"Take this quiz to discover your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to better connect with your loved ones."
https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language (https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language)
My result:
Words of Affirmation™
33%
Physical Touch™
30%
Quality Time™
23%
Acts of Service™
13%
Receiving Gifts™
0%
***
Words of Affirmation™
Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," is important— hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.
Physical Touch™
A person whose primary language is Physical Touch™ is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.
Quality Time™
In Quality Time™, nothing says "I love you" like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether it is spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.
Acts of Service™
Can helping someone out really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. When others serve you out of love (and not obligation), you feel genuinely valued and loved.
Receiving Gifts™
Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to you of someone else's love and affection for you.
37% Words of Affirmation
27% Physical Touch
23% Quality Time
10% Receiving Gifts
3% Acts of Service
That's pretty close, though I personally think quality time is more valuable to me than words of affirmation. The two do very frequently go hand in hand though, the words happen during the quality time.
I'm not surprised acts of service and gift giving are so minuscule; I appreciate it when he does do the occasional thing to assist me, but I gain much deeper happiness from providing service to him , focusing on making his life comfortable and free of unnecessary work and stress, and knowing that all that I put into this relationship is treasured. His happiness is my happiness. :love:
I got:
Physical Touch™
37%
Quality Time™
30%
Words of Affirmation™
13%
Acts of Service™
10%
Receiving Gifts™
10%
This wasn't entirely new to me. We've been to couples counseling 😉
Edit:
My wife would answer this very differently from me and we have completely different love languages, so that's a challenge for us.
@Mrs. Waffles and
@Guybrush, thanks for taking the quiz. I think Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch are about even in my case because for me they go hand in hand (excuse the pun :))). Expressions of love and affection in words and touch are very important to me, and it's equally important for me to express them. I didn't grow up in an affectionate family, so that may be part of it. For me it's not about compliments, but expressions of tenderness.
Tore, we went to couples counseling just one time and my then-husband stormed out in a huff. We never made it to the love languages part. :laughing:
Quote from: Mrs. Waffles on Nov 17, 2023, 01:52 AMHis happiness is my happiness. :love:
That's the way it
should be and vice versa. That's what it's all about. :love:
I think a lot of these go hand in hand, certainly for us. When he cuddles with me he'll very often be praising me as well, and I'd count those cuddles as quality time.
And I absolutely agree,
@ribbons ! My sister once referred to Mr. Waffles and I as a two-person cult that worship each other, haha. And while we obviously each have pretty different ways of showing that, it's very much a mutual feeling of delight in each other's happiness.
Quote from: ribbons on Nov 17, 2023, 04:39 PMI didn't grow up in an affectionate family, so that may be part of it.
Same here. I loved sitting on laps and get cuddles, but my parents weren't really like that or particularly affectionate in any way.
I'm more affectionate with my own kids, of course, so now it's daily cuddles and I love yous.
My wife also isn't big on cuddles, but likes romantic gestures, compliments, gifts and that sort of thing. Admittedly, I'm not very good at that.
Quote from: Mrs. Waffles on Nov 17, 2023, 05:10 PMAnd I absolutely agree, @ribbons ! My sister once referred to Mr. Waffles and I as a two-person cult that worship each other, haha. And while we obviously each have pretty different ways of showing that, it's very much a mutual feeling of delight in each other's happiness.
A two-person worship cult - that's so funny, Mrs. Waffles :laughing:. I'm glad (and inspired!) that you and Mr. Waffles have such a mutually fulfilling relationship.
It's early days yet, but the person I've been seeing is very warm, personable and kind, not only to me but to everyone around him. It's nice to be with someone so easy to be with.
Quote from: Guybrush on Nov 17, 2023, 05:34 PMSame here. I loved sitting on laps and get cuddles, but my parents weren't really like that or particularly affectionate in any way.
I'm more affectionate with my own kids, of course, so now it's daily cuddles and I love yous.
My wife also isn't big on cuddles, but likes romantic gestures, compliments, gifts and that sort of thing. Admittedly, I'm not very good at that.
You can't ever love your children enough - you're a good dad, Tore. I've poured all my unbridled affection onto my children and still do - whether they like it or not, lol. But seriously, and luckily for me, they are pretty affectionate too and haven't outgrown it.
Words of Affirmation- 33%
Quality Time - 27%
Physical Touch - 23%
Receiving Gifts - 10%
Acts of Service - 7%
I don't require gifts or help with chores, I just don't want to have to guess about how I am regarded.
So far we're all low on Gifts and Acts of Service. :D
Quote from: degrassi.knoll on Nov 17, 2023, 05:51 PMI don't require gifts or help with chores, I just don't want to have to guess about how I am regarded.
Exactly. I have a friend whose husband can't say "I love you" and they've been married many years. He's a nice person, but he just can't say it. It makes her feel very insecure and I think I would definitely feel the same way.
Quote from: degrassi.knoll on Nov 17, 2023, 05:51 PMWords of Affirmation- 33%
Quality Time - 27%
Physical Touch - 23%
Receiving Gifts - 10%
Acts of Service - 7%
I don't require gifts or help with chores, I just don't want to have to guess about how I am regarded.
I feel very much the same. Makes sense that our scores are nearly identical, haha.
I have to say though that I do love giving gifts and performing acts of service as an expression of love, but words and touch are at the top still.
I was definitely touched-starved as a child, and verbally expressing love - or any emotion for that matter - was never modeled within my family, so I don't think it's by coincidence that these are things I value. It took time and practice though. I used to cringe at any affection and pull away from all touch. I've grown and softened and allowed myself to want these things.
Quote from: degrassi.knoll on Nov 17, 2023, 06:40 PMI have to say though that I do love giving gifts and performing acts of service as an expression of love, but words and touch are at the top still.
I was definitely touched-starved as a child, and verbally expressing love - or any emotion for that matter - was never modeled within my family, so I don't think it's by coincidence that these are things I value. It took time and practice though. I used to cringe at any affection and pull away from all touch. I've grown and softened and allowed myself to want these things.
I'm glad you're giving yourself permission to want and accept affection now. I was definitely touch-starved as a child as well. I was the youngest child in a traumatized family and anyone who was older than me in the family was (understandably) either distraught or acting out. So I kind of kept to myself and out of the way.
Acts of Service
33%
Quality Time
27%
Physical Touch
23%
Words of Affirmation
17%
Receiving Gifts
0%
From the apology language quiz on the same website..............
Make Restitution
38%
Accept Responsibility
35%
Planned Change
15%
Expressing Regret
8%
Request Forgiveness
4%
Quote from: ribbons on Nov 17, 2023, 05:46 PMYou can't ever love your children enough - you're a good dad, Tore. I've poured all my unbridled affection onto my children and still do - whether they like it or not, lol. But seriously, and luckily for me, they are pretty affectionate too and haven't outgrown it.
Thank you,
@ribbons 🙂 Your children must be thankful for having such a loving mother ❤️
Maybe it's not uncommon for those who have been a little touch/affection starved in childhood to try and make up for that later in life.
Quote from: ribbons on Nov 17, 2023, 05:38 PMIt's early days yet, but the person I've been seeing is very warm, personable and kind, not only to me but to everyone around him. It's nice to be with someone so easy to be with.
He sounds like a nice guy 🙂 I think kindness is an often a much too underestimated quality today.
Quote from: Guybrush on Nov 18, 2023, 11:58 AMThank you, @ribbons 🙂 Your children must be thankful for having such a loving mother ❤️
Maybe it's not uncommon for those who have been a little touch/affection starved in childhood to try and make up for that later in life.
He sounds like a nice guy 🙂 I think kindness is an often a much too underestimated quality today.
Thank you so much, Tore. ❤️ My children are wonderful to me, so I am very thankful for
them.
I agree that kindness, true kindness that doesn't just seek advantage, is an underestimated trait. I've never understood why some people view kindness as weakness. I think it's a powerful force that has a lasting effect.
Quote from: Meatwad on Nov 17, 2023, 11:26 PMFrom the apology language quiz on the same website..............
Make Restitution
38%
Accept Responsibility
35%
Planned Change
15%
Expressing Regret
8%
Request Forgiveness
4%
Interesting. I just took the Apology Language quiz too. I found this one difficult, as I hate shaming people especially if they seem genuinely sorry.
My results: Expressing Regret 40%
Make Restitution 24%
Request Forgiveness 16%
Planned Change 12%
Accept Responsibility 8%
"Expressing Regret" is the Apology Language that zeroes in on emotional hurt. It is an admission of guilt and shame for causing pain to another person. For those who listen for "Expressing Regret" apologies, a simple "I'm sorry" is all they look for. There is no need for explanation or "pay back" provided the apology has truly come from the heart. "Expressing Regret" is a powerful Apology Language because it gets right to the point. It doesn't make excuses or attempt to deflect blame. Above all, "Expressing Regret" takes ownership of the wrong. For that reason, "Expressing Regret" is understood as a sincere commitment to repair and rebuild the relationship.
The "Expressing Regret" Apology Language speaks most clearly when the person offering the apology reflects sincerity not only verbally, but also through body language. Unflinching eye contact and a gentle, but firm touch are two ways that body language can underscore sincerity.
Quote from: ribbons on Nov 18, 2023, 02:20 PMInteresting. I just took the Apology Language quiz too. I found this one difficult, as I hate shaming people especially if they seem genuinely sorry.
My results:
Expressing Regret 40%
Make Restitution 24%
Request Forgiveness 16%
Planned Change 12%
Accept Responsibility 8%
"Expressing Regret" is the Apology Language that zeroes in on emotional hurt. It is an admission of guilt and shame for causing pain to another person. For those who listen for "Expressing Regret" apologies, a simple "I'm sorry" is all they look for. There is no need for explanation or "pay back" provided the apology has truly come from the heart. "Expressing Regret" is a powerful Apology Language because it gets right to the point. It doesn't make excuses or attempt to deflect blame. Above all, "Expressing Regret" takes ownership of the wrong. For that reason, "Expressing Regret" is understood as a sincere commitment to repair and rebuild the relationship.
The "Expressing Regret" Apology Language speaks most clearly when the person offering the apology reflects sincerity not only verbally, but also through body language. Unflinching eye contact and a gentle, but firm touch are two ways that body language can underscore sincerity.
Im not into shaming people either so its not the apology per se that is important but a willingness for people to correct and amend behaviour. To be honest, its a bit of a strange quiz as I wasn't answering in terms of gaining restitution (surprising that this was my top result) and thought that the first two results should have been "Planned Change" and "Accept Responsibility".
Receiving Gifts - 33
Quality Time - 23
Acts of Service - 23
Words of Affirmation - 20
Physical Touch - 0
I've taken similar test before but found I had vastly different results this time around, and I believe I understand why.
Previously my primary love languages were Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Acts of Service all nearly tied. But now I see Receiving Gifts rising above them. I'm in a long-distance relationship across an international border which was closed for years due to COVID, and I only see them a few days each year. As such, it was important that Physical Touch not be a priority.
And in the last few years, I've been making my home a palace of inspiration surrounding myself with things which bring joy to my life. Little gifts serve as reminders of my relationship and help to curb my severe anxiety and complex trauma, so Receiving Gifts has risen in importance of late.
Words of Affirmation - 33%
Quality Time - 30%
Physical Touch -23%
Acts of Service - 13%
Receiving Gifts - 0%
I guess I really don't care about gifts lol
Quote from: Meatwad on Nov 18, 2023, 03:58 PMIm not into shaming people either so its not the apology per se that is important but a willingness for people to correct and amend behaviour. To be honest, its a bit of a strange quiz as I wasn't answering in terms of gaining restitution (surprising that this was my top result) and thought that the first two results should have been "Planned Change" and "Accept Responsibility".
Yes, I also found the quiz really difficult as in many cases I felt ambivalent about both answers and felt they had that shaming/holier-than-thou quality I dislike.
Quote from: innerspaceboy on Nov 18, 2023, 04:15 PMReceiving Gifts - 33
Quality Time - 23
Acts of Service - 23
Words of Affirmation - 20
Physical Touch - 0
I've taken similar test before but found I had vastly different results this time around, and I believe I understand why.
Previously my primary love languages were Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Acts of Service all nearly tied. But now I see Receiving Gifts rising above them. I'm in a long-distance relationship across an international border which was closed for years due to COVID, and I only see them a few days each year. As such, it was important that Physical Touch not be a priority.
And in the last few years, I've been making my home a palace of inspiration surrounding myself with things which bring joy to my life. Little gifts serve as reminders of my relationship and help to curb my severe anxiety and complex trauma, so Receiving Gifts has risen in importance of late.
That all makes perfect sense, ISB, and interesting and understandable how one's responses can change over time and circumstances.
Quote from: SGR on Nov 18, 2023, 04:39 PMWords of Affirmation - 33%
Quality Time - 30%
Physical Touch -23%
Acts of Service - 13%
Receiving Gifts - 0%
I guess I really don't care about gifts lol
Same here - 0% Receiving Gifts as well, lol. I've never cared much about gifts either, although they're appreciated. The love and kindness are the top priority for me.
The apology language quiz was interesting - I find very few people are able to apologize appropriately and effectively in general.
Accepting Responsibility: 32%
Planned Change: 28%
Make Restitution: 20%
Expressing Regret: 16%
Requesting Forgiveness: 3%
This tracks. I'm always telling my boys "I accept apologies in the form of changed behavior." One of the most powerful things you can do working with kids is to admit when you're wrong, and to model taking accountability and moving forward constructively, and this is a lesson that has benefitted my personal growth tremendously.
^ Absolutely, and the key word you used there is to "model" taking accountability and moving forward constructively. Serving as an example of how you wish or expect others to behave is very important, whether in dealing with kids or adults. Sort of a "be the change you wish to see in the world" mentality.
Words of Affirmation™
29%
Quality Time™
26%
Receiving Gifts™
19%
Physical Touch™
16%
Acts of Service™
10%
thats what I got
37% quality time
27% acts of service
20% words of affirmation
10% receiving gifts
7% physical touch
This quiz was strange, the wording was confusing, and sometimes the choosing phrase was not really correct because I wasn't interested in it.
My head doesn't work in English right now 😆
Acts of Service™
27%
Words of Affirmation™
23%
Physical Touch™
23%
Quality Time™
23%
Receiving Gifts™
3%
I've never really thought much about what my love language is. It would be interesting to know what my boyfriends is, I do think we differ 😂