the envelope, even adding in a strange alien crewmember who takes the place of Chekov beside Sulu at the helm (but who never talks), and overall it's a pretty faithful kind of continuation of the original series.

Interestingly, perhaps inevitably, all Star Trek series begin with a two-hour (sometimes broken into two parts) premiere episode, and so it is with the first to pick up the baton after Kirk and Co had warped off into  hypergalactic retirement, Star Trek: The Next Generation. This is often tricky, as if you make it too boring (as in "The Cage") you can damage your prospects of being picked up by the network. But while "Encounter at Farpoint" is far from the best TNG episode, even in season one, there was never a danger of it not being picked up, as it was to be the triumphant return of the franchise after over twenty-five years in the wilderness, and the audience was certainly there for it. More, there were two distinct audience demographics: those who had grown up on the original and were either salivating at the prospect of its return (or waiting to tear it apart with savage commentary and criticism; didn't matter, they still had to watch it first) and those who either had never seen it and were interested, or else were just science-fiction fans. There wasn't much of sci-fi on the TV at that time, and so anything even vaguely space related was welcome. Plus TNG was coming in on the cusp of a new sci-fi revival, with films like Star Wars, Alien, ET and Blade Runner, to say nothing of four Trek movies whetting the appetites of sci-fi enthusiasts young and old. It was, in short, a great time for the Return of the King.
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But any show that has reached such iconic, almost legendary status is going to be hard to replicate, and the inevitable comparisons would be made, so how to make this not simply a continuation of the original series, but a quantum leap forward? Well, plenty of ways. First of all, while maintaining the accepted family atmosphere aboard ship, the "power trio" idea had to be dispensed with. The original Star Trek had mostly focussed on Kirk, Spock and McCoy, with occasional contributions from the likes of Scotty, Uhura or Sulu, and later Chekov, but I don't think there's one episode in the entire three-season run that did not feature all three of the main characters. This put the others at a disadvantage, relegating them to the position almost of bit players, guest stars even. An episode would survive the absence of Sulu or Scotty, and much of the time Uhura was just a glorified telephone operator, but the three main men always had to be in the camera's crosshairs.

TNG sought to do away with that to an extent. While it's true that the captain was, and always would be, the centre of any action, this new series "farmed out" or even shared out the adventure. It would not be unheard of for Doctor Crusher, Geordi or Worf to have their own episode, and even the "kid" on board, Wesley, would feature prominently in later ones. Relationships would be explored and developed, and to a much greater degree than had been in the original series, where little more than a hint that Nurse Chapel was in love with Spock was allowed, or references were made to Kirk's many ex-girlfriends and conquests. Here, everyone was related in one way or another. Geordi and Data would become fast friends. Riker and Troi had past history they were still trying to get past, and even the captain had a romantic interest in the doctor, although it would be some time indeed before he would admit it, more before he would act on it.

The crew was larger, the ship more powerful and majestic, and the storylines would of course be more far-reaching, deep and intelligent, and there would be, by and large, little of the easy humour for which Star Trek had become known. Picard was a hard man, an authoritarian who seldom smiled, disliked and distrusted children, and seemed to have few hobbies other than reading. He was a solitary man, alone among over a thousand souls, with responsibility for their safety, and though his crew were loyal to him and would follow him into Hell, at first he does come across rather a little like Christopher Pike on his one and only voyage aboard the USS Enterprise.

Series: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Season: 1
Episode: 1 and 2
Episode title: "Encounter at Farpoint"
Original transmission date:  September 28 1987
Total seasons (to date if current): 7
Span: 1987 - 1993
Writer(s): D.C. Fontana, Gene Roddenberry
Director: Corey Allen
Basic premise: On its maiden voyage, the new USS Enterprise encounters a strange, omnipotent alien who sets them the task of proving humanity is not still savage, using their mission to explore the mystery of Farpoint Station as the yardstick by which he will judge them, and all humanity.
Setting(s): Enterprise, Farpoint Station,
Themes: Imprisonment, impotence, slavery, animal cruelty, exploration, mystery
Things I liked: Oh what's not to like? New Star Trek, at the time? Bring it on!
Things I didn't like: Picard's stiffness, surrender in episode one...
Timeline: 24th century
Stardate:
Vessel: USS Enterprise
Class: Galaxy
Registry: NCC-1701-D
Location: Alpha Quadrant
Mission(s): To visit Farpoint Station and negotiate for the technology that has allowed the station to be built so quickly
Dramatis Personae:
Main:
(Main Crew) Captain Jean-Luc Picard
First Officer William T. Riker
Lieutenant Data, an android
Commander Geordi LaForge, Helmsman
Commander Worf, Tactical Officer
Dr. Beverly Crusher, CMO
Wesley Crusher, her son
Deanna Troi, Ship's Counsellor, a half-Betazoid alien/human hybrid
Lieutenant Tasha Yar, Security Chief
Miles O'Brien, Helmsman
Supporting:
Q, an omnipotent, godlike alien
Groppler Zorn, administrator of Farpoint Station
Ancillary:
Admiral Leonard James "Bones" McCoy (cameo)
Starring: Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, Gates McFadden, Levar Burton, Will Wheaton, Michael Dorn, Colm Meany, Denise Crosby, Marina Sirtis
With: John de Lancie, Michael Bell

Guest Star(s): DeForest Kelly

Synopsis

On the way to Deneb IV, the new USS Enterprise, under the command of Captain Jean-Luc Picard, is heading towards its first mission. A starbase has been built there, called Farpoint Station, and the Federation wish to know how it was built so quickly and if more can be built. Picard is yet awaiting the arrival of his ship's doctor and first officer, who are to meet them at the station. En route though they are suddenly accosted by a malevolent intelligence which manifests upon the ship's bridge, calling itself "The Q". It accuses the human race of being a "dangerous, savage child race" and directs Picard and his crew to return to their home planet. Picard of course refuses, loudly proclaiming the advances humanity has made, and the creature, seemingly intrigued by the captain's ideas of testing them, retires, promising to return.

The Q has however blocked the path of the Enterprise with a weblike net, which Picard now attempts to break away from. He prepares the ship for "saucer separation", a procedure which will detach the main bridge in the flat, disc-like section of the top of the ship from the main body. As they accelerate away from the net it follows them, and they find it impossible to outrun. Picard orders the saucer separation, and despite his chagrin, Worf is ordered to take command of the saucer section, into which all the women and children have been herded. The remainder of the ship, now known as "the battle bridge" turns to take on the "hostile" as it gains on them. It is however a futile action, and Picard reluctantly orders their surrender.
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Once he does, they all find themselves in a courtroom, where the judge is none other than the intelligence known as The Q. Troi confirms that, though the scene they are in is out of the late twenty-first century, and cannot be real, must be an illusion, it is real. The Q again accuses the crew of being savage and dangerous, and tricks them into admitting their guilt under duress. Outmanoeuvred, Picard puts forward a challenge: let the Q test him and his crew, let them represent what mankind has become, and let him see if they have in fact evolved beyond what the powerful alien accuses them of. The Q is satisfied, even happy with the outcome, and tells Picard that solving the mystery of Farpoint Station will serve as his litmus test. The court dissolves, and Picard and his crew are back aboard their vessel.

Meanwhile, at Farpoint Station, Commander William Riker awaits the arrival of the Enterprise and visits the man in command of the station, an alien named Zorn. He expresses amazement that the station could have been built so quickly, and so perfectly suited to the needs of the Federation. Zorn is evasive, refusing to answer questions, but when Riker has left he seems annoyed and berates something above him, almost as if he is talking to the ceiling. He talks of "arousing their suspicion", and it's clear that something here does not meet the eye. Riker meets up with the ship's doctor, Beverley Crusher, who is also awaiting the arrival of the ship. He tells her and her son, Wesley, that he has noticed odd things about this station. Just now, he had wanted an apple and though there was none in the bowl proffered him by Zorn, a moment later there was another bowl which he could swear had not been there, and yes, it had apples in it. Similarly, Crusher looks at some cloth and notes it would be nice if there were a gold pattern on it, and suddenly there is. She of course thinks he's seeing conspiracies where none exist, and looking for ways to impress his new captain, but he is sure it's more than just an overactive imagination.
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Riker is somewhat surprised to learn that Crusher is on first-name terms with the new captain, but Wesley advises him that it was Picard who brought the body of his father home, when he fell in an away mission, some years ago. Geordi LaForge, navigator aboard the ship and also awaiting its arrival so that he can take his position, reports to Riker that the ship has reached orbit but is missing the saucer section. Picard has ordered Riker to beam aboard immediately, as he does. Almost right away he is shown footage of what has transpired with The Q, and then Picard receives news that the saucer section is ready to reunite with the main ship. Seeing this as an early test of his first officer's competence and his ability to work under pressure, the captain orders Riker to conduct the reintegration of the ship, manually, a task he carries out perfectly. Picard grudgingly congratulates him on his prowess, though calls it "a fairly routine manoeuvre." He does however take issue with his new second-in-command's determination to second-guess the captain when he deems he is putting himself in unnecessary danger.

Here though the mask slips a little and Picard allows himself a moment of weakness, as he admits he is not good with children, and asks, well orders I suppose, Riker to help him in that area. LaForge shows Crusher his visor, a computer implant that allows him to see, even though he is blind. Usage of the implant does cause him pain, but he suffers it in order to be able to see, even if he does not see the same way we do: his visor detects electromagnetic waves, colour spectrums etc. Riker is looking for Data, but Worf tells him that the android is on "special assignment", ferrying a special guest, an admiral, to the Enterprise by shuttlecraft. This turns out to be McCoy, in what's a pretty shamefully self-indulgent cameo that last about a minute. As they prepare to leave Farpoint, The Q appears again on the viewscreen, advising them that if they do not solve the problem in twenty-four hours they risk summary judgement against them.
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Riker is reintroduced to Deanna Troi, the Ship's Counsellor, but Picard is unaware they are ex-lovers. Troi is half Betazoid and therefore telepathic, and she and Riker share an uncomfortable, though private moment when she speaks to his mind only. They keep their relationship from the captain, admitting only that they know each other. All three beam down to the station and meet with Zorn, who is less than happy at Deanna's presence, she being a telepath. He is also annoyed at Picard's attempts to get him to agree to build other starbases for them, or to trade for the materials and knowledge that allowed them to build Farpoint. He makes it clear he is interested in entertaining neither suggestion, and just wants to sell the rights to use this station alone. While there, Troi experiences powerful emotions --- negative, painful ones, ones of loss and despair, but she can't say from where these feelings are emanating. As the exchanges get more heated, and all their questions continue to be evaded, the trio leave a fuming Zorn, unsure of what is going on.

Riker gets his first taste of the brand new Holodeck, a holographic projection room on the ship which can be programmed for any environment, scene or fantasy. He is looking for Data and finds him here, as well as Wesley Crusher. Data shows how superhumanly strong he is when he lifts Wesley with one hand when the kid falls into a holographically-created, but very real and very wet, stream. Riker also finds out, to his amusement, that the one thing Data wishes is to be human. He has not the software to accomplish this, but is trying to add to his programme by trying things like whistling, and hopes that by better studying humans and coming to understand them, he may one day emulate them. In the tunnel below Farpoint Station, Geordi is unable to identify the material the walls are constructed from, and Deanna receives even harsher images and emotions, making her sink to her knees in despair.

A strange alien vessel arrives and begins to attack the planet, firing unknown weapons down at the city below. It does however appear to be avoiding hitting the station itself. It refuses to respond to hails, and Zorn professes to know nothing about it, though Picard is loath to believe him. He knows, all right: it's in his voice. He's hiding something, and the arrival of the alien vessel has thrown him into almost a panic. Picard orders Riker, still on the planet, to bring him to the Enterprise where they will get what information he has out of him. However, before they can do so someone else teleports him away. Troi begins to sense a new emotion: satisfaction, but it is not from the same source. The Q reappears, gloating over Picard's inability to solve the conundrum, goading him that he has not the brains to figure it out. Q, tiring of their efforts and looking to be amused, gives them a clue: beam over to the alien vessel, he advises them, and though Picard is against it Riker volunteers to go, which impresses the seemingly-omnipotent alien.

Picard goes to Crusher, to apologise for his stiff and overly formal welcome to her: she is an old friend, or at least the wife of an old friend, and he should have been more forthcoming. He tells her that serving aboard the Enterprise may be hard for her, being constantly reminded of her husband through him, and suggests a transfer, which he will approve, but she turns him down, saying she is where she needs and wants to be. In fact, she tells him, she requested the post. On the alien vessel, Troi Data and Riker find Zorn held captive and in pain, while the empath feels anger, revenge, satisfaction from a much closer source than before.

As they rescue Zorn, Q reappears on the bridge, sneering at Picard's efforts to unravel the mystery, but when the away team returns, sent back by the alien vessel, he begins to see it. The vessel is not a ship but a living being, and it is trying to help --- rescue --- one of its own kind which has been trapped on the planet surface below. Creatures who can convert energy into matter, the second alien was pressed into service by Zorn and his people, forced to assume the shape of Farpoint Station, and allowed only enough energy to survive but not to break free. Picard has the Enterprise beam energy down to it, allowing it to break free and join its mate. Farpoint Station is no more, the duplicity has been uncovered, Q is disappointed that the humans solved the puzzle and vanishes in a huff. Picard leans forward and declares "Let's see what's out there!"


Parallels
There's a very distinct similarity here in what Q is doing to what Squire Trelayne made Kirk undergo in "The Squire of Gothos." He, too, was a judge and accused Kirk, whom he then hunted.

There are also slightly less similar, but still alike, parallels to be drawn with "Devil n the dark", in which the killer of miners on a planet is found to be a creature that can burrow through solid rock, and which is killing in revenge for the destruction of its eggs, cracked when the miners broke into a shaft which was in fact the creature's nursery.

It wasn't meant to be this way!
Sometimes ideas were barely pencilled in and fleshed out later, so that things changed over the course of the series, many of them taking on totally different aspects and meanings than they were originally intended to have.

Q, presented here as a dark, evil, all-powerful enemy, would soon become the butt of jokes, a nuisance, an annoyance and at one point, an unwilling member of the crew. He would become a source of comic relief, but one thing that would always be true was that, like Mister Burns in any episode of The Simpsons, you could be guaranteed a good story if he was in it.

Data, the android officer, quickly loses his stilted syntax, where he prefaces each statement with a qualifier, such as "Inqury: blah blah" or "Supposition: blah bah." This would probably have got old very quickly, and was in fact dispensed with by the end of this episode.

The Ferengi are here mentioned only, and painted as a deeply unlikeable race who seem quite savage. When we actually meet them, in "The last outpost", for the first time, and later, in "The battle", this image will be kept up to an extent. But fairly quickly it becomes obvious that the Ferengi, small with huge ears and an abiding passion for wealth and its creation, and retention, are more comic relief than anything. In fact, of all the many characters and races throughout all four series and incarnations of the programme, none would come to be more loved and give us more amusement than the Ferengi, especially when we get to Deep Space 9 and meet Quark. But that's for the next article. For now, all I can say is that whatever they were meant to start out as, the Ferengi became something totally different, a real and true example perhaps of a character or type taking over its own destiny, and writing itself as it wanted to be written.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

There were of course many changes from the original series, the first and most evident in the opening titles. Whereas Kirk spoke of a "five year mission" - no doubt in the hopes that the series would get five seasons, no such luck! - Picard talks of an "ongoing mission". Ironic really, as TNG ended up running for seven full seasons, so he could theoretically have said "her seven year mission". Also, the ship is not anthropomorphised, neither in the credits nor in the show. It is always "it" or "the ship", never "she", that I can remember. Speaking of gender neutrality, the original voiceover had declared that the mission was "to boldly go where no man has gone before", but now it was "to boldly go where no-one has gone before", so they kept the tagline but updated it for the more PC 1980s. Mind you, given Picard's lack of hair, it could have been rather unkindly changed to "To baldly go..." ;)

The ship has gone from being a Constitution-class vessel with about 400 crew to having a complement of over a thousand and being upgraded to "Galaxy"-class. It's still powered, however, by the humble dilithium crystals that provided engine power to NCC-1701, and indeed, speaking of that, it retains the construction number but with an extra letter, so that it is now NCC-1701D. Some things are not open to that much change.

Whereas the original Enterprise was essentially a warship, an exploratory but primarily military vessel, with only the crew aboard essential to its operation, the new incarnation is more of a floating city, or at least floating apartment block, with families living there, shops and schools and recreational facilities all provided. Plus of course the Holodeck, of which more later. The primary goal of NCC-1701D is not combat, but exploration, and though it's armed as well as any warship in the fleet --- and is in fact the flagship --- Picard tries to rely more on diplomacy than brute strength in any negotiation. Of course, if that fails then the ship is more than able to hold its own.

Expanding on the multi-cultural idea central to the franchise, NCC-1701D has as part of its crew not only an android and a telepath, but one of the traditional enemies of the Federation, a Klingon, though we will find later on that the age-old "cold war" that had been raging between the two races over the run of TOS has come to an end, and they are now uneasy allies.

Oh, those uniforms! Seems for the Counsellor at any rate, the idea that drove the Original Series was still in vogue, and Deanna wears a quite short minidress, which quickly disappeared to be replaced by, um, a tight catsuit affair? Eventually her clothing would become more flattering and respectable, and her hair, down here but which will be for much of the first season stuck up in a very unbecoming bun, would soon flow loosely about her shoulders, allowing her to reveal the sexy woman who hid behind the sometimes cold mask of the half-Betazoid Counsellor.

The captain, too, is far from the genial, easy manner of James Kirk. Here, he's a tough authoritarian, a disciplinarian, a stickler for the rules. Slow to smile or see a joke, keeping himself aloof and unapproachable, he's almost a throwback in personality to Captain Pike. The difference here, and it's an important one, is that he is surrounded by interesting, likeable characters who, while they will certainly include the captain in their circle if and when he requires or demands it, are perfectly capable of socialising with each other and building their own strong bonds and relationships among one another. So although the captain might seem to be cold and unforgiving, his crew are quite the opposite, and though he will be the central figure in the series, there will be episodes which will take place around or even without him, and they will generally not suffer from his being the figure in the frame.

This is also the first time Star Trek will feature actors other than American ones (Sulu and Chekov excepted): the man in charge is English, something of a cosmic shift for US science-fiction, and portrayed as being of French descent, another first.

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Series: Star Trek: Deep Space 9
Season: 1
Episode: 1 and 2
Episode title: "Emissary"
Original transmission date: January 4 1993
Total seasons (to date if current): 7
Span: 1993 - 1999
Writer(s): Rick Berman, Michael Piller
Director: David Carson
Basic premise: Benjamin Sisko is reassigned to the Federation space station Deep Space 9, and quickly becomes entangled in politics and power as the station suddenly becomes the most important in the quadrant when a stable wormhole is discovered.
Setting(s): Battle of Wolf 359, Deep Space 9, Starfleet Command on Earth, The wormhole (entailing various dream/vision sequences including a beach, a baseball pitch and others)
Themes: Faith, war, reconciliation, travel, destiny, acceptance
Things I liked: The new idea (shut up, Babylon 5 fans including me!) of using a space station, the Cardassians, the idea of a black man in charge, Wolf 359, Odo, lots of things.
Things I didn't like: Too much religion; I never enjoyed the religious aspect of this show, and though I'll give it its due, for me it made the storylines overly intricate, though of course it does play a huge part in the unfolding story arc later. I didn't like Kira at first. That's a lie. I never liked Kira, right to the end. The scene in the wormhole/celestial temple is stretched out too far, and did they have to bring bloody baseball into it?
Timeline: 24th century
Stardate: ?
Vessel: None; space station Deep Space 9
Class: n/a
Location: Alpha Quadrant
Mission(s): n/a
Dramatis Personae:
Main:
Commander Benjamin Sisko
Major Kira Nerys, a Bajoran ex-freedom fighter/rebel
Chief Engineer Miles O'Brien
Lieutenant Jadzia Dax, a trill
Doctor Julian Bashir, CMO
Quark, Ferengi owner of a bar and casino
Odo, Head of security, some sort of shapeshifting alien
Supporting:
Kai Opaka, supreme Bajoran spiritual leader
Ancillary:
Admiral Jean-Luc Picard
Locutus of Borg
Gul Dukat
Rom, Quark's brother
Nog, Rom's son
Jennifer Sisko, the commander's late wife
Starring: (Main cast) Avery Brooks, Nana Visitor, Colm Meany, Siddig el Fadil, Terry Farrell, Armin Shimerman, Rene Auberjonois, Cirroc Lofton
With: Camille Saviola, Aron Eisenberg, Max Grodenchik, Marc Alaimo, J.G. Hertzler, Majel Barret (Roddenberry) (RIP)
Guest Star(s):
Patrick Stewart

Synopsis

Beginning as it does with the battle at Wolf 359, if you have not already seen TNG's "The Best of Both Worlds" before embarking on your adventure into this series, it is highly recommended, otherwise the opening scene will confound you. Assuming you're conversant with those episodes though (if not, read no further: you have been warned), we see the battle being directed against the Federation by Locutus of Borg, none other than Captain Jean-Luc Picard in his Borg persona. Starfleet is losing the battle, and will suffer heavy losses before retreating against the marauding invaders, making this a watershed moment in Trek history. Never before has such a massive fleet been assembled, the very cream of Starfleet, to be brushed aside like insects as the Borg carve their way through the galaxy towards Earth.

The USS Saratoga is just one of the ships trying to stem the advance of the Borg, but they are as ineffectual as any of the others, and the ship takes a direct hit. Benjamin Sisko, serving aboard the ship, sees his wife, Jennifer, dead, pinned beneath a metal stanchion as the ship goes up in flames and he is forced to leave her there, taking his young son Jake as they escape, moments before the ship tears itself apart. Three years later, he is given command of the Federation space station, Deep Space Nine, which is in orbit around a planet called Bajor. This planet has just emerged from a long war of attrition with the Cardassian Empire, and they have requested a Federation presence in the sector, to discourage their old enemy from returning. The station the Federation are to take control of is an old Cardassian outpost known as Terak Nor, but Starfleet have renamed it.

Joining Sisko there is his new chief of operations, Miles O'Brien, whom we met in TNG previously. As it is the Enterprise that brings him and the station's doctor, Julian Bashir, to the station, it's not that surprising that we see a guest cameo for Patrick Stewart as Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Sisko however is in no mood to be friendly: this is not a posting he requested and truth to tell, he is thinking of resigning his commission. He has a young son to bring up now, on his own, and a space station does not seem the best of places for him to grow up. He meets his new attache, Major Kira Nerys, who is less than overjoyed to see him. She is a Bajoran, fought against the Cardassians and is not happy to see the Federation, as she sees it, taking the place of the old oppressor. He also meets his chief of security, an alien called Odo, who can shift his shape into any form he wishes, and treats Sisko (and everyone really, bar Kira) with a sort of gruff tolerance. He was also chief of security when the Cardassians occupied this station, a fact that will not sit well with many now that the enemy has been overthrown.

After the nephew of Quark, the Ferengi who was running the local casino and bar but is now preparing to leave in the aftermath of the destruction wrought by the defeated, departing Cardassians, is caught stealing, Sisko offers him a choice. He will release the boy if Quark stays and reopens the casino. He wants someone to make a stand, put down roots and rebuild. Quark, with a tacit assurance of little or no interference from Starfleet in his gaming tables, grudgingly agrees. Odo begins to have a new respect for Sisko. Kira explains that she believes the provisional government set up to rule in the wake of the fall of the Cardassian occupation will itself fail, as factions develop and old scores are reignited. She says the only one who can reunite the planet is the spiritual leader, Kai Opaca, but she has secluded herself away. Just then, the vedek Sisko spoke to soon after his arrival advises him "it is time" and he goes to meet Opaca, who has sent for him. She shows him what she calls "a Tear of the Prophets", a celestial orb of which she says there are nine, which appeared "mysteriously in the sky over the last ten thousand years." She opens the casing and a blinding light suffuses him, and he is shown a most amazing vision.

He sees his future wife, Jennifer, now dead three years, as she was when he first met her. The vision does not last long, and when it is over Opaca tells him he has been chosen by the Prophets, her people's gods, to find the Celestial Temple before the Cardassians can. He has no idea what this temple is, but she tells him she cannot reunite her people until the Prophets have been warned. His pah --- the lifeforce or spiritual energy the Bajorans believe is in all beings --- is strong, and has helped her come to this conclusion. A little nonplussed, Sisko is nevertheless delighted later that night to see the promenade come alive as Quark keeps his end of the bargain and reopens the bar. The next day he greets his medical officer and his new science officer, the latter of whom is an old friend of his. Dax is a Trill, a symbiotic lifeform introduced in TNG which bonds to a host body and can live many hundreds of years. The relationship is totally benign, and neither is in control of the other, but when Sisko knew Dax he was in an old man named Curzon. Now he is in a young, pretty female called Jadzia, and Sisko is amused, still calling him "old man" despite the obvious curves.
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The MO, Julian Bashir, is smitten with Jadzia, even though he knows about the Trill inside her, and is like a blushing schoolboy around her, which again affords Sisko and Dax much amusement. Sisko is less amused however when the former Cardassian Prefect of Bajor, and the man in whose office he is now sitting, drops by. Gul Dukat makes it plain that he is not happy to have been ousted, and tries to wring information from the commander about the orb he has seen, but Sisko feigns ignorance. A veiled threat that the station is "far from the protection of the Federation, with poor defences" does nothing to settle Sisko's mood of foreboding, and the two men take an instant dislike to each other, an air of mutual distrust and suspicion descending almost immediately.

Dax has been researching possible locations for this so-called "Celestial Temple", and they now have an area they need to check out, a locus for all the sightings and navigational errors that lead them to believe this may be the place they're looking for. With Odo managing to disable the Cardassian ship berthed at the station they are free to launch unchallenged, and head off in one of the small "Runabout"-class shuttles to explore. What they find, against all logic, is the first stable wormhole known to exist, and more, within that wormhole, a planet! Or an asteroid. Both see something different when, again against all logic, they find they land on ... something. Sisko sees a desolate, windswept, storm-lashed planetoid, while Dax see a vision of a beautiful garden; trees, flowers, rolling hills, blues sky and sun. Then they both see it: an orb, floating in the air. It shoots energy beams at them, and Dax is transported back to the station. When she relates what has happened, Major Kira realises the enormous strategic importance of the wormhole and comes to perhaps an odd decision: Deep Space Nine must be moved, somehow, to the mouth of the new wormhole, so that the Bajorans (and the Federation) can lay claim to it before the Cardassians do.
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Sisko however remains behind and seems to have another vision, in which he contacts the aliens inside the wormhole, and finds that they have no conception whatever of time. For them, there is no "now", "later", "soon", no "past" and no "future": everything happens to them at the same moment. They test him, calling him adversarial, violent (sound familiar?) but he wins them over and they agree to anoint him as their emissary. They also bring him face-to-face with his own guilt and pain, and allow him to say goodbye properly to Jennifer. Meanwhile, Gul Dukat has not been idle in wake of the appearance of the wormhole and sets course for it, despite the warnings of Kira and Odo. Just as his ship enters it it collapses, and soon three Cardassian warships arrive in search of Dukat. Dismissing this story of a wormhole they can neither see nor detect, they surround the station, believing that the Bajorans have somehow destroyed their ship. They demand the total surrender of the space station, but Kira and O'Brien manage to make it look as if they are well armed and would not be an easy target. Nevertheless, mindful of the approach of the Enterprise, less than a day away, Jasad orders the attack.

As the station begins to sustain heavy damage, and after holding out as long as she can Kira prepares to surrender, the wormhole suddenly reappears. Jasad is dumbfounded, the moreso as the Rio Grande comes through, towing Dukat's stricken ship! The attack is of course broken off and Sisko returns to Deep Space Nine. With the wormhole now a major attraction, both for commerce, tourists and scientific research, to say nothing of the strategic importance it has suddenly acquired in a military sense, Bajor is on the map in a way it never was before. The wormhole aliens, or Prophets as the Bajorans refer to them, have agreed to allow safe access for all through the wormhole, affording a quick and easy passage to the Gamma Quadrant, seventy thousand light-years away. His initial doubts about the post now vanished, and knowing he is where he is supposed to be, Sisko asks Picard to rescind his request for replacement, and takes his place at the helm of what will be one of the most exciting and challenging posts in Starfleet.


Houston, we have a problem!

I find it odd, unlikely in the extreme that the Cardassians are allowed back on the station off which they were ejected but two weeks ago. Admittedly, there is a reason for their visit and it is no coincidence that they wait until the Enterprise has left before approaching, but the ease with which Sisko allows them to "enjoy the facilities" is unsettling. It's like the SS coming back into Auschwitz after it's been liberated, or Al Quadea perhaps walking up to Ground Zero. Is there no tension here, no hostility? It's a Bajoran station after all; surely the locals are upset about this? But nobody seems to say anything, even raise an eyebrow. They're just accepted back. Granted, they're big heavy military types and nobody would want to mess with them, but you would think Sisko might have raised some objections, yet he doesn't. Odd, I feel.

Also, how is it that this wormhole has existed for approximately ten thousand years and yet Sisko and Dax are the first ones to ever locate it? Surely that's too massive a coincidence to ignore? Ten millennia: think about that. All right, man has only had space travel at this point for maybe two hundred years or less, but what about all the alien races passing through this sector? Did the Cardassians, in surely many supply runs to or even attacks on Bajor, never stumble across this? Is that in any way believable, that it's just been here, all this time, waiting for Sisko to discover it?

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Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Season: 1
Episode: 1 and 2
Episode title: "Caretaker"
Original transmission date:  January 16 1995
Total seasons (to date if current): 5
Span: 1995 - 2001
Writer(s): Rick Berman, Michael Piller, Jeri Taylor
Director: Winrich Kolbe
Basic premise: In pursuit of the Federation's enemies, the experimental ship, USS Voyager finds itself in another quadrant of the galaxy, and its crew will have to try to find their way home.
Setting(s): Earth, Federation prison, USS Voyager, The Caretaker's array, Gamma Quadrant
Themes: Loss, duty, pursuit, choice, responsibility
Things I liked: The Doctor. Yeah, that's it. And Kes.
Things I didn't like: As below, how after hating each other's guts the Maquis meekly agree to become part of a Starfleet crew; how Janeway makes the decision for all of them to strand them millions of light years from home, without bothering to ask anyone's opinion, showing her arrogance for the first, but by no means the last time.
Timeline: 24th century
Stardate: Unknown and unknowable
Vessel: USS Voyager
Class: Intrepid
Registry: NCC-74656
Location: Alpha, then Gamma Quadrant
Mission(s): To recover stolen shuttlecraft taken by Maquis and return the rebels to face Federation justice. This later changes to protecting/destroying the Caretaker's array and finally trying to survive long enough to get back to the Alpha Quadrant.
Dramatis Personae:
Main:
(Note: because of the way this pilot episode goes, the original crew of Voyager is different, with some of those who end up serving on her having been the target of Janeway's pursuit, such as ex-Maquis officers Chakotay and Torres, and others, well, shall we say indisposed, Tom Paris? But as the original crew only lasts a short time and has no impact whatever on the rest of the series I'm going to be treating them like I did "The Cage", which is to say, ignoring them. Therefore the "main cast" and the crew of Voyager are only shown below relative to the ones who became the regulars.

Captain Kathryn Janeway
First Officer Chakotay
Ensign Harry Kim
Lieutenant Tom Paris, helmsman
Security Chief Tuvok, a Vulcan
B'elanna Torres, Chief Engineer, a human/Klingon hybrid
The Doctor, hologram, CMO
Neelix, a Terrlurian, waste of space
Supporting:
Kes, an Ocampa, girlfriend of Neelix, god help her

Ancillary:
Quark
Starring: (Main cast): Kate Mulgrew, Robert Beltran, Roxann Dawson, Robert Picardo, Robert Duncan McNeill (what, was there a casting call for men named Robert or something?), Tim Russ, Garret Wang, Ethan Philips, Jennifer Lien
Guest Star(s):
Armin Shimerman

Synopsis

Like most Star Trek series, this begins with a two-part episode. After the Federation strike a treaty with the Cardassian Empire, certain territories settled by Federation citizens are ceded to the Cardassians. All Federaton colonists are told to leave, as they are now in breach of the new treaty. Many do leave, but unwilling to be uprooted from their homes, many band together and refuse to leave, defying the orders of both governments, and so becoming outlaws, wanted on both sides. They are the Maquis. Why? I have no idea: never explained.  One of their ships has on board a spy, a Vulcan called Tuvok who is working for Starfleet, and when the ship he is on disappears into the plasma fields of the area known as the Badlands, Starfleet's newest ship, the USS Voyager, is tasked with locating it.

However, they get caught by some sort of tetrion warp wave or something and are hurled 70,000 light years from their destination. They see a huge array, apparently firing some sort of blast into space at regular intervals. Shortly afterwards, all the crew are transported off the ship and find themselves in some sort of rural setting, though Captain Janeway confirms they are in fact inside the array. Lots of people greet them. Hillbilly Hell indeed. Things of course are not what they seem though --- are they ever, in any Star Trek? --- and the yokels soon turn nasty when Paris and Kim find evidence of the missing Maquis in a barn that seems to have a holographic projector. What? You don't have a holographic projector in your barn? What century you livin' in boy? The twenty-first? Ah well that there explains it, don't it? ;)

Of course, it then turns out that they're not on some rustic farm, but in some sort of laboratory. Sent back to the ship, they find they have a common goal with the Maquis, who have lost one of their crew, as has Voyager. A truce is arranged as they begin to search for their missing crewmen. Turns out there's only one entity on the array, and he is searching for something, anxious to "honour a debt that can never be repaid". He sends the crew back to their ship, and as Janeway tries to figure out what the entity is looking for, Harry Kim and B'Elanna Torres, the missing crewmembers, seem to be undergoing some sort of medical procedure.
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Voyager locates a ship in the debris field, which (rather sadly for them, and us) introduces them to Neelix, a Tellaxian who tells them that he knows of other people who have been pulled here against their will. He tells them the Ocampa, who live on the fifth planet, at which the pulses from the array are being directed, believe they are being watched over by a being called the Caretaker. As he knows the area well, they enlist Neelix's help to try to solve the mystery and retrieve their crewmembers. Meanwhile we learn that the very Ocampa of whom Neelix speaks are in fact looking after Kim and Torres, telling them that they have been asked to do so by the Caretaker. They are also not the first ones he has asked this favour for. Kim and Torres are told they are suffering from some disease, which may not be treatable. Janeway, Chakotay, Tuvok, Paris and Neelix beam down to the Ocampa's planet, in search of their missing crew, and run afoul of the Kazon, who will become one of Voyager's enemies in the first season. Basically, dumbed-down Klingons. Turns out ol' Neelix has not been quite truthful with the captain! The Ocampa live underground, and all he really wants to do is rescue his lover Kes, an Ocampa who has been taken prisoner by the Kazon. Janeway is not happy!

Down below the planet, a sympathetic Ocampa helps Kim and Torres escape to the surface, while Janeway and co., with the help of Kes, beam down below the surface. Tuvok forms a hypothesis that the Caretaker is dying, and that the debt he owes is to the Ocampa. Janeway worries what will happen to her crew if the only entitly capable of sending them back kicks the bucket? With everyone back together and on Voyager, they encounter two Kazon ships which attack the array, fearful that Janeway will gain access to the technology within. Janeway is therefore placed in the position of taking them on, as she and Tuvok beam over to the structure. There they again meet the Caretaker, who explains that he is responsible for the surface of the Ocampa's world being the desert it is. He is now trying to father a successor, who will carry on the work of caring for them when he is gone. Suddenly, one of the Kazon ships collides with the array, killing the Caretaker, who, before he dies, begs Janeway to destroy the array, lest it fall into the hands of the Kazon, who would use its power to destroy the Ocampa.
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Janeway is now faced with a terrible decision. She can use the array to send them back, or destroy it and accept being stranded here, 70,000 light years from home. She decides to destroy it, making a permanent enemy of the Kazon, and enemies onboard her own ship, as she has taken away the only chance everyone had of getting home. Now they will have to find "another way", as she says.

Houston, we have a problem!
Many, and large ones. But the first, and most pressing of these is the ease with which the Maquis and the Federation crews bond. How can two opposing forces, trapped toegther by circumstance, suddenly become friends? A few days ago the Maquis were being hunted by Voyager, one of its crew was spying on them and now, through the interference of Captain Janeway they are all trapped seventy thousand light-years from their homes. How is there no resentment? How is there no fu[COLOR="Black"]c[/COLOR]king rebellion? How can it be that, on Chakotay's edict, they all decide to "be a Federation crew", and having done that, they all stayed in line? Nobody objected to the Federation taking over and nobody rebelled or even pulled a sulky face?

This should have been a gilt-edged opportunity for ready-made conflict between the ex-Maquis and the Starfleet officers, with Janeway having to maintain some sort of order among the fighting factions, perhaps even putting down attempts at mutiny or sabotage. After all, she and her crew wanted to get home, but all that awaited the Maquis was a prison stockade, so maybe they preferred to take their chances, make a new life out here in the Delta Quadrant, where nobody had even heard of their so-called crimes and they could begin anew. Notions like that could have led to attempts to slow the progress home, alliances could have been made and broken, perhaps even those who had "gone over to the Starfleet side" might have been looked on as traitors... the possibilites were limitless, and would have provided for some edge-of-the-seat drama.

But no. The writers decided that everyone would be one big happy family and from episode two onwards, with a very odd bump along the road, there was no internal conflict. I mean, come on: surely a fiery half-Klingon like Torres should have been torn between her love for Chakotay and her loyalty to the cause she signed up for? Did Tuvok not think it illogical of his captain to sacrifice her people for an alien race she hardly knew? Why was there no backlash? But nothing happened, and all the potential for heartstopping betrayal, intrigue, murder and blackmail went out the window, along with any hope of this ever being a series anyone could take seriously.

The Prime Directive
Each captain in each series has approached this most prized and revered first tenet of the Federation in his or her own way. Kirk regularly found ways around it, Picard rigidly obeyed it, Sisko often danced on the head of its pin. Janeway made it suit her. When the occasion, in her opinion, warranted it, or when it served her purposes, she would blithely ignore the Prime Directive. I suppose in a way you can't blame her: who was going to report her, and to whom?

And surely, in blowing up the array she right away breaks that law? For the Prime Directive states that, quote, "As the right of each sentient species to live in accordance with its normal cultural evolution is considered sacred, no Star Fleet personnel may interfere with the normal and healthy development of alien life and culture. Such interference includes introducing superior knowledge, strength, or technology to a world whose society is incapable of handling such advantages wisely. Star Fleet personnel may not violate this Prime Directive, even to save their lives and/or their ship, unless they are acting to right an earlier violation or an accidental contamination of said culture. This directive takes precedence over any and all other considerations, and carries with it the highest moral obligation" (Taken from Wiki article Prime Directive - Wikipedia, the free encyclopaedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prime_Directive)). Captain Picard put it in more flowery language when he said, again quoted from the same article, "The Prime Directive is not just a set of rules. It is a philosophy, and a very correct one. History has proven again and again that whenever mankind interferes with a less developed civilization, no matter how well intentioned that interference may be, the results are invariably disastrous."

So surely then, destroying the array which has been protecting the Ocampa is in itself a violation of the Prime Directive? Is Janeway not directly interfering in matters which do not concern her, have little or no impact upon her ship, her crew or her mission, and have nothing to do with the Federation, as they have no jurisdiction here? But that's Janeway: the Prime Directive may be sacred, but only when it suits her.

To be fair, most captains (Picard excepted) have tried to twist and turn to find a way to defeat the letter of the law with the spirit of the law, and have mosly been successful. It is not to my knowledge recorded that any captain we know of has been brought to trial or even reprimanded for breaking this Directive. I believe a tacit, unspoken agreement exists whereby Starfleet know that the Prime Directive is impossible to enforce literally and always, and are prepared to turn a blind eye if the ends justify the means.

The Doctor is in
Although Voyager is a series that permits little if any character development, one does slip through the loop. To my  mind there is only one decent character, certainly in the first few seasons, who changes and develops over the course of the show. When we first meet him, The Doctor (he never has any other name, perhaps in a nod to another famous sci-fi series with a doctor...) is irritating, irritated, curt, snobby, elitist and even downright rude. As the episodes go on and he gains more experience this will change vastly. He is of course not a real person; he is a hologram, a computer representation of a person. His actual designation is EMH for Emergency Medical Hologram; he is meant only to be called upon when or if the living doctor on the ship is killed or otherwise unable to carry out his duties. A backup system, essentially. But here in the depths of the Delta Quadrant there is no doctor, no replacement, no person who can take over. Nobody on the ship has anything like the medical knowledge that has been programmed into him, and so he must serve as the primary physician, even though he's not really meant to be left running for any real length of time.

His extended periods of activity naturally become boring when there is no emergecy ---- he's meant to be turned off but cannot do it himself, so if someone forgets he has no choice but to remain active ---and so he becomes interested in things like reading, music and other pastimes, while also taking the opportunity to add to his knowledge of the humans and aliens with whom he serves, learning about them, learning from them, trying to be like them. In some ways, he is like Data in TNG, a not-quite-real person struggling to emulate humans and pass as one of them, knowing himself vastly superior but inwardly wishing he was as they are.

Aliens!
Well, there are aliens on board Voyager if you include the likes of Neelix, Tuvok and Torres, but here I'm talking about the aliens they meet. After all, they're in a whole new quadrant of the galaxy: surely there are as yet undreamed of species here?
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/7f/KesProfileImage.jpg)
The Ocampa
The first ones they meet are the Ocampa, after Neelix has come aboard, he himself a Tellaxian. The Ocampa seem to be a simple, agrarian race with little to distinguish them from humans other than slightly pointed ears, rather like Vulcans but smaller. Oh, and they live for three years or something. Other than Kes, who accompanies Neelix to the ship and stays as part of the crew, they don't really figure in the story again.
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The Kazon
But these guys do. Basically, as I noted in the Voyager journal, a poor man's Klingon (they even look like them), they are a warrior race who take what they want, and become the enemies of the Federation --- or at least, Voyager --- when Janeway destroys the array. In case there's any doubt, the Kazon captain says as he turns away in anger, the debris of the destroyed array fading into space around him, "You have made an enemy today, Captain." Again though, they're badly thought out and they don't last too long before they're replaced with more interesting and deadlier enemies.

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Series: Enterprise
Season: 1
Episode: 1 and 2
Episode title: "Broken Bow"
Original transmission date: September 26 2001
Total seasons (to date if current): 4
Span: 2001 - 2005
Writer(s): Rick Berman, Brannon Braga
Director: James L. Conway
Basic premise:
Setting(s): Earth, Transfer Station, Helix, Qu'o'noS
Themes: Conflict, deception, liberation, independence, trust
Things I liked: Really, not much at all
Things I didn't like: Too much old-tech and just really didn't strike a chord with me at all. A little too much copying from other series.
Timeline: 22nd century
Stardate: (Enterprise doesn't use stardates, as it predates the events in TOS when such a system was invented, so we're left with good old Earth dates) April 16 2151
Vessel: USS Enterprise
Class: Constitution
Registry: NX-01
Location: Alpha Quadrant
Mission(s): Return a Klingon to his homeworld with important information
Dramatis Personae:
Main:
Captain  Jonathan Archer
T'Pol, a Vulcan Science Officer
Trip Tucker, Chief Engineer
Malcolm Reed, Tactical Officer
Hoshi Sato, Comms Officer
Travis Mayweather, Helmsman
Dr, Phlox, a Denobulan, CMO

Supporting:
Ancillary:
Starring: (Main Cast) Scott Bakula, John Billingsley, Jolene Blalock, Dominic Keating, Anthony Mongomery, Linda Park, Connor Trineer
Guest Star(s):

Introduction

While I myself never became a fan of the show, giving up after either season two or earlier, I do have to admire the courage displayed by the creators. Prior to this, various ideas had been floated as to how Star Trek could continue/come back, but most were concerned with, not surprisingly, the future as seen in the previous three series; one suggested a possible "Star Trek Academy" kind of deal, where we would meet a young Kirk, Scotty, McCoy etc as they studied to become Starfleet officers. This was later dropped, if it had ever been a real proposal. For Enterprise, the producers bravely removed the Star Trek prefix (though on the basis of its success this would be re-attached, like the saucer section to the battle bridge, from season three onwards) and set the show only a century after our own time. This allowed them to explore the idea behind first contact with humanity, mostly via the Vulcans, as seen in the movie Star Trek: First Contact, but also with Klingons and others.

It introduced us to the very first ever starship to carry the name Enterprise, its registry denoting both its experimental status and its being the first of its kind - NX-01 - and the technology used much more basic. No phasers, no transporter, no replicators, and an engine only capable of a maximum speed of Warp 5. It also introduced a simmering resentment between humans and Vulcans, as the latter, believing - almost certainly rightly - that humans were not yet ready for space travel, held back important technical knowledge from us and so delayed our entry into the galaxy as a space-faring civilisation. The idea of much of the show taking place on or around Earth, the chance to see humanity take its first steps into a larger galaxy, the development of the technology that would eventually lead to ships such as that captained by Picard and Janeway, all should have been tantalising enough to make this series a shoo-in for me, but somehow it just never clicked.

Synopsis

A Klingon craft has crashlanded in Broken Bow, Oklahoma, and the pilot is being pursued by aliens who appear to have the ability to change their shape (not shapeshifters, I don't think: just that they can flatten and elongate their bodies, a little maybe like Mr. Fantastic from the Fantastic Four). They chase him into a water tower but he jumps out, turns round and shoots it, blowing it and them up. As Captain Jonathan Archer tests the new spaceship he's due to fly soon, a call comes in from Starfleet for him to attend a meeting. There he finds the Klingon, not dead but wounded, and Soval, the Vulcan ambassador and his staff, who have been advising Earth on all interstellar/galactic matters, having been the first alien race to make contact with us. Archer does not trust the Vulcans, who he thinks are constantly delaying the launch of Earth's first space flight for reasons of their own.

The Vulcans want to pull the plug on the Klingon, citing the usual death-is-better-than-dishonour excuse, and return him home, as his people have demanded, but Archer convinces the admiral, against Soval's wishes, to allow him to take Klaang back as the maiden flight of the new Enterprise. On the way there though they are attacked and lose all power as aliens invade the ship. The object seems to have been to capture the Klingon, which they do. They capture one of the aliens, which the doctor tells them is a Suliban, but one that has been heavily genetically modified. Oh yeah: it's dead. Cut to the Suliban interrogating Klaang who, under the influence of truth drugs, reveals that he went to Rigel X to meet a Suliban named Sarin, but either refuses to say what she gave him, or does not remember. As the Enterprise arrives at Rigel X, they are attacked and taken prisoner by Suliban.
(https://m0vie.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/ent-brokenbow18.jpg?w=584)
This does not turn out to be as simple as it sounds, as they have in fact been captured by what appears to be a rebel, who tells Archer that Klaang was carrying evidence that her people are staging attacks against Klingon worlds, in an attempt to make it look as if they are being carried out by other Klingon factions. She then mentions something called the temporal cold war, which of course means nothing to Archer, but before she can explain, they are attacked, this time by real Suliban. The rebel helps them get to their ship but in the process is shot and killed, her last words being that they must find the Klingon. In the battle to get to their shuttle and away Archer is shot and wounded; T'Pol assumes command of the Enterprise. Trip is not happy, especially as the Vulcan has no official rank, being only an observer.

What follows is a rather unnecessary, I would have thought, and clearly intended to titillate scene, where T'Pol and Trip, going through decontamination, rub a sort of oil onto each other's almost-naked bodies. It's, well, it's a bit disturbing, and I'm not so sure why it has to be there, unless it really was just to draw in the t&a brigade of both sexes. Weird. Anyway, Archer soon recovers and takes back command, but he does find that T'Pol has managed to track the Suliban vessel and they are now in orbit over what appears to be their base. Of course, on entering the atmosphere they're attacked, and the good old NX-01 has just baby teeth compared to these well-armed ships, so they manage to snag one of the attacking ships with, um, a grappling hook (?) and the pilot either ejects or gets thrown out. They take the Suliban ship onboard and work out how to fly it, and then Trip and Archer launch in it.

Their destination is a thing called the Helix, basically a structure to which hundreds of Suliban ships cling, kind of like barnacles on a ship's hull, or a really easy game of Tetris. All right, let's be honest here: it's Space Station Regula One, isn't it? How many more times are they going to use that model? Anyway, onto the thing they go, and into it, while the Enterprise hangs, Mutara Nebula-like, up in the atmosphere and tries to resist the attacks against it. Archer and Trip rescue Klaang but now Vulcan emotionless logic comes into play, and T'Pol, believing the captain may already be dead and that a rescue attempt would be foolish and would jeopardise the mission, is ready to return Klaang to Qu'o'noS and will not authorise going back to the Helix.
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Meanwhile, Archer finds himself in a strange room where he appears to be out of phase, and a voice calls to him by name but its owner appears to be invisible, or hidden. He fights the Suliban - because of course it's one of them - and at the last moment Trip uses the - till then quite experimental and not really used before - transporter to beam him out of there, making this, historically I guess, the first transport on Star Trek. They deliver Klaang home with his evidence of interference in Klingon affairs, get the usual Klingon thanks, i.e., up wherever your species traditionally crams things, human - and head off on their mission.

Comments: Overall the feel is decent but I remember getting very bored quickly with this series. The idea of going back to scratch, where such things as phasers and photon torpedoes, holodecks and even transporters are all new inventions, just left me with a sense of impatience. I've never been a fan of Bakula either, and the casting of a Vulcan as science officer seems to me to be a lazy decision, basically copying the original. The Doctor could be an interesting character, and it's the first Trek series to have an Englishman on board, but I found it hard to empathise with any of the others. And as for the puppy? Well are they not just copying Data's cat here, as well as back-referencing Janeway's dogs?

Overall I remember thinking pretty negatively about this (though I see it won awards and the series went on to four seasons, so I guess it couldn't have been all bad) and just losing interest in it around the second season, which I'm not sure if I finished. I recall that for me it started badly with the first - and so far only - vocal theme, which I did not like. That was, for me, a step too far away from established Trek music. It's a good song and it fits in well, but I just couldn't get my head around it. I also feel it leaps too fast: one minute we're being told humans have to stay at home and the next they're out in space taking on the bad guys. In a single bound etc. It's also very dark, not only in tone but in lighting and colour; very dour and, well, dark. As for the name used for the aliens? Could they be more on the nose? I mean come on: Suli-ban? Really?
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I know it ended up with legions of fans, and anyone reading here may be one, and so I'm not going to say it was terrible. I remember I watched it, but really only because it was on the telly and, well, it was Star Trek. But I quickly became disillusioned with it, and it just was not for me. Maybe at some point I may revisit it, but I don't feel any pressing need to. Certainly, in my opinion, if there's a runt in the Star Trek litter, Enterprise is it.


Ten things I hate about you

With the tension between the, let's be honest, smug and superior Vulcans and the humans, there are going to be a lot of rivalries in this series it would seem. Things are not helped when a Vulcan is assigned to the Enterprise, one in fact whom only days before Archer has informed he is doing his best to restrain himself from "knocking on her ass".

T'Pol and Archer

Archer of course believes T'Pol has been installed on the ship as a Vulcan spy, and he no doubt wishes she was not there, but as they're heading to Qu'o'nOs, the Klingon homeworld, and she is the only one  among them who has dealt with them, there's nothing for it. There's little real chance initially of them getting on; T'Pol is dismissive of humans, acting as an adult among children, totally sarcastic and condescending, while the crew fume at the fact that they have no choice but to trust to her, since these are their first steps into the greater galaxy. Her borderline contempt for humans is shown when Trip attempts to intervene in what he sees as a mother abusing her child, only to be told by the Vulcan that there is a racial reason for what he sees, and that the mother is doing what any mother would, helping her child. No doubt this shows him how little he actually knows, and it's a sobering lesson.

Archer makes no secret of his suspicions about T'Pol, who blandly denies them, but doesn't seem ruffled. In some ways, she probably expected such a reaction. To her, humans are savage and uncivilised and untried, and while they can't quite be compared to stone age man facing his gods (like maybe the sun or a bear or something) she kind of acts like that's the way she sees the relationship. Not that she considers herself a god (not sure Vulcans worship gods, and being totally logical you would imagine not) but she definitely sees herself on a much higher level than them. In time I imagine they'll become the best of friends. Possibly.

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And that was it. After the cancellation of Enterprise (now renamed as Star Trek: Enterprise) at the close of its fourth season in 2005, there would be no more new official Star Trek for another twelve years. However, if Star Trek fans are known for one thing, it's being obsessive, and paying great attention to the tiniest details, to the point where they could make these series themselves. And with no new official show on the foreseeable horizon, that's exactly what they did.

Some were truly great, others were, well, not. Some garnered praise, and even support from cast members of the official shows, a few of whom actually made guest appearances on one or two. Some of the series folded after a short amount of episodes - it's hard to imagine the amount of money needed to bring even one episode to transmission, never mind seasons, and remember, none of these had any sort of studio backing, so it was the guys and girls' own money that got them made, and possibly that of investors and/or advertisers, but looming over all like some disapproving but lazy parent was the copyright holder, and as we'll learn as we go through these, many of the potential shows were slapped down by CBS in a "dog in a manger" idea. We're not doing it, so you can't either.

Some got around what became quite draconian rules in various inventive ways, one even dropping all references to the franchise (yet clearly a Star Trek show in all but name) and some, sadly, had to be cancelled as they would not be authorised. But good, bad or bloody awful, you have to hand it to the men and women who put their time, efforts, money and perhaps also family and job on the line to bring us even one episode of their vision of where the franchise could go, or their idea of expanding on an already-written show. They all deserve the highest praise, whether they succeeded in creating almost a rival to the official series, or whether they ended up with a camcorder-held film of guys in silly uniforms running through a forest for thirty minutes. To all of them, I say, ka'plah!

Because all of these shows are based on the originals, there are new categories I'm judging them by, including, perhaps most importantly, one which will measure how well, or badly, the series stands up against the official ones. Believe me, it varies wildly. Explanations, where needed, are given at the end.

For now, it's time to either engage, ahead warp factor whatever or, you know, just get the damn computer to stop rebooting so we can get this show started! Who bought this cheap piece of junk? And whose dog is that? Oh, right, it's mine. Okay. Off we go, crossing the not-quite-final frontier and going where a lot of people have gone before.

The Human Adventure stumbles on...

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Introduction

Discounting movies (which I said I would) this appears to be the very first fan-made series, and indeed one of the most successful, running to 50 episodes and, as I noted in the list, giving rise to no less than four spin-off series. Okay well technically speaking it wasn't the first, as I read the series it span off from itself, Voyages of the USS Angeles, ran into those legal troubles I referred to earlier, and is not allowed to be available anywhere, so I guess for all intents and purposes it doesn't exist, leaving us with this as the first series we can actually watch. Set after VOY, it concerns the exploits of the USS Excelsior during the aftermath of the Dominion War seen in the fourth to seventh seasons of DS9. Another setting used for this series is Deep Space 12, which is located in the area of space known as The Briar Patch.

Series: Star Trek: Hidden Frontier
Season: 1
Episode: 1 and 2
Episode title: "Enemy Unknown"
Original transmission date:  n/a
Total seasons (to date if current): 7
Span: 2000 - 2007
Writer(s): Rob Caves
Director: Rob Caves
Basic premise: At the climactic Battle of Lapolis, the USS Devonshire encounters a new threat: an alien species who can control minds. And look like jawas.
Mood: Sombre, action
Setting(s): Space, Lapolis system
Themes: Power, survival, mind control, aliens, war
Things I liked: The CGI sequences
Things I didn't like: The acting
Timeline: 24th century
Stardate: ?
Vessel: USS Excelsior
Class: Galaxy
Registry: NCC-77246
Location: Alpha Quadrant
Mission(s): Originally, part of the Battle of Lapolis, driving back the Dominion in one final push. Later, to track down this new alien species and direct them to the new Star Wars movie stage.
Dramatis Personae:
Main:
Captain Ian Quincey-Knapp
Commander Elizabeth Shelby**
Dr. Henglaar, a Tellerite, CMO
Lieutenant Commander Robin Lefler**
Mura Elbrey, Ship's Counsellor
Lieutenant William Martinez**
Lieutenant Toby Witczak**
Ensign Jenna McFarland**
Ensign Andrew Barret**
Rayvan**
Ensign Ro Nevin**
Ensign Brad Rawlins**
Lieutenant Commander Rodriguez*
Lieutenant Paul Brickey*
Ensign Abney*
Ensign Jason Williams**
* Part one only
** Part two only

Supporting:
Ancillary:
Starring: (Main cast) David W. Dial, Risha Denney, John Whiting, Joanne Busch, Barbara Clifford, Anthony Diaz, Matt Kruer, Adrianne Lange, Tyler Bosserman, Gregory Allen, Adrian Bosserman, Tristan Clark, John Wallis
Guest Star(s): Jeanne Carrington, Paul Brickey, Rob Caves

Synopsis

The episode borrows from the opening of DS9, with a desperate battle in progress, though this time it's the Dominion's last stand in the Battle of Lapolis. During the battle Captain Quincey-Knapp (seriously? They could have chosen any name for their captain and that's what they came up with?) of the USS Devonshire is ordered to pursue three Dominion ships which have broken away from the main formation. The Dominion get in a lucky shot however and disable the Starfleet vessel, which has to stop for repairs. Once these are effected, Quincey (look I'm just gonna call him Captain Knapp, everyone okay with that? Tough; I'm doing it anyway) takes his ship into the McAllister Nebula, into which one of the ships vanished, pursued by another Starfleet one.

Inside the nebula they confirm the other ship has been destroyed but there is as yet no sign of the Dominion vessel. Oh wait, the Starfleet ship, the Rutledge, is still intact, but with no life signs? Anyway they beam over and stick their noses in where they're not wanted in true Star Trek fashion, and find there is one member of the crew left, a Betazoid who tells them that the rest of the crew were captured, or rather went with, some alien species who seemed to be able to control their minds. The aliens destroyed the Cardassian ship the Rutledge had been chasing, took the crew of the Starfleet vessel, and ****ed off. The Betazoid was able to resist their mind control because, you know, she's not human.

While there, the mysterious aliens come back and try to take the away team, but the Betazoid, um, completely fails to save them, other than the doctor, who's also alien, a Tellerite apparently. Oh look! The mysterious aliens are Jawas! Sorry guys: wrong franchise! Is that someone's kid playing the part? Anyway, off the other two go and beam back to the Devonshire in order to raise the shields, as they realise the jawas sorry mysterious aliens are attacking there too. Dr. Henglaar shoots the jawa (sorry, sorry!) holding everyone in "psionic thrall" and the crew come back to themselves, preparing to defend the ship.

But their weapons are about as much use as the Enterprise's were against the Borg cube, so Knapp decides there's only one thing for it: engage the auto-destruct, head right for the alien ship and get the **** out of there. Abandon ship!
(https://i.postimg.cc/htKMcTNr/image-2023-04-18-021954131.png)
(You really can't fault the CGI...)

Eighteen months later, Knapp is given command of the USS Excelsior, though he seems to think his crew is far from up to it, as he explains to Jennifer Cole at Deep Space 12. From what I can gather, she's a captain too and looks to have been the wife or girlfriend of his brother, John, who was killed by the Dominion. The Excelsior has been tasked with checking out reports of unknown aliens in the area. Knapp goes to visit Rayvan (seriously? Raven?), an Iconian whose people were all wiped out by a secretive race he calls the Grey, who are very long-lived and tend to, he says, emerge from hiding only to attack and then vanish again. He believes these are the aliens Knapp saw when in command of the Devonshire.

He tells them that the Grey are not a race, but a confederacy of races, and that they are not interested in negotiating. They take what they want, and if you get in their way, as his people did 2000 years ago, you get wiped out. He notes that the metaphasic (I know, I know!) particles in the Briar Patch may be used by them to strengthen their hull armour, which may be why they stay in there, and Knapp realises he needs to find a way to lure them out. When he gets a message that a colony ship has been attacked and destroyed, it's time for the Excelsior's maiden voyage.

(https://i.postimg.cc/yNZDGrnr/image-2023-04-18-022245957.png)

Possibly the only one who can actually act  - and he ain't even human!

I say this under a triple caveat: one, that fair play to them for trying something and in fact being almost the first to do so, two, that I could never do anything like this so who the **** am I and three, that I assume it will get better, I hope. But. And it's a big but. Overall, it's pretty awful. I mean, the CGI is excellent, but the acting? Well, I read that this was all filmed in one guy's house against green screens, so you can allow for that, but the woodenness of the actors is hard to ignore. The captain seems either totally smug or about to piss himself laughing all the time, the other actors vary between being too serious, stick-up-the-arse-like and seeming not to take it seriously enough. The only one I can really single out for any sort of praise is the doctor, John Whiting, who seems to stand head and shoulders above the rest of the cast.
(https://i.postimg.cc/FsN0LmGF/image-2023-04-18-022051087.png)
It's early days, of course, and there are things I like. The connections to the official Star Trek universe, with things like Ensign Ro Laren's brother, Ensign Ro Nevin on board, a trill and an Iconian, even someone portraying Robin Leffler, from TNG's "The Game", and using her habit of making up rules and quoting them at people, all helps to make this more realistic and authentic. I do have an issue with how, most of the time, one actor talks on screen and then it switches to the next, so that it's quite clear they're taking turns in front of the green screen, and even when the ship is in battle all you can see is either the captain in his chair or the helmsman or the tactical station or insert position here, but obviously space is at a premium and they haven't the facilities of a Paramount soundstage, so I think they do well with what they have.

After a pretty action-packed first part (this being a two-part opener, following the tradition since TNG) the second part is not only slow and boring, but essentially a "meet the crew" deal, where the First Officer literally tours the ship and asks everyone who they are and what they do. I understand what they're doing, but I think it could have been done less clumsily. It also drags out a mere 18 minutes till it feels like an hour, and then just as they're about to get to the action, end of episode.

Overall though, for a first effort it's very impressive, but I expect there are better as we go through the fan series. As I say, I'm sure this gets better - I've seen one of the spinoffs and it's very good - but as an opener this is pretty shaky. The story's decent and there's a valiant attempt to set up character backstories, but I think they concentrate so much on ensuring everyone gets their screen time that there's no time left for action, which is, I think, a mistake.

Still, the USS Excelsior has launched: now let's see where she takes us.
Oh no, wait: we won't, as I'm only doing this episode. Still, you're free to check the entire seven seasons out courtesy of YouTube.

Script: 5/10
Acting: 2/10
CGI: 10/10
Mood: 5/10
Faithfulness: 2/10 (live action) 10/10 (CGI) giving an average of 6/10
Soundtrack/effects: 7/10
Costumes: 7/10
Probability of watching more: 5/10
Balance between animation and live-action: 2/10
Gender balance: 6/10

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/a6/Starship_Exeter_logo.png/470px-Starship_Exeter_logo.png)
Series: Starship Exeter
Total seasons (to date if current): 2 episodes only
Span: 2002 - 2014
Writer(s): Jimm and Joshua Johnson
Director: Jimm and Joshua Johnson
Things I liked: The whole "homage to TOS" thing going on
Things I didn't like: The shots of the ship and space (very clunky) and the lack of a role for Commander Harris, whose scenes all entailed sitting in the captain's chair showing her legs.
Timeline: 23rd century
Vessel: USS Exeter
Class: Constitution
Location: Alpha Quadrant
Dramatis Personae: Captain John Garrowick, Lt. B'Fuselek, an Andorian, Cutty, Commander Jo Harris, D'Agosta
Starring: James Culhane (Jimm Johnson), Holly Guess, Michael Buford, Joshua Caleb (Joshua Johnson)


Comments
Two years after Hidden Frontier launched, and this looks ten years ahead of them. At least. Retaining the look and feel of TOS, this is far more authentic. People walk around corridors, doors open and close, they even use those blocky monitors that TOS used (I guess they're old computer monitors but they look well). Everything is far brighter compared to HF: there's a real sense of space here whereas on the other series it was pretty obvious everything was taking place in a limited area. The other was also much darker; this is cheerful and well-lit. I'm already impressed, and the title credits haven't even run yet.

Okay, and now they're running, and it's basically TOS, though they have changed the voiceover and the wording, probably at CBS's insistence. They have however kept the original score. Interesting. I would say that on first viewing, the animation is poor. Where HF loses on live-action and acting and sets, it looks like it may kick SE into a gaseous nebula in terms of animation. The movement of the ship over the credits is jerky and glitchy. Let's see where this goes. Proper communicators, tricorders, a decent transporter effect, and quite a clever little philosophy of life espoused by the Andorian crewmember, Mr. B'fuselek. Getting better. I see they stuck with the original costumes too, which means, um, very revealing skirts for the ladies. I wonder how that went down? Guess as long as they don't go up... sorry.

Cleverly avoiding having to CGI "nine-foot lizards" by the expedient of mentionign them and then running away. Oh okay no there's one now. Ah. A bad plastic toy I think, definitely not CGI. Looks very rubbery. Phaser effects are good though. Sound effects very true to the original, building structures faithful, and the Klingons, when they appear on the scene, conform to the type seen originally in TOS. Without question, animation aside, this is far better than Hidden Frontier, and far more enjoyable. The acting, too, is way superior, even if Captain Garrovick (why such an odd name I wonder?) more or less shrugs when one of his men is forced to do a good impersonation of a cinder. I know ENT used Andorians first, in a way TOS had not - in that series they had a best a minor role - so perhaps credit can't really be given to SE for featuring them as the bad guys, but what they do, so far, they do very well indeed.

I would say however that the guy playing the main Klingon seems to think he's in Sons of Anarchy or something. He speaks way too fast for a Klingon, without the slow drawl and wicked growl the TOS ones had, and also without the slightly foreign tilt to the accent. He's an American Klingon, and he's not hiding it, which is unfortunate because he's the first one who has not acted well. Ah look! In a real homage to Kirk, Garrowick also loses his shirt and exposes his manly chest. They also observe TYAT (Throw Yourself About Time), a mainstay of TOS, and even have a fist-fight between the captain and the Klingon, complete with ripped shirt. Sweet.

Yeah, overall I'd give this a big thumbs up. The animation is basic but to their credit they don't rely on it at all, preferring instead to act the thing out kind of like a LARP (Live Action Role Play) and do very well with it. They succeed exceptionally well in maintaining the feel and mood of the original, even down to the little comedy bit right at the end, and the flash display of scenes over the end credits. The font is perfect too, though green rather than blue or yellow. The acting is, to be fair, first class, and I could see these guys acting in the real thing, had they been young enough. All in all, an excellent production.

Ratings

Script: 10/10
Acting: 9/10
CGI: 3/10
Mood: 9/10
Faithfulness: 10/10
Soundtrack/effects: 10/10
Costumes: 10/10
Probability of watching more: 10/10
Balance between animation and live-action: 2/10
Gender balance: 3/10

All right then, so far we've had a pretty poor attempt that perhaps inexplicably went on to seven seasons (though it did get better) and one that was a great attempt but only had the chance to repeat that formula once. Which brings us to...
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/2c/WEAT_Poster.jpg)


Series: Star Trek: New Voyages (previously known as Phase II)
Total seasons (to date if current): 1 (10 episodes)
Span: 2004 - 2016
Writer(s): James Cawley, Jack Marshall
Director: ?
Things I liked: Very faithful to the original, official cast members involved, obviously very well researched and with some financial backing they can make it look really authentic.
Things I didn't like: Kirk, and a general air of smugness and self-aggrandisement
Timeline: TOS
Vessel: USS Enterprise
Class: Constitution
Location: Alpha Quadrant
Dramatis Personae: All the usual TOS staff and crew
Starring: Brian Gross, Brandon Stacy, Jeff Bond

Well the graphics, CGI and sets are first-rate, as are the costumes, and this has the look of being a fan-made series which had much input from the official sources. I read that people like Walter Koenig and George Takei appeared in it, and that one of the episodes was written by D.C. Fontana, so it's obviously a cut above the rest.

And yet...

It kind of leaves me a little cold. I don't like the portrayal of Captain Kirk. James Cawley plays him with an arrogant attitude, almost a perpetual sneer, which to me says "Look at me! I'm doing something you always wanted to do all your life!" A bit up himself to be honest. None of the smile or the easy charm of the man we know as the captain of the Enterprise. And what's with the stupid quiff? Spock is okay, the girl playing Uhura almost has her voice down pat - close your eyes and it could be Nichelle Nichols. The guy playing Dr. McCoy is good, so is the actor playing Chekov. They're all good, but there's something a little... sterile? About it to me. I kind of don't like it. They're also rehashing a basic plot from the original series, or most of it, bringing in a woman who can become an Orion Slave Girl, a being of energy who kind of reminds me of a non-physical form or Nomad or maybe Sargon, and a ship that looks suspiciously like a Borg cube, twenty years before the Borg were ever known.

I'm not sure that having official sanction through cast members and obviously a large budget makes this any better than the one I just watched. That had charm, and the real feel of fans who were dedicated to their show, whereas this just looks like people who want to show how great they are. I'm probably in the minority here, but so far I really don't care for this. The montage of Kirk's future through the movies was good and was well done, but the story in the episode, to me, didn't make much sense, and personally, I find this very much a case of style over substance.

Script: 410
Acting: 8/10
CGI: 10/10
Mood: 9/10
Faithfulness: 10/10
Soundtrack/effects: 8/10
Costumes: 10/10
Probability of watching more: 0/10
Balance between animation and live-action: 8/10
Gender balance: 5/10

(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/82/12/89/82128977c3510fd9839311483a722b91.gif)

Approaching shuttle bay... arrival imminent.

(https://i.postimg.cc/ZYrcrRBc/stda.png)
Series: Star Trek: Dark Armada
Total seasons (to date if current): 1 (4 episodes)
Span: 2006 - 2016
Writer(s): ?
Director: ?
Things I liked: Great CGI, very faithful, behind-the-scenes looks were cool
Things I didn't like: Settings very unreal and fake-looking, dialogue leaves something to be desired.
Timeline: 24th Century
Vessel: USS Batavia
Class: Nova
Location: Alpha Quadrant

The only (?) Dutch effort, this series is based in the world of Star Trek: Nemesis and seems to involve the ship going back in time to save the future by preventing the destruction of Vulcan. The CGI is truly beautiful, though the sets themselves look a little like a cross between the plundering of an IKEA store and CGI scenes. Acting is a little off, but then I guess we should remember none of these people are professionals, or getting paid. The dialogue is pretty stilted, though again I suppose if you heard it in the original Dutch it might sound better. I wouldn't know. But yeah, the backgrounds all look computer-generated. They're too bright, too flat, and when people interact with most of them they look like they're in a computer game. Decent departure from the standard storylines to tackle an alternative timeline idea. I like the "behind-the-scenes" bits interspersed over the ending credits.

Script: 10/10
Acting: 7/10
CGI: 10/10
Mood: 9/10
Faithfulness: 10/10
Soundtrack/effects: 10/10
Costumes: 8/10
Probability of watching more: 10/10
Balance between animation and live-action: 8/10
Gender balance: 9/10

(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BZWVkMzFjNzYtYjQwNy00YjNjLWE5ZDktZjdhMDc5ZWUxMGU1XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMzYzNzc1NjY@._V1_.jpg)
Series: Star Trek: Odyssey
Total seasons (to date if current): 1 (10 episodes)
Span: 2007 - 2011
Writer(s): Rob Caves
Director: Rob Caves
Things I liked: CGI (even if Babylon 5-lite), story, maturity, acting, music
Things I didn't like: Sets still quite dark, boring opening sequence
Timeline: Unsure, but after the end of Hidden Frontier
Vessel: USS Odyssey
Class: Allegiance
Location:  Andromeda Galaxy

Comments

The first spin-off from Hidden Frontier, Star Trek: Odyssey is the first and so far only Trek series of any kind to take place beyond our galaxy. As in its parent, the CGI is exceptional, though I do have a slight problem with them using the same effects that formed the jumpgates in Babylon 5. The sets are still too dark and we're still seeing only one person on screen at a time, mostly; given that this is a spin-off it seems all but essential that all of, or at least the finale of Hidden Frontier should have been watched; sort of like seeing the opening of DS9 without seeing TNG's "Best of Both Worlds", but no doubt there'll be some exposition to fill us in.

Seems in this iteration of the series there's a - presumably uneasy - alliance between the main powers, with the Romulans, Klingons and Federation all banding against a common enemy, the Archein (sounds a little like the Archons to me, but however) and an artificial wormhole they have created. Although the original series, mostly TNG, tentatively explored gay relations, this series (including its parent) is the first I see to have an openly gay character, and one in a position of authority, soon perhaps to be command.

Yeah, definitely using B5 as their CGI template, not only the way the ships hover and fly around the larger ones like Starfuries patrolling the station in JMS's masterpiece, but also the way the readouts are done - "X planet in Z sector, home of blah" - completely ripped off. Odyssey certainly becomes the first - unless HF did it - to feature a homosexual kiss and close-on sex scene, and the sequences in the slipstream drive are quite impressive. It's established itself as one of the more mature series, with a pretty good handle on what made both TOS and TNG so successful. I do wish though that one of these film makers would try something different for their opening sequence: they all more or less copy a version of VOY, except the one that completely copies TOS. I do like the music here, though, which seems to have been composed specially.

The conflict engendered in having races who have been traditional enemies working together out of necessity is handled well, particularly the abrasive, superior attitude of the Romulans, somewhat comparable to that of the Vulcans to humans in ENT, and seemingly far better than the way in which VOY dismissed it from episode one. I would say the lighting is still bad for the live-action scenes, makes everything murky and dark, but the acting has progressed considerably. In fact, comparing this to its parent, which only launched, as it were, seven years prior, this is, if you'll forgive the phrase, a quantum leap in both acting and storyline. Very very impressive.

Script: 10/10
Acting: 10/10
CGI: 10/10
Mood: 9/10
Faithfulness: 10/10
Soundtrack/effects: 10/10
Costumes: 10/10
Probability of watching more: 10/10
Balance between animation and live-action: 10/10
Gender balance: 10/10

(https://i.postimg.cc/FHHkk19j/farragut.png)


Series: Starship Farragut
Total seasons (to date if current):  1 (8 episodes)
Span: 2007 - 2016
Sample episode: "The Captaincy"
Writer(s): ?
Director: ?
Things I liked: Great CGI, vrey faithful setup, links with another fan series
Things I didn't like: Too much talk, not enough action
Timeline: TOS
Vessel: USS Farragut
Class: Constitution
Location: Alpha Quadrant

Another series which looks to TOS for its inspiration, and has in fact won awards for its episodes. They've certainly remained true to the spirit of TOS with the sets (they even have the red doors) but I sort of wish they didn't all feel they have to have an Uhura clone at comms, in other words, a black girl. It seems a bit tokenish at this point. It was great for the time, but it's just paying lipservice now. I'm not enamoured of the acting of the guy playing the captain (John Carter? Really?) but I still like him better than yer man from NV. The music is very iffy though, however the CGI is excellent.

I would say though that these guys are leaning a little too much towards the easy, friendly, almost comedy angle, and chatting so much on a landing party that it's a relief when Klingons show up and there's some damn action! Mostly this is just three to five people walking around in a forest. It's a bit boring to be honest. No shots of the ship, inside or outside, for the last fifteen minutes or thereabouts. No check in, no nothing. If it wasn't for the uniforms this could be any LARP really. Unlike SE, I'm just sort of praying for this thing to end. It's pretty poor compared to the others I've seen. Not sure how this won any awards. The fight scenes can only be described as comical.

Okay that was good. Klingon comes in, disarms them, Carter says "You must be Krug." He says "Captain Krug. And you must be... oh, I nearly forgot: I don't care!" I also like when Krug says he will interrogate the weak female, who then slugs him from behind and snaps "Weak female my ass!" I'm glad to see they continue the old tradition of commodores being nothing but a pain in the hole for captains, and this one certainly is. They also use the old "phaser on overload" trick, which is good. The TYAT is cool too. Interesting to see how they got the NV crew in to do a cameo as they link up with the Enterprise.

Overall, not bad, but compared to others I've seen so far it falls a little short and needs work.

Script: 810
Acting: 6/10
CGI: 10/10
Mood: 9/10
Faithfulness: 8/10
Soundtrack/effects: 4/10
Costumes: 10/10
Probability of watching more: 4/10
Balance between animation and live-action: 1/10
Gender balance: 10/10

(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNWY4M2ZkNjYtZTQ4MS00MDg1LWEwNjQtN2FiMWM3ZTg5NjM0L2ltYWdlL2ltYWdlXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyODE5MzcxOQ@@._V1_.jpg)


Series: Star Trek: Intrepid
Total seasons (to date if current): 1 (17 episodes)
Sample episode: "The Stone Unturned"
Span: 2007 - 2018
Writer(s): Nick Cook
Director: Nick Cook
Things I liked: Great CGI, clever, good uniforms
Things I didn't like: Not much really
Timeline: Star Trek: Nemesis
Vessel: USS Intrepid
Class:  Intrepid
Location:  Alpha Quadrant

The only (so far) British version, and it's not even English, it's Scottish. Scotty would have been proud! Except he was really Canadian, but that's not important right now. CGI is excellent, as is the backdrop and the uniforms look all but perfect. Plenty of room for more than one person at a time on screen, and what's this? Oh that's clever! They've got a guy who looks and sounds very like Patrick Stewart to play the part of Captain Picard! Now that I like. Hey, if nothing else, this is worth watching to see a Scottish Vulcan! Picard's accent is a little comical, sort of like Dick van Dyke trying to do an English one in Mary Poppins; sounds more like a cockney than a cultured English gentleman. The villain is over-the-top and a ham, a real cartoon. This is the first of the series - including even the originals, other than DS9 - not to have the ship warp out at the end of the opening titles.

There seems to be some sort of link between this and Hidden Frontier/Odyssey, if you care.

Script: 10/10
Acting: 8/10
CGI: 10/10
Mood: 9/10
Faithfulness: 10/10
Soundtrack/effects: 10/10
Costumes: 10/10
Probability of watching more: 8/10
Balance between animation and live-action: 7/10
Gender balance: 8/10

(https://i.postimg.cc/x1ZPVfzh/Startrekphoenix.jpg)

Series: Star Trek: Phoenix
Total seasons (to date if current):  1 (1 episode)
Span:  2010
Writer(s): Ben Andrews, James Lyle, Lorraine Montez, Leo Roberts, Brian Sipe, Roy Stanton
Director: Sam Akina, Gale Belling
Things I liked: Almost everything
Things I didn't like: Not much; bit of discontinuity (see below) and the uniforms could be better
Timeline: After Star Trek: Nemesis
Vessel: USS Phoenix
Class: Ascension
Location:  Alpha Quadrant

This immediately impressed me. The opening credits show the ship coming out of a wormhole, or some similar singularity, so points for that. Most of the rest of the credits follow the tired, sorry tried no I was right the first time and trusted ship-making-its-way-around-planets deal that has become so de rigueur in these efforts, though the slow roll of the ship is interesting, and it seems to be none of the usual class of ships used. Then it ends by going back into the wormhole or whatever. Great sets, very authentic and indeed quite unique, not copying anything here, though the uniforms look a bit iffy. The use of power politics in the story, with the captain not being allowed to pick his own crew, is certainly different, sort of touching on the machinations at DS9 and inevitably in Babylon 5.

This sets up an interesting crew dynamic, as unlike most of the series, other than maybe VOY, many of these people don't know or trust each other, and this leads to good tension and even an air of suspicion. I like the effects used on the voice of one of the alien crew members, very well done. The new transporter effect is beyond cool. The official series never really updated that all that much, so kudos to them. The acting is possibly the best I've seen yet; really makes you believe in the characters. The flashbacks are a great idea too, showing how everyone got to where they are without making it too direct or literal.

The colour does though seem to bleed out of the live-action planet scenes for some reason, like the light is bad or something. Gives it an odd look. Okay but hold on: one moment their weapons don't work, and then suddenly they do, without any explanation (I've checked back to be sure)? That's a black mark unless we get some sort of logic behind it later. Doesn't look like there will be. I love the dry English wit of the doctor, and his verbal sparring with the Vulcan recalls the classic match between Spock and McCoy, in perhaps the best homage to that relationship I've seen yet. The usage of "The Minstrel Boy" is a nice call back to the TNG episode "The Wounded". This one probably takes the prize for the best one so far.

Script: 10/10
Acting: 10/10
CGI: 10/10
Mood: 9/10
Faithfulness: 8/10
Soundtrack/effects: 8/10
Costumes: 5/10
Probability of watching more: 10/10
Balance between animation and live-action: 7/10
Gender balance: 10/10

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/97/Star_Trek_Continues_Opening_Title_Card.png)
Series: Star Trek Continues
Total seasons (to date if current): 1 (11 episodes)
Span: 2013 - 2017
Writer(s): Various
Director: Vic Mignogna, Julian Higgins, Chris White, James Kerwin
Things I liked: The classic "opening clip"; Continuity; James Doohan's son playing Scotty; the flawless reproduction of Shatner's Kirk by the guy playing him - he even sounds like him!
Things I didn't like: Slight inconsistencies like the idea of holograms being in the TOS universe
Timeline: TOS
Vessel: USS Enterprise
Class:  Constitution
Location:  Alpha Quadrant

This starts off as if re-running the classic episode "Spectre of the Gun", which gives a real feel of the original series, though it turns out to be a holographic simulation. Now, I do have an issue with this. In the time of TOS such things as holograms were unknown, especially holodecks, so if they're trying to retain the spirit and nature of TOS, I'm afraid this is a big failure. However, the guy playing Kirk looks just like him, and the Scottish accent doesn't seem forced with Scotty. Oh, it's James Doohan's son! That's uber-cool. And Apollo, when he appears, is the actual actor who played the character in "Who Mourns for Adonais?" That's doubly cool.

This guy has studied Kirk thoroughly. He has it all: the look, the walk, the relaxed pose, the sudden looks to the left or right, the tilt of the head, the voice, everything. Close your eyes or even squint them and he could be Kirk. Superb. Could do without the singing though, both from Uhura and Apollo. Meh. There can't be a better successor to TOS than this. I could almost believe I was watching an episode from the actual series. Absolutely first class.

Script: 10/10
Acting: 10/10
CGI: 10/10
Mood: 9/10
Faithfulness: 10/10
Soundtrack/effects: 10/10
Costumes: 10/10
Probability of watching more: 10/10
Balance between animation and live-action: 8/10
Gender balance: 8/10

Series: Starship Valiant
Total seasons (to date if current): 1 (3 episodes)
Span: 2014 - 2021
Writer(s): Michael L. King
Director: Brady Foster
Things I liked: The music. Yeah, that's it.
Things I didn't like: Poor acting, no sympathy for subordinate from the captain, very one-dimensional thinking, too violent, only has two characters (this one anyway), no comic relief, very dark... other than that, it's fine.  ::)
Timeline: TOS
Vessel: USS Valiant
Class: Constitution
Location:  Alpha Quadrant

In contrast to the previous series, this one is very dark and doomy. Other than a brief beam-down scene in the transporter room and a little CGI at the start, it's basically two people wandering around a grassland of some sort, a prairie maybe. It does feature the first black lead actor, so there is that, but it's not very attractive. It's also quite short - only 25 minutes - and with 10 of those gone as I write, I have to wonder what they can do with the remaining fifteen. I find the leader's lack of sympathy for or support of his (female) subordinate pretty disturbing; no words of comfort, no advice other than "shoot to kill", and when she contacts him in fear as her phaser is running out of power, he snaps at her to keep the channel clear. Not really the sort of TOS values I'm used to, I have to say.

It's far more violent than any of the other series so far, with really nothing very much to recommend it at this point. Just sort of brute force and hatred for an alien species who are described as "animals". I really hope this is going somewhere. Okay well it does get better at the end, with a laudable moral about seeing beyond our differences, and basically a sort of Enemy Mine idea. But a series/film like this has to be more than five minutes at the end that ties it all together. For me, this was essentially one guy running around shooting others, and quite frankly, the comments on the YT amaze me. How someone can say it's the best Trek fan film they've seen only leads me to believe either that it's a planted post from a friend or that the person in question has not seen much fan Trek. This is very low par, very low indeed. The writing is good, and there's a great message, but other than that, dumpster material really. Very disappointing. Best thing about it was the music.

Script: 10/10
Acting: 5/10
CGI: 5/10
Mood: 9/10
Faithfulness: 2/10
Soundtrack/effects: 10/10
Costumes: 9/10
Probability of watching more: 0/10
Balance between animation and live-action: 1/10
Gender balance: 4/10

Series: Potemkin Pictures
Total seasons (to date if current):
Span: 2010 -
Writer(s): Various
Director: Various
Things I liked: Nothing (well, when it ended)
Things I didn't like: everything
Timeline: Various
Vessel: Multiple
Class: N/A
Location:  Alpha Quadrant

Potemkin Pictures seems to be an umbrella name under which multiple productions are filmed, some long, some not so long. It seems to be well set up, but it's hard to get too much information on the production so I have to choose one of their series and see how it does. The one I've chosen seems to involve one of the crew who is a half-Klingon named Duras, so I guess that's linking back to the guy who got Worf discommodated in "Sins of the Father" and then was killed by him in "Reunion". Meh, it's kind of a one-act play, only eleven minutes long, and takes place on a Klingon world, but the makeup is shit and the fighting choreography is less than laughable. Not at all believable. The whole thing is basically one fight scene. What a pile of garbage. Makes Valiant look good.

I suppose, in fairness, I may have just picked a bad one. Some of the clips of others in this franchise/series/stable/whatever you're having yourself look okay, and may be good, but I'm a busy man and you only get one chance to impress me. This did not, but don't let that stop you from checking out others in the series. Just don't blame me if they're all as bad!

Script: 2/10
Acting: 1/10
CGI: 0/10
Mood: 9/10
Faithfulness: 4/10
Soundtrack/effects: 3/10
Costumes: 1/10
Probability of watching more: 2/10
Balance between animation and live-action: 1/10
Gender balance: 5/10

(Note: I can't remember the name of the one I watched, so can't find a clip to post. Consider this a lucky escape).

Series: Star Trek: These Are the Voyages
Total seasons (to date if current):  1 (5 episodes)
Episode: "The Fall of Starbase One"
Span: 2017 - 2019
Writer(s): Aaron Vanderkley
Director: Aaron Vanderkley
Things I liked: Acting was all right and the story didn't suck entirely
Things I didn't like: One-act play, bad lighting, poor ending, unoriginal
Timeline: ENT
Vessel: None
Class: N/A
Location:  Alpha Quadrant

The only one so far to be set in the "past" timeline of Enterprise, and so far seems to involve the actors running around some sort of power station. Other than a few phaser fights, no real effects and no CGI. Completely abrupt opening. I mean, literally, it seems like you walk in right in the middle of a firefight and have no idea what's going on. Badly lit, badly observed characterisation (Vulcan uses contractions) and mostly based around information we already know (though this is ENT universe so I guess they don't), that Vulcans and Romulans share a common ancestry. Then it just ends with the Starfleet officers being killed by the Vulcan ambassador. Maybe I just chose a bad example, but this was pretty poor.

And again, people wetting themselves over how great this is on YouTube. Are they watching the same show? Honestly, sometimes I just don't get these commenters.

Script: 6/10
Acting: 5/10
CGI: 0/10
Mood: 9/10
Faithfulness: 210
Soundtrack/effects: 2/10
Costumes: 1/10
Probability of watching more: 0/10
Balance between animation and live-action: 0/10
Gender balance: 8/10

Series: Blood of Tiberius
Total seasons (to date if current): Can only see 1 episode so far
Span: 2019
Writer(s): James Melvin
Director: James Melvin
Things I liked: Animation looks good and the idea is clever
Things I didn't like: Just a trailer so hard to say
Timeline: TOS + 50 Years
Vessel: USS Stargazer
Class: Sagan
Location:  Alpha Quadrant

Ah there's nothing I can say here. A five minute (yeah that's what I said) episode, two minutes of which is taken up with opening credits and which generally sets the scene for what is meant I assume to be a series. Totally animated, probably not a good idea to use actual scenes and voice samples from the original episode it's based on, "Bread and Circuses", but looks an interesting idea. No real story though; animation looks pretty great but there's nothing there for me to judge. A trailer really if anything, and I can't find any more of it so I guess this is all there is.

It is somewhat disturbing that the "opening sequence" features a woman apparently being tortured, and I have to say that though the animation is good, it definitely gives me the feeling of watching a computer game, just seems unrealistic. The idea is clever, and I understand these things take time (and money) but really, five years later all they have is this one trailer? I don't honestly see this coming to life any time soon.

We've reached the point, finally, where I review the last fan-made series, at least so far, and given the slew of official shows out there now, you kind of have to imagine the day of enthusiasts and nerds putting together their own tributes to, and spin on, the various incarnations of Star Trek is over: they filled a gap, some very well, but I feel they are now going to be surplus to requirements. Doesn't mean they won't make them, of course, and this last one looks to be happily forging ahead, but overall I'd say it looks like they've all settled down to watch the new shows, turning back from active to passive viewers, happy to let someone else make all the effort, and spend all the money.

Series: Dreadnought Dominion
Total seasons (to date if current): 1 (11 - 13 episodes)
Span: 2015 -
Writer(s): David R. Wrenn
Director: David R. Wrenn
Things I liked: Very true to the spirit of TOS, obviously a lot of attention to detail although...
Things I didn't like: Someone should tell them to watch episodes with Romulans in them and see how they actually act! A little too reliant on TOS, making this less original than it could have been.
Timeline: TOS
Vessel: USS Dominion
Class: Dreadnaught
Location:  Alpha Quadrant

CGI is very good anyway. They seem to be using a pretty worn-out trope as they come across an earth probe, but we'll see how it goes.  I note the female officer who is supposed to be Russian (another trope filched wholesale from TOS, bit on the nose) seems to keep losing her accent. One minute she's iz speak-ing like zis and next minute she's talking normally. The bridge setup is good, give it that certainly, and their opening credits, while again basically TOS but with their ship, don't suck. A bit too much reading off of data from their version of Uhura for my taste; comes across like she's just reading a list (which I guess she is). Might have been better to have broken up her "report" by having others of the crew interject.The cosmonaut doesn't seem particularly surprised when told he's 300 years into his future. He barely blinks. I would have thought that kind of information would at least make you gasp, or deny it, or, or... well, something. But there's no reaction. None.

The story is decent, bringing in the old rivalry between the US and Russia, and resolving it fairly well, though there is a bit of unnecessary flag-waving. First series I've seen to have a deaf character (or maybe dumb? But I think deaf) - well, TNG had one in the episode "Loud as a Whisper", but I mean as part of the crew. Mind you, I'm all for inclusion, but is it not a bit of an own goal having a deaf communications officer? And what's the deal then with
their Uhura? Has this ship two, um, receptionists? The portrayal of the Romulans is crazy though: Romulans are dour, severe, unsmiling, without humour, and yet this ship seems to be full of jokers and smiling villains. Meh. The commander can't keep her emotions in check, there's none of the cold, clinical warnings you expect from a Romulan, and they fire almost immediately, even if it is a warning shot. Not typical Romulan behaviour. Also, is that not a Klingon vessel rather than a Romulan one? And how can the Romulan guard say, as they take him away, "not the airlock again!" Surely that's a one-way trip?

Look, these guys are trying, but they seem to be missing some very basic tenets here. As noted above re Romulans, in particular. They do try, but it comes across a little like they're trying too hard to be the original series. They use the theme, even have the end credits the way TOS did, but overall you'd have to say it's probably not the worst by any means, but it's not even close to being one of the best. The stupid teaser at the end is annoying, but I guess if you follow the show it makes sense.

And with that I'd just like to pay tribute to all the fans who spent time and money on creating their own version of the show, whether they did a good or bad job. Yes, even Valiant! No matter how it turned out, these people put their hearts and souls into something they loved, and you have to applaud that and give them credit for not just dreaming about it, or complaining there was no new Trek, but getting up off their arses and doing something about it. Whether I personally rated you or not is irrelevant - mine is just one opinion, that of an old codger who can be hard to please, and many may not agree with me. But you did it. You made the effort and turned dream into reality. As Monty Burns once said, to you I say: Excelsior!

Just before we return to the official series then, a last reminder of the fan-made ones, and a chart to show which ones impressed me most.

Like all good charts, we'll count this one down. And so, at the very bottom, in unlucky thirteenth place (but lucky for them there was no lower position or they would have been occupying it) Starship Valiant. Just below that, at number 12, we have These are the Voyages while literallly one point separates that show and New Voyages, which is at 11.

Top ten then begins with Blood of Tiberius, with Hidden Frontier at number 9 and Dreadnought Dominion at number 8. Farragut occupies the number 7 slot, and just above that at number 6 we have Exeter.

The top five then are: Intrepid at number 5, Dark Armada at 4 and into the top three we go.

Number 3 is Phoenix, number 2 is Odyssey and the top show, in my opinion, best of the lot, at number 1 we haveStar Trek Continues.

1. Star Trek Continues
2. Star Trek Odyssey
3. Star Trek Phoenix
4, Star Trek Dark Armada
5. Star Trek Intrepid
6. Starship Exeter
7. Starship Farragut
8. Dreadnought Dominion
9. Star Trek Hidden Frontier
10. Blood of Tiberius
11. Star Trek New Voyages
12. These are the Voyages
13. Starship Valiant

As I say, that does for the unofficial series, and now it seems the franchise is totally committed to ensuring they boss everything from now on. Like Old Gil in the Simpsons, Paramount/CBS grinned "Thanks guys. We'll take it from here." They kicked off the "return of Star Trek" after over a decade with this, showing they were not screwing around. Or, to put it another way, they were saying, in a loud and clear voice
(https://y.yarn.co/e730dbd3-4089-4e80-bcc4-c853df07357c_text.gif)
And they were.
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1a/Star_Trek_Discovery_logo.svg/440px-Star_Trek_Discovery_logo.svg.png)
Series: Star Trek: Discovery
Total seasons (to date if current): 5
Episode: 1 and 2
Episode title: "The Vulcan Hello/Battle at the Binary Stars"
Original transmission date: September 24 2017 (both streamed for transmission same day)
Span: 2017 -
Writer(s): Bryan Fuller/Alex Kurtzman
Director: David Semel
Basic premise: The Federation and the Klingons meet again after 100 years. It does not go well.
Mood: Sombre, dark
Things I liked: Well, the fact that there was finally a new official Trek (and that it wasn't bloody Enterprise!); the usage of subtitles for the Klingon speech, making them seem more alien; two strong female leads (for now); some (see below) homage paid to and detail adhered to in regards to TOS
Things I didn't like: The credits and theme; the blatant shoe-horning in of elements that could not, and did not exist in this time period as far as Trek canon is concerned (holograms, android crew, see below for more); non-observance by the Klingons of their death rituals; almost a little too slick, more like watching a movie really - kind of lost some of the charm of previous Treks
Timeline: Ten years prior to TOS then into the far future
Stardate: 1207.3
Vessel: USS Discovery  (Originally Shenzhou)
Class: Walker (Shenzhou)Crossfield (Discovery)
Location: Alpha  Quadrant
Registry: , NCC-1227 (Shenzhou)NCC-1031 (Discovery)
Location: Alpha Quadrant
Mission(s):  To stop a war. They in fact fail, and start one. Oops!
Dramatis Personae:
Main:
Sonequa Martin-Green as First Officer Michael Burnham
Doug Jones as Science Office Saru
Jason Isaacs as Captain Gabriel Lorca
Shazad Latif as Ash Tyler
Mary Wiseman as Sylvia Tilly
Anthony Rapp as Paul Stamets

Supporting: T'Kuvma, Voq, L'Rell (Klingons), Captain Philippa Georgiou
Ancillary: Sarek
Starring: (Main Cast) Sonequa Martin-Green, Doug Jones, Jason Isaacs, Shazad Lati, Mary Wiseman, Anthony Rapp

Guest Star(s): James Frain, Michelle Yeoh


The first official series since Enterprise, DISC sees a shift in timelines, as it begins in the TOS universe but in season two jumps into the 32nd century, surely further than any series, official or fan-made, has ever gone - literally, where no man has gone before. It's back to war between the Federation and the Klingon empire, and we have a rogue Starfleet officer who seems to have started it. A new drive in something called the Spore Drive, and a trip to the mirror universe. Well, to be fair, if they were going to re-re-re-resurrect the franchise officially, it was going to take something more than a Quantum Leaping new captain and some guy singing the credits, wasn't it? So in typical - and correct - 21st century climate, Discovery features strong female (and black) characters, one of whom is a captain, making her, I think, the third in Starfleet? Wasn't there one in that TNG episode "Conspiracy"? Pretty sure there was. Mind you, to again be fair to the previous male-dominated, pat-on-the-ass-I'll-have-two-quantum-sugars-in-my-hyper-coffee-darlin Trek universe, there have been a real fistful of female admirals, so while the ladies may not always be in charge, they are at least now seen to be on equal, and sometimes superior footing to their male counterparts.

It's an interesting and quite brave premise really, starting in the TOS universe (the first official series to do so) and tackling the events behind the hostility between Klingons (the original ones) and the Federation, and then jumping forward in time. It's also a brave - if perhaps slightly questionable - decision to place the blame for the entire war on the shoulders of the only black female character, instantly, it would appear, casting her in a bad light, but it seems to work out, if I remember from what I saw of it.

There's also usage of the "Mirror Universe" in one of the episodes, and the series has obviously been very successful, currently (at time of writing) in its fifth season, and therefore already eclipsing its predecessor and heading for the kind of success the "big three" had, after TOS, with seven seasons each. Mind you, greed prevails, and from season four onwards the series is only available via the pay channel Paramount+, so make of that what you will. I imagine other, later series have ended up going down the same route, as streaming services begin to overtake terrestrial satellite television channels like NCC-1701D overtaking the USS Hathaway (what do you mean, what's that? Shame on you! Didn't you ever see the TNG episode "Peak Performance"?) - actually, reading further, I see that the first three seasons went the stream route too, these being only broadcast on CBS All Access, changing as mentioned above from season four, don't know why. Oh I see: CBS All Access became Paramount+. Of course it did.

As is traditional by now, the first episode is a two-parter, though in another slight break with that tradition both parts are titled separately, rather than this be part one and part two.  Whether or not this had anything to do with it being streamed I don't know, but given that is is also the first Trek series not to be helmed by what we might style the Trek Mafia - Berman, Piller, Moore, Braga et al - perhaps the producers were looking to make this one as different as possible to their illustrious forebears. One thing this series does follow its immediate predecessor in is opening the episode with Klingons. In Enterprise he was fleeing, here he is addressing his people, though from the look of this one I would think these are hardly the TOS Klingons, unless they've been given a radical update? Cut to two figures walking across a desert; these, we will shortly come to know, are Captain Philippa Georgiu and Michael Burnham of the USS (no, smartass, not Discovery: Shenzhou, so there!), the latter of whom much of this series will revolve around.

They're here on this desert planet to put paid to an almost 90-year old drought which they seem to achieve by the rather simple expedient of shooting the shit out of a well (well done!) - is this not interference according to our favourite Directive? Meh, maybe the aliens asked for help. Anyway, they do the deed but then find that an approaching storm means they can't contact the ship, so resort to a rather old school solution of drawing a symbol on the sand (shades of Deep Space 9, huh?) an arrow, and soon our heroes are back aboard their ship, which, to my recollection, is only the second Federation starship to break atmosphere, the other being of course Voyager, mostly in "Basics".

Credits/themewise, I'm kind of meh. The familiar fanfare is nice, a respectful nod back to the series' beginnings, one that was left out of all three previous series, to their shame, but the actual score? Well personally I find it a little Raman Djawadi, a sort of cross between Game of Thrones and Westworld, and the credits confuse me. Is the ship coming out of a large Venus flytrap? And what's with the hands reaching out, Michelangelo-like? Doesn't impress me with the idea of a series about space, never mind a Star Trek one. Takes a damn while for the episode title to come up, too. Anyway, the Shenzhou is investigating some damage at an array (don't say it! I will: hurray!) and the science officer, who goes only by the name of Saru and is a piece of kelp, sorry one of the seaweed people, sorry a Kelpien, thinks it may be, in the words of another famous fishlike admiral from an entirely different franchise, a trap. When they pick up an unidentifiable object floating near the array, it seems he might be right.

But since when did Starfleet run from the unknown? Can't remember who it was now, think he had very little hair, but someone once said to another person who insisted on being identified only as a letter of the alphabet, "the unknown is what brings us out here!" And so Burnham does a Spock in (sigh) Star Trek: The Motion Picture and dons some Johnny Rocketpants, or at least a jet pack, and for the first time since First Contact someone walks on the bridge - outside. Off she goes to see what the heck this thing might be, but of course it's not that simple, as she lands on it and promptly meets a Klingon, who issues the standard Empire greeting, which is to attack her. They clash, but literally drift apart, and Burnham is returned to the ship remotely, since, you know, she's unconscious or maybe dead.

Scene change to the Klingons, who have apparently recovered the body of the one who attacked Burnham, blaming her - and by extension, the whole Federation - for his death. The speaker, we're told, is one T'Kuvma, something of a rabble-rouser/politician/military leader. Hey now hold on: isn't it true that the style of putting a T' before the name is a Vulcan thing? T'Pau, T'Pring? And why, considering their guy is dead, are they not doing the looking into the eyes and howling to warn the dead that a Klingon warrior is on his way thing? That ritual was established thirty-odd years ago now, at the time of transmission, and while these Klingons are in Kirk's universe (well, ten years before the old USS Enterprise began its mission, I'm told, but still) should this not have been a sacred ritual for Klingons from the early days? Smacks of bad continuity to me, I must say. These Klingons sure do love gold! Makes Trump look positively frugal and tasteful.

Meanwhile, Burnham has been, well, burned, suffering from rather a lot of radiation sickness, and it's nice to see in her memories the return of the late Sarek, though of course played by James Frain (The Tudors/True Blood) rather than Mark Lenard, as both character and actor are no longer with us. This gives us an insight into her past, as we see she was brought up on Vulcan, though human. How that came to be, we'll either learn soon or in future episodes. And as the first officer is in sick bay, we're about the meet the ship's doctor. Meh, seems to be an unremarkable human male. Boo. Would have liked, I don't know, a living plant or maybe a shapeshifter? That would have been handy! "Nurse! 10cc cortisone! Nurse! Oh never mind! I'll just turn myself into a syringe!" It's a measure of both Burnham's lack of respect for authority and for the safety of her crewmates that she goes onto the bridge while still under treatment, risking passing it on to them, and also a measure of the captain's faith in her that when she says, without any evidence, there are Klingons out there waiting for them (and also given that according to the captain nobody has seen one in a century) she orders red alert.

But she's right, and they decloak and invite the crew of the Shenzhou over for tea. Not quite. Hey! How is it possible that, ten years before Kirk could barely have a Gateway 2000 monitor to look at in his quarters, there seems to be some sort of android hybrid creature on this Federation ship? Or is that a member of Daft Punk? Weird. Okay well put a pin in that for now, probably forever, as I won't be returning to review any other episodes, but we have bigger problems to consider. Apparently the Klingon ship is dead, in every sense: no warp signature, no life signs. In fact, it appears to be covered with coffins. Also it does indeed seem to be a trap, as T'Kuvma is watching from, um, somewhere, (Trump Tower maybe) and waiting for the Feds to make their move. Seems there's such a thing as an albino Klingon, and yes, they're as looked down upon there as they sometimes are here. We also learn that Saru's people, the Kelpiens, were, he says, bred for one purpose, to sense the approach of death. Nice. Why would anyone do such a thing? What would be the point? Have a handy death detector on every starship? He's not going to be much fun at the office party, now is he?

Anyway, he thinks death is coming, kind of now-ish, and he's probably right, but you know Starfleet: they don't run from anything unless it's a Borg cube or a network executive with a cancel order, so no can do, son, sorry. Again, history is sacrificed for coolness as we see the captain talking to a hologram, and we know for certain those weren't around in TOS times! Many and varied liberties are being taken here. Back to the Klingons. T'Kuvma was talking about lighting some beacon, and now it seems this derelict ship may be it, as it suddenly lights up, blinding everyone, and Burnham thinks they're sending for reinforcements. Having spoken to Sarek and elicited from him the information she needs, she goes to Georgiou and tells her that the only way to deal with the Klingons is to be strong: though Starfleet have forbidden her to take any aggressive action, she must fire on the Klingon ship, to show their strength. This, she says, is what is known as "The Vulcan Hello", giving the episode its name. I have to say, as names for premieres go, it's hardly up there with "Encounter at Farpoint", is it? Still, I guess it does what it says on the tin.

The captain refuses, so Burnham goes ahead and does it anyway, issuing the order after she has a private word with her captain, which ends in Burnham giving her the old Vulcan nerve pinch (yay!) and effectively mutinying. Thought only Vulcans could do that? The nerve pinch, I mean, not the mutinying, although I can't exactly see a bunch of Vulcans mutinying, can you? I mean, it just wouldn't be - what's the word, tip of my tongue - oh yeah: logical. But just as she orders the tactical officer to fire, Georgiou reappears on the bridge (just how long does that damned nerve pinch last for, anyway?) and takes Burnham into custody, belaying the order to fire. Just then - and I'm sure she'll see the funny side of this, if they survive - a shitload of Klingon ships turn up. Oops! Guess our little mutineer was right, after all. Pity that neck pinch didn't last a few seconds longer. Roll the credits, and hi ye to your nearest download centre!

As the second part opens, we're back in the past, with Burnham being assigned to the Shenzhou, where we find Sarek is her, um, guardian? She's introduced as his ward, so whatever the appropriate term is. Here she of course meets Captain Georgiou for the first time. There's still no mention made of how or why she ended up on Vulcan, but I expect it explains that in time. Back in the, um, present, or past, or whatever you prefer - back with the developing situation, as it were - it seems the Klingon ships are no ordinary ones; they each carry a member of the Klingon High Council, all the great Houses. T'Kuvma puts to them his plan to reunite their race, and while some treat him with disdain, the majority listen, especially as a few moments later Starfleet arrives, and the scene is set for a "glorious battle".

The Shenzhou is done for: only the fact that she's trapped behind a force field in the brig saves Burnham from being sucked out into space, as the rest of the ship around her has suffered multiple catastrophic hull breaches, and can't last much longer. The admiral's ship, Europa, helps to save it but it's in very bad shape. The admiral contacts T'Kuvma, proposing a ceasefire, which the Klingon accepts. However he is planning, of course, a sneak attack. Seems his cloaking device is the first ever, that he either invented or discovered (sorry) it, and Starfleet are unaware of it.  Bad news for the Europa, which gets rammed and then self-destructs for some reason. A great victory for T'Kuvma, who seems to think he's the reincarnation of Kahless, and this seems to be the view of the rest of the council, too, who agree to follow him as their leader. Well, all except that guy. There's always one, isn't there?

After the Europa has been destroyed, the Klingon fleet leg it, and T'Kuvma tells all the Starfleet ships that this disputed territory in now under Klingon control. They've seen his power; they better not mess with him. Georgiou thinks otherwise, and is planning to transport photon torpedoes onto his ship, but the returned Burnham, who has been launched out into space again - this time without jetpack - in order to escape the confinement cell before the force field collapses - advises against it. She should try to capture T'Kuvma instead. The captain does not agree, and shows that, despite what they would like to think, Starfleet are not above using corpses as bombs when it suits them. As T'Kuvma sets about retrieving the floating dead bodies of his comrades, the Shenzhou targets one and beams a torpedo onto his body. The ship is disabled, and Burnham and Georgiou beam aboard to take T'Kuvma prisoner. Guess she changed her mind, then.

It doesn't quite work out that way though. The captain is slain by the Klingon leader, and Burnham, having killed him, is transported back to the ship against her will. She then has to stand trial for her mutiny, to which she pleads guilty, cos, like, she is, even if she was right. You know what the military is like about the chain of command!  There's no last-minute reprieve for her, and she's sentenced to life imprisonment.

From the advent of, of course, Deep Space 9, the general mood of Star Trek, at least the official series, has grown much darker. Certainly, TOS was mostly fun in space, a great lark, with a few serious episodes, while TNG mostly followed this model, maturing the series certainly, but overall, with a few notable exceptions, things turned out all right in the end. DS9 brought a darker, more gritty aspect to the franchise, and while Voyager was often light-hearted fare, at its core it was about a crew stranded seventy-five thousand light years from home, so not too many laughs there. Enterprise, I'm reliably informed, was also mostly dark and doomy, and Discovery now takes this to the limit, opening with the war that has raged since the sixties between the Federation and the Klingons, and showing us how it got started. You can say, I suppose, that a human started it, but really Burnham was originally frustrated in her efforts to neutralise the threat, and in the end it was the Klingons who fired the first shot. Nevertheless, the two races are now at war.

It's heartening to see two strong female leads commanding the show, even if one of them does end up impaled on a Klingon sword. The writing has certainly progressed in leaps and bounds since someone in the 1990s thought, why not have a female captain, and didn't really carry the idea any further than that, leaving us with all but a male captain in a female body, and not much change. I mean, honestly, how many times did Janeway's gender interfere with her command, or how many times was she challenged on the basis of being a woman? Didn't happen at all. So what was the point? Of course, the point is, or was, that it should not matter what way your chromosomes are arranged: a captain is a captain, regardless of their gender, and so it should be. But since there were really no gender-related issues with Janeway's command, was her appointment just a knee-jerk reaction to the changing times and a sort of rampant feminism that was burgeoning in the mostly male-dominated franchise?

Whatever the case for that show may have been, and whatever the thinking behind it, both Georgiou and Burnham manage to make me, at least, forget about or at least see past their gender in this double episode. There aren't many times I'm thinking she's a woman, and at the same time, given the rather figure-hugging uniforms, can't really mistake either for a man. But the point is that, again, it doesn't matter: this series, at least here, proves not that women are as good as men, but that it's a non-issue. The captain is a woman, but we're almost barely aware of that, as with her first officer, who acts more as a man would do, and seems to display none of the traditional frailties of a woman, though I suppose this could be partially due to her Vulcan upbringing, which does not allow one to base oneself on the expectations of their gender. Just ask T'Pau.

I do however take issue with several aspects of the show, as I noted earlier. If the idea was to set it in the TOS era, why not be true to that time? Perhaps the technology has moved on from big blocky monitors and someone playing bass guitar in sick bay, but to blatantly have tech that clearly was not in Kirk's time, such as holograms and androids, is to me a step too far. I also don't really get the Klingons. It's like they've been reinvented for this series, which I can see, but unless this is supposed to take place in an alternate timeline - which I don't think it is - then dues should be paid and a certain respect to the past should be maintained, and I feel it's not. Even the ships are far in advance of what was available to Starfleet back then. It jars with me, heavily.

It's also interesting that the ship to which the series gives its name, USS Discovery, is not even in this premier episode. There's a very strong and disturbingly relevant thread of xenophobia running through this episode, all on the side of the Klingons - or at least, T'Kuvma, who convinces the Council, who are mostly happy to remain as they are, ignoring the humans, to band together against them. This idea of racial purity immediately sets the Klingons in our minds as the bad guys, and conjures up uncomfortable images, while also showing, in my view mistakenly, the Federation as the wronged party, "Pearl Harbored" by the Klingons, and now forced to fight them in a war they never wanted. Yeah, well maybe the whole thing is a false flag operation set up by Section 31, huh? Think about that one!

To my mind, this almost depersonalises the Klingons, making them seem a somewhat two-dimensional, cardboard figure who only believe in conquest and keeping their race pure, and all the hard work that has been done since the 1980s on their characterisation, beliefs, religion, emotions and helping us to understand them better has been thrown out in one fell swoop. Although I haven't watched it all, it would appear there is to be no sympathy for the Klingons in Discovery, and I really feel that's a backwards step, It also returns the Federation - and Starfleet - mostly to the white-hatted good guys Roddenberry forced upon us via Kirk and, to an extent, Picard, and takes away the shades of grey painstakingly threaded through the Star Trek tapestry by Berman and Piller and Moore with Deep Space 9, where we were led to believe that, as with all major organisations - and especially the military - there is no such thing as black or white, right or wrong. I feel the writers missed a trick here and may have made a massive blunder in undoing all that, but then again, as I say, I have only seen one or two seasons, so maybe it all changed during its run. I certainly hope so, because it's a disappointing world, or, if you will, galaxy view that we're being asked to accept here.

Nonetheless, it can't be denied that this is a triumphant return for the official series, and points the way to great things. With the somewhat often lacklustre days of Enterprise behind us, it seems it's ahead Warp Factor 10, rather like Fry in Futurama, destination one thousand years in the future!

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Series: Star Trek: Short Treks
Total seasons (to date if current):  2
Episode: 1
Episode title: "Runaway"
Original transmission date: October 4 2018
 Span: 2018 - 2020
Writer(s): Various
Director: Various
Things I liked: A pretty deep story told in a rather short time, but doesn't lose any of its impact. Nice to see one of the lesser characters get their moment in the spotlight. All-female cast, too.
Things I didn't like: Some glaring plot holes, as discussed below.
Timeline: Various
Vessel: Various, or sometimes none
Class: N/A
Location:  Alpha Quadrant

A series of vignettes and stories mostly with the crew and events of DISC, but later leading up to the opening of PIC. The first one, which I watched, is called "Runaway", and deals with the DISC character Sylvia Tilly, who has had enough of her overbearing, if well-meaning, somewhat passive-aggressive mother for now, and takes a break. It appears an alien has stowed aboard the Discovery and it's a little... agitated, actually acting like a poltergeist, which it kind of is, as it's hard to see, probably out of phase or some damn thing. When it does become visible, it turns out to be a member of a species who have just recently achieved warp travel, and is, into the bargain, a female, and - wait for it - a teenager. Oh joy. A fucking runaway, as per the title. This'll be fun.

The alien, whose name is, um, Po, seems to be on the run from the Galactic Filth, so now, in addition to not reporting her to the captain and breaking protocol, Tilly is hiding a fugitive. Po says her parents and family are dead, but there's a galactic alert out for her, so now what does the young Starfleet officer do? Po tells her that she has managed to find a way to recrystallise Dilithium, which I assume is big news for Starfleet and any other space going race that uses the crystals to power their engines, and also probably puts her in danger, like a kid who has created a program to provide cheap, sustainable food alternatives or has accidentally invented the world's most dangerous weapon: everyone wants her, and the secret she possesses only in her head. She also reveals, as Tilly sets about transporting her back to her home planet, that she is the queen in waiting of that planet, which might in fact be why the galactic APB is out on her. Or not.

To be entirely fair here, the writers accomplish a lot in such a short time. In what is essentially a one-act, two-character play we not only get to see an alien be humanised and even, if such a word exists, and if not I claim its creation and copyright throughout the universe and time, teenagerised, and come to understand her better. We also see the developmental path of what is I think a relatively minor character in Discovery, using the rather tired tropes of "fat girl is useless and has no confidence", but they work, adding in the over-attentive mother. There are, however, several problems with this story.

For one thing, how are we supposed to believe that Tilly keeps the existence of Po a secret for as long as she does? Would the computer not detect an intruder on board, a new life sign? I know Po was "cloaked", but she soon drops that cloak, so would she not then be visible to the late Majel Barrett as an alien lifesign? Also, how is Tilly able to use the transporter without a) permission or b) help? She's an engineer, I think, but even so, is she allowed make unauthorised transports, and would, again, the computer not have caught that and reported it, possibly even aborted it? Won't it be on the transporter log, and how will she explain that? Not to mention the fact that she now knows of a planet where dilithium can be recrystallised, something the Federation will want to know. Does she protect this information, which could certainly help her people, or does she hide it, and if the latter, is she then guilty of withholding vital information from the Federation?

All those niggles aside, it's a clever little vignette, though I do see it as something of a cross between TNG's "The Dauphin" and DS9's "The Abandoned", with a healthy slice of inspiration from the former's "Lower Decks", and I do like the idea. Kind of not a galaxy-spanning, sprawling saga, but the kind of things that might happen to the crew on their downtime. After all, not every moment of their day has to be taken up with preserving the Federation in the face of its enemies. Got to kick back some time. Of course, she's kicking back when an alien walks in: isn't it always the way?

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Series: Star Trek: Picard
Total seasons (to date if current):  3
Episode: 1
Episode title: "Remembrance"
Original transmission date: January 23 2020
Span: 2020 -2023
Writer(s): Various
Director: Various
Basic premise: Picard in retirement
Mood: Dark, grim
Things I liked: Callbacks to TNG, the chance Data might be back, the handling of Picard's older age, the chance to see him in action again
Things I didn't like: Orla Brady's refusal or failure to lose her Irish accent, be the hokay!
Timeline: After Nemesis and also, somehow, after Abrams' Star Trek
Stardate: Unknown
Vessel: None
Class:  N/A
Location:  Alpha Quadrant
Mission(s):  Find Data's other daughter
Dramatis Personae:
Main: Admiral Jean-Luc Picard (ret,);  Agnes Durati, former Starfleet doctor; Dahj and Soji Asha, daughters of Data (!); Sutra, former android template for Data's daughter(s); Kore Sung, daughter of Dr. Adam Soong; Narek, a Romulan agent; Rafealla "Raffi" Musiker, Picard's former Number One; Crisotobal "Chris" Rios, pilot of La Sirena; Elnor, Romulan warrior nun (!); Seven of Nine; Laris, Picard's Romulan housekeeper; Tallinn, supervisor; Data; Lore; Altan Inigo Soong, Dr. Noonian Soong's son; Dr. Adam Soong, his ancestor; Jack Crusher, Picard and Beverly's son (season 3 only)

Note: I'm just putting these all in main, as I have no idea how important, or not, each character is to the series, Picard and Data excepted.

Starring: (Main Cast) Patrick Stewart, Alison Pill, Isa Briones, Harry Treadaway, Michelle Hurd, Santiago Cabrera, Evan Evagora, Jeri Ryan, Brent Spiner, Orla Brady, Ed Speleers
Guest Star(s):


Nobody will be surprised to find this series follows the adventures of the eponymous ex-captain of the USS Enterprise in TNG, however to my surprise at any rate it is not a look back to his past, but rather his retirement after leaving Starfleet. Set 30 years after TNG, and 20 after Nemesis, it seems to focus on Picard's attempts to save Data's daughter. Yeah. I know. Oh I don't like the opening sequence! Hearing Bing singing "Blue Skies", even if it ties back in to one of the movies - a wedding, I think? Is it Nemesis? Probably - I don't like it. Trek series should begin with the fanfare or a log entry with stardate, not this. There is a good callback to the finale of TNG, as it seems to almost pick up where that ended, going through the windows of the bridge of - is it the Enterprise? And showing a game of poker, though this time it's just Picard and Data playing. Okay when Picard - much older, of course now - says "I don't want the game to end", I'm going to assume this is a holodeck simulation. Well, given that Data died in Nemesis, unless he's been rebuilt or is a new model, it can't be real, can it?

Okay, not a holo simulation. One of the laziest cliches in a writer's playbook: a dream. Sigh. Well I knew it wasn't real anyway, but it's a bit of a disappointment, when you remember that First Contact also began with a dream - a nightmare really - as Picard remembered how the Borg assimilated him. Boo. Is there a hidden subtext in his calling his dog Number One? I wonder if Riker would approve? Right, so he's on his family's vineyard, Chateau Picard, though he appears to be living there alone now. Cut to Greater Boston, where two other characters are talking, the female one happy she has got into the Daystrom Institute, the male one not lasting long as men teleport in and kill him, taking her prisoner. Well, they try, but when they press her on where the rest of "them" are, and note she hasn't yet activated, she, um, activates, turning into a killing machine and kicking all their asses.

"She's activated! She's activated!" shouts one, rather unnecessarily, as he takes a kick to the crotch, the others no doubt saying "Really dude? Hadn't noticed!" as they all go down like ten pins. As she sits crying over her dead friend, seeming surprised that she was able to take out all the would-be kidnappers, a vision of Picard comes to her. Now we get the title sequence, and let me ask why, why, why they keep giving the score to this Jeff Russo guy? I didn't like his work on Discovery and I like it less here. There's nothing Star Trek about this; it's like listening to the soundtrack to some unrelated series. Not even a fanfare. Okay, right at the very end there, a real afterthought. Thanks, guy! You broke your heart. And as for the sequence itself? I mean, I see it at the end, it's all leading up to sort of building a picture of the famous captain, but it's confusing and not at all as attention-getting as TNG, DS9 or VOY, or even ENT, come to that. What are they doing to our franchise?

Is there some reason these series are no longer displaying episode titles? Or is it just that my  copy doesn't have them? Hey, don't blame me! For a long time we didn't have Paramount+ here in Ireland, and now that we have, I pay enough for my TV as it is without adding extra subscriptions. I have to say, shame on Orla Brady, who can't even lose her Irish accent. I mean, she's supposed to be a fucking Romulan, isn't she? Why does she sound like my mother? Christ. It's like listening to Colin Farrell in Alexander! Maybe there'll be a reason, we'll see. At any rate, we meet her as Lanis, Picard's housekeeper and some guy called Tallinn (isn't that the capital of Estonia or something?) as her supervisor. Good to see Picard still takes Earl Grey tea, though these days it's decaf, apparently.

Picard is being interviewed on the anniversary of the destruction of Romulus, but it quickly turns into something of a hack piece, as the interviewer questions his role in the relocation of the Romulans after their star went nova, and then links this to the attack on Mars of rogue synthetics, which resulted in much loss of life and the destruction of Starfleet's prized Utopia Planitia, where the venerable NCC-1701D herself was constructed. This leads to the revelation that all synthetic life forms were banned from that time, and then runs into a painful reliving of Data's death for Picard. When pressed on why he quit Starfleet, Picard says that he lost faith in them when they refused to rescue "those people", but I'm not at this point sure if he's talking about Romulus or Mars; he's pretty upset about it anyway, accusing Starfleet of no longer being the organisation to which he gave the best years of his life. Seeing the way things are going, Picard walks out of the interview, but not before the girl who was in the apartment kicking ass earlier sees him on the transmission screen.

She then finds her way to Chateau Picard, and asks the retired admiral if he knows her? He doesn't, and neither can work out why his image appeared in her mind, but he offers her shelter while they try to work it out. He has another dream of Data, this time the android is painting and asks him to finish the face of the figure in it. When he wakes up the girl is gone. He goes to San Francisco, to the Starfleet Archives, and finds there, among his archived possessions, the painting, with the face of the woman on it. It is called Daughter. So now he knows who the woman who came seeking his protection is, and he must find her again. Meanwhile she contacts her mother, who tells her to go back to Picard, which is surprising to her, as she has not up to this point mentioned the man's name.

So Dahj, as she is called, seeks out Picard and then he has to have "the talk" with her. Well, it's never easy to tell a woman she's an android, is it? I mean, come on: we've all had to do it. I must say, the way he handles it is inspiring - delicate, loving, confident, certain - makes me remember why we loved this guy so much. And as he's aged he's only got better. Not that this really helps Dahj, who now has to cope with this rather terrifying revelation. Still, she at least knows she suddenly has a true friend, who will protect her and stay with her. But now her pursuers have found her, and really, at his age, being on the run is not the best thing for our retired admiral! But he's game, and off they go.

Some Matrix-style moves there from Dahj, and all the aged Picard can do is gasp for breath and watch as some sort of booby-trapped weapon takes her out. Picard wakes up back home, tells Lanis and Tallinn that the people after her were Romulan, and now he owes it to her to find out why they wanted her, and goes to the Daystrom Institute, where he meets Doctor Agnes Durati, and asks her if it is possible to create a sentient android from flesh and blood? She laughs, says it is not, and he wonders how he could have just recently have had one in his house? She tells him that before the ban, she and Commander Bruce Maddox (remember him, from TNG's "The Measure of a Man"?) had had some success with inferior creations, and that they created them in pairs, so that Dahj may be dead, but her twin sister is out there somewhere. If her neural net can be recovered, it may be possible to "bring Data back to life", as it were. And so Picard has his mission. But no ship. I wonder if admirals, even retired ones, are allowed to hitch-hike?

Cut, for the final scene, to a Romulan reclamation centre, where we meet both Narek, a Romulan spy and Dahj's sister, Soji, who is working there as a doctor. And oh look! Surely, as the camera pans out and away, that can't be anything other than a Borg cube, can it? Interesting.

Quite a lot better than I had expected. The older Picard has a sense of world-weariness and gravitas about him, and is no longer the young (ahem) idealist we met in TNG. He's seen how the world works, seen, to quote Aztec Camera (shut up) how men are, and he's even come to the realisation that Starfleet is not the gentlemen's club he believed it was in his youth. The idea of his retiring to run a vineyard nods back to the future scenes (at the time) in TNG's two-part finale, "All Good Things..." which is a good touch. And also of course the slow, boring comedown after "The Best of Both Worlds Part 2", where he popped home to say hi in "Family." There's a fair bit happens for one episode to introduce the series, and while you couldn't call it quite action-packed it's not exactly slow either. The possibility of Data living on through his daughters is clever, and I believe in time we do get to meet Data himself, though whether that's in reality or via dreams/holograms I don't yet know.

I also like the way the writers make Picard bow to his advancing age; as he runs with Dahj he finds his body betraying him. Fleeing from bad guys with a beautiful woman (even an android) is a young man's game, and he has to accept that he's no longer up to it, and can only watch as she takes on said bad guys, powerless to help her as she is killed. Or, to put it in the words of another famous franchise, he's gettin' too old for this shit, and he knows it. Nevertheless, this is the legendary Jean-Luc Picard, and he wouldn't be the man we know and love if he let injustice stand and passed on the opportunity to help right wrongs, so the die is cast, if with a slightly shaking hand. The woman who interviewed him for FNN (Federation Network News?) reminds me of the lawyer from Billions, who worked for Chuck Rhoads and then switched sides. Wonder if..? No, not her. Ah well.

Despite everything he did in "The Measure of a Man", then, androids - or, as they're now called, synthetics - have been outlawed. Well, I suppose it's easier to pass such legislation when they've murdered thousands of humans and cost the Federation billions of credits (or whatever they use for currency) in shipbuilding yard repairs and lost ships. I assume, as the series progresses, we find out what was behind the attack, but right now it's just seen as a senseless terrorist attack, and no doubt Data would be appalled if he knew what his brothers in silicon have done. I find myself wondering what connection the Romulans have with the Borg - no, that was definitely a Borg cube, and putting it as the final scene only reinforces that - as I believe they were the first of the races we know to encounter them, see "The Neutral Zone" for a teaser, though I can't recall if they fought against them? Perhaps they struck some sort of alliance with them? Doubtful: the Borg don't do alliances - oh wait: didn't Janeway strike a very ill-conceived and unwise deal with them? So what's to stop the Romulans from doing the same?

The whole look of the show is, if I'm honest, more J.J. Abrams than Gene (or Eugene) Roddenberry, but then, you move with the times or you die. Adapt and survive, as they say. It has left me with a desire to watch more, which I will do, on my own time, but as an opening episode, and also allowing for the fact that this is for once not a two-parter, very impressive.

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Series: Star Trek: Lower Decks
Total seasons (to date if current): 4 (fifth due)
Episode: 9
Episode title: "Crisis Point"
Original transmission date: October 1 2020
Span:  2020 -
Writer(s): Various
Director: Various
Basic premise: The adventures, as such, of a very unimportant, non-flagship of Starfleet
Mood: Comedic, upbeat, frivolous
Things I liked: Almost nothing
Things I didn't like: Just about everything. Not for this old guy!
Timeline: Not sure: TNG universe?
Stardate: Dunno
Vessel: USS Cerritos
Class: Not sure, don't care
Location:  Alpha Quadrant
Dramatis Personae:
Main: Ensign Beckett Mariner, Ensign Brad Boimler, Ensign D'Vana Tendi, Ensign (seeing a pattern here?) Sam Rutherford, Captain Carol Freeman, First Officer Jack Ransom, Shaxs

Starring: (Main cast)  (voices of) Tawny Newsom, Jack Quaid, Noel Wells, Eugene Cordero, Dawnn Lewis, Jerry O'Connell, Fred Tatasciore

The first - official anyway - comedy Trek series, this takes a lighter look at one of the "least important ships in the galaxy" and how its crew deals with possibly non-galaxy-threatening events. It's also only the second official and the third overall of the series to be fully animated.

In case anyone's wondering why I've gone for episode one on every other series (where there are more than one, which there aren't in the case of some fan features), but episode nine here, I once had an ill-advised idea to do reviews of random Trek episodes from all the series. Yeah. didn't work out for obvious reasons. But before I figured that out, I wrote this one, and frankly, I was so unimpressed with the series that I have no wish to review another one. Besides, this one's done already, and I'm lazy. Sue me.

Okay let's see if I can figure this out. I think we need some basics before I jump into this. So, the main character, in a reversal of the usual Trek franchise method, seems to be a mouthy ensign (they're almost all ensigns, as you can see) called Beckett Mariner, who is the daughter of the captain, but this seems to be a secret. As far as I can see, she's modelled on a kind of Ensign Ro figure: not comfortable with Starfleet rules, protocols and discipline, but underneath it all a good officer. Prone to bouts of explosive anger, recrimination, and your basic teenager I guess. Then we have Brad Boimler, who's a kiss-ass who desperately wants to be liked but seems not to be, D'Vana Tendi, an Orion possible space pirate, Sam Rutherford, who has a cyborg (Borg? No I don't think so) implant and is still getting used to it. Shaxs, a Bajoran and T'Ana, the ship's doctor, who appears to be a bird. Yeah, that's what I said.

Having been sent to therapy  by her mother, the captain, Ensign Mariner decides to take Ensign Boimler's holodeck simulation, which he's using as a dry run for his interview with the captain, and turn it into a movie starring all of them. Right. Why? Why not? Why do people who clearly need therapy, but claim they don't, do anything? Looks like they're re-running the opening of Star Trek: The Motion Picture, the scene where Kirk sees the new Enterprise. Using the music, too. Hmm. Their ship is called the Cerritos, which I'm afraid is always going to sound to me like Cheerios or Burritos, but there you have it.

Their mission is to find out who is masquerading as a Starfleet vessel, and as they arrive at the planet which supposedly made contact with it (second contact? It's the title of the first episode, so maybe it means something here) they're attacked by what looks like a Romulan Bird of Prey, and on board is, yes, you guessed it, the captain's daughter, who is calling herself Vindicta. For some reason, the captain doesn't seem to recognise her own offspring, or realise this whole thing is some sort of revenge porn fantasy. Meanwhile, Boimler is taking notes for his upcoming interview. Tendi decides she's had enough, seeing through what's going on here, and leaves. It doesn't stop "Vindicta '', who makes it to the bridge, faces the captain and, uh, blows up both ships. That'll show them, right? Then, um, she ends up fighting herself and realises that her mother is only giving her a hard time because she would be kicked off any other starship and she realises therapy works yadda yadda bloody hell.

Oh-kaaayyy. FIrst I will say I do NOT like the overly hip way the characters react here. I mean, I've never seen this and I don't know any of them, but one seems to be the captain's daughter, who gleefully flouts the Prime Directive and thinks she's going to be praised. When the captain sends her back to the ship for therapy, she's all like "I don't need therapy! This is the 80s, dude!" Eighties? I thought this was the 24th century or something? 2380? This is, of course, what you get for coming in right in the middle of a series; very disorientating. Looks to me to be a cross between Futurama and Rick and Morty, or something. The tone is very irreverent, very flippant, very immature. I know this was made more or less for kids, but come on. You gonna shit on the whole Star Trek legacy here? Okay, the credits haven't even run and I already hate this. Let's see if it has anything to recommend it. Dude.

It's not without its charm but this kind of "skater Starfleet" thing is not for me. I suppose I'm too old, but even so, I just don't get it. This isn't something I'd want to see more of now, to be honest. Some good humour, some self-referential humour and some clever bits, sure, but overall it's kind of annoying. No, that's not fair. It's not kind of annoying. It's very annoying.

Look, let's be fair here and give this a proper synopsis, so far as I understand it. Seems that nobody knows Mariner is the captain's daughter, so that's the first thing. Then this movie that she makes out of Boimler's hijacked interview holodeck programme is a way for her to face what she believes are her feelings of anger and resentment towards her mother, but then this other version of her (still don't understand that; is it another crew member? Can't be, as nobody else is supposed to know who she is) fights her and shows her that she does actually care about the ship and that her mother is protecting her, even if it seems she isn't. Boimler, learning the truth about her, fluffs his interview with the captain, who shakes her head and deplores the fact that he was not prepared.

Meanwhile, there seems to be some sort of gay relationship between Rutherford and Shaxs, and in the holodeck/movie he's able to express those desires and finds them sort of reciprocated, though I think the engineer is more interested in, you know, ship's engines than what's in his pants, but back in the real world he doesn't dare talk about how he feels. Tendi gets annoyed at being typecast as a pirate, which she says she is not.

The doctor/counsellor is pretty good: a birdlike being who seems to have some sort of fixation with food, which, if it's a recurring trait/gimmick, could be quite funny as the series goes on. Obviously it's popular, as it's slated for a fifth season. Ah, maybe I just need to try to look at it with younger eyes. Now, where will I get a pair of them...?

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/7b/Star_Trek_Prodigy_Logo.png/440px-Star_Trek_Prodigy_Logo.png)
Series: Star Trek: Prodigy
Total seasons (to date if current): 2 (Cancelled but then picked up by Netflix)
Episode: 1+2
Episode title: "Lost and Found"
Original transmission date: October 28 2021
Span: 2021 -
Writer(s): Various
Director: Various
Basic premise: Prisoners find an abandoned starship and escape
Mood: Upbeat, fun, cheerful, kind of a sense of wide-eyed wonder
Things I liked: The CGI of course; the intelligent scripting; the music
Things I didn't like: Really, nothing.
Timeline: Shrug. TNG?
Vessel: USS Protostar
Class: Intrepid maybe
Location:  Delta Quadrant
Dramatis Personae: Dal R'EI, the captain; Gwyndala; Jankom Pog, a Tellarite (and not a pog), ship's engineer/mechanic; Zero, a Medusan (remember TOS "Is There In Truth No Beauty?"); Tik-Tok sorry Rok-Tahk, Security and Science Officer apparently; Murf, a Mellanoid slime worm, because why not; Admiral Kathryn Janeway, the Protostar's hologram and later herself commanding another ship; The Diviner, some sort of galactic tyrant (boo!); Drednok, his robotic enforcer (double boo!)

Starring: (Voices of) Brett Grey, Ella Purnell, Jason Mantzoukas, Angus Imrie, Rylee Alazraqui, Dee Bradley Baker, Jimmi Simpson, John Noble, Kate Mulgrew

And this is the second one. Aimed at younger audiences, it seems to revolve around the adventures of a bunch of alien teenagers who find an abandoned starship (as you do) and go around doing whatever teenagers due in the 24th or whatever century this is set in. Features the voice of Kate Mulgrew reprising her role as Captain Janeway from VOY, as if we needed that. I think I'm correct in saying this is the first Trek series, animated or otherwise, which features an all-alien cast (other than Janeway), and also the only one other than VOY to be set in the Delta Quadrant.

Well I'll give it this: they use the fanfare in a far more respectable way than either of the two major continuations have, which starts me off on a better foot than I expected. Computer animation, of course, has progressed to the stage now where it seems completely realistic, as I realised when I caught a bit of Spielberg's Tin-Tin this morning, and had to check to see if it was animated (it was), so the CGI here is flawless. But is it a classic case of style over substance? Let's see. We open on the penal asteroid Tars Lamora, and I wonder if the writers are paying homage to Edgar Rice Burrough's classic science fiction/fantasy hero John Carter's Martian friend, Tars Tarkas, or if it's just an anagram of star? Or neither. Well anyway, there's a prison break under way and we're introduced to Dal R'El, who doesn't seem to know what species he is, when questioned by the robot enforcer, Drednok (now really! Dreadnought?) who is looking for "Fugitive Zero".

Being aimed at kids as this is, it's certainly action all the way almost from the word "engage!" and I have to admit, highly entertaining. A lot better, already, than Lower bloody Decks could ever hope to be, in my oh-so-humble but very much right opinion. Seems old Dal didn't make it out though, and now we switch to a Kazon handing over a catlike being to another in a hood - guess we'll find out soon enough who everyone is. Right then: seems the girl in the hood (yes it's a girl) is the daughter of this Diviner guy, the big bad, and that's old Dredlock sorry Drednok standing beside her. She's been given a mission by her father, to interrogate Dal and find out what he knows, if anything, about this Fugitive Zero. Of course, there's an ulterior motive, but the Diviner tells his enforcer she must never know what it is.

This girl, then, is called Gwyndala, but known as Gwyn, and very fluent in all languages, while Fugitive Zero is a Medusan, last seen driving Spock to blindness in TOS. With the only alternative prospect open to him being the tender mercies of Drednok, Dal agrees to help Gwyn find the Medusan, and sets off on his mission. Down into the deep core of the mine he goes, having been told this was the last known location of Fugitive Zero. He's chained to another big alien - who looks like a bigger, redder version of Marvel's Ben Grimm, the Thing - and after a slight altercation in which they crash down through the mine floor, they find an abandoned starship. Now they have a way out of here. Sweet.

This is obviously the Protostar spoken of in the introduction, and its being here, deep in a mine on a penal asteroid kind of mirrors something that happened in one of Abrams' films, can't remember which one: Star Trek Beyond maybe, where the alien was using a crashed starship as her home and base. Turns out the big Thing-type alien is female, and called Rok-Tohk, as the ship's universal translator kicks in and they can understand each other. Perhaps odd that a ship that has lain dormant for so long just fires up with a push of a switch, but hey, remember, this is for kids. Explanations can do one. This is fun. On board the ship they meet Fugitive Zero, who explains it is a Medusan, but has constructed a robotic shell so that nobody need see it, and thereby go mad. How thoughtful of it. And I say it, by the way, not as any sort of pejorative, but it clearly said it is "not a he, nor a she". So there.

It's a great touch, and very funny, to see the big lumbering rockpile we took as a mean, moody male monster speak with the squeaky voice of a little girl, and make comments like "ooh" - a real turnaround. But if they're to get their new ship off the ground, literally, they need a crew, so they rope in the local engineer, one Jankom Pog, and, um, a slime worm. Well, I suppose in the grand tradition of Trek since TNG, every ship needs its pet! As it looks like Gwyn is about to discover the ship, Dal distracts her but falls into the clutches of Dead Metal I mean Drednok, who has him taken to work on the surface of the asteroid, a real death sentence, since, you know, there's no atmosphere I guess. Oh right: they have suits. How silly of me.

He escapes anyway and leads Gwyn and Dredlocks to the Protostar. Which is a real bummer. You really don't want all those robots tracking mud all over the nice clean ship you just found. Honestly! Does nobody wipe their feet around here? When Drednok sends Gwyn onto the ship to check for more of what he calls "the Unwanted", Dal decides it might be a good plan to kidnap her and Junior Birdman the hell out of there. So they do, though the Diviner's daughter does not go quietly, which gives us a chance to see that she can, for some reason, do a T-1000 and fashion pointy sharp weapons from her hands, pointy sharp weapons that she puts to good use.

After what has to be described as a thrilling chase through vents and conduits and stuff, with Drednok doing his best to stop them leaving, and Dal on the outer hull trying to get the shields activated, they manage to escape, and with the intervention of the hologramatic Janeway to help them on their journey, the voyage of the USS Protostar is under way!

I thoroughly enjoyed this, much more than I expected to, and between the two animated series this wins hands down. It's hip, but not annoyingly so, and I can see why it would appeal to a younger demographic, though I can also imagine hardened Trekkers like me getting a buzz out of it. It's very cleverly written, even if the ghost of Voyager lurks around every corner - not surprising, with it being set in the Delta Quadrant and Janeway being involved, but even the closing credits very much mimic the opening of that series. I'm very impressed. I'd watch more of this.

Right then, for now, we have come to our last stop along this fifty-year-plus voyage, and it ends, kind of, back where it began, rather ironically.

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Series: Star Trek: Strange New Worlds
Total seasons (to date if current): 3
Episode: 1
Episode title: "Strange New Worlds"
Original transmission date: May 5 2022
Span: 2021 -
Writer(s): Various
Director: Various
Basic premise: The adventures of Captain Pike on the Enterprise before Kirk gets to be in the chair
Mood: Can only be described as TOS, which I consider a great compliment
Writer(s): Various
Director: Various
Things I liked: Almost everything
Things I didn't like: Not much really, though I could do without Jeff Russo's music
Timeline: TOS
Stardate: 1739.12
Vessel: USS Enterprise
Registry: NCC-1701
Class:  Constitution
Location:  Alpha Quadrant

Dramatis Personae Captain Christopher Pike; Mister Spock; Number One; Christine Chapel; La'an Noonien-Singh, head of security and descendant of Khan; Uhura; Erica Ortegas, helmsman; Joseph M'Benga, ship's doctor; Hemmer, Andorian and chief engineer

Starring: (Main cast) Anson Mount, Ethan Peck, Christina Chong, Jess Bush, Celia Rose Gooding, Melissa Navia, Babs Olusanmokun, Bruce Horak, Rebecca Romijn

And now it becomes clear (not that we didn't expect this) why CBS were so dead-set against all those fan films and series, especially those based in the TOS universe (though they were equally incensed about any other timeline too of course): they were making their own. Fucking took them long enough! Set before the events of TOS, and therefore the earliest in the official franchise, it looks into the adventures of Captain Pike when he was in command of the Enterprise, and before, presumably, he ended up as a bargain basement Dalek without a cover after his relaxing trip to Talos IV. The new series has already equalled its forebear, with a third season due to run this year (2024) and possibly more to follow.

Good to see some characters we know and love, even if they (obviously) are played by different people now, but Spock, Uhura, Christine Chapel and, um, Number One - who was originally played by Majel Barrett and therefore is in the odd position of, characterwise, playing alongside herself. Though as I say, of course, not the same actor. Let's hope Hell on Wheels's Anson Mount makes a better Pike than Jeffrey Hunter did! Interesting aside: Mount played, as I say above, in the western drama, in which also Colm Meaney featured. Anyway, after all this time and all these spinoffs and copies and re-imaginings, almost sixty years later we've come full circle as the last (to date) official series features the iconic original USS Enterprise, NCC-1701. Plus ca change, non?

Captain Pike is chilling at home (literally: it's cold in Montana!) while the Enterprise is in space dock. In what must be a tribute to both Kirk and Picard, (and possibly a nod back to his role in Hell on Wheels),  he rides a horse through the snow as he waits, the whole scene looking like something out of Game of Thrones until a shuttle lands near him, carrying an admiral who has a mission for him. He's reluctant for some reason to go back (Talos IV maybe?) but there's a First Contact situation, he's told, that has gone bad, and it involves his Number One. So he has no real choice. Once again, as in the movies, the Enterprise leaves spacedock early, not quite ready for her voyage, but it's good to hear those famous words again. Unfortunately they've let Russo loose on the theme again, though at least this time he does make some effort to retain the original theme. Man, I just don't like what that guy does with Trek themes at all. Hah! Sounds like Kang and Kodos from The Simpsons got in on the action there, right at the end!

On Vulcan, Spock has received an offer of marriage from T'Pring, and they're just about to, um, consummate the agreement when Pike sticks his nose in, and Spock has to leave her behind to rendezvous with the ship. She does not look happy. I am, though, happy to see that they've kept the basic look of the original ship without trying to upgrade it, and that they've also stuck to the TOS uniforms. Great to hear Spock talk about "Lieutenant Kirk", though whether or not we'll be seeing him is something I don't know. Odd how, instead of docking, Pike beams from the shuttlecraft onto the Enterprise. Hmm. Did he not trust the pilot? Women drivers, huh? Sorry, sorry: we all remember Deanna in Generations, and we shall speak no more of it.

I must say, the gender balance has shifted. So many female officers! In fact, it looks like Pike and Spock are the only two males on the bridge. How times have changed. The security chief is related to that villain of villains, KHAAAAANNNNNNN! (as Kirk would say) so this may be interesting. Of course Uhura is there too, at her usual communications console. Mount sounds very like Shatner to me; whether or not that's intended I don't know. It's also strange to hear him address the female crewmembers as "Miss", when in TOS - reflecting the well-loved male-dominated Navy - everyone was "Mister", even if they were female. Suppose it would sound silly and outdated. In his quarters. Pike tells Spock he has seen his own death, knows when and how he will die, and he is haunted by that knowledge. He worries what this will do to him as a captain, will it impair his judgement, make him more hesitant, less likely to take risks, or indeed more? This kind of links back to part of the original Pike's mindset in the pilot, and is a clever connection made.

As they arrive at the planet Kiley 279 (don't say it, don't say it, don't say it - oh all right: it's spinning around...) they see the USS Archer, dead in space. No life signs, no activity, just floating there. Spock confirms there were only three people aboard (surely it takes more than that to run a starship of any size?) and speculates they may have gone down to the planet. Good to see him use his favourite word: fascinating. As they put up the shields, on Noonien-Singh's recommendation, and over the protests of Spock, as this violates the protocols for First Contact, they are attacked from the surface by plasma torpedoes. Spock works out that though there was a warp signature detected, which would have despatched a ship to initiate First Contact, this civilisation is incapable of warp travel, and they have, instead, created a warp bomb.

Wait, what? A warp bomb? What the hell is that? Well I will say that their doctor is the happiest and friendliest of all I've seen in Trek, and that includes Bev. He's positively beaming! And there's Christine Chapel, looking well. The idea now seems to be to use plastic surgery to alter Noonien-Singh's (look, I'll just call her La'an, ok? It's easier) physiognomy so that she can pass for a native, find their people and get the Gene Roddenberry out of there before she's discovered. They arrive in the middle of protests and civil unrest, as rumours of a WMD circulate. I like Spock's reference to the USA and "both their civil wars" - very topical and scary.

In classic Trek style, Spock nerve pinches two guys and they take their clothes, transporting the two up to the ship, where - of course - one wakes up and goes running around the Enterprise: shades of "Return to Tomorrow" eh? Also kind of, in a way, reminds me of that Voyager episode where they had to stop the race becoming extinct and then failed when they realised the explosion that wiped the race out was caused by them. The landing party (are they calling it that, or an away team now, or something else?) find Number One and her crew, but unfortunately just as they're almost home free the drug used to change their appearance wears off on Spock, for whom it was not calibrated, and he changes back. Only one thing to do: fight, in the great Star Trek tradition.

It seems Number One and La'an have history, but more importantly, the warp bomb these people have made seems to be due to an accidental sighting of the USS Discovery? Right, let's see. Apparently when the Discovery went through a wormhole in space which allowed it to go forward in time, it was being pursued by enemy ships and the spot where that wormhole was is only a light year away - she calls the area Zero Point - and she says that there was no way the warp signatures could be missed. Good to see - great to see, in fact that Pike follows the tradition of Kirk and not Picard when he growls "Screw General Order One!" Oh yeah: first episode and he is going to kick that Prime Directive right where it hurts. See this airlock? Got that rule book?

In fairness, it's a very Kirkesque thing to do, and I have to wonder if old baldy would not have done the same? After all, they've given - if inadvertently - these people technology they should by all rights not have. They've created the problem, so in effect the Prime Directive has already been breached, if accidentally, and now it's up to them to fix it. What Starfleet captain worth his salt would do otherwise? Anyway, we're not just talking "A Piece of the Action", "Bread and Circuses" or even "Patterns of Force" here: these people will wipe each other out, and as Pike says, all those deaths will be on his conscience. Like any good captain though, he takes sole responsibility, and sends everyone else back to the ship. Except for Spock, of course. Gotta have a wingman.

So they allow themselves to be captured, and Pike gets to say those words: "Take me to your leader." Lovely. Then they try to explain to the planet's head honcho the mistake they've made, which really doesn't go down too well, when these Kileyans (?) think they're so clever to have been able to have created such a weapon. Kind of takes the fun out of it, you know? So Pike tries the softly-softly, we're so sorry, our bad approach, but it doesn't wash. Having shown them the carrot (ooer!) he decides it might help if he instead used the stick, or at least threatened them with it, and at a signal from him the Enterprise enters orbit, showing these backwards yokels who happened to stumble onto the secret of mass destruction the kind of people they are trying to fuck with. Having no choice now, the two factions meet to discuss terms, and to also discuss their new visitors.

But age-old enemies don't become buddy-buddies just because aliens have arrived, and the talks are not going well, so Pike beams down (in itself an attention-grabber) to show the people of Kiley 29 Earth's fate, when World War III broke out, and warn them that they are headed on the very same course if they don't take this opportunity to turn away from their own planetary destruction. In the end, of course, they choose not to go to war and accept Pike's offer to join the Federation. Later, La'an tells Pike she was part of a group captured by the Gorn (remember them?) and the only one to survive, and it turns out that Lt. Kirk they were talking about isn't our Kirk, but his brother, Sam. Makes sense really: Kirk didn't serve with Pike, Spock did.

Even more so than Discovery, this has been worth waiting for. They got it exactly right, where so many others have failed (but some succeeded): the correct tone, the bit of comic relief, the easy, family atmosphere, the somewhat high-handed moral lessons, the over-rosy future envisioned by Gene Roddenberry tempered with a healthy dose of hard reality. It's interesting that their first mission is in fact a repair one, a race to undo the damage they have done, if inadvertently - and that that screw-up actually ties this series back to Discovery, very clever. So in effect it's almost a bridge between the old and the new, a link both looking back and forward to the future, showing how the series began and how far it's come. I think I found Spock a little more emotional than I would prefer, but then, who could ever compare to the late, missed Leonard Nimoy's portrayal of the original and best? Pike's very  much a Kirk for the twenty-first century, almost his brother from another millennium, as it were, and I can see this going from strength to strength.

This episode perhaps leans a little heavily, as I mentioned, on tropes from the previous series, but it is finding its feet so we'll allow it that support. The ship looks great; not over-pimped for 2020 but still looking every inch the Enterprise we know and love, and the little bit at the end of the opening credits, where it goes into warp, like its bigger, Galaxy-class sister, is a fine homage both to TNG and VOY, as it should be. The mission statement at the end by Pike ties it all together nicely, and overall, despite a slight imbalance, to say the least, in gender, I'd say they got just about everything right here. Long may she warp!



And that, my friends, is it, for now at least. After fifty-eight years and countless series both fan-made and official, the franchise is back in what some of you would consider the right hands, and they seem to have learned a lot of important lessons. Overall, you'd have to say the official series have been generally good - my own dislike of Enterprise aside - and while I personally frown on a kids-oriented comedy version of Trek, it would now be fair to say that there is something in it for everyone. The original series was quite groundbreaking in terms of ethnic diversity, and this has only increased and improved as the franchise has powered on through now nearly six decades. There have been missteps along the way, sure, but nobody's perfect, and while some of the fan-made series might have been better had they not been made, many of them can all but stand proudly shoulder to shoulder with the official ones.

No doubt the series will continue to grow and evolve, and by the time I'm sitting in a nursing home dribbling into my soup and trying to figure out the remote for the TV, while everyone else laughs because they know you control the vision-box with your mind, grandad!, who knows what new strides the franchise will have made? As long as I'm competent and able, I'll keep adding to this as new series arrive, but for now this is where it ends for me. We've followed this phenomenon right through from its inception in the 1960s, when a young writer of westerns and cop shows had to convince a sceptical network to give his new series a chance, to its triumphant return, bringing everything full circle. It's certainly fitting that it ends as it began, with a ship called Enterprise boldly going where, well, everyone has gone before, but continuing the mission it originally set out upon, all that time ago.  Though many of the faces we grew up with have now passed on - may they rest in peace - their spirit lives on, and the behemoth they helped to create is now a billion-dollar industry, rivalled really by only one other franchise.

Whatever else happens, one thing is clear: the human adventure continues.

Live long, and prosper!