Something Completely Different

Hey gang!

I thought it might be fun to have a thread about truly bad movies. This isn't necessarily movies that you hate. In fact, you may enjoy or even love them. BUT you are also aware that by standards approaching objective appraisal, they stink.

So which horrible movies were notable or meant something to you?

I posted about this in the Last Movie thread when I saw it earlier this year, but it's worth a re-mention.


Tiptoes (2003)

If you've seen the fantastic Forbidden Zone, you may remember the twin characters Rene and Squeezit Henderson played by Matthew Bright. He plays this handsome young man:

(https://44.media.tumblr.com/2ef11cb2a003888e1d4f134cce69032c/tumblr_pfgfyzAY7k1vg4erco2_500.gif)

Forbidden Zone was made by Richard Elfman, famous composer Danny Elfman's brother, and Bright knew them from childhood and so ended up in their movie as an actor. Later on, Bright himself would find work as both a writer and director. His most famous movie may be Freeway starring a young Reese Witherspoon and Keifer Sutherland.

But Bright had a pet project that he'd had since his teenage years. He'd wanted to make "a raucous comedy about little people f***ing each other". In the early 2000s, that project would finally materialize as the movie Tiptoes.

(https://flxt.tmsimg.com/assets/p85004_v_v9_ac.jpg)

Tiptoes is a drama movie about a normal sized couple that are about to have a baby. What he hasn't told her is that he comes from a family of little people, something that he himself has difficult feelings around. This results in a fair share of family drama and performing it all is a lovely cast that includes Matthew McConaughey, Kate Beckinsale, Patricia Arquette, Peter Dinklage and the esteemed Gary Oldman as the smaller sized brother of McConaughey's character.

Supposedly, the production was a complete mess and the same can be said for the finished movie which is vaguely offensive and quite ridiculous. You got Gary Oldman's fake muppet / dwarf legs whenever he sits on a couch. Peter Dinklage gives it his all with tremendous overacting as a french communist with Patricia Arquette as his carefree lover. McConaughey is weirdly upset and takes it out on everybody.

Supposedly, the movie ruined the career of Matthew Bright and he claims to have never seen it.

I HAVE seen it and it is great! Especially if you're the sort of person who might like to laugh at Oldman's muppet legs.

For your pleasure:


Also, read the whole story here (https://uk.movies.yahoo.com/the-incredible-story-behind-tiptoes-the-movie-in-121940150.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAHKMAJZE9sDFPJZPIxCbI_BFKnOQ1BHF4-Goi0Pmz_Emal9kfF7TPLBMBfEvGPzLjemcH2wwngKUL8VJ21bgOH15lOyn5qUjWB_yyw2ziieD1a19kv2rcAZ5H4hle71-tsrrKdViBC8AzIB6bpAgGC6ce-i5Q3p3_wXqNjj5tozp) if you want.

Dark Crimes(2016)!

I will go into detail why I hated it so much but I normally like Jim Carrey in his darker roles but this one just didn't cut it for me.

This thread is right up my alley! Most of my posts in the last watched thread are stinkers, but I have a bit of actual free time today since I'm off work, so watch this space because I'm gonna refer to some old lists of mine and try to come up with a top 25 or so worst movies I've ever seen. Brace yourselves.

Skinamarink (2022)

(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTE0MTM4ZGUtMjE3Yi00ZjZlLWExYjAtNWFkNTc5ZGM5MDMzXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTI2NTcyMjU5._V1_.jpg)

This movie got a lot of hype. Back on MB, Frown said he liked it (and I think another member did too, don't remember who). It's supposed to be this strange, surreal movie that appears to have come from surveillance footage. I saw some people saying it gave them more anxiety than practically any movie they've ever seen. Others said it was the most boring movie ever. Movies this divisive get my attention. It's safe to say I fall into the latter camp. Almost nothing happens, and when stuff does happen, you're not entirely sure what 'stuff' even is. There's no clear plot, no character development, very little dialogue, with two (maybe three tops) cheap jumpscares. And my god does it drag on and on and on. It's bordering on two hours long, and at one point, in the middle of the film - something begins to happen that raises the tension a bit, and you think: "Okay, finally, this is going to be the rising action - things are going to start to get crazy now", but after that point, it basically just wanders further and further into a void of boredom. My mind started to wander, and I started to think about work and what I wanted to do this weekend after the halfway point. My brain was so lacking in stimulation while watching this, it decided it would be more stimulating to think about work. No matter what you do with a horror movie, the absolute biggest sin is for it to be boring. This isn't a documentary, or a romantic drama - it's a friggin horror movie!

No tension, no suspense, no interesting plot, no big scares, and no payoff. It's cool that the director tried something new on such a small budget and managed to get as much buzz as he did - but this feels like one of those movies that some people just pretend they like for fear of being accused of 'not getting it'. I like indie arthouse horror - Eraserhead is one of my all-time favorite movies. But Eraserhead this movie is certainly not. File this under movies that completely wasted my time.

Interesting mention, @SGR , and one I haven't heard of myself.

Btw, seems we have a shared love for Eraserhead 🙂

Quote from: Mrs. Waffles on Oct 03, 2023, 06:00 PMThis thread is right up my alley! Most of my posts in the last watched thread are stinkers, but I have a bit of actual free time today since I'm off work, so watch this space because I'm gonna refer to some old lists of mine and try to come up with a top 25 or so worst movies I've ever seen. Brace yourselves.

Oh yeah! I've been looking to seeing Mrs. Waffles pick apart some atrocious movies  ;D

The Creeping Terror (1964)



In the "so bad it's good" category, this B&W low-budget sci-fi stinker from the 60's is probably the worst/best flick I've ever seen. This one is so bad it stinks in rotten company and makes 'Plan 9 from Outer Space' look like 'Star Wars.' It's so awful and obscure that I don't think a movie poster was ever made to promote it. 

Ok, so the full list is gonna take a bit more time. But I do want to share with you what I personally consider the worst film I've ever seen. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...

The Time Machine I Found at a Yard Sale.

I was turned onto this movie about three years ago by my friend Matt, who didn't give me any details about it but showed it to Mr. Waffles and I on some fateful weekend just before the pandemic. I still don't know any of the context behind this abomination, and frankly I don't care to find out. But the whole thing is on Youtube for any brave souls. You have been warned.

If you google "space movie that came out in 1992" you will get this gem of a movie that I found today.


I'm honestly not surprised that it was made by Danish folks.  :laughing:


Disclaimer I haven't watched it yet but I'm already prepared to laugh my ass off when I watch it later on tonight. One of the character's name is Sgt. Shaved Balls.  Another one is named ArminAss.

I watched this one many years ago, on a VHS rental, back in the late 80's. This might be the worst movie I've ever seen. Not in a "so bad it's good" way, but so bad that I felt like I was robbed of the cost of the rental as well as the time I spent watching it. A total trainwreck of a flick.

Alright folks, as promised, I made my worst movie list. I'm actually splitting this into two lists, one for films I genuinely hate, and one for "so bad they're good" movies.

This list will be the former, ordered from worst to least bad. Even though I say I hate these movies, I still kind of enjoy (at least parts of) some of them, if only out of some kind of twisted masochism. Some of them also have more personal stories attached as to why these films in particular.

So with that out of the way, here are my big 10 stinkers.

1. The Time Machine I Found at a Yard Sale (2011)
2. The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)
3. Battlefield Earth (2000)
4. Mac and Me (1988)
5. Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)
6. To Boldly Flee (2012)
7. That's My Boy (2012)
8. Foodfight! (2012)
9. The Last Airbender (2010)
10. Digimon: The Movie (2000)

Ooo, I've never seen Battlefield Earth, but of course I should. I'm endlessly fascinated by the stupidity that is The Church of Scientology, so I should get on that.

How is it?

I Heart Huckerbees


(https://flxt.tmsimg.com/assets/p34947_p_v8_ae.jpg)

Irreversible

(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNTdhM2FhOWItM2NiNC00YjYwLTkxZGEtYzNhYWM3YzU2NDQzXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTYzMDM0NTU@._V1_.jpg)

^Most people who have seen it seem to have nice things to say about Irreversible 🤔

I haven't seen it myself.

What do you think about it?

Quote from: Guybrush on Oct 05, 2023, 06:19 PM^Most people who have seen it seem to have nice things to say about Irreversible 🤔

I haven't seen it myself.

What do you think about it?

There is a certain level of voyeurism with movies that Im not the slightest bit interested in. And this movie has few peers in that regard as per cinema releases that have been available to the public.

The main issues is that it had an extremely graphic ~9 minute rape scene in it. I have no idea why this is something anyone would find entertaining or interesting to watch in the slightest and I ended walking out of the cinema with my friend (it was worse for him since he had significant mental health issues) well before it had finished.

Quote from: Meatwad on Oct 05, 2023, 07:37 PMThere is a certain level of voyeurism with movies that Im not the slightest bit interested in. And this movie has few peers in that regard as per cinema releases that have been available to the public.

The main issues is that it had an extremely graphic ~9 minute rape scene in it. I have no idea why this is something anyone would find entertaining or interesting to watch in the slightest and I ended walking out of the cinema with my friend (it was worse for him since he had significant mental health issues) well before it had finished.

Yes, it is the one thing everybody now knows about that movie and the reason I haven't seen it myself. It just doesn't sound so enjoyable. The story around it hopefully makes up for it.

I can't remember the names of the actors right now, but I do think they were married at the time. Maybe knowledge of that ould help soften the blow somewhat

It's Pat

I've only seen the trailers but they r trash :/ can't believe at one point society collectively thought gender ambiguity was funny instead of the ideal human form that we will all evolve towards eventually lol

It's Pat is pretty funny though. The lady that played Pat has debunked the theory that the character is transgender. I think just the actress playing Pat and some of the writing/scenarios is what made it funny. Not just the fact that they were making fun of gender ambiguity.

fair enough I've never seen it lol

PCU though I have seen and can genuinely say that is a trainwreck of a comedy

Titanic: The Legend Goes On... (2000)
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
Monster a Go-Go (1965)
Going Overboard (1989)
The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)
From Justin to Kelly (2003)
Chairman of the Board (1997)
Glitter (2001)
Battlefield Earth (2000)
Gigli (2003)
Simon Sez (1999)
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)
Troll 2 (1990)
Cool as Ice (1991)
Kazaam (1996)
Shanghai Surprise (1986)
Sharknado (2013)
The Master of Disguise (2002)
The Room (2003)
Batman & Robin (1997)
Reefer Madness (1936)
The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)
Plan 9 from Outer Space (1957)
Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

So I found this list of 25 bad movies based off of some rating. I wasn't paying attention to the rating I just got super excited about a new list of bad movies for me to watch. I have seen some of them but I'm about to re-watch some of these "classics".  :laughing:

25 Bad Movies slideshow (https://www.msn.com/en-us/movies/news/how-many-of-these-25-notoriously-terrible-movies-have-you-watched/ss-AA1lWUTd?ocid=msedgntp&pc=SCOOBE&cvid=b331e674a9614de9b1c600d950effa24&ei=38#image=1)

How dare they besmirch the fine name of Sharknado.  :laughing:

Completely disagree with that one. Glitter on the other hand.....  :poop:  :poop:  :poop:

Awesome! I've only seen 17 of those, and a couple I've never heard of at all. Once the mister and I can get back to doing bad movie nights more regularly I'll be sure to suggest some of those.

Quote from: Mrs. Waffles on Dec 29, 2023, 11:58 AMAwesome! I've only seen 17 of those, and a couple I've never heard of at all. Once the mister and I can get back to doing bad movie nights more regularly I'll be sure to suggest some of those.

Wow you are better than me. I have only seen 15 of them and I'm going to re-watch those 15 along with the new ones I haven't seen.

I definitely need to see Battlefield Earth 🤔 it's like part bad movie, part cult artifact. I know the director claims it has nothing to do with Scientology, but come on.. it's based on a book by L. Ron Hubbard and features Scientology's biggest star attraction after Tom Cruise!

Why haven't I seen it yet? Gotta get on that.

Quote from: DJChameleon on Dec 29, 2023, 01:00 PMWow you are better than me. I have only seen 15 of them and I'm going to re-watch those 15 along with the new ones I haven't seen.

Sounds fun! It's definitely been a while since I've seen a lot of them as well. Plus there's a few on there that I've seen but the man of the house hasn't; I was just talking with him about Vanilla Ice the other day and he said he's never seen all of Cool as Ice. so that's going on the list for sure.

The ones I haven't seen are Monster a Go Go, Going Overboard, The Beast of Yucca Flats, Glitter (surprisingly), Shanghai Surprise, Pluto Nash, Highlander 2, and Jason Takes Manhattan.

Titanic: The Legend Goes On... (2000)
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
Monster a Go-Go (1965)
Going Overboard (1989)
The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)
Chairman of the Board (1997)
Plan 9 from Outer Space (1957)
Shanghai Surprise (1986)
Simon Sez (1999)
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)

This list is the 10 that I haven't seen before. I have heard of Plan 9 from Outer Space but never watched it. I thought I saw Adam Sandler's first film Going Overboard but I can't remember anything about it so maybe I haven't seen it. I just heard that it was awful.

Oh man, you are in for an absolute treat with Garbage Pail Kids and Titanic. :laughing:

I might get a lot of hate for this but I don't like Breakfast Club, I just don't get the vibe of that movie it's not terrible but it's not for me.

Quote from: Janiya on Apr 15, 2024, 11:51 PMI might get a lot of hate for this but I don't like Breakfast Club, I just don't get the vibe of that movie it's not terrible but it's not for me.

It's literally a group of school kids sitting in a library during detention. It's pretty straight forward.

Quote from: Janiya on Apr 15, 2024, 11:51 PMI might get a lot of hate for this but I don't like Breakfast Club, I just don't get the vibe of that movie it's not terrible but it's not for me.

I will never forgive them for turning the goth girl into a prep.

Quote from: Janiya on Apr 15, 2024, 11:51 PMI might get a lot of hate for this but I don't like Breakfast Club, I just don't get the vibe of that movie it's not terrible but it's not for me.

Do you feel this way about all the Hughes movies? If so I get it. Breakfast Club 16 Candles


I do love Weird Science though. Used to watch the TV show too.

Never watched any of those but always assumed they're mostly held up by nostalgia.

I'm not a big fan of Buellers day off. I watched it once or twice and I'm good.

I'm sure it is purely nostalgic bait that holds it up with the other coming of age flicks.

Hercules (1983)
I saw this in the theater and even as a six year old I knew it was bad, really bad. Here's a scene from it of Lou Ferrigno beating up a guy in a bear suit and hurling him into space.   

Quote from: Key on Apr 16, 2024, 05:34 AMIt's literally a group of school kids sitting in a library during detention. It's pretty straight forward.

When I say vibe I mean trendiness that probably wasn't a good word to use :coldsweat: but that's literally my point I just don't get how people like the movie it was overhyped for no reason what so ever. I'm not going to sit here and sugarcoat something I don't like it's just my opinion about it this is probably the only movie I don't like.

Quote from: DJChameleon on Apr 16, 2024, 08:30 AMDo you feel this way about all the Hughes movies? If so I get it. Breakfast Club 16 Candles


I do love Weird Science though. Used to watch the TV show too.

I do like Weird Science as well and Uncle Buck I'm not really a critic when it comes to movies but a lot of his movies are overrated and it gets pretty annoying.

Quote from: Janiya on Apr 16, 2024, 02:11 PMWhen I say vibe I mean trendiness that probably wasn't a good word to use :coldsweat: but that's literally my point I just don't get how people like the movie it was overhyped for no reason what so ever. I'm not going to sit here and sugarcoat something I don't like it's just my opinion about it this is probably the only movie I don't like.

I first saw it when it was only a couple years old and I loved it. I had heard of it before, but I don't recall it being overhyped.

Quote from: Janszoon on Apr 16, 2024, 03:24 PMI first saw it when it was only a couple years old and I loved it. I had heard of it before, but I don't recall it being overhyped.

Breakfast Club was popular on TikTok like 2 years ago I just wanted to see what it was about I didn't really like it. Also, Dazed and Confused I liked this movie but then it got on TikTok not saying I don't like it anymore. It was overhyped on social media just like music there was a band called Tv Girl which is well known now because of the song "Lovers Rock" it spread like wildfire just because of one song. I liked Tv Girl for a second but it soon became old it's still really popular right now but I grew to dislike it. I don't know if anyone still uses Last.fm but "Lovers Rock" is their top song like it has been for the past two years I believe. Sorry for getting off topic but I didn't mean to say anything wrong about Breakfast Club I will rewatch if I missed anything.

Quote from: Janiya on Apr 16, 2024, 03:38 PMBreakfast Club was popular on TikTok like 2 years ago I just wanted to see what it was about I didn't really like it. Also, Dazed and Confused I liked this movie but then it got on TikTok not saying I don't like it anymore.

I don't use TikTok, so I really can't relate. I watched The Breakfast Club for the first time in probably 1989 or 1990 and Dazed and Confused in probably 1994 or 1995. I actually didn't like Dazed and Confused at the time, but I've become a big Richard Linklater fan in the past 20 years or so and I feel like it's one I should probably revisit.

Quote from: Janszoon on Apr 16, 2024, 04:13 PMI don't use TikTok, so I really can't relate. I watched The Breakfast Club for the first time in probably 1989 or 1990 and Dazed and Confused in probably 1994 or 1995. I actually didn't like Dazed and Confused at the time, but I've become a big Richard Linklater fan in the past 20 years or so and I feel like it's one I should probably revisit.

I can't relate seeing those movies back in the 90s so I can see where you're coming from things today are different. Like this generation is full of Swifties I'm not really a fan of her I'm more of a Ween fan.

My two cents: the teen movie from that time that's actually shit and praised for nostalgia's sake is Fast Times. Not even Sean Penn as the stoner guy can save it. The breakfast club is nice, most other John Hughes films are dated but charming, mostly thanks to the magnificent Molly Ringwald of course. Dazed and Confused was and is still incredible and I will die on that hill

I must have skipped over Dazed and Confused. Never seen it.