If You Were Killed By A Serial Killer..

[Guybrush]

.. Who should it be?

Morbid thread content warning!

Turn around!

No really!

Okay, so you're still here.

So for years I've listened to Last Podcast on the Left (mostly true crime / comedy) and so I am getting somewhat familiar with many of history's most heinous serial killers.

The morbid question is this: if you were to be the victim of one of these creatures, who would you prefer it to be?

On the flip side, who should it NOT be? Let it be known and state your reasons if you can.

My pick for preferable is gonna be scottish necrophiliac Dennis Nielsen. He's like a gentler Jeffrey Dahmer without the head drilling and cannibalism, etc. If everything went according to his plan, he'd get me dead drunk and choke me while I was unconscious. Only problem is I'm a teetotal, but oh well.  Also, my dead body would keep him company, so he'd get some "use" out of it. It could have alleviated his loneliness for a while.

My pick for undesirable would be Bob Bardella because he would violate and torture me for a long time and smash my limbs with a hammer to keep me from escaping. Big sigh!

[jimmy jazz]

Isn't Dennis Nielsen the one that blocked his building's drains because he kept flushing body parts down the toilet, then when Dyno-Rod were called out he said the blockage looked like KFC?

[Guybrush]

Isn't Dennis Nielsen the one that blocked his building's drains because he kept flushing body parts down the toilet, then when Dyno-Rod were called out he said the blockage looked like KFC?

Yep, that's him. My flesh being flushed down the toilet also kinda suits me since I work in wastewater / sewage management.

[jimmy jazz]

I think the Washington Snipers would pick me off while I filled up my car. I wouldn't know anything about it, which would be better than spending a night with Nielsen.

[Guybrush]

I think the Washington Snipers would pick me off while I filled up my car. I wouldn't know anything about it, which would be better than spending a night with Nielsen.

A headshot might not be so bad, but what if they miss and just take your jaw off? And I imagine it'd be stressful if you saw others getting shot or shot at around you before you yourself were taken out.

I'd have to spend time with Nielsen and he'd play me his favourite music, but his tastes weren't all bad. The main unpleasantness with hanging with Nielsen could be the reek coming from the dead bodies stowed around in his place.

[Rubber Soul]

I lived within the proximity of the DC Sniper and I have a feeling they may have even parked outside my house at the time (He had been spotted in Baltimore during the carnage but that came out after he was captured). That was a scary period for anyone in Maryland or Virginia at that time.

[Janszoon]

I lived within the proximity of the DC Sniper and I have a feeling they may have even parked outside my house at the time (He had been spotted in Baltimore during the carnage but that came out after he was captured). That was a scary period for anyone in Maryland or Virginia at that time.

That's creepy. I went to a protest march in DC right before they were caught and I remember being nervous about it.

[Guybrush]

I don't know much about them so just checked out the Wikipedia page.

This immediately caught my eye:

[...] the snipers killed 17 people and wounded 10 others in a 10-month span. [...]

Investigators and the prosecution suggested during pre-trial motions that Muhammad intended to kill his second ex-wife Mildred, who he felt had estranged him from his children. According to this hypothesis, the other shootings were intended to cover up the motive for the crime. Muhammad believed that the police would not focus on an estranged ex-husband as a suspect if Mildred appeared to be a random victim of a serial killer.

So you kill and maim a whole bunch of people to cover up one murder?

The mind of the psychopath is fascinating :|

[Toy Revolver]

i used to think i knew a lot about serial killers but then when these threads come up it's like normal people know as much about serial killers as i do jazz musicians- yall are sick - get help

to the question i just read a nurse was pumping air into the feeding tubes of newborns or something like that - that's practically like being aborted so i'll go with that - get er dun!

for what i wouldnt want is like gacy because i think he raped and tortured his victims over a long period of time - any of those that take you out into the country where no one can hear and go full bananas 🍌 like most people that's what i don't want - some weirdo that's gonna make me chew my own balls off or whatever - no thank you please

[Psy-Fi]

If prolific Mafia and Cartel hit-men count as serial killers, then I'd prefer to be taken out by one of them via a powerful bomb of some type which would instantly blast me to smithereens.

[Guybrush]

If prolific Mafia and Cartel hit-men count as serial killers, then I'd prefer to be taken out by one of them via a powerful bomb of some type which would instantly blast me to smithereens.

I generally don't think so unless they also have an inner motivation / urge that causes them to do so even when it's not a job and they're not getting paid.

Richard Kuklinski is a famous hitman who also killed people besides work, so he might fit the bill. If I remember correctly, his supposed craziest way of killing someone was tying them up in a cave to be eaten alive by rats.

[Toy Revolver]

If I remember correctly, his supposed craziest way of killing someone was tying them up in a cave to be eaten alive by rats.

Why on earth would you know this?

[Rubber Soul]

If I remember correctly, his supposed craziest way of killing someone was tying them up in a cave to be eaten alive by rats.

Why on earth would you know this?

There are things about Guybrush we don't know about

[Guybrush]

If I remember correctly, his supposed craziest way of killing someone was tying them up in a cave to be eaten alive by rats.

Why on earth would you know this?

Because Last Podcast on the Left made a series on him. You should check it out! I think it's one of their funnier ones

Edit:

Oh and he supposedly also set up a camera so he could watch the rats gnaw his victims to death.

[jimmy jazz]

I don't know much about them so just checked out the Wikipedia page.

This immediately caught my eye:

[...] the snipers killed 17 people and wounded 10 others in a 10-month span. [...]

Investigators and the prosecution suggested during pre-trial motions that Muhammad intended to kill his second ex-wife Mildred, who he felt had estranged him from his children. According to this hypothesis, the other shootings were intended to cover up the motive for the crime. Muhammad believed that the police would not focus on an estranged ex-husband as a suspect if Mildred appeared to be a random victim of a serial killer.

So you kill and maim a whole bunch of people to cover up one murder?

The mind of the psychopath is fascinating :|

It was a strange case. It seemed to go on for ages. Every time you saw the news they'd got one more and then the police started communicating with them via the media and press conferences.

Getting whacked by a Mafia boss sounds alright too, just walk into a room and next thing it's over.